A year ago, the children and I planted some wildflowers in a corner of the yard. I have an incredibly brown thumb, so when I didn’t see anything coming up that resembled flowers, I assumed our lovely bermuda grass had choked them out. The rest of the summer, we mowed over the spot and that was that…or so I thought.
This year as my oldest son was preparing to begin the mowing season, he mentioned that he thought he saw something that might be flowers growing over in the corner of the yard where we had planted the wildflowers the year before. He asked to not mow that spot and see what sprang up. I agreed, rather doubtfully.
A couple of weeks later it was quite clear they were indeed flowers!
“The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ But he said, “No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.”‘”
Matthew 13:24-30
Blake mentioned this parable the other day when we were discussing our wildflowers and this little “sunflower” plot:
“Are there really sunflowers growing in that mess?” I asked him. Letting it all grow up a bit before making a judgment call lest we uproot the “wheat” was his wise advice. Time will tell the truth.
I was sitting here tonight mulling over our flowers and how much this little story applies to parenting. Last mowing season, I was swift to mow down what appeared to be weeds. I didn’t take the time to be certain about what I seeing. I just went in with both guns blazing and totally missed out on the wildflowers that year.
We have a tendency to “mow down” our children. Perhaps it is because we feel we know exactly what they want and the motives behind what they want before they can even get a complete sentence out. Maybe there have been trust issues in our relationship with them and we no longer fully hear them nor believe them. It could just be we don’t take the time to let them finish their sentence because we have other things on our minds and other issues to take care of. Sometimes we just flat out ignore them.
“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19-20
How often are we slow to hear, swift to speak, and quick to jump to angry conclusions? How many times have we jumped all over our children without the full story because we interrupted them with our own perceptions? Has there ever been a time when we realized later we were wrong…very wrong?
Maybe it wasn’t even something that caused an angry reaction in us. Maybe it was just an irritation to us or one more whiny voice in the soundtrack of our lives. Whatever the “reason”, how often do we mow over our children and miss the flowers?
I’ve purposed to stop cutting my children off in mid-sentence no matter how confidant I am that I know exactly what they are going to ask me. I’ve purposed to really listen and try to get a full understanding of what they are saying and thinking before I make a judgement call. I’ve purposed to stop “fixing” everything by mowing it down and spend more time cultivating and tending the little seedlings the Lord has entrusted to me. Sadly, I’ve probably missed a few flowers along the way. (and I am all about flowers!) That’s why I just keep praying my heart’s prayer, “Thank you, Lord, for giving me these precious babies. Please don’t let me warp them!
“Are there really sunflowers growing in that mess?” I asked him. Letting it all grow up a bit before making a judgment call lest we uproot the “wheat” was his wise advice. Time will tell the truth.
Great post….I love finding surprises in the Garden!
I have a hard time with my 15yr old and knowing the big bad world out there….
I always mow down his plans with friends and going places…..
I tend to think the worst.
I quess I need to trust that I taught him well! And not always mow him and his plans down.
I really liked your Ship post too that talked about having them have imput in directing the ship!
It seemed so easy to “CONTROL” hee hee things when they were little!
EEEKKKK and he’s the oldest!
Blessings,
Georgiann
Ouch!! Thanks for the timely reminder.