Comments on: Grief – What Can I Do?

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:28:24 +0000

I have a very good friend who’s twins are just 6 wks younger than Emmy would have been. I stare at them a lot…memorizing how they move and look. It is a good reminder to me that children do grow up. For a long time I struggled with feeling as though children just don’t grow up…especially those who face adversity.

Thank you so much for linking to me and reading about our precious Emily. Many blessings to you on this journey.

By: Deirdre

Deirdre — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:09:59 +0000

Thank you for this post. I am posting a link to it on FB so that more folks will be prepared to minister (in a helpful way) when a friend is grieving. We too are QF and have 3 children awaiting us in heaven. I found your blog through my friend’s blog (Raising Olives).
Thank you for sharing your experiences with losing Emily. I have an adopted child that was born w/in a few months of her birthdate. (We only have a few children b/c we have faced yrs of infertility.) Do you find yourself reaching out and touching children (like a pat on the head) around the age of the child you lost? I sometimes do because I am thinking, “Oh, this is the size my child would be now if she/he were still alive.”

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 23:25:32 +0000

Wow. This was so amazingly helpful. Thank you for being so honest. I will try and remember this in the future.
Amanda´s last blog ..Ah-mazing!

By: Robin Charmaine

Robin Charmaine — Sat, 22 May 2010 15:05:00 +0000

This was so great – thank you.

By: Looking for Someone to Blame in Tragedy | Raising Arrows

Looking for Someone to Blame in Tragedy | Raising Arrows — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 05:07:45 +0000

[...] you can say and do for a grieving person (particularly a grieving mother), visit my post entitled Grief ~ What Can I Do? Enjoying what you've read here? Make sure you subscribe to Raising Arrows RSS feed for all my [...]

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 15:11:11 +0000

This was such a helpful post! I hate not knowing what to do or say when others are suffering! Thank you for using your own grief as a springboard for helping others!
Elizabeth´s last blog ..Lessons from Spring

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:29:07 +0000

Thank you for this. I will really try remember all your points as I spend time with my sister-in-law who just lost their daugther.

I had a friend that mentioned her sister sent birthday cards for her late son every year just so she would know that they would never forget him. So I added my niece to my birthday calendar as well. We will never forget her.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:06:25 +0000

Dear Amy, this is a wonderful list of very useful advice indeed.

I felt especially connected to the part about daring to mention the deceased child's name.
10 years ago, we lost our twin boys (they were 20mo) and what I remember clearly is how people seemed to think I wasn't doing ok because I kept talking about them all the time. As if they thought I was in denial or something. But to me, it was nothing different than refering to any other child, parents always refer to their children, what they liked, did, said that was funny or whatever.

But it is indeed a huge misunderstanding that it's best not bring up the subject or mention the child. It's probably quite the contrary to most grieving mom's - particularly in the beginning.
Peace in Christ, Mette

By: Lisa writes...

Lisa writes... — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:06:24 +0000

I like the vulnerability and the practical wisdom of this post. Thanks for helping us all be better friends to those who grieve.

By: Relishing Life

Relishing Life — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:06:19 +0000

Thank you for the loving and sage advice!! It is difficult to know what to do to help someone who is grieving. As you said, there is nothing that you can do to take away the pain – but you sure wish you could. Your wisdom will help guide me the next time I am faced with this difficult situation.

Blessings,
Katherine