{A few days after I wrote and scheduled this post to go out on Emmy’s birthday, an online friend found out she would be delivering a baby that would not live. Every time I hear of another mama who will have to walk this road, I ache. There are never any words that make this road less painful. Please lift up Ashley and her family as they begin this journey. You can read more on her blog: Two of a Kind.}
About once a week, I receive an email that causes my heart to catch in my throat. Tears well up in my eyes and I find myself so very thankful for the wonderful people who read this blog.
A couple of weeks ago, someone posted my Grief is Dirty post on Facebook, and I suddenly had an influx of people reading Emily’s story and many of my grief-related posts. The comments poured in and I found myself more than once, in tears.
Perhaps it is because Emily’s birthday was so close at hand. Perhaps it is pregnancy hormones. Perhaps it’s the fact that I have always been overcome with emotion when I think of all the people who were there for us and continue to be there for us 2 ½ years later.
I also read many, many comments from mothers who say how our loss has taught them to appreciate their children even more. That is truly what I have always hoped would come from my sharing our story. It makes my tears worth it.
Children are precious. Every. Single. One. Not just the perfect ones. Not just the healthy ones.
Today would have been Emmy’s 3rd birthday. I can hardly believe it. When she was born, we had no idea she had a congenital defect that would eventually take her life. She seemed perfect. Now, she truly is.
I still wonder what she would look like. I still feel a lump in my throat when I look at pictures of her or pictures where she is so obviously missing. There even continue to be days when I wonder WHY. And then someone leaves a comment or emails and I realize THIS is why.
This blog was named Raising Arrows long before Emily passed away. It has always been a place where I chronicle what life is like in our household. Part of my journey has been to deal with the loss of a child. Because I am committed to offering a candid look at life in a larger-than-average Christian homeschooling family, Emily’s death had to be a part of that story.
None of us have a fairy-tale journey. Not everyone will lose a child, but everyone will have a story to tell. In the telling of that story, whether it be on a blog, in a book, one-on-one with a friend, it will reach out to someone else in ways we may never know.
Today, I celebrate little Emily’s birthday. I remember her. I miss her. I share her with all of you.
Jo Princess Warrior says
He sees every tear you cry. Happy Birthday Emily. ((((HUGS))))
You are helping so many women sharing your story and tears. Thank you. xo
Grace Wheeler says
Amy~I woke up this morning thinking of you and Ashley…
It’s my Liberty Joy’s birthday today and with Ashley on my heart, it’s been a bitter/sweet morning.
I went on a walk last night (i’m here in Wichita) and prayed for you and Ashley, went to sleep praying for you two and woke up praying for you both! I pray you can FEEL those prayers today!
Happy birthday sweet Emmy!!!
Missy says
May God comfort you today…praying for your family.Happy “earth birthday” Emily.
Laura (kidsmomofmany) says
Amy,
I can’t go about my day without remembering Emmy with you. I miss her my dear friend. I grieve with you and for you and Ty and all the kids. Your little firecracker and my Sofija will always be intertwined in my heart and mind. Seems like yesterday, seems like forever…She gave me hope in my darkest hour, she brought me to my knees with grief when I heard she had died, she will never be forgotten.
Laura
Morgan says
God Bless you.
You are God’s dear child, and He doesn’t lost any of them. I am praying for you today. God bless your family!
Stephanie says
Prayers for your family as you reflect on Emmy’s short life here on Earth. Happy Earth Birthday, Emily! {{Amy}}
Fruitful Harvest says
Oh Amy (((((HUGS))))
Happy Birhtday to your sweet Emily!
I will keep Ashley in my prayers!
(I heard of her story last week)
You have been such a blessing to others through your powerful writing! God has given you a gift, thank you for sharing it with all of us!
Blessings and Prayers,
Georgiann
Stephanie Hanes says
Oh Amy…I don’t know if I’ve commented before, but I couldn’t keep quiet today. First – happy birthday to your sweet Emmy. I love how you said she seemed perfect, but now she is perfect…but, as a mom of two little ones, that thought scares me. Lately I’ve felt this fear overcome me at random moments that something might happen to one of my precious children…but I need to remember they are the Lord’s and they are a blessing I must cherish each day. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing your sweet little girl with us. I’m praying for you and your sweet family today.
Michelle says
Your blog, Emmy’s story…all if it has been such a blessing to me. I have never lost a child but my heart aches with you. I have sent many a mother here for encouragement. God bless you and thank you for being a light. Hugs to you and all of your family today.
Annie @ Beauty in the Surrender says
You are so precious and I have truly felt blessed by your selflessness on this blog. By opening your heart to us has been an inspiration to me in so many ways because I have gleaned so much from Raising Arrows.
I lost my sister Emilie in her infancy on July 2, 1990. I was 10 years old at the time but I never miss a July 2nd with out her crossing my mind.
I am so touched by your journey and your testimony. Thank you for doing what you do.
Nicole says
Amy,
God bless you and your family.
Your blog has shown me the way, through very hard times.
Thank you for being my light in the dark.
And thank you for sharing Emmy’s story.
Brandi says
I can hardly believe that it’s been three years since Emmy was born! So many life changes in the past three years Amy. All for a specific purpose and Glory. <3
Julie Knight says
I lost my child to cancer 19 months ago. His “7th” birthday passed and it was more difficult than the 6th. He is missing in so many things but yet is fulfilled in so many other ways. We miss him, we still get annoyed when folks don’t get it, we know he is in a better place but would still prefer him to be here. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Julie K
Tanya - Lilyofthevalley says
(((Amy))) I thought of you on July 4th. I so well remember the day Emily was born and I was so excited for you! She shares a birthday with my oldest, she just turned 12.
I am one of those who has treasured her children more since Emily’s death. I was so touched and you have often been on my heart and in my prayers ever since.
(((hugs)))
Lynnette says
Happy belated 3rd birthday to sweet Emily. I feel blessed to have been a small part of her precious little life.
Thinking of you… and Emily.
Lynnette