The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Ain’t Mama

In this day and age children are a hobby.  They are part of a bucket list…something to do before we die.

Get a high paying job – CHECK
Visit another country – CHECK
Have a baby – CHECK

Eventually, they are relegated to the status of “pet”, we put them in “quality kennels”, pat ourselves on the back for making such sound decisions, and head off to pursue the next thing on the list.

The hand that rocks the cradle, truly does rule the world. But guess who is rocking the cradle?  Not mama.

Oh sure, she spends the evening hours and weekends rocking the cradle–that is, if her children aren’t spending their evening hours immersed in homework and their weekend hours immersed in ballgames.  But, truth be told, she cannot compete with the 14,000+ hours the government spends “rocking the cradle” during her offspring’s childhood.

Recently, I saw how different our world has become due to government intervention in the raising of our children.  A couple of friends of mine were drug through the mud due to their choice to breastfeed past infancy.  They were told their toddlers were nearly “school-age” and how unacceptable breastfeeding at that age was.  I had a hard time figuring out why someone would think these children were “school-age”; until one of the moms pointed out to me that children now enter school at age 3.

We’ve gone from ROCKING the cradle to ROBBING the cradle!

Earlier and earlier our children become wards of the state.  Oh sure, the motives of the government seem pure.  Things like early intervention for poverty-stricken families and the need to raise test scores to be able to compete in the global market are touted as good reasons to snatch children from their homes in toddlerhood, but have we seen any positive effects from all of this?


If anything, we’ve seen parents gladly give up their parental rights to strangers who “know better” how to raise youngsters.  Does no one see a problem with this?  Somehow a teaching certificate or a government title makes a total stranger better equipped to teach (and essentially raise) a child I physically gave birth to? What kind of outlandish logic is that?

Call me a control freak.  Call me a radical conservative. Call me subversive.  Call me an overprotective mama.

Call me what you will…

I’ll do the rocking myself, thank you very much.

Tapeworm’s State of the Legion Address
Voddie Baucham’s The Children of Caesar DVD
Government Nannies by Cathy Duffy

80 Comments on The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Ain’t Mama

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80 thoughts on “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Ain’t Mama

  1. Call me what you will, I will be the one to rock the cradle too, thank you! How dare so-called “professionals” (who view children oh so clinically rather than personally) think they know better than a mama and daddy??? My child has a soul, a personality and a future that requires shaping and disciplining for HIS glory, and that will never happen at the hands of “professionals” whilever my husband and I are capable!!

  2. Hi Amy!
    Thank you for this post – you are so right!
    Our government tries to “rob the cradle” too. Children are put in child care earlier and earlier, so their parents can earn “enough money” or because everyone is convinced they cannot properly raise their children (but “professionals” can…).
    Here in Germany you must send your children to school (homeschooling is forbidden). You can send your kids to Kindergarten at age two for free – I’m sure it will become obligate soon.
    Parents are leaving Germany to homeschool their children – if they can afford it,9171,1968099,00.html.
    Others are imprisoned
    Sorry, I’m leaving far to long comments everywhere – it just makes me cry.
    And sorry for any mistakes I make – English is not my native language.

    • Wow, did not know parents were imprisoned. I read both links and reposted one link for my friends to read. You should keep trying to get the information out on the web, because most people have never heard of it.
      Your english is perfect, so do not worry.

  3. WOW! Powerful post! I am standing up in my living room right now applauding you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to share this on my Facebook and post it on my blog as well! THANK YOU FOR BEING BOLD ABOUT TRUTH!

  4. Love this post! People need to take note of how many of our governments methods (women must work, children go to govt. school, very young children should be raised by the state) mirror that of socialist countries, and vote accordingly!

  5. Thank you for posting this. You put into words exactly how I feel. One reason I started looking into homeschooling was the attitude of the parents; that you must put your children in school at 3 to give them the competitive advantage. The parents were the competitive ones; wanting their kids to read first or write first. I didn’t want to send my child into that kind of environment.

  6. Amen! I’ve been really struggling with putting my twins back into Kids Day Inn this fall. Yes, I’ve normally done this so I can get Dr. appt’s in, etc, without them. I guess we’ll see what God wants me to do.

    • Michelle, you CAN do it!! I am also the mother of twins. They are number 4 & 5 in our tribe of 6 children. And we had all 6 in a span of 6 yrs from oldest to youngest. And we’ve homeschooled since day one. So if I can do it, I KNOW you can do it! Blessings on you & yours!
      From another Michelle, mother of another set of twins.

  7. This is sooo true!!! My husband and I often talk about how in this day of age, we are considered the “weird” ones because we actually are with our children all the time. I dont understand how parents just hand over their most precious thing (not that a child is really a thing, but you get the point) without questioning whose hands they are giving them to. I guess they are the experts though!
    Thanks for sharing this post!

  8. Loved the post! I have to tell you I’ve only been at home since the end of February but had felt for so long I was working so others could raise my children. I didn’t think we could do it on one income. But God kept working on me and my husband and he called me at work one day and said you need to be at home raising our children, God will work out the finances. That was all I needed. And you know what, God has worked it out for us. Yes, we budget better but we don’t miss my salary like I thought! I’m still learning but consider myself very frugal now. This is the way God wants it and we’ve never been happier. I love being with my kids and just started homeschooling yesterday. Just thought I’d pipe in as a former career-chaser.

  9. My friend recently took on babysitting a 2 yr. old little girl in her home (she’s married and hasn’t been able to have children). She’ll have this girl for 65 hours a week! I said “you aren’t babysitting her, you are her new Mom!!”.

  10. I totally agree. Since my first child was born I’ve thought about homeschooling. It just makes sense that I should be the one to educate her, not a stranger! I definetly know there are amazing teachers out there (my husband is a public school teacher!) but who better knows my child and how she learns best than me?? Some people get offended at that, pointing out that public school teachers are “trained” (I can’t even count how many teachers I know that went to school for something else, that career failed so they decided to teach, I don’t know that I’d like my child taught by someone who is “falling back” on teaching and isn’t passionate about it!). God gives me all the training I need!

  11. You are so so right! The government has far too much say in our childrens lives. I took my two school aged girls out of public school last December. I felt like the Lord was telling me that He had given ME those girls to raise. If he had wanted Mrs. So-and-So to raise them they would have been HER children. We are starting our first full school year next week. I now have one in 4th, 3rd, and K. I am so excited to be the one taking care of my babies!

  12. Yes…I am the one to raise MY children!! I know so many who say “I just couldn’t be around my kids all the time, it’s just not for me, I’m a better parent when I have a job.” This is SO SELFISH! I’m sorry, but being a parent means 24/7, not just when you think you can handle it! Even when my children are driving me insane (and today is kind of one of those days…), I STILL want to be the one who is with them. I AM THEIR MOTHER! Not the state! I am disgusted with the state of education in this country anyway, which teaches them to fall in line and do what they’re told as much as to read and write. Ugh!

    And by the way, I am proudly breastfeeding both my 1-year-old and my 2.5-year-old and neither are showing any signs of stopping! I’ll keep going even if they are “school age” lol.

    This entire topic drives me nuts. But if I say anything I’m told I’m judging working moms, or those for whom homeschooling just isn’t right. Sigh.

    But, seriously? If you have children, RAISE THEM YOURSELF!! Do whatever you have to do (unless you are a single parent) to be home with them! It’s worth it!

  13. My mother worked full-time, so I had to go to school and after school care. Someone other than my mom had me all day from about five months old. I longed for my mother. At least she was a teacher so we did have a couple of months together in the summer. I made up my mind to be there for my kids. They may have to pay part of their own way to college if they decide to go, and they won’t have a bunch of luxury items growing up, but I’m here for them now! Actually, I am rocking my own sleeping baby as I type. She is one year old today and I get to spend her whole birthday with her!

  14. Great post Amy! As we attempt to define our child-rearing “mission statement” of sorts, we have had to confront this issue and really decide what we believe. It is risky at best to allow our children to be influenced for most of their lives by people whom we do not know. Homeschooling has become more of a family lifestyle for us than a method of education. The academic education is but one component of the benefit of learning to live our daily lives together with love and respect and dependence on God.

  15. AMEN! My husband and I have an ongoing conversation about this exact subject. It just amazes us how selfish (and naive) some people are. It’s definitely not always easy, but as mom’s, God has called us all to the ministry of our home and that means our marriages and our children (including educating them) come above all other worldly things.

  16. Excellent post, Amy. Sharing and tweeting it.

    My 28 month old and 15 month old do not go to preschool or daycare, and I can’t imagine leaving my little ones for the majority of their waking hours in someone elses care. It is heartbreaking to me that anyone has to do that, and even more heartbreaking that people *want* to do it.

    I can certainly understand the feeling of wanting a break sometimes, but there is a big difference between dropping the kiddos off at Grandma’s house for an afternoon once in a while and dropping them off anywhere every day.

    Oh, and that is an adorable and very funny picture. :)

  17. Excellent! I’ve been ‘rocking the cradle’ for nearly 4 years (my oldest will be 4 in Sept). We’ll homeschool too :)

    And I just had to leave them for 1-1/2 hours to go to an appointment yesterday, and they didn’t mind a bit! So much for them needing to ‘practice’ being away from me so it’s not traumatic. I’ve only left them maybe 4-5 times for things like dentist appointments, and they’ve always done well.

    It’s amazing the myths that surround needing to leave our children for various reasons…

  18. This was wonderful…So sad but true. I’ve noticed this “earlier and earlier” trend among my neighbors. They say they’re considering homeschooling, and then by age 4 they decide they’re going to send their kids to school…and that there’s this program for pre-k or earlier kids…I suppose the only reason they considered homeschooling was for academic advantage…seems very sad to me.

  19. I’m glad you posted this. I have been looking into preschools for my 3 year old and after seeing the school and reading the papers, I just don’t think it’s right for us. I’ve been considering homeschooling for 6 months or so now and I think instead of spending the $ on preschool, I’m going to get my act together and start homeschooling. :) As much as my kids get on my last nerve, it’s what feels right to me.

  20. here’s a suggestion that might help change this situation…..the Republicans and Democrats are responsible for allowing the government to interfere in our daily lives. again, this is the great “change” that our current president promised! if people are fed-up and don’t want things getting worse than vote differently. the media refuses to acknowledge the fact that there are 4 different candidates running for the 4th Congressional District. there is Greg Cowan, Constitution Party and Jason Michael Braun, Libertarian. it is up to the American people to remove these “career politicians” and get fresh new people in that will uphold the Constitution.

  21. follow-up from my mistakes…also let’s not forget the Republican candidate, Vickie Hartzler and of course Democratic candidate, Ike Skelton.

  22. Very well said! I totally agree. I used to work in daycare. Now that I have children I am a sahm and we homeschool. People have no idea how much influence other people have on their children while they are away working everyday.

  23. Girl, you are so right on! As a matter of fact, I have a book idea with the title being, “Children Are Not a Hobby!” I have had this idea percolating for probably ten years at least! Who knows if I’ll ever write it because I am busy RAISING MY CHILDREN! :)

  24. I nursed all 6 of my children until they were almost 2. My daughter-in-law breastfed my granddaughter until just after 1. I homeschooled all 6 of my children. I would be upset if my granddaughters were left alone at 4 years old. Be wise – I would destroy that picture etc. Join Home School Legal Defence Association as we did- it helps others and they immediately give you behavior guidelines. Humbly, Taryn

  25. Great post. I seriously think that not many parents give a lot of thought to what is really happening with their children and who is raising them. There are so many areas of emotional “blackmail” to make parents feel like they are depriving their children – you need to send them to playschool so that they can be creative and socialise or you need to work so that your children can have a quality, private education etc

    I think that the scariest place in terms of keeping children at a distance from their parents is in China, where in order to keep the educational and economic advantage so that China can compete with other world markets, they are now requiring that children start formal education at the age of 1 – can you believe it?

    Society needs to adjust its thinking to bring back what really matters in society – good relationships and support for parents to do their jobs without all the guilt and trappings of this modern age.

  26. As I stated above, I totally agree with this blog entry and as a new homeschooling mom I am encouraged by it!
    I am however, saddened by the tone of many of the comments. While the entry was very truthful & RESPECTFUL the tone of several of the comments is very disrespectful towards parents and educators that have chosen differently than us. Certainly there are bad apples out there, just like there are in the homeschool world, many parents who ultimately end up putting their children into school agonize over which school (and even classroom) to send them too and then go to great lengths to still be involved in their child’s education. They DO care deeply about their children and want what is best for them. Likewise, many professional educators and caregivers have a deep personal concern for their students welfare and give greatly of their own time and resources to help their students achieve not only in the classroom but in life as well.
    We do not know the hearts and mind of others, especially if we haven’t walked in their shoes. As believers we need to be careful to always speak the truth in LOVE!
    Thank you Amy for your Christ-like example of doing just that!

    • Thank you Jenn for your comments and I, as an educator,do believe that for now, this is God’s plan for my life. True that there are some who enter education as a “fall back” career, but there are others who have dedicated their most of their lives to teaching, educating, ministering, raising and being a Christ-like example for some of these children. I am not sure what generation you are in, but these children are facing so many new “wiles” and “spirits” that it does take all of the Holy Ghost to fight against the enemy in order to direct & save them. While I would also love and do want to be the only influence in my two son’s life, that is not available to me right now. There are two sides to the coin on this issue, but the main thing is that God gives us free will. If you chose to homeschool then so be it and if you choose to place your child in the education system or child care so be it…ultimately, you, the parent are still the best and most important influence in their life.

      • I am in my late 20’s, blessed wife and mother to four precious babes. As a child I attended public school, Christian school, missionary kid school, and homeschool.

  27. I may be called more of a radical, conservative freak for saying this but….I think it goes back even before school to the birth itself. So many of us hand the authority and decision making to the hospitals and doctors for the birth and health decisions of their children. Even if you have a baby in the hospital, educate yourself and take responsibility. I know there are emergency exceptions, but typically the parents just let the hospital policies dictate what happens with their child. OK, I’ll duck now from the rotten fruit being thrown at me. :) Lisa~

    • I agree Lisa! We shouldn’t be doormats about anything in life! Not at the grocery store, not listening to the radio, not reading books -and certainly not with our children! I do birth in a hospital, but I tell them how I want it done! I talk with my Dr. before each birth about what I want and she is so supportive and then I am NOT afraid to speak up and tell the nurses exactly what I want and don’t want once I am in labor -it’s great! For me it is the best of both worlds :)

  28. While I hear the heart of this article and the comments may I offer a bit of advice that I just learned the hard way? Dont post this on your facebook. I did and I hurt many of my friends. You might be very passionate about this topic, and with good reason, however when sharing we must follow the guidelines of Romans 14:19,
    Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

    It is perfectly fine for us to come to this blog to read the articles within, we are searching it out on purpose. But posting it on our fb or twitter invites our friends and loved ones to look at it when they are unaware of what they are about to read.
    Again, I am offering this suggestion because of the mistake I made and it hurt my heart when I realized that i was hurting others.

  29. Thank you for this excellent piece! It is something that I completely agree with….yet it is such a dicey and personal issue I have skirted around addressing it. No more. Courtesy of your excellent writing I will be initiating my own discussion on the topic of actually rearing your own children.

  30. Wonderful post Amy! As I was nursing my sweet baby today I was thinking about how much time these little ones require. Yes, time. Lots of time, but what a marvelous privilege and responsibility.

    I’m so thankful to be able to have this time to spend with my little ones. Thank you Lord for making me a mommy!

  31. I said something along these lines just last week, only not so eloquently. I believe the lack of respect, the entitlement, the consumerism, all of it can be traced to Mom giving up her job to others.

  32. Yes, we should be respectful, but there is a time to say, no, it’s not fine whatever you do. There are certain circumstances that make it near impossible for single mothers etc., to homeschool. It does not however change the simple truth that if you are sending your children to public school you are substituting your influence for the government’s.

  33. I totally agree with you. We have been brainwashed into believing that we are not capable of educating our own children. The government is proving right now that they are incapable of balancing a budget so I definitely want them in charge of teaching my kids math!!! They belong to the parents and therefore the decisions on their education/well-being also belongs to the parents. I am getting ready for #10 in about a week or so and homeschool #1-7, at least I try. My worst efforts are still better than what the public school has to offer!

    I hope you are feeling okay at 36 weeks. Here in Texas we are on Day 23 I believe of straight over 100 degree heat and I can tell you pregnancy is not a fun place to be!!!! I just need to hold on a little longer!!

  34. I don’t think it is as simple as you write. I applaud you wanting to care for your children exclusively, but what about those moms who MUST work to put food in the mouths of their children? I also think we are the blessed ones to live in a country where the government provides the freedom for us SAHM and homeschooling moms to CHOOSE to be home. So, let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

    And, coming from a long line of public school teachers…. I do not think that every single public school situation is a bad one, nor do I think we are bad mothers for putting our kids in a public school setting. I am only able to homeschool by the grace of God and the freedom my constitution allows.

    Berating our sisters who work is not all that helpful. Praying for them to find quality childcare or providing that quality child care would be a little more helpful.

    Because, but by the grace of God, go I.

    • I second Esther’s comment. And I further urge you to realize that just because you home school it doesn’t mean your children are “safe”. There a MANY influences in a child’s life outside of the public and private school classrooms that will ‘rock their cradle’. Personally, I learned more about sex from my church friends than I did my public school friends (and BEFORE my parents talked to me about it!).

      We have to be purposeful and diligent in every area of our parenting: at home, at church, in the neighborhood, at friends’ homes, etc.

      Never assume your children are safe, no matter where they are. Pray for them, teach them to be good and loving witnesses for Christ.

      And realize that we all have a God-given calling for which we must answer to Him, not each other. Mine is to be in our home, educating my children, making the most of our time with my husband. My best friend’s is to be in the public school where she has started an after-school Bible club and has been able to share the Gospel to hundreds of children in her neighborhood, and her 8 year old son has taken his devotional book to share Jesus with his friend during his free reading time in class–and then ended up giving his book to his friend to keep!

      Be where God calls you, and do your best job there! Judge yourself against Christ, not others.

    • I don’t think anyone is berating others. I do feel for the single mothers that cannot provide for their children,HOWEVER, the majority of women (the married ones) who say they HAVE to work HAVE to because of thier 300-500 dollar a month new car payment. Homeschooling entails, for some, a long line of choices some are not willing to make. Also, if there is a ‘good’ public school setting, it’s still not the same as ‘mom’. Homeschooling and public schooling are a touchy subject, but sometimes what we believe truly is best, no matter how we type it will offend, unfortunately.

  35. Amen, Amen, Amen! I could not agree more. And while I’m at it, I am so tired of hearing people talk of “sheltering” like it’s a bad thing! Um, yes, I am sheltering my children. It’s my job, as a mother, to shelter and protect, thankyouverymuch! :)

  36. Hello :-)
    WOW I just love this post! I had a bad eperience last year with my oldest son and my young daughter (Josh is turning 7, Imogen is turning 6) – at school it is apparently acceptable to teach about Halloween and also do classroom celebrations for it. I have taught my children that Halloween celebrates spirits, magic, evil (I was trying to put it into a context they could understand) and does not celebrate life, love and the Lord. Because it isn’t about good and about God, we do not celebrate Halloween and no, they wouldn’t be dressing up as a witch or anything like that and they were not going to the school Halloween disco either. Imogen came home two days later almost crying – “Mummy you lied to me!”
    I asked her what was wrong and how did I lie to her, I don’t tell lies…
    “I told my teacher that we don’t celebrate Halloween, she laughed and called me silly, she told me to get over it and it was just a bit of fun… it isn’t bad mama, it is fun – but you said we’re not allowed. Why can’t we have fun too?”
    Trying to keep their faith and lives in line with the Lord, especially in the public school system (I live in Australia) is very difficult. I started off this year homeschooling them, but due to my back injury I had to re-enrol them back into the school because I simply am unable to care for them, educated them full-time, keep house etc, the timing is just not right. It broke my heart but it is necessary at this point in time until I am better.

    Children are no longer the child of their parents, they are a child of the State (or nation etc) and because of not having obtained a university degree in Education, us parents are often made to feel as though we cannot teach our children effectively. No one knows my babies better than me, no one loves them and wants what is best for them more than I do (except the Lord). It really rubs me the wrong way when I receive notes from the teachers informing me that I must teach my child to read using their techniques instead of how I know they can learn best individually, I am expected to attend information sessions to teach me how to teach them to read, I am expected to support the teacher and the classroom and their ways of doing and learning… to me this is a total reversal! The teacher and classroom should be liasing with me to help support life at home and not the other way around.

    Okay, hopping off my soapbox now, and looking forward to the day I am able to bring my kiddies home :-)

    Warmest blessings,

  37. I wonder too not only at the quality of life these children will have but at the quality of life the parents will have when it is their turn to be elderly. Will their children care for them or will the grandparents be handed off to some institution in much the same way the children were?

    I have found parenting to be one of my hardest jobs. I have grown so much as an individual by taking on this job. Maybe the best and fairest leaders of the future will be the ones who parented their own children and grew into selfless people with some idea of discernment of good and evil.

    Or maybe we will be lead by people who are only out for themselves, willing to hand any responsibility over to someone else, and how will those people who didn’t gain wisdom through the school of hard knocks of parenting have the wisdom to discern who will harm them or help them?

    Ok, bit of a leap, and maybe not within my lifetime, but I am hoping that homeschooling becomes a generational habit in my family. I hope my grandchildren and great grandchildren will have involved parents and grow up to be wise and involved parents too. I think parenting will give them a maturity and wisdom that hardly any other venture can do.

    Best wishes
    Jen in Oz

  38. Just for the record I enjoyed your post. However I will have you know putting our children in Public school does not make us bad parents. I am a stay at home mom, who homeschooled our daughter until grade 3. She’s a social butterfly who was getting bored and giving me a hard time. She went into school in grade 3 she’s now in grade 10. Our relationship is better then ever. She’s had some amazing christian teachers. In grade 4 her teacher told them why we celebrate Christmas and Easter. Halloween as NEVER been celebrated in our schools, however they do have a Christmas program and yes it’s called a Christmas program!

    I truly respect those of you who chose to homeschool your children. I have several friends who do or who have done so. However, there are some of us who know our limitations – we know our children will be better served by their teacher than by ourselves. I consider myself a good mom. However I realized that I would never succeed in teaching my daughter and keeping my own sanity. So as you ask us not to judge you, please do not judge us!!!!

  39. I see that this is an old post, but I have to disagree here. There are situations and families where ward of states benefit. I agree it was ridiculous children’s services was called for breastfeeding a toddler. But my parents fostered (which is how they got my little brother and me). In my case parental rights were terminated after I came back from a weekend visit with hand shaped bruises and in tears. When asked what happened, I said, “Momma hit me and Daddy touched my privates.” A doctor exam confirmed my father had raped me. In my case, it was excellent children’s services were called. I was put into care when my parents were in homeless and caring for me on the streets. I was in a t-shirt, diaper hadn’t been changed for days in the dead of winter. My foster family has since adopted me.

    • Nicole. I agree with you that there are many social services that are doing amazing things for many children in exceptional situations. I have several friends who foster children in their homes but I think this is a different situation altogether. I think the point here is meant for those not in situations like yours, in most situations it is best for moms to be loving, educating, and developing character in the lives of their own children and not sending them off to government run institutions. It is also important for loving families to reach out and love children in need. So glad that you were rescued from that situation!!

  40. Amy, I LOVE this post. I totally agree. I think many people just do what is expected and don’t really question the norm. My parents pulled my brothers and I from a private Christian school in the 80s and began to homeschool us. So grateful for that intervention in my life and my mom doing the raising!!

  41. This is completely off topic and very late, but what is it about kids and dog crates? My little cousin used to go to my mom’s house and immediately crawl into the dog kennel (about half the size of the one pictured) and ask us to close and lock the door. We obviously never left her unattended, but she LOVED it. Crazy kids :)

  42. I have been following your website for a few months now, and this is the first time I have come across this particular post. This is a fantastic post. Very well put.
    I really enjoy reading your posts.

  43. I know that this is an older post but I just read it and I was struck deep by your words. This post could have been written just for me. I feel exactly this way and this is why I took my children out of public school against family wishes and am now homeschooling them. I just wish I had taken this route years before I put them in public school and let the government “raise” them. Thank You for saying what I feel.

  44. I apologize in advance if what I am about to write offends some. But I feel the desperate need to add some perspective from the other side. This post and the vast majority of the comments left here ring of a HIGHLY self-righteous and judgmental tone. I am a Christian myself, and the conversation I see happening here rings not of bringing glory and honor to the Lord, but to bringing glory and honor to the self. It paints with a very broad brush ANYONE who chooses differently than the author or the people who wrote supportive comments.
    Don’t you see that your attitudes here are at least a part of what drives women away from God and the church? You’re saying that for a woman to want ANYTHING other than to be a mother who spends every last waking moment with her children from the time they are born to the time they move out makes her a bad woman and a bad mother. And for a woman to do things any other way means that she cannot glorify God or raise good children. You may not have meant it this way, but that is certainly how it comes across.
    I am a nurse. I spend my days caring for those who need critical medical attention and care. According to the logic in this post, I should either quit my job or resolve myself to never have children only because I love my job and the care I can give to another person…sharing the love of God and participating in the service He calls me to. According to the logic in this post, I had my child to give myself a hobby and to cross that “item” off my bucket list. Wow…..just wow. I suppose I could accuse those who have baby after baby after baby of the same thing.
    And the way in which you all refer to educators and teachers….as “professionals,” with quotes to ensure that everyone will pick up on the demeaning and sarcastic tone. How dare you demean those who choose to spend their professional lives caring for the hearts and minds of children? Do you feel the same way about Sunday School teachers? About grandparents or aunts/uncles/family friends who who feel called to impart wisdom or education to your child?
    It is my opinion that, sometimes with homeschooling, children are isolated from anyone or anything that is different. They can grow up in a bubble of people who all believe only one way, so that by the time they reach the adult world, they are unprepared to face and handle the different belief systems that exist in our world and do not know how to find common ground with another person whose beliefs may be much different than theirs. I grew up in public schools with teachers who cared tremendously about me and with parents who talked to me daily about what I was learning and discussed with me anything that was not supported by God’s teaching. This experience armed me with the assurance that I DID believe what I believed, not because everyone else around me did, but because I had been tested, and I found it to be TRUE!
    I grew up with my parents both working full time, and I always knew that they loved me, and I never felt abandoned. As for me now, my 18 month old son goes to daycare on the 3 days per week that I work (which are 12-hour shifts, making me full-time). The other days, he is at home with me. He is learning a lot. Between his wonderful teachers at daycare and myself and my husband, he is very talkative, physically active and playful, social, smart and LOVED. When I drop him off in the morning, he hugs me, waves and says “bye bye” and runs off to play with his little friends.
    Could my husband and I make ends meet financially without me working? Yes; it would be tight, but we could do it. I don’t work only for money, though. I work because it fulfills God’s calling in MY life, to the service to which he has called me. I work because I can save enough money for my husband and I to be able to take vacations with our son one day so that he can encounter enough “different” stuff that his life will be enriched and he will know without a doubt that God is alive and well and working in the lives and hearts of people across this entire world, not in just his little bubble at home. I also fulfilled God’s calling in my life to be a mom…to give life to a beautiful child who I will do my absolute best to fill with the knowledge and truth of his Savior and Lord.
    I truly wish I had never clicked the link to this post….it has made me sad, mad and overall discouraged that there are still so many Christian women who refuse to support one another in how God has called each of us individually to be a living example of His love and grace and compassion. I apologize if my writing here has been offensive, but I felt the need to “stick up” for the hoards of Christian women who I know feel demeaned by the attitudes expressed here.

    • I didn’t read any comments but yours as it was the most recent, but I agree with you. I don’t however think you completely understood the intention of the author’s words, or at least how I chose to take them. It isn’t ‘wrong’ to work outside the home, it isn’t ‘wrong’ to send you child to daycare or public school. What’s ‘wrong’ is when you bring a child into this world only to leave their upbringing in someone else’s hands, using school as a babysitter so that you can pursue your own desires versus meeting the needs of your family. I have known mothers who worked outside the home, had children in public schools and have absolutely fabulous families. The reason being because even though they had other calling’s in life, yours being a nurse, their first and foremost priority was being a wife and mother. They may not have been present for their child’s every waking hour, but they still had a tight grip on the cradle. I don’t believe the author’s intent was to slam working mothers or those who choose to public school. I believe she was stating the necessity of maintaining responsibility and involvement in your child’s life versus being nonchalant and indifferent as to who else may be doing so. Unfortunately, unlike yourself, I have met many more parents who consider children a to-do list than I have parents who see their little ones for the treasure that they are and treat and raise them as such. I applaud you in your following the LORD’s leading in your life, whether it be as mother to your son or as a light to an ailing stranger. Always remember, the man you married and the life the two of you created together, that is your highest of callings. God bless and may you maintain a firm grip on the cradle!

  45. Love it! That last line echos my thoughts exactly. I am not anti-public school (well, not in an in your face sort of way) however, I have always thought, “They’re my children, my God-given responsibility, why in the world should someone else have them for 8 hours a day???”

  46. I homeschooled my son for 3 years and just recently put him in public school which way one of the hardest decisions I have made. He has PDD and while he was learning well academically, our relationship was getting worse by the day. Anyone who has had a child with special needs can tell you that it is mentally draining but add to this I have a husband who works away from home 5 days a week (meaning I am alone for 5 days and 4 nights of the week), I was beyond spent. All my energy was going to my son and the minimum to my younger 2. So, while I am physically able to keep my son home and school him, (call me weak if you must) I needed some help to make sure all 3 were getting the best of me not just a stressed and exhausted mama. Not to mention I was so spent by the time my husband got home, all I wanted to do was hand him the reins and say “take over!”. Not really the best welcome home for someone who works so hard to provide for us!

    Yes, I agree with the general statement and I am sure it was meant to be convicting to those who abuse the gift of parenthood. But… I hope you do not feel the right to condemn those who choose to use public school responsibly. I follow your blog a lot and respect your advice on so many things, but this post stung a bit. I could just as easily say I am a better woman/mother because I had my kids at home without drugs! (NOT that that is true at all, you get my point.) Just, maybe keep the moms with other circumstances than your own in mind when you write something with that much judgement and conviction. And, only the Lord knows peoples true hearts despite what ever your human eyes see.