I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of Natasha’s series on Parenting by The Book. In this post, she encourages us to teach by example. Something I am sure every mother struggles with!
PART 2
As I stand peeling potatoes, my peaceful thoughts are interrupted by screaming in the next room.
“You’re ugly”
“Well, you’re uglier, and I’m never going to play with you again.”
I quickly rinse my hands and put on my referee shirt. Standing between the two opposing parties, I try to get to the bottom of the situation. However, I’m irritated. I’ve been forced to stop what I’m doing. The children are being irrational, and it is taking too long to establish peace. Suddenly, I’m yelling too,
“You kids never think about the other person. It’s all about you. Won’t you ever learn to treat each other kindly? Yelling and screaming is no way to…….”
I gulp and shut my mouth. The children look at me with huge eyes as I realize I’m acting just like them. I’m certainly not being an example of what I was saying.
Teaching through example
Parenting involves much more then telling my children all the right things. In the previous segment the various ways of teaching children with words were discussed. However, all the words in the world will mean nothing if what I do is not consistent with what I say.
The second primary way I teach our children is through my example. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says,
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
These verses not only emphasize that we must teach through our words, but they also imply a lifestyle.
*A Holy Life. I must live in a manner that is true to God. “When you sit at home,” “when you lie down,” and “when you walk along the road” are phrases that show a lifestyle that is being lived out in front of our children. Children will see right through me teaching one thing and living another. However, I will not be perfect, and part of teaching my children is being willing to apologize to them when I mess up.
For a long time I had a Bible verse posted in our bathroom. It was from Proverbs 10:19a and said, “When words are many, sin is not absent.” One day I lost my cool with one of my boys and was in the middle of chewing him out royal when I saw this light bulb come on in his eyes. He said excitedly, “Mom, now I know why you have that verse in the bathroom.” That was a humbling moment. I had posted the verse for my children.
Living a holy life is the hardest part of parenting for me. Many are the days that I fall short. I have found that I lack patience. I am selfish and prideful. Sometimes I think the children bring out the worst in me. In reality, God is using them to show me who I truly am, and he is using them to refine my character. I tend to want to rely on my own strength, but then I fail miserably. It is only Christ in me that makes a holy life possible, and I must stay on my knees seeking his strength and guidance.
*A life in service to God. I must serve the Lord and bring my children along with me. €œWhen you walk along the road€ assumes that my children will accompany me in my daily tasks. I must not be afraid to take them with me to the nursing home. I should have them help me fix a meal for someone who is sick. Our family can sacrifice together to send money to missionaries. Several years ago we ate soup, which is not a favorite of the children, for one meal a week. The money we saved on groceries, we sent to a ministry sending blankets to the needy in Sudan.
This spring our oldest son had the opportunity to go to Mexico with his dad on a mission trip. I admit this was hard for me to allow due to the violence Mexico was experiencing. I had to examine my heart. I realized that I would be contradicting everything we had taught about sacrificing and trusting the Lord, if we did not allow him this opportunity.
*A home that glorifies God. The words from Deut. 6 that say “write them on your doorframe” and “tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” make me think of the way I decorate my home and about the things that surround my family. I like to post Scriptures on the walls or have Christian music playing. Even the art work on the wall sends messages to my children. My home reflects who I am on the inside.
The entertainment that we surround ourselves with in our home is also a part of example. My dad always said, “If it’s not good enough for the children to see, then it’s not good enough for the adults to see.” Television and electronic games need to come under the scrutiny of Philippians 4:8 which says,
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”
The example I set in my life and in my home is crucial if my words are to have any effect. I want to be able to say to my children as Paul said to the Corinthians in I Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
In II Timothy 1:5 Paul speaks of seeing the faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother in his life. My greatest joy would be if someday someone could say to my children, “I see the faith of your parents and grandparents in your life.”
For the past three years my parents have been spreading the good news to students in a country closed to missionaries. One of my sons at the age of twelve wants to carry on that legacy. He’s already begun learning the language. Our children have the capacity to do great things for God if we give them a godly example to follow.
*All Scripture quoted from the NIV version of the Bible.
Natasha is a pastor’s wife and the homeschooling mother of seven children. You can find encouragement for mothers from Natasha on her blog Devoted. You can also read of her adoption journey at Mother of Seven.
Angela says
Another great post! I was just reflecting on some of these points myself!
In Christ,
Angela
Corine says
Example is SO IMPORTANT! Thank you for this honest and insightful post!
Corine 😀
Renata says
Once again so wise – thankyou for sharing.
Renata:)
Gaby says
I really enjoyed this post. I’m a PK (pastor’s kid) from a family of 7 kids as well. I think my mom had similar experiences to the ones you shared in this post. It is neat to hear it from ‘her’ perspective.
I never thought of “a home that glorifies God”. If someone walked into our home, they would see that we love movies. But they would not see that I love God. Hmm.
Natasha Miller says
Gaby,
In studying Jewish culture and the Bible, it seems that they surround themselves with many visual reminders of what God had done for them. For instance, after crossing the Jordan they set up twelve stones to remind them of God’s faithfulness. My thought here is that our house should have visual reminders of God throughout it. I’m constantly re-evaluating what my home is filled with and what it reflects about my life. So cool, that you are one of seven kids of a pastor’s family.
Brandy says
So true. Thank you for sharing!!