This past weekend I was at a fair with my family. A Raising Arrows reader came up to me to introduce herself and her lovely family.
And I was wearing pants.
Capris, to be exact.
That’s right, the She Wears Skirts gal was NOT in a skirt!
Shortly after doing that series I got a lot of questions as to whether I would now be wearing skirts all the time. So, I thought I would just answer that question here since I’m sure there are others wondering the same thing.
I do not wear skirts ALL the time. I wear skirts probably 90% of the time and I typically wear a skirt when we are out and about.
In fact, my husband and I went to the fair the day before and I was in a skirt.
For a moment in time, I wondered if that reader who so blessed my day was somehow disappointed in me…the real me…the me who doesn’t ALWAYS wear a skirt.
But then I recalled a conversation I had with a woman from a church we attended years ago. She came to my house on a weekday…in jeans. And she apologized profusely for being in jeans. She was working with her husband, a carpenter, that day and she kept saying how she rarely wears jeans as if I might be disappointed in her for not wearing a skirt even while working alongside her husband on a rooftop.
Perhaps she thought I always wore skirts since we only saw each other at church or perhaps she felt self-conscience and was just trying to make herself feel better. No matter what the reason, I wanted to tell her I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to judge her for it because I couldn’t possibly live up to the standard I would be setting.
Do I think skirts are a great way to revel in my femininity? Absolutely.
Do I think you should wear a skirt every single moment of every single day? No.
Your husband and God are your guidance, not me.
And I will not judge you if I see you in pants.
And I will try not to worry that you are disappointed in me if you see me in pants.
Wow!! I never thought skirts/pants could be such a deal! As Amy D said, I too was a tomboy… (thanks to those awesome 3 brothers I spent my childhood building war zones with) and I ALWAYS wore pants… I actually thought I hated skirts and would NEVER wear one. Then I bought this skirt recently, and I fell absolutely in love with it! I do wear pants 99% of the time though, and especially shorts (some of them very short). I used to laugh (sadly) at Muslim women who cover themselves on the beach while all the “open minded” Christian women were in their bikinis… (I am a Lebanese Christian, moved 4 years ago with my family to Canada).. I used to mock them thinking they are backwards thinking. Then suddenly, just out of nowhere, I too began feeling very uncomfortable in bikins and the normal swimsuits… especially around my father and brothers. Something felt terribly bad. I felt naked and exposed in front of my male family members. So,(all this has been happening in the last year)all of last summer, my time in the pool was spent in a shirt and shorts. I noticed how more comfortable I am, since my little brother’s friend comes over to swim with him, and I babysit them, and then when her father comes to pick her up, I no longer feel the urge to run and hide myself. Anyway, so I know I love skirts now, but am having a hard time getting rid of pants and especially those very immodest shorts. I also ordered a veil for Mass, but that is a HUGE step, I just ordered it to have it, but i don’t think I will start using it anytime soon. Anyway, please pray for me and this small “conversion” I am going through.
Love,
Malakh
I wore skirts when I went to a private elementary school when I was little. I seriously resented the fact that I had to wear skirts while playing on the jungle gym, and though I was wearing shorts underneath them, it still felt like I was at some type of peep show. I remember thinking why do they even let us go on the jungle gym at all in a dress OR why don’t we just wear shorts on the playground so it doesn’t feel like if the boys glance up it’s so illicit? I felt self conscious on all the playground equipment because of that. Then one day I went down the slide and my dress hem got stuck at the top as I went down. I was stuck hanging halfway down the slide with my hem up at the top! Right at that moment, I felt myself get this pain in my chest that made me not be able to breathe and I couldn’t pull myself back up the slide no matter how hard I tried! I had to call attention to myself to get someone to go get the teacher to help me.
To this day, I prefer pants, and luckily I lived in south FL where everyone wears pants including 99% of Christians. Even in my (awesome) traditional, fundamental church, no one wore ONLY skirts. Then 3 years ago we moved to a colder state. Now I (have to) wear skirts to church even on nights when it is 20 degree weather! I could probably phrase that better, but the few people in our church who wear only skirts have reasons that seem illogical to us, and I really just feel it is a cultural thing for many people here, or it is because the husband wants it to show that he’s a man and she’s a woman (and the wife doesn’t prefer skirts but wears them out of respect for his wishes) which seems to be the reasoning for two couples of the three we know. Our pastor recently asked that I wear only skirts since my husband is in charge of a kids program in the church. The pastor’s wife is one of the few in the church who only wears skirts, and it seems to be his conviction and not hers. I know I am to submit to the pastor, and I have been, but I really have a hard time practicing his conviction especially when it is so cold at night when I go to church. We are very conservative in every way and much more so than most people in our church here, so this has been a real puzzler. I usually wear double pants every day and definitely at night if I have to go out! I feel much more comfortable in pants, and I wish this issue would go away.
The only advice I have is to go to your husband over this matter. HE is the head of your household. I imagine he will have better answers than I can give. It might be that the two of you need to go to the pastor together and discuss this.
I’ve read several posts in this series. I grew up in a church that was extremely legalistic. We could not ever wear pants, makeup et. The skirts had to be ankle length and many young people and older women wore their clothes as tight as possible even if their skirts were dragging on the ground. I hated it. As an adult, I later left that church due to employment which caused me to move away. I did not leave God. I joined a church where the rules weren’t so rediculous. I found out that it didn’t matter if you wore skirts daily or if you did. What matters is your motive and your heart. The heart is always the issue. Now, did I ban skirts entirely in my wardrobe? Certainly not. My five year old asked me why I never wear dresses. He noticed! So, I had to pay closer attention. For me as a busy mom and wife, pants became more comfortable and easier to move around in. I appreciate this series, especially the youtube video from Jimmies Collage mentioned in the series. I have never heard the case for modest dress explained in that manner. Thanks.
Okay, wow. Thank you for this series. It’s extremely thought-provoking, and forcing me to rethink my decisions about my clothing.
I’m a 14 year old growing up surrounded by the typical teenage worldview. My parents are very conservative, and homeschools me and my five siblings, but it’s inevitable that I become exposed to at least some of the “fashion do’s and don’t's” and “you should weigh this”.
Since I was 12, I’ve struggled with what a godly woman should wear. Are my jeans, shorts, and blouses glorifying Christ? Is a bathing suit okay to wear in public, even if it’s a modest one-piece?
I often thought about long skirts and dresses. Would they, perhaps, please Christ better than jeans and t-shirts? Until this series, I was having trouble finding verses to support my beliefs, and, as such, generally ignored the nagging in my mind.
I’m going to be doing some serious thinking and research about this. My mother hasn’t ever been very concerned about her clothing, but I think sometimes I’m even more conservative than her.
My top concern, despite how much I despise it, is what my peers will say. I can hear the mocking, teasing, and rude questions in my youth group and co-op now! And what will my not-so-conservative extended family think? What will they say when I sit out at the water park we go to for church camp each year, because I’m not comftorable wearing a bathing suit?
Do you think it’s odd that I, a teenage girl, can think so differently than her peers and even family?
Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you. I guess the words above were pretty much me just ranting and thinking out loud!
Thank you again!
~Stephanie
OH MY GOSH .. I’m a 14 year old too ! lol well I only wear skirts and my friends are pretty cool with it… it used to be awkward for me b4 because I only wore long skirts down to my feet because I was too afraid to ask my mom to wear shorter ones. but now I have a variety.. maybe if u feel skirts are your choice you can do that… get a variation of skirts.. long, short (not too short), flowy, straight, etc. and dresses aren’t so bad either
Thank you for this post. I love wearing skirts/dresses, too, but most of the time I don’t. Thank you for a non-condemning post. It is very good to encourage one another, as women, to look feminine whenever possible (and that can be done in slacks/pants, too).