This past weekend I was at a fair with my family. A Raising Arrows reader came up to me to introduce herself and her lovely family.
And I was wearing pants.
Capris, to be exact.
That’s right, the She Wears Skirts gal was NOT in a skirt!
Shortly after doing that series I got a lot of questions as to whether I would now be wearing skirts all the time. So, I thought I would just answer that question here since I’m sure there are others wondering the same thing.
I do not wear skirts ALL the time. I wear skirts probably 90% of the time and I typically wear a skirt when we are out and about.
In fact, my husband and I went to the fair the day before and I was in a skirt.
For a moment in time, I wondered if that reader who so blessed my day was somehow disappointed in me…the real me…the me who doesn’t ALWAYS wear a skirt.
But then I recalled a conversation I had with a woman from a church we attended years ago. She came to my house on a weekday…in jeans. And she apologized profusely for being in jeans. She was working with her husband, a carpenter, that day and she kept saying how she rarely wears jeans as if I might be disappointed in her for not wearing a skirt even while working alongside her husband on a rooftop.
Perhaps she thought I always wore skirts since we only saw each other at church or perhaps she felt self-conscience and was just trying to make herself feel better. No matter what the reason, I wanted to tell her I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to judge her for it because I couldn’t possibly live up to the standard I would be setting.
Do I think skirts are a great way to revel in my femininity? Absolutely.
Do I think you should wear a skirt every single moment of every single day? No.
Your husband and God are your guidance, not me.
And I will not judge you if I see you in pants.
And I will try not to worry that you are disappointed in me if you see me in pants.
Clara says
I’m with you all the way, Amy – while I LOVE skirts and love the femininity of them, I do not wear skirts ALL the time. I would not judge, and I hope I would not be judged, either. 🙂
Ginger says
Agreed. I love wearing skirts and wear them most of the time, but there are times when wearing a skirt is decidedly not modest- like when I’m climbing up in the attic. I don’t have a pair of cute bloomers underneath my skirts (for shame!)
My oldest daughter had heard the verse about women not dressing like men and was told it meant that it’s an abomination for women to wear pants. She was horrified and felt so guilty for the times she’d worn a long shirt over a pair of capris. Hubby pointed out to her that in Bible times men and women were wearing skirts. Jesus never wore pants. lol
Terry says
I think every lady needs to take this to the Lord, and get it right, we need stop making up reason to do what we want to do, What part do you not understand,Please Read the whole Bible, The Men did wear Breeches under their robes,Then do your homework on history,Does your husband or son wear a dress or skirts, and if they did what would they be, Then why is it ok for a girl to wear pants, because we make up reasons, And we think because they are made for woman it’s ok, Do your homework on who makes the pants for women, You can do anything in a skirt or dress,
if you had to, but it’s because we don’t want to. Do you really know what GOD is talking about in Deuteronomy 22:5, This is abomination unto the Lord thy GOD, I think I would do alot more praying about this, God wants woman to look like woman, and men to look like men, In todays world you can not tell them apart,And how long has woman been wearing pants? Do you really know.If they made a dress or skirt for your husband or son would they wear it? Because it was made for men.Lady’s for so long we make up reasons for what we think is ok or right, I did the same, until I took this to the LORD and he open my eyes, so pray let the LORD show you, What if you are wrong, do you know what it says in Revelation about abomination? It’s not about what we want or like, It’s about what GOD wants.
Head Ant says
I wore uniform skirts for all of my school days. I would always wear shorts with them and have a hard time not wearing shorts under them. Pants just feel more modest to me because of that.
Not that I don’t love skirts!
Vicki says
Way to go Amy. God is more concerned with the attitude of our hearts not whats on our backsides!
1 Peter 3
In the same way, you wives, (B)be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be (C)won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and [a]respectful behavior. 3 (D)Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be (E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
Caroline says
I love this Amy!
Melisssa Howard says
Fabulous…
Erica says
Refreshing, honest, real! I agree!
Stephanie says
🙂 I find myself apologizing often right now. More so because I am in my “house building “clothes. clothes that are stained and may have a hole here and there. But that’s what season we are in. I try not to go OUT in them, like the store, but sometimes that isn’t possible 🙁 But that doesn’t mean my heart looks the same. Well maybe sometimes it does (wink) but you know what I mean. Soon I will be able to open my front door and welcome ppl into the house, while wearing something nice! 🙂
abba12 says
I’m one who believes in skirts full time, but having said that, I only took the plunge to throw out my old pants two months ago! I kept two pairs of tracksuit pants/yoga pants? to wear under skirts or even on their own around the house on very cold days, And I have plenty of tights and things to wear underneath instead of pants. I also recently saw the cutest pattern ever for a jumpsuit I can’t wait to make for my daughter, a jumpsuit which, while undoubtedly feminine, has pants, because sometimes little girls need pants in certain activities to remain modest until they’re old enough to attend to such things themselves. So even someone convicted on full time skirts has certain situations where pants are worn.
There’s no sense getting legalistic. I personally am comfortable and confident to wear a skirt while working alongside my husband, but someone who has only seen skirts worn in formal and casual situations would struggle with the idea, as I did when I first began. I have skirts that are made of hardy material or that I don’t mind getting ruined, others do not because such skirts can be very hard to find, given the fashion mindset that skirts are casual/formal wear. And while I’m fortunate enough to be able to wear any style skirt so I can choose to suit the work it must do, not everyone can wear every style, and I would not consider a slim skirt modest while, say, rock climbing, nor would I consider a very light, full skirt modest on a windy day.
There is an ideal perhaps. But we live in a fallen world, and people seem to forget that when reaching for the ideal. I don’t judge anyone for wearing pants instead of a skirt.
Paula says
Great post, Amy, and my thoughts exactly!!! 🙂
Renee says
Amen!
I too wear skirts and dresses most of the time, but certain thing are more modest and comfortable to do in pants.
A flowing long skirt on a windy day, me pulling weeds in a garden, do I need to explain that my choice of clothes were not the best for that day hehe!!!
And seriously why do we judge our sisters and ourself so severely on our clothing choices.
Pant or skirt, does not makes us better Christian right!
Shari Johnson says
Loved your post! I love lookin’ like a lady, but I don’t wear skirts all the time either. I value the feminine side of life and encourage girls to grow into young ladies, but I too believe that what you wear is between you and God. I once visited a church in a large city that was known as “The church where women wear dresses.” They were not known for their kindness or love of Christ or any other Spiritual notion. “Once” is the key word in that sentence. I love looking and feeling like a lady, but I want those who meet me to first meet Christ and then me. Be it in a dress or pants. Love your thought today!
Christie says
You know I LOVE skirts, but there are times when they just are not practical or even wise. I was particularly struck by that a few months ago while being in the TX brush. My little girl and I wear skirts most of the time, but when we were dealing with thorns, mesquite trees, poisonous spiders, snakes, and scorpions we were all in heavy jeans and high topped leather cowboy boots for simple skin protection.
God wants us to be ladies, and that can include a wide variety of modest clothing.
Cindy says
LOL! I love wearing skirts, but most of the time, I’m in jeans because most of the time, I’m doing things that skirts just weren’t built for. That, and it’s pretty recent that I started caring for skirts at all, and I don’t have enough to wear every day. I’m glad you’re not expecting us to climb up on roofs in skirts! That would be decidedly unladylike, I think. ;0)
Cathy says
It’s good you are not judging; I hate when this subject gets legalistic. Personally, I’ve tried to get into wearing skirts, but I can’t get used to air circulating underneath. Even with shorts, the feeling of air and the leg exposure (from natural movements, stairs, wind) with even ankle-length skirts is greater than with pants… so it seems less rather than more modest. And I still struggle with what to put on my feet :/ Socks? Hose?? What??? It’s too complicated for me at 5am, lol. I have to say, however, that when I DO wear a skirt, I receive compliments all day long 🙂
Angie @ Crazy Country Momma says
I agree! I was a little of a tom boy growing up, and skirts have helped me become more feminine. My husband likes me to wear skirts, but specifically told me that he doesn’t want me to wear them exclusively. I think we should appear feminine always, but that is not impossible in pants!
Jessica says
I’m with you! I wear skirts most of the time, but not 100%. I wear pants when I play the organ or ride a bike, for example. Its turn cold here already (MN) and I’ve worn capris the last few days because my Cuddle Duds won’t fit over my pregnant tummy to keep my legs warm under my skirts.
Sherri says
Love your answer Amy! And it’s just what I was HOPING you would say!! 😉 Ha ha!
I’m not sure that pants were ever flattering to my figure… but they DEFINITELY are not flattering anymore! LOL I feel most comfortable out & about when I feel like I look nice & for me, after my last 2 babies, I have come to realize that skirts are just WAY more flattering on me… the way they fall or lay over some of my not so attractive areas.
But at the same time, there are just some things that need to be done around here & wearing a skirt can inhibit doing it well… and that’s where my 1 pair of functional but ugly jeans come in! LOL
Tami says
I like wearing skirts/dresses too. I just recently began wearing capris and although they and I felt comfortable, I was extremely convicted if I seen someone from my church circle. WHY..???? I just was.
I have made a SERIOUS note also that when I am in a dress/skirt I am softer spoken, slow to anger, and …slower to jump over the couch to catch the dust bunny. When I wear pants I feel equal to my husband..and have even gotten a bit mouthy if ya will.
I think FOR me I need to return to dresses….and I love the Amish bonnet idea, I think it helps them look forward and not at sides where people are mocking them.
Tami says
??? as a plus size ANGEL..what do most of you wear UNDER your skirts in the winter..?
Amy says
Reference the Underthings post in the She Wears Skirts series. 🙂
angie bodnar says
Good words. Im in the same boat. But ppl who judge me do not really know me. My walk with God is more than just my skirt. He is in my heart and guides my steps daily. To Him and my husband I answer too. Nice to know there are others that who do the same. Have a blessed day!
Katie says
I don’t judge others for wearing pants at all (I‘ve been the one the being judged before and it wasn‘t a good feeling), I used to keep a pair of old jeans around just in case, but they don’t fit me anymore so I threw them out. Normally I’m always in a skirt or a dress with cotton pettipants ( bought from amazon) underneath or if it’s really cold tights or yoga pants. The only exception is I own two pairs of culottes, one pair from Dressing for His Glory and another pair from Modest Apparel USA (I also have the exercise skirt from Modest Apparel USA which I love btw!). I’ve found that I’ve been able to do any activity in a skirt or dress as long as it’s the right skirt or dress or culottes, but before I had my wardrobe of skirts built up I couldn’t say that. Of course I don’t find rides at the fair (I’m afraid of heights) but I can see why capris would come in handy. I probably still would have jeans and capris laying around, but they simply no longer fit me, and I haven’t bought anymore.
Amy D says
I wear work out type capris & knee high socks under my skirts in the winter and honestly I am warmer than I have been in the past with just jeans/pants. For me, things changed when my dad passed away. I was four hours away from my husband for 4 months. During that time my husband starting reading the Bible more and found a pastor’s podcast who isn’t afraid to say it like it is. My daughters (8 & almost 2) and I wear skirts 100% of the time in public and when the majority of company is over. A couple girl friends will see me in capri’s or pj pants around my house but I throw a skirt on to answer the door, take the garbage out, etc. My girls wear leggings/stretchy type pants under their skirts and so far haven’t been restricted in anything they do (biking riding, playing sports, etc) Dressing modestly doesn’t just apply to the girls, pants are preferred for the boys but shorts go past the knee and no tank tops. Swimsuits are a swim shirt for all and skirts for the girls. I don’t let them walk around in their underwear so I am not going to let them swim in them either.
I don’t feel like my opinion should matter to anyone. I don’t know anyone else who personally chooses to wear skirts 100% of the time (in public) I have friends that understand my decision though. I don’t look down on or think any less of anyone who doesn’t make this same decision. (So please don’t bash me, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have been able to make it work in our home) As with everything else, it is between you & God and your husband.
Amy says
No bashing here. 🙂 I would have preferred to wear a skirt that day, but there were many extenuating circumstances that didn’t allow for it.
Blessings,
Amy
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
This particular issue isn’t one I’m dealing with — skirts — but there’s something in here that I am.
I blog mostly about real food. But occasionally we buy treats and things that are “not so real food.” I’ve had a couple of my readers recognize me in public and introduce themselves. Once in a health food store when I happened to be buying organic produce. But what if I’d been buying, say, cookies? None of us are perfect or do the right thing or the things we blog about 100% of the time. You know? And it’s so hard sometimes because they see the best of you, the parts you’re good at (because that’s what you blog about most of the time) and they “know” you well…whereas you probably don’t “know” them at all. I love to meet readers but it can be weird, and hard to “live up to” your online persona! (I’m super outgoing and articulate online but tend to be shy and awkward in public, I never know what to say and I think come off as weird or insincere when I don’t intend to be. Another struggle.)
All that to say…I can relate to that aspect. 🙂
Amy says
Agreed, Kate. It is happening more and more and especially at homeschooling conferences. I often wonder what people’s perceptions of me, knowing I could never, ever live up to them!
leah bush says
I agree. I LOVE wearing skirts and feel more feminine and submissive when in a skirt but there are times when it is just easier to wear a pair of jeans. As long as your husband is ok with it and you are not wearing them to get attention from other men then i think it is ok. I wore capris today for my physical therapy and to run errands afterward. I dont think i could have been modest at all in a skirt at the PT appt lol
Rebecca says
No judging here either. I have kept several pairs of jeans and I am not sure I will wear them or not. I am enjoying exclusive skirts but it’s still pretty warm here. I freeze when it hits below 70 so I don’t know what I’ll do when we start having fall. I have bought a pettipant and some Cuddleduds but sometimes, jeans just are easier…we’ll see. BUT if I saw you out in a tube top…….lol!
Amy says
LOL – THAT, my friend, will NEVER happen! 😉
Jill Jones says
I was so glad to read that someone posted the scripture in 1 Peter 3 about adorning yourself and it all being a matter of the heart. I believe that if you feel convicted and skirts are what you think you should be wearing then you should, but if you are not that you shouldn’t feel like you must do that. There are many things in the Bible that are very black and white-what do to and not do type of list and I don’t think there is any room to bend on these issues but too many times I see Christianity put into boxes and these rules that man has made up not GOD-if you do this, then this will make you a better Christian and if not you are fallen-and this drives me crazy because it pulls so many people away from ever having a relationship with Christ.
No where does it say that in order to be a godly women you must have on a skirt 24/7 or you will not be saved and get into heaven.
I think we really need to be so careful about becoming legalistic like those in the old testament-they followed all these “rules” but didn’t have a clue of the only thing required to get into heaven was not all that they were trying to do but HAVING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. We can make up rules or follow other rules all we want but it isn’t going to get us to heaven and maybe not even make us a better Christian.
Our hearts and what dwells on the inside and what we do with that is so much more important than anything we could be wearing on the outside.
The cover of a book, even if it is beautiful on the outside, can be hold nothing but junk in it’s pages. I just worry when I hear people getting caught up in the rules they think they and others should follow, some day I think we will be surprised when we stand before Jesus and see many there or not there with Him that we thought did or didn’t follow the rules.
I think that dressing modestly and not trying to attract attention you shouldn’t be trying to get is more important than if you have on a skirt or pants.
Just my opinion-and I am more comfortable and feel more lady like in skirts but I don not wear them 24/7 and neither do my girls-I just feel there are some things that are done much more modestly in pants and living where it has been 115 or higher all summer-leggings or tights or pants under skirts wasn’t an option.
Thanks for letting me vent-I just hate to see something a simple as a skirt stand in the way of someone coming to know Christ. I think Jesus would agree on that too.
Fruitful Harvest says
Hi Amy,
Great post! I too wear skirts most of the time.
(about 98%) I wore them all the month of May and them slacked off (pun intended)lol
I finally got rid of most of my pants and bought a ton of skirts to make it easy.
I also head cover while at Mass but that is another story.
My wearing a skirt does not make me “more holy”
but it is a personal thing that draws me nearer to God. My occational wearing of pants or if one is always in pants it does not make me or them less holy.
Peace in Christ,
Georgiann
Fruitful Harvest says
I forgot to say~
I don’t wear a skirt to impress others and don’t care if they “think” poorly of me for not wearing a skirt on any given day.
I only answer to my Lord!
You are great Amy! Don’t worry about what others think. (I know the human in us does)
We all want others to like us.
I like you in pants or a skirt!
I think you are awesome! 🙂
Amy says
Hee hee…I think you are pretty awesome too, Georgiann! 🙂
Jenny says
I don’t think I’ve ever worn a skirt. I’ve tried them on, but I just never found one that felt right. Plus then there’s the whole shoe thing. I have sneakers and sneakers and skirts isn’t cool. LOL!
Heather says
I wear sneakers with my skirts! They actually look better than other shoes with some of them! It just depends on the outfit 😀
Jennifer says
Love this! Your OWN husband! I recently became very close with a girl who wears skirts ALL the time, and was very surprised to find not only does she not judge me, a shorts wearer, but usually is the one to get the dirty looks/stares. She said she is under no hallucination that it’s the best or easiest choice, but feels convicted by God and is supported by her church and husband. I really respect her for that. I’ve also found from her some DARLING old navy foldover knit skirts that I’m thinking I could pull off. 🙂
mosey says
I think this is perfect, there are simply some situations where it is more modest to wear pants, especially here in the spring, it gets so windy that your skirt would flip right over your head! As long as your heart is stayed on God’s Word and on your husbands wishes that is what matters. Modesty isn’t about your outfit for the day but a heart of purity. (this is all said from a girl who wears skirts 90% of the time)
Cheryn says
My favourite line in this blog post is ‘God and your husband are you guide, not me.’ I have to remember so much to listen to my husband, as his guidance is invaluable. I am not a ‘skirt-wearer,’ though I do love to wear skirts, but I am very modest, and I think the thing my husband wants most is for me not to be so stressed out about it. To relax, and feel comfortable, and never to condemn others for not being as modest as me… they may not have the same convictions or beliefs. Excellent post 🙂
Peggy says
I wear skirts year round and we live in the upper midwest. Winters can get very cold. I wear knee high socks during the winter and no socks during the summer. I wear a cotton culotte slip underneath my skirts year round. It prevents chaffing during the summer and keeps me warmer during the winter. My first pair was basically two long silky slips that I bought from Walmart. I laid them flat and cut a crotch into both of them. Then I sewed them like the were pants and added an elastic waist. It worked fabulously! When that pair had seen the end of its days, I cut it open and used it as a pattern to make another. The only place I think I would prefer pants is hiking in the woods. The thought of ticks getting to my legs leaves me very wary of entering the woods without the proper attire. 🙂
Amy says
That is a great idea, Peggy! Thanks so much for sharing!
deborah says
Awesome post! I needed this. I was raised in a plain church group and many of them can be very judgmental. I grew up wearing dresses and I like skirts and dresses. However, I think there are times capris would be great, but I struggle with this because of the judgmental church group I grew up around. We all have our story… Legalism and jugment of others is sin. Period. Thanks for the great post.
Susan says
I was happy to hear so many women say that they do not wear skirts ALL the time. I have done extensive research (looking in the the Greek and Hebrew) on the subject and may husband and I have prayed about it… a lot! Basically, I have come to understand that it is not about what we wear it is about following God’s will for our lives. It is about our heart and what we have done for the cause of Christ. So often these days we get caught up in the little thing that do not matter.
As Christians today we tend to get into our little “cliques” (those who only wear skirts, those who wear pants, different religions, those who believe KJV only- I am not trying to start any debates, please). We need to support other daughters of Christ. We need to uplift each other. When I have been out I have been on the receiving end of that side glance, whether I have been in a skirt (given from those in pants) or in pants (given from those in skirts). We need to stop judging and start loving.
Thank you so much Amy!
(I hope I did not say anything offensive to anyone. This took me quite a while to write as I was vey careful with my wording.)
Claudia says
*Hugs* You said it beautifully
Claudia says
Thank you so much for this post! I actually cried because this issue is very close to my heart. I used to wear skirts ALL the time. I now wear jeans usually all the time. I admit I have gotten lazy, and pulling on a pair of capris on a hot day is a lot easier than sweating it out in a long skirt. Because of this, I feel so judged by my “skirt only” peers. They actually won’t even look at me if they see me, where before they would always smile and talk or give me an approving nod. I feel like I’ve been kicked out of a club! I realize now that these ladies do not look on the hearts, but on the outward appearance. I know a great many ladies whose hearts are wonderfully close to the Lord who do not wear skirts all the time, if ever. Ladies who take the Word of God very seriously and honor their husbands, homeschool their children, and are completely faithful, Godly women. So thank you again for not judging.
KateP says
I am on board with the skirt/dress deal, my wardrobe isn’t there yet, but really i’ll never be able to function efficiently and modestly in every situation in only skirts so I agree that it is a very feminine way to dress and that is a good thing! but I’m not going to make it a legalism thing, and my husband could probably care less one way or the other! haha So I’d probably consider myself a half-and-half girl!
Laurie says
I do not wear skirts all the time. I work at home and run up and down the stairs all day (I would trip on my skirts) I do wear loose fitting pants and culottes in the summer. I have found a few gaucho style culottes with wide legs that are not tight around the backside. (Which we do sell on our website) The Bible tells us to be “modest” and look like a lady. The rest;I believe He leaves to our discernment. The ladies at my church wear skirts and culottes for church activities for which I am greatful. It is so nice to go to a church activitiy and my husband not bombarded with tight jeans and tops. Check our our free Bible study on the subject. May it be a blessing to someone: http://www.modestapparelusa.com/modesty-bible-study/
Amy says
Laurie,
Thank you so much for chiming in and for the link. 🙂
Blessings,
Amy
Laurie says
I never wear jean pants they are either not feminine or they are too tight and revealing.
Christina says
I love wearing skirts, as they definitely make me feel more feminine. I typically wear sweat/yoga pants to bed and to work around the house. I, too, agree that the issue isn’t one of pants vs. skirts, it is modesty vs. immodesty. So many of the Christian women I see that wear pants and jeans, wear very curve-hugging, snug bottoms, which leave nothing to the imagination. Many wear the low-rise jeans that reveal the top of their underwear with little movement. This I have a problem with, especially when worn to church functions. Not good for our husbands who are trying to remain pure to their wives, and for our little girls who think it must be ‘cool’ to wear such fashions because ‘so and so’ is wearing them. Just because it covers you doesn’t mean that it is modest.
LindieLee says
If I’m going to be worshiping in the back at church I always wear a dress/skirt or plazzo type pants. Most of the summer and warmer months I wear skirts unless I’m doing some housework I have to get down on my knees to do. In the wintertime I always wear pants.
Bethica-Ann says
I have been wearing skirts all the time for over 13 years now. If I have to do any kinds of work that would require climbing a latter or even Mayan ruins while on vacation, I wear culottes. I don’t wear pants because they are too form fitting in the crotch and buttocks, which is an eye catcher for men. Men are very visual and in a sensual way like to see women in tight, form fitting, and revealing clothing. When God inspired man to write in His Word a long flowing garment for women to wear, pants wouldn’t fit that criteria.
I have learned long ago not to judge others who are Christians who do not have the same dress standards I do. This is a personal decision between you, God, and your husband. It’s a matter of prayer and honestly asking if you want to do and obey God’s word. I am not perfect in this flesh and I can not expect you to be either.
Raine says
I mostly wear skirts. I used to take it to an extreme, but I’ve found there are some things that are more modest and much easier to do in pants like exercising, riding a bike, or playing in the floor with my son.
I think it’s sad how people judge eachother so much on what they wear, especially other Christians. I met another Christian blogger that lives in my town this summer and she apologized for wearing jeans. I told her not to worry about it, because I wear them sometimes too, but I wonder why we even feel like we have to explain or apologize for something like that that’s not really in scripture.
katie z. says
I wear skirts 99% of the time, but we have a diamon-in-the-rough piece of land full of ticks and poison ivy where skirts are NOT the most appropriate piece of clothing. My husband is definitely A-OK with it.
I also CHOOSE to wear skirts. It is antagonizing for me when others dictate what I should/shouldn’t wear as we are all in different places in our life, and if a woman wears a skirt out of a sense of obligation, what’s the point?
Ruthinthedesert says
My husband often wears a kilt.
I often wear skinny jeans.
I’m a homeschool mom and I refuse to fit the long unflattering denim skirt stereotype. 🙂
CharleneM says
Ummm, ouch?
I happen to be sitting here wearing a long denim skirt (wouldn’t call it unflattering…actually rather feminine) and loving it! 🙂
Ruthinthedesert says
No, I said the stereotype is that homeschool moms wear unflattering denim skirts. Some women have figured out the shape and length of skirt that works for them…and some haven’t. Sounds like you have. 🙂
Ruthinthedesert says
“Your husband and God are your guidance, not me.” I like this. There are so many areas in life where we judge each other (I know I’m guilty of that!), and it would be great if we could concentrate on following the Lord and making our own husbands happy instead of pointing fingers and trying to convert others to our own opinions and practices. God has given me friends who put their faith into practice in such different ways from me, yet their love for God is obvious, and I admire them and learn from them. The friends who are more concerned that I do what they do…well, those friendships haven’t lasted very well.
Ellie says
Is it about being “flattering”? Should we want or desire that kind of attention? Isn’t it about dressing in a comfortable, modest way? Maybe those women that you feel are dressing in an “unflattering” way feel beautiful and maybe it’s their hubby’s favorite outfit! We shouldn’t be ruled by the fashion trends. Chances are those skirts were once the “trend”. I like to try to look at the person, not their clothes, to find out who they are. Something that has struck me is often those women that dress as you are talking of seem SO comfortable with themselves, SO confident….I like that even if I wouldn’t wear their clothes!
Sharri B says
Nice post!
We always have to remember that God looks on the heart! 🙂
Terry says
One more thing, This is not about JUDGING, and why is it, It’s always about judging, and I look at all the reply’s from the ladys and everyone so so happy that everyone thinks it’s ok, And as I said read the whole BIBLE, God does care about what we wear and how we look and how we act, when it comes to bring him glory, It’s sad to see that woman only want to hear what makes it ok for what they are doing, and I did not want to put any of this in a wrong way, But it does break my heart, because I was the same way, but for so long no one would stand up for GOD word, and they still don’t, on what his word is saying and teaching us.There is so so more to this, but no one wants to hear it. (GOD’s ways are much higher then ours.)
Ellie says
Wow, this has been really encouraging for me to read ALL these responses to a great article! I try to remind myself of my goals as I get dressed. When my husband and I go dating on the motorcycle a skirt wouldn’t work! It’s nice to know that you all are so gracious and realistic! I do wear skirts most of the time, but haven’t always. It’s encouraging to see other women make the same choice who haven’t been raised that way. I do struggle with it sometimes and wonder if it’s necessary, but it pleases my husband and it’s kinda become “my” style!
Amanda says
Wow!!! I don’t know how to chime in exactly…..I recently made the decesion to wear skirts full time and have had no trouble wearing them while participating in activities. I have been bike riding, go-carting, hiking, and mushroom hunting all in a skirt. However, I’m struggling!!!! My husband would much rather prefer to see me in jeans. He does, however, agree that so would other men. And there is the whole legalistic side of it. I want it to be heart issue, not a traditional issue. But I think Terry is hitting on something here. All scripture is “God-breathed”, so did he not really mean for us not to wear “men’s” clothing? And were pants not “men’s” clothing before the huge feminist rage? Just questions, I’ve been struggling with myself. I’m definately not out to judge anyone, just my own prayers outloud. Because quite honestly, I’d much rather feel more comforatable in my jeans, but I’d also feel more comfortable doing all kinds of things that “feels” good, but I fight all kinds of those temptations everyday, is this not kind of the same idea?
Amy B says
I enjoyed the comments. I don’t know that my opinion is earth shattering, but this is my opinion: He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. The moment you get saved you begin learning about what God wants, desires, expects, wills, etc. But it takes time, prayer, study, etc to learn all of those things. As a matter of fact, I don’t know any Godly person who has it all figured out. I do think God cares about what we wear, what we say, what we do with our time, energy and money, etc. Why? Because a large part of the NT is dedicated to teaching us those principles to base our decisions on. But I think it would be unrealistic to think God expects us to be perfect from salvation forward and to follow all of the rules to spotless perfection. Why would I think this? Jesus. Christ was sent to us to redeem us from death, Hell and eternal separation, because we cant do it ourselves. The Israelites lived under the law for 4000 years and they couldn’t get it right. And they had all of the line by line rules of life. We are Gentiles by birth and Christ’s by redemption. Get saved. Read, study and pray. Form a close relationship with Christ. He is faithful to show you where you need change, and the order to take it in. In one woman, her attitude may need diligent work before her clothing. In another her laziness, in another it may be addiction or a judgemental attitude. If she looks holy on the outside because someone has told her what to wear, say and do, but she has a poor attitude, is manipulative, impulsive, sarcastic, easily angered, etc, she is a Pharisee or just a ring in a pig’s snout. Again, I do think God cares what we wear, how we look at others, and yes, how we comment on blogs and whether we are tearing each other down or building each other up. So which layer of your spiritual onion is God currently peeling off and carmelizing to make you a sweet aroma to Him instead of a stench that makes him cry? Chances are, your layer is a different one than anothers because we are all different onions in different stages of life and growth and with different needs, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. Praise the Lord He knows us intimately and perfectly! Make sure you are willingly allowing that later to come off, whatever it may be, and sometimes it will suprise you. It will probably hurt, but once it is tried by fire (or in the sautee pan), it will be unrecognizable to your old nature but sweet and beautiful to tthe Lord.
Malakh says
Wow!! I never thought skirts/pants could be such a deal! As Amy D said, I too was a tomboy… (thanks to those awesome 3 brothers I spent my childhood building war zones with) and I ALWAYS wore pants… I actually thought I hated skirts and would NEVER wear one. Then I bought this skirt recently, and I fell absolutely in love with it! I do wear pants 99% of the time though, and especially shorts (some of them very short). I used to laugh (sadly) at Muslim women who cover themselves on the beach while all the “open minded” Christian women were in their bikinis… (I am a Lebanese Christian, moved 4 years ago with my family to Canada).. I used to mock them thinking they are backwards thinking. Then suddenly, just out of nowhere, I too began feeling very uncomfortable in bikins and the normal swimsuits… especially around my father and brothers. Something felt terribly bad. I felt naked and exposed in front of my male family members. So,(all this has been happening in the last year)all of last summer, my time in the pool was spent in a shirt and shorts. I noticed how more comfortable I am, since my little brother’s friend comes over to swim with him, and I babysit them, and then when her father comes to pick her up, I no longer feel the urge to run and hide myself. Anyway, so I know I love skirts now, but am having a hard time getting rid of pants and especially those very immodest shorts. I also ordered a veil for Mass, but that is a HUGE step, I just ordered it to have it, but i don’t think I will start using it anytime soon. Anyway, please pray for me and this small “conversion” I am going through.
Love,
Malakh
Marie says
I wore skirts when I went to a private elementary school when I was little. I seriously resented the fact that I had to wear skirts while playing on the jungle gym, and though I was wearing shorts underneath them, it still felt like I was at some type of peep show. I remember thinking why do they even let us go on the jungle gym at all in a dress OR why don’t we just wear shorts on the playground so it doesn’t feel like if the boys glance up it’s so illicit? I felt self conscious on all the playground equipment because of that. Then one day I went down the slide and my dress hem got stuck at the top as I went down. I was stuck hanging halfway down the slide with my hem up at the top! Right at that moment, I felt myself get this pain in my chest that made me not be able to breathe and I couldn’t pull myself back up the slide no matter how hard I tried! I had to call attention to myself to get someone to go get the teacher to help me.
To this day, I prefer pants, and luckily I lived in south FL where everyone wears pants including 99% of Christians. Even in my (awesome) traditional, fundamental church, no one wore ONLY skirts. Then 3 years ago we moved to a colder state. Now I (have to) wear skirts to church even on nights when it is 20 degree weather! I could probably phrase that better, but the few people in our church who wear only skirts have reasons that seem illogical to us, and I really just feel it is a cultural thing for many people here, or it is because the husband wants it to show that he’s a man and she’s a woman (and the wife doesn’t prefer skirts but wears them out of respect for his wishes) which seems to be the reasoning for two couples of the three we know. Our pastor recently asked that I wear only skirts since my husband is in charge of a kids program in the church. The pastor’s wife is one of the few in the church who only wears skirts, and it seems to be his conviction and not hers. I know I am to submit to the pastor, and I have been, but I really have a hard time practicing his conviction especially when it is so cold at night when I go to church. We are very conservative in every way and much more so than most people in our church here, so this has been a real puzzler. I usually wear double pants every day and definitely at night if I have to go out! I feel much more comfortable in pants, and I wish this issue would go away.
Amy says
The only advice I have is to go to your husband over this matter. HE is the head of your household. I imagine he will have better answers than I can give. It might be that the two of you need to go to the pastor together and discuss this.
Jannice says
I have been reading through the “She Wears Skirts” posts and while it’s very foreign to me as well there is one thing I am absolutely convinced about. No one else – may it be a pastor or someone else (in my opinion even a husband) – has the right to tell you what to wear or how to behave. That’s not God’s will. He created you to be your own independant person with a free will and mind.
You have to do what is right for you and your beliefs. If it’s your wish (through yourself or God) to dress only in skirts, or cover your hair with a hijab, or wear a turban and a knife around your neck then you should do that, but you should never do that because it’s someone else’s wishes.
In my opinion your pastor is abusing his position and power, both as a pastor towards you and as a husband towards his wife. We all interpret God’s will and even the Bible in different ways and I’m sure God wanted it that way or He wouldn’t have created us the way He did.
Only you can know what God wants for you as a person, no one else. And I personally believe that He would be far more angry with someone using their position of power as a pastor to force you to do something than you dressing in a certain way.
I know peer pressure is really difficult – I have been bullied and left out for most of my life just for being me – and if you feel you want to do what these people ask of you there is nothing wrong with that, but don’t let anyone bully you into believing that you are making the wrong choice if you don’t.
All the best
aw says
I’ve read several posts in this series. I grew up in a church that was extremely legalistic. We could not ever wear pants, makeup et. The skirts had to be ankle length and many young people and older women wore their clothes as tight as possible even if their skirts were dragging on the ground. I hated it. As an adult, I later left that church due to employment which caused me to move away. I did not leave God. I joined a church where the rules weren’t so rediculous. I found out that it didn’t matter if you wore skirts daily or if you did. What matters is your motive and your heart. The heart is always the issue. Now, did I ban skirts entirely in my wardrobe? Certainly not. My five year old asked me why I never wear dresses. He noticed! So, I had to pay closer attention. For me as a busy mom and wife, pants became more comfortable and easier to move around in. I appreciate this series, especially the youtube video from Jimmies Collage mentioned in the series. I have never heard the case for modest dress explained in that manner. Thanks.
Stephanie says
Okay, wow. Thank you for this series. It’s extremely thought-provoking, and forcing me to rethink my decisions about my clothing.
I’m a 14 year old growing up surrounded by the typical teenage worldview. My parents are very conservative, and homeschools me and my five siblings, but it’s inevitable that I become exposed to at least some of the “fashion do’s and don’t’s” and “you should weigh this”.
Since I was 12, I’ve struggled with what a godly woman should wear. Are my jeans, shorts, and blouses glorifying Christ? Is a bathing suit okay to wear in public, even if it’s a modest one-piece?
I often thought about long skirts and dresses. Would they, perhaps, please Christ better than jeans and t-shirts? Until this series, I was having trouble finding verses to support my beliefs, and, as such, generally ignored the nagging in my mind.
I’m going to be doing some serious thinking and research about this. My mother hasn’t ever been very concerned about her clothing, but I think sometimes I’m even more conservative than her.
My top concern, despite how much I despise it, is what my peers will say. I can hear the mocking, teasing, and rude questions in my youth group and co-op now! And what will my not-so-conservative extended family think? What will they say when I sit out at the water park we go to for church camp each year, because I’m not comftorable wearing a bathing suit?
Do you think it’s odd that I, a teenage girl, can think so differently than her peers and even family?
Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you. I guess the words above were pretty much me just ranting and thinking out loud!
Thank you again!
~Stephanie
Shante says
OH MY GOSH .. I’m a 14 year old too ! lol well I only wear skirts and my friends are pretty cool with it… it used to be awkward for me b4 because I only wore long skirts down to my feet because I was too afraid to ask my mom to wear shorter ones. but now I have a variety.. maybe if u feel skirts are your choice you can do that… get a variation of skirts.. long, short (not too short), flowy, straight, etc. and dresses aren’t so bad either 😀
Ellie Rae says
Thank you for this post. I love wearing skirts/dresses, too, but most of the time I don’t. Thank you for a non-condemning post. It is very good to encourage one another, as women, to look feminine whenever possible (and that can be done in slacks/pants, too).
Stacy Byers says
I have been a born again Christian since I was 14. When I was 16, I decided to wear skirts only. I am not 36 years old with 7 kids. I wear skirts ALL the time. The only time I wear pants is when I am in my pajama pants, when I want to be comfy and warm, in the privacy of my own home. When the doorbell rings, I run to change 🙂 I don’t wear my pajama pants very often. No one has seen me in a pair of pants since I was a teenager! I just want to say that for the past 20 years, I have done EVERYTHING in a skirt. I’ve never seen the need to put on a pair of pants to do something. Riding a horse, working, gardening, grunt work, going to the gym, EVERYTHING active is done with a pair of culottes with leggings underneath for modesty. I also have a Pastor’s wife that I know who is a horse and dog trainer and a very active person that does EVERYTHING in a skirt with leggings underneath. I’m not judging “skirts only” gals, but I do wonder why they are “skirts only” until they have to do something active and then they put on pants. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with wearing a pair of culottes with leggings underneath. It is very modest and no one can see a thing when in an improper position. I have 6 boys and 1 daughter. My daughter is a very active little girl. More like a tomboy really. But all of her life, every active thing she has done, even flipping upside down on monkey bars and riding her bike, has been done in culottes with leggings. They can be knee length leggings, or ankle leggings. Very modest! You don’t have to sometimes sacrifice your standards. A pair of culottes and leggings is way more modest than any pair of pants!
Hooked10 says
Two years ago God prompted me to wear skirts(only skirts) I fussed A LOT, especially since I always wore pants and capris. But God didn’t let up and I subsided since He covered all my questions. I didn’t even tell my husband about this and it didn’t take long for him to notice and then ask. I had a testimony. Well fast forward to a year later and our family had a fire and lot everything. The clothing I now have is all donated and “not skirts” . I questioned this to God, questioned my self, felt release from the skirt thing for a while and moved on. I now know why I was “told” to wear skirts every day, and I am so blessed for the lesson. So now fast forward to 8mos. post fire and I am back to the beginning. Now it isn’t God telling me to wear skirts it is my heart wanting to wear skirts and my testimony continues. God is gracious and always has a purpose.
Ki Turnbull says
You all are so lucky that you can let the Spirit alone guide you no matter what others think! Women wearing pants are sinners according to Apostolics. We aren’t allowed to have personal convictions that are different from our pastor’s. If we do something he doesn’t believe in, we’re sinning. Salvation isn’t as easy and freeing as God promised, I guess! It’s so hard to stay saved (especially when I really study the Bible) because I keep questioning my pastor’s beliefs. God is the only one I can talk to but He’s only close to me when we’re alone. I wish He’d talk back to me and tell me what to do. I don’t mind wearing skirts, but I don’t understand the million other rules I have to follow in order to keep my salvation. How do you guys know what to do if your pastor doesn’t tell you?