It seems harmless enough. It’s just a little “spoonage” – you know, that dried-on food left by the spoon that stirred the pot? No biggie. Right?
Except for the fact that I ALWAYS leave it undone.
I have no reason not to do it, yet I don’t do it.
And what does that breed?
More spoonage.
Cheryl Mendelson in her book Home Comforts (I’ll be referring to this book and others a lot, so be prepared!) calls this phenomena:
The idea being that my little bit of undone spoonage will naturally cause me and those around me to assume I do not care about a little spoonage and soon there is spoonage EVERYWHERE!
Guess what, the theory is correct!
However, I DO care…just not enough to actually fix it. At least, not right away. So, I end up with crusted-on spoonage which is much worse than your average run of the mill I-just-set-the-spoon-down spoonage.
Why in the world do I do this?
Because I live in a world of distractions, and the natural distractions of my life have become my crutch. They are the things I blame when things are left undone.
But the truth of the matter is that I don’t come back to tasks I have been distracted from because I don’t want to.
I would rather sit down to the internet than survey my house to make sure all is in order. I would rather read a book, watch a movie with my husband, or take a bath. I don’t take care of the things left undone because I find ways to avoid them and then I proclaim that I am seizing the day!
And then all those things I’ve left undone…SEIZE ME!
Why? Because rather than being little things, they become gigantic stuck-on, overwhelming messes that must be tackled before I cook supper or before I can read a book to the kids. They actually end up taking more of my time than they deserve simply because I wasn’t willing to tackle them or come back to them as soon as possible.
Now, I’m not talking about some undone project that doesn’t really matter if I finish it or not. And I’m not talking about ignoring my family in order to clean.
I’m talking about the simple everyday tasks that take SECONDS to do if you just do them as they happen!
No method in the world is going to fix the little stuff you leave undone if you don’t first believe the little stuff is worth doing.
And so this week, I’ve been focusing on finding joy in doing the little stuff promptly. The time I have redeemed and the transformation I have seen have been well worth the tiny bit of effort it has taken.
How are you bringing purpose and meaning back into your homemaking? Link up below!
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Heather Wawa says
Whoa. This fellow homeschooling mama to six is pulling up her stool, putting on the coffee, and paying close attention. DH and I had a rare “heated discussion” tonight on this very topic.
He likes perfection in the house BUT unfortunately while he married a gal who is also a perfectionist, she won’t try much if it can’t be perfect (which of course it will never be with 6 kids home 24/7).
Lol about the spoonage!!!
Natasha says
Oh, Amy, I’m right there with you. I just wrote my post this afternoon about being distracted and disconnected from my family and God. The link to an article you posted on Raising Arrows Facebook page about “popcorn brains” started some of my thinking. Linking up with you. Sure appreciate your words.
Cindy says
It’s called SPOONAGE!? Of course it is. And that’s a good name for it. I love Home Comforts, though I have been and always will be intimidated and slightly irritated by the massive laundry section. 😉
Amy says
And I’ll probably never iron. 😉
Kimberly says
ROTFL!!! I have childless friends who are HORRIFIED at my lack of daily ironing! I just chuckle…
Judy Zander says
WOW! I am so on board with you on this! That is exactly what I am working on in my own home! On Christmas Day I my mother-in-law cleaned my whole kitchen in about 15 minutes, while I had my back to her talking to my sister-in-law… I was humbled to say the least. So I asked myself, “Why does it take me so long???” {DISTRACTIONS!} I’d link up if I knew how, LOL!!! Love ya!
Diana says
I went and got that book on your recommendation, from the library, and am really enjoying it! Thanks!!! Though I will never even try to live up to most of her suggestions (like using a real cloth tablecloth that needs to be changed every day, etc. etc.) Love your blog, as always!!
Amy says
There is no way I can do all the things she suggests, but it is refreshing to read a book where homemaking is a happy thing! 🙂
Pamela says
Oh boy, I thought I was seeing a picture of my own counter top! I can cook up something so fast sometimes, I bake delicious things, and spoonage, and the little things that drop to the floor get left for later why? I read on another blog recently that we should not leave for later what we have energy to deal with right now. That really struck a chord with me and I think about that line all the time now. While I have realized many times I didn’t feel like dealing with such and such at that moment, it was not always that I couldn’t find enough energy for it. Great advice, and I have really worked at removing my little excuses in my mind and just dealing with what is immediately in front of me. Voila, a much tidier home, and if I am really tired, I can actually sit down and relax, knowing that I will not be haunted by those little jobs, that have all become big daunting tasks. Excellent reminders in your post, I really related, and I will be looking into that book.
Amy says
It literally takes seconds for many of these jobs. Good saying!
Bambi @ In the Nursery of the Nation says
LOL! I was thinking, “Amy sneaked into my house last night and took a picture of my countertops!” Great encouragement because yes, mom sets the tone and standard for *everything*.
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
This sort of thing is the MAIN reason my house isn’t as clean as it could be (“could be” with three very wild small children). I constantly walk by toys or bits of paper on the floor and think “I really ought to pick that up,” but I’m on some other mission, and I just…don’t. Then when I’m cleaning I wonder why not, it would have taken an extra second, that’s it. It’s so important for me to do, too, because I get stressed and angry and feel crazy (and take it out on those around me) when my house is messy. If there’s stuff around or piled up at ALL, I feel like I live with “towering walls of crap” and I can’t stand it. When my house is clean (as it is now; I spent hours yesterday cleaning it), I literally feel a sense of peace every time I walk through.
It’s so worth it to do those little things.
Amy says
It baffles me why I don’t just do it, but I always have an excuse 😉 It really isn’t taking time away from anyone or anything to do something takes seconds.
Heather Wawa says
This is me! “I constantly walk by toys or bits of paper on the floor and think “I really ought to pick that up,â€.
Last night I walked by my black bookshelf and thought, “Oh my, that’s dusty. I should dust it soon.” and kept walking, on my way to do something that didn’t particularly need to be done.
*sigh* I need a Nanny 911-type cleaning nut to follow me around for a week and whip me into shape. It’s all about developing good habits.
Heidi says
Ugh…I thought you were going to say it was okay that I left things undone, and instead tended to my family. Bummer! Because I find the spoonage, and the dishes, and the diapers, and the laundry, and the sweeping, etc., all seem to take away from my family time. And I know it, but I do it. Sigh.
Bella Michelle says
Oh how I love this, “the natural distractions of my life have become my crutch”!!!! You hit the nail on the head!!!!! I allow myself to be so very distracted. What a fun series this is, can’t wait to read what others are saying!
Suanna says
Interesting terminology. I do occasionally have spoonage, but don’t really like it so I tend to grab a saucer from my cupboard to set my spoons on if my spoon rest is dirty or in use with another spoon and I don’t want cross contamination.
Amy says
I’ve just started doing this!
Suanna says
I realized after I commented that I have plenty of dripage though. Guess I need to practice cleaning up after I finish cooking.
Amy says
Aha! A new term! (pretty sure I’ve got that too!)
Vanessa says
Wow…I didn’t realize it had a name, but I have definitely noticed the Broken Window Theory at my house. One time I was hurrying to get my son off to school and left the toothpaste cap on the counter. Before I knew it, I noticed the toothpaste cap was left on the counter every day {not by me}. And it was driving. me. crazy. So now we only use toothpaste with the flip cap. 🙂
Stephanie says
I have been trying to get back in the habit of getting the kitchen cleaned up right after dinner. I had gotten in the habit of leaving it until later when my 4th baby was little because he usually needed to eat, but as he has gotten bigger I had been letting the mess wait while I sat doing nothing. It only takes a few minutes to load the dishwasher and start pans to soak so I need to stay on top of it. It makes my day so much easier.
Lisa~ says
Very interesting. You and I have so much in common but are so different! Isn’t it great to see how other people live and what they struggle with? I never thought of this. I do love Home Comforts and refer to it often. It’s a great book.
I don’t mean to sound like I have it all together because I DO NOT! But this particular issue just isn’t a problem for me. I can’t take credit as I am sure it’s just a gift from the Lord. I could not live with spoonage or a really messy house. It has always seemed to me that it is so simple to just give it a quick wipe and do a fast sweep of the house a few times a day. I loved what Judy said about her mother-in-law cleaning the kitchen. It really only takes a few minutes….especially if the kids will either help or sit at the table while you do the job. I’m just saying this to let you know that you can have victory over this! You will be amazed at the results (and happy husband)! Lisa~
Amy says
This is one of those things that makes no sense in my life as I absolutely do not like clutter and such, but the kitchen…ACH! I have ALWAYS struggled there. Perhaps someday I will figure out why, but for now I have to just do it w/o analyzing it! lol
Deanna says
Whoa!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post today. Thank you for sharing!!
Andrea says
I’m at the opposite spectrum Amy. I am crazy about cleaning the spoonage and everything else – but I am in a season now where I feel like God is trying to teach me to focus on the most important things. So, by fire, I am having to let go of the spoonage. With a newborn and a toddler who has been ill in some shape or form since Thanksgiving, numerous doctor and pharmacy visits, dozens and dozens of sleepless nights – I have been forced at times to forego personal hygeine, laundry piles up (cloth diapering too), the list is endless. But every morning I pray for God to order my day, set His priorities in my heart, show me what HE wants me to accomplish, give me a heart to focus on loving and caring for others instead of being Martha. I loved your comment last week that life is life with a little home schooling mixed in – that has helped me so much. I tend to get hung up on getting stuff done, having a perfect home (what if someone stops by and the house is a mess???). But none of it is worth it if the children are neglected or miserable. Sorry, I ramble. But spoonage, in and of itself, is not bad if there is a greater need that needs to be taken care of. The spoonage will ALWAYS be there. The little ones will not. Although with six children thus far, I am convinced my husband and I will never be empty nesters 🙂 Which is okay with me. I’m a mama, it’s what I do!
Barb S. says
Thanks for sharing! Lots of spoonage here, unfortunately. The little clutter and unpicked up stuff….Ugh. Thanks for the encouragement.
MaryEllen@TheImperfectHomemaker says
Wow! I just want to cry right now knowing I am not alone. I struggle with this so much! I’ve tried to adopt the motto “Put it away, right away.” But putting it into practice is still very much a work in progress. Just gotta stick with it until it develops into a habit.
Tracy says
I can’t stand by counters being crumby and having spoonage all over them and not because it looks bad or because it would be easier to clean if tackled right away, but because it drives me nuts to not be able to sit things down on my counter tops, which I can’t do if they are covered in crumbs and dried up stuff. However, I seem to be the only person in my house who sees the importance of wiping down the table and counter tops after a meal. While this particular things tends to drive me batty, I’m thankful I don’t have more serious issues to deal with right now! 🙂 Although, it really, really bugs me!
Dana K says
Thanks for sharing! I have similar struggles in the kitchen, but what resonates most with me from this post is in thinking about the paper clutter that I struggle with for similar reasons, putting off things that take very little time and then rarely getting back to them. With finally having some time to tackle the clutter (I recently left my job to stay home.), it’s nearly overwhelming, and I HAVE to find a better way of doing things!
Dawn (Large Family Mom) says
Spoonage, drippage and droppage (all those paper bits and things on the floor). Love it!!
Gonna have to really think through the distraction as a crutch thing. I think I might be guilty of that. I mean, I always joke about being ADD, but am I really? Thanks, Amy!
Amy says
I joke about the same thing! lol
Lora-Dawn says
Oh this is me! Thank you for this post, I needed to hear that!
Reggie says
Huh. Call it a blessing, call it a curse, but I am physically unable to walk away from the kitchen if there is ‘spoonage’ on a countertop, stovetop, etc. I also can’t walk by scraps of paper, discarded toys, random matchless socks…we must find the match and the owner immediately. I blame it on being raised by Martha Stewart on steroids and never being allowed to make a mess. Ever. At. All.