Not Just Surviving Motherhood {Welcome Home Link Up}

I’ve asked you before if you like your children.

Today, I want to ask if you like being a mother.

You can love your children and even like your children and yet find no joy in motherhood. 

If you wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead full of children who need you, you might be just surviving.

If you live for the hours when the children aren’t awake, you might be just surviving.

If you dream of days without the responsibilities your children bring, you might be just surviving.

If you cringe when your children call your name, you might be just surviving.

If you cry yourself to sleep at night, you might be just surviving.

Motherhood is hard.  I would be lying to you if I said otherwise.  It doesn’t take much to get lost in dirty faces and dirty diapers, spills and messes and sippy cups.  We go from task to task, just barely getting by.  We drop into bed utterly and completely exhausted, only to find it starting all over again the very next day.

It wouldn’t be difficult to drown in motherhood if we never look past the here and now of a day full of surface issues.  Yes, we most certainly run damage control, but that is not the essence of motherhood, nor is it a way to move beyond simply surviving.

If you really want to stop just surviving motherhood, you have to find meaning in motherhood that transcends the day to day-ness of your life.  Cooking and cleaning have to stop being tiresome chores, naughtiness has to stop being a personal offense, and the needs of your family have to stop being interruptions to your day.

But, you wonder how you can ever get to the place where you aren’t utterly exhausted and stressed.  You wonder if there really is joy to be found in your life.  Maybe you’re just really bad at this motherhood thing.

Or maybe, just maybe, you have lost your focus and your vision.  You don’t see motherhood the way God sees it.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Psalm 127:3

These children you are raising are a gift, a reward.  What do you do with rewards and gifts?  You treasure them.  You look forward to a future enjoying these gifts.  And as Christians, you realize these gifts are not yours, but His.

That is humbling.

You have been entrusted with tomorrow’s fathers and mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers.  You have been entrusted with the next generation of believers, the future servants of our Lord and Savior, the Light-bearers and Truth-speakers of tomorrow.  They just happen to bundled up in little, foolish, needing-to-be-honed packages you get to unwrap!

Mamas, get yourselves in God’s Word and seek after Him and all He has for you as a mother.  Hold those tiny, sticky hands that reach for you, guide those little hearts and minds, speak His Truth into their lives and tell His story and how they are a part of that story.

Be transformed.  Be renewed.  Move beyond survival and into a life lived with purpose and meaning – the blessed life of motherhood.

Beg the Lord to show you how to see motherhood through His eyes, how to care for your children with His hands, how to love them with His love.  When you do this, you stop surviving and you start living…for Him.

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Join me this week in linking up your posts aimed at making home a welcoming place where Christ shines through in everything you do.

And don’t forget to visit this month’s sponsor: DrinkBands!
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24 thoughts on “Not Just Surviving Motherhood {Welcome Home Link Up}

  1. This post is so appropriate. Even though I enjoy mothering there are times of course when I don’t and I need to give myself a diagnostic. For me a combination of fatigue and busyness keep me from truly enjoying motherhood at times. Thank you for this stinging reminder.

    • I think we all have moments where things are less than stellar, but I find that God gives me wonderful reminders just when I need them! :)

  2. Thank you for this post. I was brought to tears at the realization that I rarely view my children as a reward. Please pray that I will seek God in this… that His grace will show me how to give up my selfishness to genuinely enjoy, and not dread, motherhood. Please pray for my children, that my sins against them wont damage them. thank you!

  3. This is SO powerful, Amy! I can say that I have spent quite a few of my 8 yrs of mothering in “survival” mode.

    God is changing my heart… some days are still difficult, but my perspective is changing… which is changing my priorities, my attitudes, my responses.

    Thank God for grace!

  4. Thanks for reminding us, Amy, of our very important role as Moms. I try to remind myself when I have a bad day, or my teens are not where they should be spiritually, that God is not finished with us yet. I need to be faithful, patient, and in prayer, so in the future, I will see His will for them unfold in a beautiful way! Blessings on your day…

  5. Thank the Lord, this is so timely. Having come from the Teach Them Diligently Convention (missed finding you there!) the Lord spoke to me about how I was not being DILIGENT but just surviving.

  6. Thanks Amy for sharing this post with us. I needed to read this today. I woke up feeling just like you described, dreading another day of laundry, dishes, messes & homeschooling. I am just surviving, but want to see motherhood as God sees it. I do love my children, & husband, but some days I feel totaly drained & lose site of what motherhood is all about. This is a constant struggle for me. I am dealing with some family issues that cause me alot of stress, & this is having a great effect on my actions. I have a child who has anger/behavior issues, & that makes motherhood harder. My husband also has the same issues, wich dosen’t help me to teach the child that this behavior is not acceptable. Please pray for me that I will see my child & husband thru God’s eyes, ask him how to help them his way not mine. Motherhood is a gift & we are truly blessed. Thanks for helping me to remember I don’t have to do it alone, God is allways with me step by step.

  7. Lately I’ve been convicted that I need to SMILE more. When the conviction hit me squarely over the head I did smile and suddenly felt better. Now this week in our school our character trait we are working on is Cheerfulness. I follow a curriculum so it’s not my pick. God is using the kids school to change me. Imagine that! :)

  8. I have days like this. I think we all do.

    But more often than not, I wake up excited for what I get to do with my kids. Sometimes I feel like I’m a kid again myself, just “playing house.” I’m excited just to get them dressed in the morning and feed them breakfast and take them to a playground. I’m excited to bake cookies with them. I’m excited to see the world through their eyes. I feel this way most of the time. If you’re struggling, step back and take a few hours to yourself (if you can), have a cup of tea, read a book, talk to a friend, get a little perspective. Pray. Then jump back in with new eyes, getting excited about all the things you “get” to do with your kids, rather than “have” to do. There are always dull and frustrating moments — but we don’t have to focus on them.

    • This is one reason I feel homeschool conventions are so important..they give us fresh eyes. We need to be reminded what blessings these little ones are!

  9. Thank you for this post. I spent most of Sunday crying about how it’s always my turn to deal with the diapers and the baby feeding and helping the three year old and everything. I have spent each day waiting for bedtime so that I don’t have to deal with small children anymore. What a perfectly timed reminder that my children are a reward.

    • Oh, how I know the feeling that it is always me dealing with everything…rather than rejoicing in this short time I get to be everything to my children.

  10. Thank you so much for this post. I only have one child; a wonderful 21 mth old son. Some days I just dread getting out of bed because I don’t know what to do to keep him entertained all day. I’ve tried many activities, only to have my son be interested for less than a minute. I know he might take an interest in my planned activities in the future, but for now it’s really difficult. I pray that God will help me to see each day as a blessing and each moment with my son as a gift from Him.

    • I was the same way with my oldest. I did finally write down an entire list of ideas to keep him busy, but I’ll be honest…parenting was very difficult for me in those days and I cried myself to sleep most nights. I wish someone had told me how to make it better for all of us!