Shortly after I announced my pregnancy last week, my symptoms started to subside. As much as I tried to tell myself this was normal for me at 7 weeks, I also knew that the last two babies had passed away at 7 weeks. I finally decided to just go in to the OB’s office and relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling.
Baby looked beautiful! And I cried. Baby’s heart was beating at 179 beats per minute and he or she was measuring right on (even a bit ahead). It was so good to see a normal sonogram after so many heartbreaking ones this winter.
I felt like I could finally celebrate.
When I got home, my elation changed to heartache. My mom called to say my grandpa (the only grandpa I’ve ever known) was dying.
We went from life to death in a matter of hours. And I cried.
So, here I am at 8 weeks pregnant, preparing for life and preparing for death all at the same time.
And it is a little strange for me to be here. You see, I’ve lost people in my life in what seems like the wrong order. First my dad, then my daughter, and now my grandpa.
It makes me realize once again just how precious life is.
Whether it is unborn, 7 months, or 94 years of life.
So, I celebrate.
I celebrate a new life growing within, strong and healthy, and a grandpa who lived 94 years strong and healthy.
My prayers are with you, your Grandfather, and your family…
Take care of yourself, and your precious little miracle.
God Bless you.
I’m sorry sweetie – yes – it makes you stop and think – makes us realize how precious each day is – but this is not our home
God bless! love the celebrate life part – so true!
Oh I’ve been in a similar situation. I lost two babies last Summer. With the first, I found out I was pregnant, and was elated. The same week, my mom called with news that my Nana, my only Grandmother, had died. As hard as it was to deal with her death, the feeling of life in me felt something full circle-ish. Her memorial wasn’t for a few weeks after she passed and the night before it, I lost that baby. I was heartbroken b/c I thought God had given death, but also life. Now we just had death. A few months later I was pregnant again and wouldn’t you know, that baby was due ON the 1 year anniversary of my Nana’s passing. Again I felt like God reminded us that even with death, there was life. Then I lost that baby too. That’s when everything seemed to crumble. Now not much made sense. I just felt like I’d lost two babies, and my Nana, all in a few months, and did NOT have that hope in unborn life any more. BUT, I needed to emotionally plumit to those depths. I needed to see that life didn’t revolve around losing my beloved Nana. I needed to see that life didn’t revolve around losing the babies. I needed to see that life revolved around only the One who gives and takes life as He pleases because He knows what is best. The day after my first lost baby’s due date, I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time in 9 months. I’m half way done and that baby is kicking inside me as I type. God is good. His mercies are new every morning. I am so sorry you are losing your grandfather, but I know that you too trust in the Lord that takes and gives as He sees fit, and it sounds like He is doing JUST that in your life right now.
So glad to hear baby’s doing well, and really sorry about your Grandpa. I’ll be prayiing for you loads!
Sending up prayers for you, Amy!!!!!
I feel for you. When I was pregnant with my first, both of my grandfathers suffered fatal falls and passed away before their great-grandchild was born. Shortly afterwards, one of my grandmothers passed away. Then after the birth of my second, my other grandma died. I was blessed to know all of my grandparents throughout childhood but had to cope with them passing away in such a short time. To this day I still get choked up and emotional when I think about my grandfathers; they were so looking forward to meeting my first baby and it never happened.
I am so sorry for your loss. Really the pain is for those of us left here in this life still, and that pain can truly hurt. I have lost all of my grandparents over the years, there’s something beautiful about that type of relationship. I wasn’t close with one set at all, but my Mom’s parents were as close as could be and it was very hard to lose them. I am thankful they are with Christ, but I still mourned my own loss here on earth.
On the same reply, congratulations for your new life that you have being formed by His hands. Such a beautiful picture you have above. I love my ultrasound pictures, those taking a glimpse into previously unseen works of God. I still smile when I see those of my children and think how tiny they were and how big they are now.
May the Father comfort and protect you as only He can. May You be enfolded in His care, and may He put the right folks around you at the right time to comfort and care for you and yours, and may they do it with His wisdom.
With prayers
Monique
I’m so sorry about your grandpa, Amy! We lost my grandmother earlier this year and I’m still struggling with the fact that she’s gone. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call her. But I know that she’s with the Lord and that gives me solace.
Life is most definitely precious. Praying for you today.
I must have missed your pregnancy announcement. I am so happy for you and yet so sorry that you’ll be losing your grandpa soon. Will be praying for you.
So happy things are moving along for you! It is strange to rejoice but mourn at the same time. praying that the Lord gives strength in the days ahead. Praying for your family.
Been thinking and praying for you. Glad baby is OK. Sorry about your Granddad. Take care of yourself!
Praying for you, and so thankful to see that beautiful baby with such a strong beating heart.
So sweet!
I’m so sorry about your grandpa. Praise God for his long life! I lost my grandma (Nanny) last year and it was just heartbreaking. Praying for peace for you.
Praying for you and your family! Sounds like you are taking a positive approach to everything. Blessings!
((HUGS)) to you sweet friend. Wow, a blessed 94 years is a wonderful life to spend on this Earth. Praying for you and all affected by the loss of your Grandfather. And rejoicing with you that your precious baby is thriving
Oh Amy — I’m praying for you.
Life is such a dichotomy sometimes, isn’t it???
The day I found out I was pregnant with my son was the day of my mother-in-law’s funeral. What a swirl of emotions that was for all of us… my sweet husband was dealing with such JOY (we had been wanting to be pregnant so much) and such SADNESS at the same time.
I’m sending you hugs and praying for peace for your grandfather — what joy he will know as he meets the Heavenly Father – but no easier for those left behind.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I know the pain and joy of going through this season in life. When our 3rd child was born in 2001, my father was sick that entire year. He passed on to Heaven at the end of June, our eldest child was hit by a car 2 weeks later (and miraculously lived), then our precious daughter was born in the beginning of August. God only knows why things happen this way, but it is ALWAYS for our better because He loves us so. He showed me life when our entire family was struggling to let our dad go home through physical death, and that’s what He’s doing with you. God bless.
It’s a hard place to be in, but I am so glad you to hear that you get to celebrate the life within you and remember with fondness the life of a wonderful grandpa! Congratulations on your pregnancy and yet, sympathy for the pain of your loss! Prayers to you, dear lady!
*Hugs* So sorry you’re going through this. I’m praying
I am so excited for you to have a great sono, and I grieve with you as well. My grandparents both went on to Glory, last summer.
I’m so glad to hear your baby is doing fine! But sorry to hear about your grandpa. Sounds like he is well loved.
This recently happened in our family too. Our nephew was born on the same day my grandmother died. You hear that when one person passes another is born but I have never experienced it all in my family. My heart goes out to yours in sympathy and praise! Sending prayers
It kind of happened for me too. My best friend told me she was pregnant 3 weeks before my mom passed away. The baby was born 3 weeks before my birthday. That baby has brought so much joy back into my family’s life.
Praying for you!!!!!
YAY! Praise the Lord! I am nine weeks today with my first. It will be so fun to follow your journey while I’m going through my own. God is good.
I know your heartache!!! Praise to The Giver of Life that you had your grandfather around you for as long as you have! Give praise for his life and love him right into the next life in Heaven! I’m so very glad that you unborn child is safe and sound!!! I’ve lost two at that age – just rejoice all is well. I know it’s hard to let go of loved ones, but rejoice in the fact that your grandfather has almost completed God’s purpose for him and he gets to go Home soon!!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family.
Blessings,
Nicole
Prayers with your family right now. ((((hugs)))))
Dear Amy,
We also happened to be pregnant as my grandmother passed away, so I understand the happy/sad conflict. My best to you and your family at this time of change.
I am sorry for your grandfather’s decline, and glad for your child’s healthy progress.
I am so happy that the baby is doing great! Praying for little one. I am thankful that you had your Grandpa for so many years, and I will be praying for you and your family as you go through this time.
Praying for you and the celebration of life. Last September my husband and I held the hand of his father while he died on the second floor of our local hospital. We went home at 3am. Later that day I got the call that my friend was ready to have her baby. So I found myself on the 5th floor welcoming a new life into the world. In 24 hours I held the hands of one going and one coming into this world. I heard John Waller in concert and his mother died the day after his youngest was born. He wrote the song Heaven is better now that you are there for his mom.
I’m praying for you friend. That God will give you strength and comfort thru this time. It’s hard to lose a loved one and sometime harder to bring a life into this world. (only because of the worries that we mommies have for out unborn) Just remember all the blessings you have right in front of you and that you’re never alone! Have a wonderful and blessed day! Much love, Sheila
Oh Amy, I’m sorry for your loss. I just recently lost my grandpa so I feel your pain.
I am so happy for you and your new little one – I’ll be praying for peace & health for you and baby. *hugs*
I’m so sorry to hear. We went through something similar last year with loosing my cousin, uncle, and my husband’s grandpa within a matter of three months. A week later, we opened our home to our first foster child. It’s certainly been a rollercoaster of emotions. One which has just caused me to lean more heavily on God’s soveriegnty. Not to say I don’t have days where the pain seems too much, but it certainly makes me thankful that I don’t have to carry it alone.
So sorry to hear about your grandfather Amy! I pray that God gives you and your family the comfort and peace only He can bring. You and baby are in my prayers daily!
*Hugs*
Ashlyn
I am so sorry about your grandpa. I wish you the best with this pregnancy. I just found out this morning at 9 weeks that my baby has died. I am heartbroken but trying to worship the Lord through my grief.
I was born the day my grandmother died, so I can tell you it was very hard on the family to celebrate both. She died unexpectedly and I was born 4 weeks early, so it took everyone by surprise. I may not have ever known her, but we are tied with a bond. My 3 child turned two the day his grandpa passed. And just a few months ago my friends funeral was on her own birthday. Life happens in strange ways.
I can totally relate. I lost my grandmother (the woman who raised me) when I was 7 months pregnant with our 2nd child. I can remember the mixed emotions so well. So much sadness, yet so much joy knowing I would deliver my first daughter in just a few months. Sending prayers your way!
3 years ago I found out I was pregnant with twins. Just two months later my only grandpa passed away and just another 2 months after that we lost one of the twins. I started out feeling very angry at God, why was He taking so much away from me at once? But let me tell you what, 3 years later I have experienced Gods hand of grace in ways I do not believe I would have if this had not of happened. God always has a purpose and a plan and its always beautiful! I will say a prayer for you on this journey! And congrats on the newest baby
how exciting!
I’m praying for you today, Amy!
As I read your blog today my heart aches for you and greatly rejoices with you. The matters of life and death are heart wrenching at times. It has taken many years to be at peace with God’s decision for me of barrenness. Truly the Lord gives and He takes away. My Father passed away when I was 6 and at 58 I still miss him. God is the Father to the Fatherless and His plans for our lives are perfect. I can honestly say these things because I know how much He loves me and sacrificed for me on the cross.
It might seem odd for me to be following your blog but I have a deep love for many children and their parents who God has brought into my life. Isaiah 54 has been a two edged sword responsible for maturing my very being.
I appreciate you and your ministry. God has given you much wisdom and a sweet and gentle spirit. Rest in His Grace. God Bless you.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Loss of someone you love is always hard even when you know they have had a long happy life. I am also very happy that you got to hear your tiny one’s heart beat and that you got his or her first picture. I had 2 appts yesterday (15weeks). The first one found the heartbeat right away and the second one the Dr really had to search for it…once he found it, it was nice and strong. But I could not help but be worried even though I had just heard it 30 minutes before.
I know how you feel, I went through a simular situation as you are right now a year ago. I was pregnant with my 7th baby and my grandma, who was more like a mother to me died 2 months before my baby was to be born. Like you we could celebrate new life within and a life lived well and now is in heaven with Jesus. I wil be praying for you and your family and your loss and to remember to celebrate life!! Thanks for sharing:)
Beautiful post! Praying grace grace for your sweet baby and with your Grandpa.
His ways are not out ways, right? I rejoice with you about your baby and will pray for peace that passes understanding for your family.
After we shortly found out we were pregnant with our 2nd child we lost my Papa Parker T. We had severla miscarriages before this also. We thought it was his way of still being with us. I am sorry for your loss but congrats on your new addtion. I beleive for every life there is a joy. For a while in our family we would lose our older generation and a new addton would arrive the next spring. The cycle of life. Congrats again.
Amy, my thoughts and prayers are with you right now. I know how that feels, except I was 5 months pregnant with our 2nd child, and my grandfather died. As a little girl, my family and I only lived one block away from him, so I saw him almost every day. Living out of state as a married woman, I didn’t get a chance to introduce him, face-to-face, to our 1st daughter (who was only19 months at the time), and he didn’t live toeven see pictures of the 2nd one. It’s tough and there are conflicting emotions, so I am lifting you up in prayer. Celebrate your baby and honor/grieve for your grandfather as best as you can do both. God bless you.
Wow! What timing this is in my life as well. First of all I’m so sorry for your losses. It is so hard to understand the why and yet we are to trust that God knows a much bigger picture than we can ever understand as long as we are here.
We have lost both of our moms over the past 3 years. My mom was just 1 year ago. They were sudden and completely unexpected. My husband and I are only 30 years old and our mom’s were just 50 and 51. This week right after we got to see our baby on an ultra sound at 4 months along….the very next day we lost my husbands grandma, just one year after my mom. My sister in law just had a miscarriage and this was very hard to take with all the loss that has been happening. But God is good and He has a way of easing heart ache in the midst of storms. Your timing for this blog is amazing especially because one other blog I read just posted something yesterday so similar to yours. If you want to read it the address is http://www.karipatterson.com
It’s a great attitude, heart and testimony for you to choose to celebrate during this time. We need more reminders for celebration….thank you!
I am sorry to hear your grandpa is dying. May the Lord comfort you and your family through this time. I am relieved to hear that your baby is doig so well! I am one week behind you in pregnancy and after losing my last baby at eoght weeks I can surely relate. The Lord works in such strange ways. Last summer my husband had a vasectomy. We have four children and felt we were through with adding to our family. In January I discovered I was pregnant and I cried! After much prayer I surendered to the Lord and was at peace with and looking forward to baby number 5. A few days later I lost the baby. So much pain! So hard to understand! But God is so good to us and I trust Him. Now we are expecting again and I have been so, so miserably sick. But praise the Lord! It means the baby is growing well. Ifit were to stop suddenly I would be really worried.
God bless you and your family! Your posts inspire me in so many ways
So sorry to hear that Amy. My last grandparent passed away last February, less than 2 months after my mom had passed. (my mom’s mother too)
Glad the baby is doing well!
I am so glad to hear that your baby is okay. And I am very sorry to hear about your grandfather.
It’s great that you got to enjoy a good part of his 94 years with him, though, and I hope his life will be forever celebrated.
Praying for you, your baby, and your family! Love in Christ!
Very moving story, thanks for sharing.
Praying for you and your family.
Hugs to you.
I can relate to this. I went into labor with my third child right as we were getting ready for my husband’s grandmother’s memorial. That experience of life and death was really hard to go through. I had spent the last month of my pregnancy anticipating a new baby but watching his grandmother die and greatly affect his family. Praying for you and your family!
My Granny was sick on and off while I was pregnant and unfortunately passed away while I was in labor (my sweet father waited to tell me until several hours after my son was born). Pregnancy plays with your emotions enough. I will be praying for you and your family!
Praying for baby’s safety, and for your own piece of mind and keeping.
And …. this is life, isn’t it …. God gives. God takes away. Let us say, ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord’. Praising God that your baby is well …
Blessings, A x
A joyful day … and a hard day. In the end, isn’t it good to be able to say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord”?
Holding you closely in my heart today, Amy.
Oh, how I wish I could respond to each of your lovely comments. Thank you all so much for the support and prayers.
I’m so pleased to hear about baby and so sad about Grampa. Life is precious at any age, preborn or senior. Thank you for the reminder.
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandpa. I so get what you are saying about life and death. It crosses my mind quite often as my mother who lives was us is ailing. I see the kids growing and thriving but then I see my sweet mother get older so quickly. Keeping you, your family, and the baby in my prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking of you. Congrats on seeing a healthy baby on the ultrasound!
Thanks for sharing! Praying for you all to have health, safety and comfort.
Congratulations on a new pregnancy! May God bless you and keep you and baby healthy and strong. Sorry about your grand father, its sad to let go of our older generation. I wish they would live on forever and share their wisdom with us, my grand mother passed away at 65, and grand father at 73, and the other grand mother at a young age of 50. I just comfort myself that I will get to see them when we all go to heaven! What joy it will be.
My heart aches for you and your family. While I don’t know you personally I know and can see your love for Christ in reading your posts that have encouraged my heart and I’ve gleaned wisdom in your posts as well. My it somehow comfort you to know that I have been praying for you and promise to continue to pray for you.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away…Job
I understand completely and was just saying the same thing to my husband a few hours ago. I lost my little boy 6 years ago ( age5), my Dad 5 years ago ( 56yo) and my grandma is celebrating her 99th birthday on Monday!! It just shows me how it’s always the Lords timing in it all. I will be praying for you.