Not too long ago, I sat in on a meeting of baby bashers. Now, they didn’t call themselves such, but the way they talked about their children and the need to get away from them, hide from them, regain their sanity after being around them sounded very much as if they did not like them.
As I watched more and more moms getting sucked into the vortex of bashing their own children, I decided I’d had enough and left. However, what was most bothersome about this gathering was it was all done in the name of “being real.”
I hear a lot of talk wherever women gather about this “being real.” It seems if you don’t bash your babies, rag on your spouse, and talk about your horrible housekeeping skills, you aren’t being real. You’re creating a facade that makes you look better than everyone else and makes other mothers feel like complete and utter failures.
While I absolutely agree we should share one another’s trials and share experiences from our own lives that might help others, when did just plain old complaining ever constitute encouraging others?
The people I look to when I need encouragement and inspiration are not those who constantly talk about how irritating their kids are or how inadequate their spouse is or how off-kilter their home is. The people I want to surround myself with are those who have joy in their struggles, who have learned lessons from their toil, and whose outlook on life is positive and purposeful. Those are the people who calm me down and lift me up…not the baby bashers.
You see, baby bashers and the like only create a world where nothing is ever right and you have to escape to get your head on straight. I don’t want that reality.
I want a reality where I learn to love my children, my spouse, my home, my homeschool, and my God more and more every day. I want to be inspired to leave the pity parties and strive toward something more excellent. I want others to know there is joy in difficulty, hope in depression, beauty in the every day, and victory in motherhood.