I’ve never been super concerned about my appearance. Even in high school, I learned to get by with the minimal amount of makeup and time getting ready because I would rather sleep in than get ready for school. In fact, some days, I wouldn’t mess with getting dressed in much more than sweats and a t-shirt for school and wait until I went out at night to really “get ready” for the day. The only exception to this was when I had to put on a cheerleading outfit for the day.
Now don’t get me wrong, I really DID care about what people thought of me and appearance was definitely a huge part of that, but I just didn’t want to take the time.
As an adult, my time became even more crunched and I began to find myself confused by what an adult Christian woman “ought” to wear and what she “ought” to look like. I tried frumpy, I tried sassy, I tried pajamas and hair piled on top of my head. None of it seemed right.
About a year and a half ago, Caroline from The Modest Mom and I teamed up to bring you the She Wears Skirts series because I knew I needed to ditch the pajamas and the idea that skirts are frumpy and learn how to dress with femininity and good taste.
But still I held to the idea that I only needed to “get ready” for the day when it was time to leave the house or Ty and I needed to go to an event. Otherwise, pajamas and a pile of hair on top of my head were the order of the day.
It wasn’t that I really WANTED to look like that day in and day out, and I must admit, I was terribly bothered by the fact that my sweet husband came home to THAT every day…not exactly the essence of freshness and beauty…but I felt I just didn’t have the time to spare. I hit the ground running every morning. How could I possibly find the time to “get ready” for the day when my day always began the moment I awoke?
Then my husband made a casual statement that set the wheels turning…
He said he loves it when my hair is all curly.
I know that seems random, but let me explain something. My hair is thick and heavy. The first day I wash it, it is quite curly, but by the next day or so, its weight pulls it into rather choppy waves that usually end up on top of my head so I can avoid actually trying to make it look like something. When Ty and I go out, I try to make sure my hair is freshly washed and styled so that it isn’t such a mess. But most days we are NOT going out and most days it IS piled on top of my head in an rat’s nest of a style, sort of like this:
Because my hair is thick I can sort of “get by” with this sort of “hairstyle”, but I realized it was saying something about me that spoke volumes. It was saying,
“I don’t care.”
And it wasn’t an honorable, turning from vanity “I don’t care”, it was a LAZY “I don’t care.” There, I said it…I was being LAZY. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time, it was that I wasn’t MAKING time. That makes that rat’s nest even more hideous, huh?
I sat in on the Botkin’s Reclaiming Beauty webinar this past Tuesday and while so many things were good food for thought, there was one little bitty comment that became the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back…the camel known as My Appearance at Home.
They made a comment about running around the house in a stained Mickey Mouse t-shirt.
Ok, so it wasn’t exactly a Mickey Mouse t-shirt I had on, but it WAS stained. That’s right…I was sitting there listening to the webinar in a stained, grungy t-shirt. And yes, my hair was piled on top of my head. My husband came home to a woman who looked like she had just drug herself out of bed.
What was I communicating to my family by looking like a tired, old, haggard mommy?
What was I communicating to my husband by greeting him in the yuckiest clothes I own?
I was saying,
“I don’t care.”
But I do. And this week I am resolved. I am resolved to get up in the mornings and take a little extra time to get dressed, fix my hair, perhaps even throw on a bit of makeup, and greet the day with a fresh perspective. A perspective that says, “I care.”
Here’s what I wore yesterday, along with the approximate time it took me to actually get ready (just to prove to myself it really isn’t that much out of my day!):
The aqua maternity shirt is one I’ve owned for years. The maternity skirt is from The Modest Mom. The shoes are ones I recently bought at WalMart (Earth Shoes). They are just a simple brown mule. I didn’t end up wearing the scarf much of the day because it was in the way, but my thought here was that “IF” I needed to head out somewhere or someone stopped by, it would be a good accessory to have at the ready.
I did wash my hair (as you can see in the photo, it was still wet) and because of that, I needed to curl my bangs. I used a curling iron I splurged on a while back after a recommendation from another blogger. I LOVE it! It heats fast and has a nice big barrel that works for my thick hair.
I also wore my apron when I worked in the kitchen to avoid greasing up my shirt. And, I did put on a slight bit of makeup.
Time: 20 minutes
I cooked breakfast in my pajamas, ate with the children, and then headed off to get ready while they tidied up and finished their morning chores.
And here’s the part that just floors me (even though it shouldn’t)…
I was much more productive than usual yesterday! I felt great. I was calmer and more prepared for my day.
So, I plan to keep going. To make it a habit. To show my family and my God that I really do care about this temple and what it says to the world about the God I serve.
Won’t you join me?