Getting the Help You Need

Read the entire series here!

Many moms feel as though they do everything by themselves and they easily burn out after a long day of barely getting by.  This is especially prevalent when moms are caring for a household of very small children who make messes and need more of mama.

Please, do not try this at home!

Before I go on, let me mention 2 kinds of frustrated mothers who have no place in your home:

The Poor-Me Mom and The Selfish Mom

Feeling sorry for yourself is never the answer and will only bring you to a place of resentment and bitterness.  You must also beware the selfish attitude that feels like you deserve to have all the free time in the world and the fact that you have all these chores to do only serves to take away from all you really want to do.

So, keep yourself in check and read on…

There are 3 major ways for the modern homemaker to get help.  Choosing at least one of these is essential to the homeschool mom because she has more on her plate than your typical stay at home mom.

  1. Help from within the family.
  2. Help from others outside the family.
  3. Help from inanimate objects.

So, let’s start with those nearest you…

Help from within the family

Sometimes all we need is a little boost from our family to get us through the day.  This could be a phone call from the husband that checks in on you, a schedule that requires the children to pitch in with chores and meals, or Grandma coming over once a week to help you catch up.

Sadly, our society has encouraged the disconnection of the family unit, and we all to often become a family of individuals who think of no one but ourselves.  It is imperative we get back to caring for each other within the home, so we can learn to care for others outside our home. It is not wrong to ask for help from your family as long as your motives are not martyrdom or laziness.  Families are meant to function as a whole and there are definitely times when one member of that whole will be weaker and need more from the others.  This is a life lesson!

Help from outside the family

I am going to say something I need you to hear loud and clear…

How can we “one-another” each other
if we never know what is going on in the lives of others?

I know, I know.  None of us want to be the “needy” one in the church, but the very fact that you are afraid of being the needy one tells me you aren’t.  Please, please, please…ask.  Or at the very least, let people know what is going on in your family so they can stand with you in prayer.

Help from inanimate objects

Years ago, I had wiser, more seasoned homeschool mom tell me the gadgets and tools of our era were our modern “servants” and we should use them to their full capacity.  If we need help, this is one very good way to get it.  We should not feel guilty if we use our dryer or use our mixer or use internet tools to help us out.  There is simply no need to be a one-woman show unless you are looking to be a one-woman basket case.

So, tell me…what do you do when you need help?  I hope I’ve given you some ideas or at least the permission to get the help you need when you need it!

This post is part of the Fall 2012 iHN Hopscotch.

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13 thoughts on “Getting the Help You Need

  1. Yes, Yes, Yes to the concept of letting our communities know when we need help. It’s the thing I miss the most about our old church. The church culture there said “We know that everyone needs help sometimes, and mothers of many small children will always need help” Teenage girls and single sisters helped out, but teenage boys did too (a couple of them built my chicken shed when my husband was swamped at work for example).

    Everyone benefited. The ones who needed help got helped and the ones who did the helping got to see how different people did things…K

  2. Thank you for sharing this… It confirmed in me that it is OKAY to ask for help… God richly bless you and yours this day…

  3. Very Encouraging! I am thankful and blessed to have a wonderful husband! He helps me get through the day with those check-in phone calls like you were talking about! As women we so often try to do everything alone, it is so nice to let go, and let the Lord handle it! He’s the one that called us to homeschool, and he’s the one I lean on to work through the day’s issues. I thank God, that He cares for me, and that He loves my children more than I do!!!

  4. I wish I had read this with my first child. He was very active and high needs and nothing I did for discipline seemed to help! I had some offers of help, but felt guilty or like I was a burden if I took people up on it. I didn’t ask for help from my husband either as I didn’t want to burden him with what I thought was my responsibility. I ended up burning out, getting very depressed, and feeling bitter towards my son. :( Thankfully, I learned a few things with my second and third children about asking for help and try to be helpful and encouraging to others in need.

  5. This is so needed and would have been such a blessing for me a number of years ago when our children were little. Even though they are big and more than half are out of the nest, there are still times when it seems there is too much to do. Maybe that is just me. I keep myself pretty busy :-) Thank you!!

  6. Love the ideas of washing machine & mixer as servants! Life seems a breeze if I think of self-scrubbing the laundry & hand-kneading the bread! (:
    Since our oldest (7) was born, my dear grandmother (85) offered to “come help” & occasionally, I would agree. But for the most part, I would still take my wee ones to her house for visits…weekly at least. After my grandfather died, 3 years ago, my perspective was finally, rightly changed…she needs us as much as we need her! It’s a great, great blessing to us for her to come, usually on Friday mornings to fold clothes & often with pockets filled with…ahem, treats for our children I wouldn’t usually permit. (: This lady is like a tornado & our home always looks transformed by the time she leaves.
    Honestly, there have been days that I thought: We really just need to get this schoolwork DONE without interuption. But again, the Lord has changed my heart. I *know* that the time spent with her (& other “interuptions”) are great blessings! After all, isn’t this why we homeschool in the first place?
    Anyhow, I would encourage any of you who have people in your lives who would love to get their hands dirty with your family…let them be knit up into the daily life of your family! Really.
    Gotta go. Grandmother will be here bright & early. I’ve got to get a pile of clean clothes ready for her. (:

  7. I may talk to my husband, I may ask for the kids help, but I pray. It is so strange how the verse “Ye have not because ye ask not” is true! It is stranger still, how the circumstances may not change after the prayer, but the work seems to get done faster and better. The hardest thing in the house for me to keep tidy is my desk, my “launch pad”. Many times I have sat down to go through my desk, piles ready to avalanche over the sides, and I just prayed over it. Asking God’s forgiveness for allowing this mess to accumulate… again… then start at it. In a much shorter amount of time than I expected, its done. Each time I ask myself, “Why didn’t I think of that sooner?!”