Ask Amy – Older Moms

Being an Older Mom | RaisingArrows.netA reader asked:  I am 38 years old and we are trying for number 5. I am a little nervous about being 39 at delivery. If you don’t mind my asking, I was wondering how old you are? How have your pregnancies/deliveries changed with age? After delivery, about how long to you take off before starting back with school?

Now, I want to start this post by saying, I don’t feel like an “older mom” at all!  I will be 36 shortly after this baby arrives and I’m really not sure that qualifies me as older, but since I have quite a few lovely streaks of white dappling my hair (and I’m starting to notice them in my husband as well), I guess perhaps it is time for me to face the facts that I am getting “older” and some day I might be an older mom. ;)  The day someone suggests I am my own child’s grandmother is the day I know I’ve arrived!  For now, I’m still getting the, “You look too young to have 8 children.”  To which I reply…THANK YOU!!!!

So, for this post, I’ll give you my own personal experience along with a mix of experiences from friends of mine to give you an idea of what being an older mom is like.  (For a point of reference, it also might be helpful to know I had my first child at 21.  I had 4 children in my 20’s and this will be my 4th child in my 30’s.)

Is pregnancy harder?
My answer:  Not particularly.  I do think I’m slower and weaker physically, but for me difficult pregnancies have had very little to do with my age and very much to do with the time of year I’m giving birth.  Summer babies are very hard for me.  I have heard a lot of people say pregnancy in their 40’s was more difficult than in their 30’s, so I might just not be “old enough” yet.

Answers from some of my “older” friends who did feel it was harder:
Morning sickness was harder and longer.
Had to watch carbs/sugars more.
Fatigued easier during pregnancy.
Dealt with Gestational Diabetes for the first time.
Dealt with high blood pressure for the first time.
Pre-pregnancy weight being higher was a factor.
Felt weaker.
Body ached more.
More pelvic and rib pain.
3rd Trimester was harder.
Took longer to recover.

However, nearly ALL said the trade-off was that they were more laid back, knew their bodies better, and were less stressed with a newborn.  I can definitely vouch for that!

Several of my friends also said while the pregnancies were harder, the deliveries were not.  I agree with this statement as well.  My deliveries have definitely gotten easier.

I also want to quickly address the “risks” so many older moms hear about.  According to my OB, many of the “risks” are skewed by studies that do not take into account other factors…like abortion.  The latest statistic I heard on abortions due to a baby being diagnosed with Down Syndrome was 92%!  These are NOT all women in their 30’s and 40’s by any means.  Thus, the data ends up skewed.

The one risk my OB said does go up with age is the chance of developing Gestational Diabetes.  However, she said everyone’s risk toward diabetes goes up with age, pregnant or not, because our bodies have a harder time metabolizing sugars.

So, when am I ready to jump back in to my “regular life”, including school?  Usually within 2 weeks.  But, that is me and not necessarily the “norm”.  My body quickly realizes it is no longer pregnant and everything normalizes.  If I don’t get back to my regular routine, I feel a little cagey.  However, many women need way more time than that.  You have to listen to YOUR body and decide what YOUR body is telling you.  There is no “right” answer.

I want to leave you with something our pastor said this past week at church.  He is a 46 year old dad of 7 who was recently told he was too old to keep having children.  While he acknowledges his body is weaker and achier and he can’t do some of the things he did with his older children, he said,

“If God had intended our youngest child to be raised the same way our oldest child was raised, he would have given him to me first, rather than 7th.  God knew Z____ needed to be parented in the way I parent now and T____ needed to be parented in the way I parented then.”

I love this!  God is sovereign over all.  Even the order, gender, and number of children He gives us is by design!  So, if the Lord blesses you with a child when you are older, there is no need to fear.  He knows what He is doing!

Have a blessed weekend and take the time to hug all your “babies” and let them know just how loved they are!

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58 thoughts on “Ask Amy – Older Moms

  1. I love those wise words from your pastor! Thank you for your commentary on this. I just had my fifth baby and undoubtedly my last in my 20s. I am curious as to what pregnancy (should the Lord choose to bless us with more) will be like in my 30s & 40s. You only hear the negative so it’s exciting to hear some positives. I felt less “cute” this pregnancy than I had in past pregnancies. You don’t see people fawning over an older pregnant woman the way you do younger ones. Not that that really matters but I just think it is all interesting.

  2. LOVE the quote from your pastor!!! I have 7 children. The oldest is 19 and youngest 2 are 2 and 3. I definitely parent the younger ones differently. I am more laid back. My oldest has made comments in the past about my parenting style changing (and not in an encouraging way). This quote is a perfect way to answer him!! Thanks!

    BTW, I am one of those older moms too. I had my first at 20 and my last at 37. WAY harder at 37 than 20 with pregnancy. As far as parenting I would say I am an easier mom in my late 30’s (40 in May!) than I was in my 20’s. In my 20’s I always felt eyes were on me and I had something to prove. Now I don’t care so much.

  3. Amy, thank you so much for this! It was encouraging! We have 8 children all by adoption. We updated our homestudy by faith because we trust God for our family size the same as we would if we were physically fertile. We are 44 yrs old. Most our age are becoming empty nesters. Our oldest child is 15, & our youngest (for now) is 6. We are so blessed! We are so happy that we left our family in God’s wonderful hands! It is always safe to trust in Him! He does everything well! We have full confidence in Him! <3 God bless you, dear friend!!! * Ps 113:9 * II Cor 9:6-8 * Is 26:3

  4. I love the insight of your pastor and cannont wait to share it with my mom. I’m sure she will agree wholeheartedly. I have three siblings, and the youngest brother came along as a surprise when my mom was 42. My sister, brother and I were teenagers, and saw how differently our youngest brother was parented (he’s 19 now and turned out fine). We used to tell our parents that they let him get away with things we never did, but they were much more relaxed. They also were not trying to manage three little ones. I now have 5 kids, and I’m expecting #6 in March. I can already see how I’ve changed since the first one. I’ve learned how important Matthew 6:33 is everyday, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” When I take the time to seek Him first, He gives me the wisdom I need for each day.
    Thank you for sharing pieces of you life. It is always a blessing to read your blog. May the Lord bless you with your new little one!

  5. I was 28 when I got married and 32 when my first child was born. Then 34 when my first child was born. Therefore I do not have a preganacy in my 20’s to compare with. I was not supposed to be able to have children so I prepared for a demanding career. Then I am so grateful that the doctors were wrong. I was diagnosed with diabetes and put on metformin. This made me fertile. So My pregnancies were high risk from the start. Then I can not deliver in the normal way do to some other issues (tried, but ended up having emergency c-sections). I have found pregancies to be exhausting and emotional and recovery painful. I am not sure it has anything to do with age. I had an OB who had a large family (14 children) and he recommended we stop growing our family unless we adopt due to multiple health issues– also my husband was disabled until brain surgery five years ago and whenever I would be preganant things in his life would get worse. So we stopped getting pregnant. So I don’t have the over 40 pregnancy experience. However, in my opinion age is only one factor and so many more things effect it to say that age is what makes things harder.

  6. Hi Amy,

    I just wanted to give you a slightly different perspective. Alas, I am an older mum. My eldest DS was born when I was 36 and my DD was born when I was 40. My DH is 7 years older than me (although no one would ever believe it!), so I think we are definitely both older parents!

    There was a massive change for me over my 3 pregnancies – the final one actually had me bedridden for the last 10 weeks, just because my aging frame could not keep going. It has also been much harder to recover from this one, probably because DH is older, too.

    Having said that, DD was not planned. Not that we didn’t want her – oh no! It is just, as we say, God gave her to us, even without us asking. I totally agree with your pastor – God knows what each of us needs. He knows when to give us what children, both for them and for us.

    Blessings for your birth!

  7. I am on the other end of the spectrum, as a very young mom. My first two children were born in my teens, and I am due in 5 weeks with my third to be born in my twenties (I am 24). This pregnancy has been much more difficult than any of the last 4 have been and I am quite certain that closely spaced pregnancies and the fact that I had let my own health go before this baby was concieved have far more to do with the additional issues than my age. Just my 2 cents worth!

  8. I really needed to hear this. Right now, we have 4 children. My heart is very much open to having more. My husband is “content either way”. He had a vasectomy right after our twins were born. It was more of a pressured decision that we regretted instantly. Literally, as we walked out of the doctors office.

    After much prayer and consideration, we got a reversal. That was a year and a half ago. 8 years after the initial procedure. I can feel my husbands heart starting to lean toward actually wanting more instead of being “content either way” but unfortunately it seems the surgery did not work.

    He is willing to try again with a different surgeon that uses a different method once some things are in order. My heart doesn’t want that! I want it now. God and I have a lot of talks about this situation. :) Its so hard to just sit back and wait. Especially because I feel like I am getting older. I know I have many more years to conceive but not as long as I would like.

    So anyway, all that to say thanks for your post. It was encouraging to me this morning.

  9. I am a mommy of 9 at 34 and I would have to agree with everything you said, Amy. I guess I’m not “old” but I’m headed that way. Not many people have children into their forties, so I would say that we’re on the end of the world’s spectrum anyway : ) Thanks for all of your encouraging blog posts!

    Shalom,
    Julie

  10. Love the quote from your pastor! We had our sixth, and (so far) last baby when I was 42 and my husband was 49. When my husband (who doesn’t really look old) came to visit us people asked if he was there to visit his grandchild. I looked around….and what I saw was a lot of young/teen moms and their partners…not husbands. I still have the desire for more children and I am 45. My husband is a bit worried about being an “older” dad if we have any more and worries about what would happen to me and my body with another pregnancy. (I have been pregnant 9 times and have had 5 c-sections) I did have gestational diabetes for the first time with my last baby….which was hard….I ached more….which was hard….but, I don’t regret it….I would go through it again, if the Lord so wished.

  11. Wonderful post, Amy! I particularly like your pastor’s quote – so true.

    I’ve had babies in my 20’s (2), 30’s (4) and 40’s (2). Our last was born when I was 45. One factor that I haven’t heard mentioned is that the older your other children are, the more help you have! I don’t remember being more tired in my forties pregnancies, but it’s probably because I got more regular naps than I did in my twenties because I had lots of people to help me watch the littles!

    When I look at the joy our youngest has brought into our family, I want to beg people not to worry about pregnancy in your forties – it is worth more than you can imagine!

    Much love,
    Melanie

    • I totally agree about having more help! My oldest can run the household single-handedly if need be and that has been a huge blessing during those times when I just do not feel good.

  12. I wish there was a like button after each sentence. I am just a year “younger” than you and am days if not moments from having our 5th child. One thing I can say with confidence now, is that all pregnancies are different. You will have some norm things, but your first pregnancy will not in the least dictate your others. I will be 35 in about 2 months. This pregnancy has been my most exhausting, I think I had 3 weeks somewhere in month 7, that I did not need a nap everyday. Then again, I was never pregnant and homeschooling with a 8 yr, 6 yr, 4 yr, and 2 yr old. also, i have had a lot of pelvic pressure and pain, but I never had a baby plant themselves at the edge of my cervix, requiring him to be to spend all 39 weeks in the cradle of my pelvic.

    I am slower at 34, than I was at 26. But at 26 prego with my first, I couldn’t even feed myself in the first trimester, because i was so tired. I didn’t miss a meal to be made for my family of 6 during this trimester. I think it has more to do with the fact, that my family has to eat and I did not have the luxury of by passing dinner preparations.

    My favorite comment, is that deliveries get easier. I agree, even though being just moments from it with some nice cramping, equivalent to a menstrual cycle, I am not much excited at the prospect of it. but I know what my body can do and I have learned to be so much calmer with each delivery.

    Thank you for this post!!!

      • We sure are. the crazy thing is this was my longest and best birth. did this one at home in a pool had very little pain until the very end, it was relaxing too. simply amazing. to make a point also, even though this was my 5th, he did not just slide out, like everyone likes to tell me, this was the first one to be pulled out once he got to the shoulders.

  13. I just had my fourth at 39, fatigue was a big issue but only during first and third trimester. I actually feel I have more energy with this one and I’m already to have another, my baby is 3 months. I’ve been wondering if I’m crazy till I read this post. So thankful for you sharing your thoughts and words from your pastor.

  14. I am getting ready to have my 9th in Marchadn I will be 39. I feel it is a little different from when i had my first when I was 22.

    The one thing about being an older mom is you are more relaxed adn comfortable with what is goign on.I am thankful that the Lord has seen fit to bless us again. I will admit I am almost to my 3rd trimester and I can feel that I am already beginning to get tired, but the Lord is good and he will see me through.

    I think age is just what you make of it so if the Lord blesses us in our 40’s I will gladly accept another blessing. We as women who are listening to the Lord need to trust him and not worry about our age and what the world thinks.

    By the way today is my birthday and i am 39 and i think it is exciting that at this agae I am still able to grow and nourish a baby.

    Blessings to all, Susan

  15. I’m an “older mom”. I am 38 years old and 9 weeks away from delivering my 8th baby. Here is what I have experienced….Amy is correct physically it may be a little harder, I’m a little achier than in my teens (my first was born when I was 19) and 20’s but, emotionally it’s easier. While I experienced a lot of the same aches and discomforts in my 20’s I’ve just kind of settled in and accepted these discomforts better in my late 30’s. In my 20’s I would complain and say “I’m not having any more kids” just because I had bad insomnia and back pain. Now I know that these little inconveniences are worth it.

    Higher risk of birth defects … I don’t fret about it. God knows what He’s doing.

    Labor and delivery….easier than my first 3 pregnancies in my 20’s. Since I’ve stopped using any type of pain medication during labor and delivery my labor start to finish is about 3 hours. I’m only in pain for about the last hour and a half.

    Recovery…I still recover quickly. I’m usually wanting and ready to leave the hospital about 3-4 hours after delivery. I get really bored in a hospital room for 2 days.

    Time off of homeschool….depends upon the health of the baby. If we have jaundice that requires lab appointments and home health treatment we’ll take about 2 weeks off. Every homeschool is different and I would recommend not feeling guilty for taking time off of school for new babies. Isn’t learning to take care of a new little one educational as well? It is a great opportunity for siblings to learn lots of new skills and character traits.

      • It seems like the older I get the faster my pregnancies go. I can’t believe I’m only 9 weeks away from meeting our new little guy.

        I remember being so young and arrogant. I told everyone that I was going to have all my children born by the time I was 25 because I didn’t want to be an “old” mom. And we did. I delivered our 3rd when I was 24 and my husband had a vasectomy 6 weeks later. In our arrogance we forgot to seek God’s wisdom. We were not prepared for the heartache that foolish decision would cause. For 7 years we were sad and then my husband decided to have reversal surgery. It was successful and since that surgery in 2006 we have had been blessed with 5 more little ones. Our house in loud and at times chaotic but, I love being an old mom! To think I almost missed it because of selfish arrogance. God is good!

  16. Thank. You! This so encouraged me, as I just turned 36 and we are trying for number 4. (I had my first two – twins – at 30) I’ve started to feel insecure about my age, plus it’s taking awhile for me to get pregnant. It took a year to get pregnant with the twins, and four months with number 3; I think I assumed that this time around it would happen even faster, but God has His own plan and timing! ;-) I just keep coming back to the moment when the Lord spoke to my heart that He wanted us to try to have another baby…He wasn’t so concerned with my age, so I guess I shouldn’t be either. :-)

  17. I love this! I am 33 and pregnant with my fith. I don’t think I’m older…but my family (who coincidentally didn’t want me to have more than 2 or 3 children) DOES think I am an older mom! Thank you for your encouragement and now at least I have a few more responses when they mention my deterioration! lol

  18. I had my first baby at 38, which was Olivia, who is now my 11 year old (In your Keepers group). Our 3 older girls are adopted foster children. My experience having my first at 38 — amazing!!!!! Perhaps I loved every second of it so much because of the fact that we’d tried to conceive for 14 years! I did have morning (all day) sickness very strong for the first 11 weeks, peaking at about week 7, but then felt wonderful all the way up to the day I delivered, which was just one day before her due date. I gained 40 lbs, but since I started at 95 lbs, it was fine. Was all off in 2 months after I had her, which bummed me out because I was hoping to keep at least an extra 10 lbs….
    The only little glitch in my pregnancy was this… I’d had a test with an elevated fetal protein (can’t remember what it’s called “AFP?”), so had been told by my doctor that it indicated the possibility of Down’s…I told her it didn’t matter. I told no one about that, not even my husband, quickly put it out of my mind, and delivered a beautiful, perfectly healthy little girl full term. When I think of all the people who abort when they get that elevated test back, it’s makes me so sad to think of all the little lives being taken, and whether they would have been a child with Down’s or not, irrelevant, they were a precious life that God had made.
    I love your blog :)

  19. Love the post. I’m 39 we have 7 children. The oldest is 20 and getting married in April and the youngest will be one next Thursday. I was 19 when I had our first and 38 when our last was born. We do hope the Lord besses us with many more! We do get alot of negative comments about our ages especially mine when we mention having more children. I’m told we should stop before we have a baby with downs or some other “defect”. My question to those people is “do you think God makes mistakes”? If we have a child with something wrong with him or her then it’s what the Lord wants for our family. We wouldn’t look at it being a mistake that should have been murdered in the womb. We love all of our children and love all those yet to be born. We have had people to ask us if our little ones were our gradchildren! I think thats because our oldest two are girls and there is so many teenagers pregant out there that most people think thats the norm. Since our oldest is getting married in a few months, we could become pregant around the same time! Which I think would be so neat but I can only guess what the comments will be! There are so few people out there that see children as blessings from the Lord, it makes me wounder do they ever read their Bible? As far as being an older mom, there are advantages to being older as well as being a younger mom. When your yonger you have more energy to run around with them but when your older your a little bit slower. It may have more to do with how physically fit you are no matter what your age is. I love reading about your family and I hope you have a safe and fast delivery! Happy New Year!

  20. I’m 37 & expecting my 7th child any time. I’m feeling the aches & pains of the third trimester much more than I ever have. It also astounds me emotionally and mentally that when this new baby is the age of my oldest now, at 15, my oldest will be 30. And I will be 52!

  21. I loved this! My husband is getting a reversal in a few months and I have been a nervous about getting pregnant again, since I am 34. Reading this made me feel a little better :) Thank you!!!

  22. I love this post. I am the daughter of a late in life mom and dad. they were both 40 when they “accidentally” had me 9 years after a vasectomy. lol God is awesome.

    My only concern with having late in life babies is taking into account family health history. I address this fact because I’m now 28 and my dad was diagnosed with Degenerative Dementia – Alzheimer’s related. He’s 66. Granted that not every family will deal with this, but having kids late in life means dealing with the growing older issues when they’re in their 20’s or younger depending on your age when you have them. I understand that it is most definitely a faith and God walk. I get that, but at the same time please think about what comes later.
    It’s a hard thing for me to think about. I still feel so young life experience wise and, while I didn’t admit it as a teenager, I *need* my parents. They are chalk full of wisdom and Godly advice. I love them dearly. I feel as though we are facing a harsh reality right now. My dad is dealing with such a physical challenge. Not to mention right when I’m having kids (preggo with our 4th right now). It’s sad that he will miss out on playing with them! Not to mention my mom is losing her husband to a devastating disease and that is hard to watch as well. I cannot guess what God’s plans surrounding it all, but I can definitely tell you that unless it’s in God’s plans for us… I do not plan on having kids that late in life. I don’t want to put them through, what I see happening.

    I hope this post will be taken in love for what it is.. the views from the daughter. Perhaps not all are the same. Prayers would be appreciated for our family. Strength and peace for my mom. Healing for my dad.

    • My parents were also older when I was born my dad was 43 and my mom was 35. In school most of the other childrens parents were younger than mine. Usually their grandparents were my parents ages! I swore I would never have children after 35, but 35 dosen’t seem that old once you get there and pass it! We have left the decision up to the Lord with how many he will bless us with and I admit that I’ve wounder what I’ll do if I’m pregnant in my 40’s or even 50’s. But I just have to trust the Lord in all the things He has planned for our life. My parents are now 82 and 74 and are still in good health. I know that when the time comes and they need more care, having alot of grandchildren there to help will be a blessing. I know the younger ones wont have the memories with their grandparents like the older ones do. But thats one of the great things about homeschooling is that they get to spend more time with them than if they were in public school. Also it would be great if you could video tape your dad telling stories to your children or writing them letters so they would have those things when they grow up. I know having dementia and especially at such an young age (66) is hard on the family. I’ll be praying for you and your family. God bless you.

      • Thankyou for the prayers. We’re also a military family so while we do home school, we’re not able to be around them. I get to see them about once a year. We get to skype and do facetime but my dad as a flat affect. Definitely not who he used to be. Just rails against the gov now. Which is funny in it’s own way. Not kid friendly though. He’s only been diagnosed with his dementia as having it for maybe 4 years, but it’s already to the point of not being able to read/write. Sounds like an excuse but I promise it’s just how it is. He was a highly intelligent man who would invent things to make his life easier. Not so much these days. Again, thank you for your prayers!

    • You have my prayers and understanding. My father was 52 when I was born. He also suffered from Alzheimer’s and died at 82…4 years after the initial diagnosis. I did grow up in fear that my dad would die because of his age, but I can also look back now (nearly 6 yrs since his death) and see how God used my father’s illness in his later years to teach all us many lessons. I am thankful for my older father because he was quite mellow compared to the stories I hear from my older siblings. ;) I miss my dad dearly, but I’m glad he was “ok” with having a baby so late in life. :)

  23. I was saved at 31, married soon after turning 33. I had 4 pregnancies in my 30’s (two were miscarriages) and two more full-term children at ages 40 and 42. It was not harder physically in my forties, except that I had a lot of varicose veins (inherited) from six pregnancies. I had to wear medical support hose the whole pregnancy the last two times, due to severe pain from the veins. The pain mostly subsided after delivery.

    I am not more tired either (now at age 46.5) with children ages 10 (11 in two weeks), 9, 6, 4. My husband was fifty when our last was born and he got a vasectomy soon after. He had lost his job and also has ADHD and depression. The more children we added the harder it was on him. I believe the vasectomy was not God’s will and I did want more children. He still has not found a job as good as the other one (two part-time jobs and no insurance) and we struggle financially a lot since we also homeschool and I stay home.

    I wish his faith was greater and I do wonder if we would still be struggling so much financially if we had left our family size up to God. Of course the economy has something to do with it. Unemployment numbers aren’t accurate because so many had to take multiple part-time jobs to make ends meet. They don’t count as the unemployed, but they work very hard for next to nothing with not even sick time or holiday pay.

    General faith, as well as saving faith, is a spiritual gift and we can’t all have it. I have the gift of faith and of course he has other gifts I don’t have. I do not hold the decision against him because he did pray about it and felt it was necessary. Since it was a spiritual decision I felt I could only give my perspective but not interfere.

    The endometriosis I had in my twenties has returned and gets worse with each cycle, and that too, probably wouldn’t have happened had I kept having babies. Getting pregnant and nursing until the next pregnancy happens (or beyond if desired) keeps endometriosis at bay and one’s fertility at its best. I really believe our health and everything else is at its best when we allow God to plan our futures, including our family size. That is not to say he can’t bless us anyway, but the blessings are perhaps less than if we gave him full reign in our lives? He is so gracious and loving that he makes delicious lemonade from the not-so-good, lemon decisions we make. Much fruit has come to me spiritually as a result of financial struggle. I wouldn’t change that part of my life.

    Some might wonder at fertility in the 40’s. My sister was finished with menopause at age 47.5. Menopause refers to having no periods for 12 consecutive months. My mother reached this at about 51. I am 46.5 and still seem to ovulate every month on time. I do still nurse and I wonder if that keeps my cycles regular. Fertility varies a lot more than I thought it did in women over forty, but I do think nursing as long as possible keeps it at its maximum. (Don’t quote me since I haven’t studied this–just a hunch).

    I do have people stare at me a lot when I shop will all four children. That is partly because even a small family of 4 is unusual nowadays. But it is also because of my wrinkles and older-looking eyes. (The eyes give it away more than anything, it seems.) Thankfully they look enough like me that I don’t often get spoken grandmother questions. When I do start getting them, it will bruise my vanity, but it’s just another part of trusting God. He loves me no matter how wrinkled I am and He saw fit to make me an older mother. And as the other commenter mentioned, God does not make mistakes (only we do).

    I will pray, Amy, for a healthy baby, quick recovery and no colic. Blessings to you.

  24. Thanks Amy! I needed to hear this today. I am 39 and pregnant with number 6. I used to do fine with the pregnancy and be worried about how life would go when the baby arrived. As I have become older I am only worried about making it through the aches and pains of pregnancy and know that when the baby comes that part we can easily handle. We have become much more laid back parents as we have gotten older and our babies seem much less uptight as well. The part that I struggle with the most is that most of our friends are done having babies and we are in this stage alone so it is good to hear from other “older” moms.

  25. I just had my 5th and I am 41. I have to say this was one of my easiest Pregnancies! I have no idea why. My body bunced back quickly. I had no complications. I did have to go through the summer, which was no fun but it wa still a great pregnancy. My varicose veins look horrible after this one though. I think it was simply God’s grace for me. The greatest thing about having a baby now is that I am so much more relaxed. I love it! It also helps that my older children are a great help. I wouldn’t say I am an older mom. I feel great! My OB also told me that I could keep having kids and that age really doesn’t play that big of a part. It’s your health. I am a firm believer in working out and eating healthy as well.

  26. I had my first daughter at 40 and the second at 42. I never felt younger or more alive than during those years. I’m 58 now and my teens are doing well, and I still look back on those years with fond memories and I know I was a stronger mother than I would have been in my 20s, by far. I was a late bloomer. :) I glowed just as much, if not more, than many people in our church at the time who were pregnant and less than thrilled to be.

    Yes, I was tired, had morning sickness, high BP with one, but we were fine. I was told one stood a strong chance of Down syndrome. She was fine and we pressed on. God was there every step of the way and I would still do it all again. I enjoy life with them and my age means nothing. I make every effort to keep up with what they are doing, and be involved in their lives while giving them the freedom they need.

    They changed my life at the time that God wanted it to happen. They are truly a gift from above and a blessing.

  27. I love reading all the comments. I just figure that we serve a mighty God and if He didn’t think that Abraham and Sarah were “too old” than I’m thinking all of you moms that are pregnant in your late 30’s and your 40’s are doing just fine! I remember when my sister got pregnant with her 3rd at age 38. It was not what they were planning and she was panicking thinking that she would probably be a grandma before that baby would leave the nest. Well, at that time I remember I kept seeing all these magazine covers at the store telling about these Hollywood moms that were my sister’s age and they were pregnant…. for the first time! If you’re a famous career woman then it’s totally normal & expected. I reassured my sister that she was going to be fine, and at least she wasn’t just starting. But even then, my friend is 42 and she has a 3 yr. old and a 1 yr. old and she’s loving it. We have a male friend that just became a dad last month at age 43. He’s over the moon. BTW, that baby my sister had is now almost 10 and she is joyfully cheering him on as he plays in a hockey tournament this weekend in Canada. He’s keeping her young! And I’m so thankful God added him to our family. Blessings to all you “not-so-older” moms. Way to go! I wish I wouldn’t have stopped when I did. You are all blessed. :)

  28. I really enjoyed reading this post. I had my my first two children at 25 and 28, and my last two at 34 and 37. I can definately say the pregnancies were easier. Some days it’s hard to keep up my my almost teen of 13 and my 10yo boy, especially since I work full time, but they keep me feeling young!

  29. I am due(in about 10 weeks) with my 8th baby and I’m 40. I’ll be turning 41 shortly after this baby arrives. I had my first 3 babies in my 20’s. The main difference for me is that I could handle the ‘sleepless nights’ better when I was in my 20’s than I can now that I’m 40. I probably do have a few more aches & pains as well, but I know my body better.

    One thing I sometimes think about is how ‘old’ I will be when they are all grown and leave home. I had another mom of 7 tell me that I will never have an ‘empty nest’ because I’ll be surrounded by grandkids. I hope so!

    I appreciate what your pastor said. Even though I can’t handle the sleepless nights very well, I now have a 15yr old daughter who can get up get breakfast going & let me sleep if I’ve had a rough night with the new baby!

  30. I am a mom of 7 children ages 15 to 1 and just found out we are expecting again! I turned 40 last May so this will be our first over age 40 :) but I recently lost 45 pounds just before getting pregnant through eating healthier so I am looking forward to seeing if I feel better throught this pregnancy, I know I feel MUCH better now that I am not overweight anymore and eating better! I read somewhere that eating healthy foods helps pregnant woman to not be so sick since there are not as many toxins in your body, we will see what happens! Thanks Amy – for a great post, I don’t FEEL older either, my kids keep me young and active! But I do have some white hairs poking through also. I do however feel much wiser in my parenting since I have been doing it so long now :) There is always more to learn as a mom and I will never have it all figured out!

    At your promting I just finished reading When You Rise Up by RC Sproul Jr it was so good!!! I loved what he said on page 126…
    “I am, however, equipped to raise servants of the King.” [rather than servants of the state] “I know that because the King keeps giving me servants to raise.”

    Also have you read anything by Marilyn Howshall from Wisdom’s Way of Learning, I think you would like her also!

    • Lori,
      You will have to keep me updated on how different you feel having lost so much weight! Congratulations!!! And I have read through some of Marilyn’s site. I’ll have to see if I can get my hands on some of her books! Thanks for the recommendation!

      • You might check vegsource.com/homeschool I just got 9 of Marilyn’s books used on there from someone for $30
        otherwise the only way to get them is through her website as pdf’s and they are not cheap.

  31. Hi Amy! I don’t think you are an older mom at all! I have 5 children from ages 2-17. My first at 25 any my youngest (hopefully not last) at 39. I was a little nervous being pregnant at 38. All the stuff you read and hear out there. I tried to put it aside and keep my eyes on the Lord. I hope and pray to conceive again and absolutely have heartache at the thought of not! My parents don’t understand and think I am crazy, as I myself am an only child.

    I must add though the pressure I got to get “fixed” from others, including my doctor. I will not ever alter my body to make life easier or whatever. Here’s to us moms who keep trusting the Lord when the world tells us not to.

  32. Thanks for this post. I will be 43 this month and am almost 11 weeks into my 8th pregnancy (two were early miscarriages). My youngest (born when I was 40) is a beautiful girl with Down syndrome. My husband and I are trusting God with our family, and I have to say it is a walk of faith, especially after having a child with special needs! I don’t yet know the health of this child that I’m carrying, but I do know Who is knitting him or her together. In terms of differences, I am having a very hard pregnancy in terms of morning sickness–harder than I can remember having before; maybe that’s my age. Anyway, mainly I just wanted to address the question about “risks”: every child is an eternal soul made in His image. No disability changes that. The only risk we take is whether or not to trust His wisdom. Believe me, I know it’s not easy! It is a daily walk. After I delivered my youngest the nurse (God provided a Christian!) wrote on the memo board under Plan for the Day: “TRUST.” So as an alternative to the answer about risks being, well, it’s unlikely that this will happen to you … is the answer that God is in charge and He only does what He knows in His infinite wisdom and love for us is best! We can’t put our trust in statistics; we can put our trust in Him. He has drawn me so much closer to Himself through my daughter with Ds I would not change anything and I could not love her any more than I do.

  33. Be at peace, moms of all ages. I had my 8th child when I was 40 and my ninth when I was 45. My last pregnancy was my easiest: many older helpers around the house to enable me to put my feet up more often and a great exercise program. The age factor is not as cut and dry regarding “problems” during pregnancy as modern information would like you to believe. How many young moms do you know that have had problems? No one points to their age. Take care of yourself, as Amy said, listen to your body and find a doctor who believes that your baby is precious whether he is number 1 or number 10. God is more than enough.

  34. Loved this post….I had baby number 10 the year I turned 42…..my husband was 50…we don’t really feel like Old Parents, I think we are better parents because we are more sure of our convictions and even more secure in who we are. As far as the pregnancies go I don’t think they were so bad…but I love being pregnant :)