Recently, I watched a woman unleash her frustration and anger on her children in a very public place. I remember thinking how if this was how she was behaving with a crowd of onlookers, how much worse it must be for those children at home.
Why do I know this? Because we are all a tad bit different, more guarded, more prettied up while in public than we are at home. Our public facade is never an exact copy of our private truth.
Sometimes, our private truth is nearly an exact opposite of what we pretend to be when in public.
Today, I want to encourage you to start bringing your private life in line with your public life. No, I don’t mean start airing all your dirty laundry in the name of being “real.” I mean recognize the areas you need help in and start asking the Lord to help you overcome those struggles, get through the rough spots, and heal the brokenness so that who you pretend to be in public is no longer a charade.
And if you need accountability for who you are in private, find someone who will be there for you in a solidly Biblical way. Someone who will be honest with you, who will build you up and encourage you from Scripture.
Friends, the Lord changes lives every day. He wants your public testimony to line up with your private life. He wants others to see His glory through your victory.
Today, I am praying for you.
Laurie says
Dear Amy, busy as you are, would you lift me up by name today? Thank you so much.
Amy says
absolutely! Doing so now.
Laurel says
A few years ago, I was shopping for clothes. There was a woman shopping in the same store who was with her friends and baby about six months old. The baby was sitting on the floor of the store, crying. All of a sudden, the mother of the baby started yelling and cursing at her. A baby.
I try to remember that moment every time I get frustrated with my children. After all, they are only children once. Like me, they are imperfect. I try to embrace their flaws instead getting angry.
Amy says
Amen!
Megan says
This really spoke to my heart, Amy! Praise God that He changes lives. He is mighty to save and transform hearts. I am also convicted by this. One of my children has really been struggling with defiance lately, and goodness, last week I didn’t handle it well. I was that mom you were talking about in the beginning! I want to be changed to a gentle mom this week. Hope you have a great week enjoying that sweet little guy! My youngest is 3 months old and oh my goodness, he just melts my heart.
Elizabeth Ours says
One idea that has helped me is to pretend I live in a glass house — where everyone can see in at all times! 🙂 I plan to blog about that one day! 🙂
Elizabeth Ours says
Am I missing the link up today??
Amy says
I haven’t updated my WordPress yet and I forgot it strips the code. It is up now.
Emily Q says
So true. Not only does is remind US to be gentle and kind in private as well in public, it serves as a reminder maybe not to be so quick to judge. How many times have we wanted to turn up our nose at the frazzled mother in the store? I try to remind myself I might just be catching her on her worst of worst moments. How has her day been so far? Does she have support at home? What battles is she facing. It keeps us in check to keep our eyes on Jesus and not what we see or think we see of others.
Lori Poppinga says
This is so very true. I have moms ask if they could be a fly on the wall to see how we do things in a large family~and while I give them some chore ideas or talk about meal plans and such…for the most part I am pretty sure that “watching” me for a day would be eye-opening but not necessarily “helpful” in how to run their home more smoothly. My friend always used to joke that my kids made me look good in public…and that’s all that mattered! She was just kidding, but often we feel that way~as long as I make a good impression here or speak softly when out and about~but we aren’t really fooling anyone…most of all our kids who see us in all our moments~good, bad and ugly. Thanks for this reminder to work at the unseen parts of my life. I think it is great to be real~but in Christ~I am a work in progress with all that entails.
Keep up the God work.
Jodie says
This comment so closely echoes my own thoughts. It is my children and God who see me all the time and that is the “impression” that counts. I do feel that “acting calm” when I’m out and about does help me get through the challenging times (grizzles, tantrums, runaways! etc). If this gives anyone the impression that I am always a lovely calm creature – that’s a bonus!
Amy says
There are a lot of assumptions made about large families. I’m not super mom. I’m a work in progress just like every other mom out there. 🙂
Laura says
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not socially acceptable but I tend to be the same whether in private or in public. My children need me to be consistant in both places.
Josi says
Oops, just lost my comment. In summary this post was convicting, especially after the weekend I had with my family. I was less than lovely! I need Jesus to keep transforming my heart.
Marthe says
I’ve been reading (lurking… lol) for about two months being encouraged and convicted at the same time. But this post… I had to comment. Wow… talk about the Lord using you to convict me and confirm what He told me already. Friday, after a frustrating week of homeschooling and a devastating financial loss due to an oversight on my part (think previous school loans and tax return… painful interception), I lost it and unleashed on the kids. My most challenging child answered back with a teary-eyed “Mama, you don’t love me.” Those words hit me like a MACK Truck. I hated myself for causing her to even think that when it’s so so very far from the truth. You see, my family is “that” family at church that everyone looks at that has it together, yet, at home, especially now that the kids are older (twin 10 yr old girls and 7 yr old boy), our home life was falling apart. For years we’ve kept the facade up, looking great on the outside but a mess on the inside. It has been so overwhelming lately that the flood gates of tears have ran down at church… and that is so not me… I’m a very private person when it comes to my emotions. Something, everything had to change. All I could do was cry out to the Lord ask for His help and guidance. I needed to rebuild my home. Praise God by some divine intervention I was led to your site and Laines Letters. God is so very good. Although it has been a struggle to rebuild my home (we now have family worship every morning before school and every evening before bedtime) the sacrifice has been and will be worth it. So days like Friday where I fell apart under the pressure all I can do is try to pick back up the pieces pray for another chance to do better. I trust in our Lord to guide me and I have faith that He can work miracles in me and my family. Please pray for me because some days I just can’t blink hard and fast enough to keep the tears from flowing.
Sorry for the book…
keep writing… your “realness” is truly encouraging and inspirational.
Amy says
Praise the Lord! This is a beautiful testimony and I am so glad you shared it here because He is working in you and things are getting better. I am praying!
Reggie says
This is another of those areas where I learned by example and have tried not to copy. It can be hard though, especially since children can often be more resevered in public as well, while becoming Tasmanian devils at home. 😉