If you look at the titles of the topics here on Raising Arrows, you will quickly see
I am a mother.
The minute I wake up (and often long before I wake up), I am mothering in some way. I nurse the baby, I homeschool the children, I change diapers, cook meals, and wash laundry in copious amounts. I hug, kiss, and snuggle from sun up to sun down. I love it and wouldn’t change it for the world, but…
It would be easy for my entire life to become child-centered.
I was blessed to be raised in a home where my parents’ marriage was a priority. I knew I was loved, but I also knew I didn’t belong in every conversation and every situation. My mom and dad were strong parents because they had a strong marriage…not the other way around.
Many husbands feel they play second fiddle to the kids. Many moms feel they could parent a whole lot better if Dad would get out of the way. They aren’t in this together because they don’t do much of anything TOGETHER.
Our homes are not to be child-centered. They are to be family-centered and that starts with a marriage that is grounded and focused. The marriage must be a priority.
Not every moment of the day should be child-filled. Not every conversation need involve the children. Closed doors are good. Locks are even better.
I want my children to know that mommy and daddy love them because they love each other. I want them to know that the covenant between us is of the utmost importance and when the going gets tough, mommy and daddy stand united…not because we are their parents, but because we are of one flesh.
Here are a few ways you can help make your marriage a priority. I hope you will see that it is often the little things that speak the loudest.
Have the children go to bed a little early, so you and your husband can have time to unwind together.
Make a special treat for him every couple of days. Make sure you tell him you made it with him in mind.
Hang out in the bathroom while he takes a shower and chit-chat through the curtain (or surprise him by joining him behind the curtain!)
Have him call you on his way home from work so you can meet him in the driveway for a little “alone time” in the vehicle.
Keep him updated on the happenings at home (not always the bad stuff, please!) via phone, text messages, or email.
Share a pillow.
Don’t be afraid to lock the bedroom door…in the middle of the day.
Have him read the Bible to you.
Laugh together. A lot!
Dance in the kitchen.
Kiss in front of the kids.
Teach the children not to interrupt conversations.
Don’t always choose family activities based on what the kids want to do. It’s okay for the kids to spend the weekend doing what mom and dad want to do, going where mom and dad want to go, and yes, even eating where mom and dad want to eat!
May your marriage be blessed and your parenting a testimony to that love!
Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”