How to Be a Consistent Mother

How to Be a Consistent Mother | RaisingArrows.netConsistency is one of those words we like to throw around as the elusive answer to all our problems.

“If I were more consistent, my children would obey better.”

“If I were more consistent, I would be able to get everything done.”

“If I were more consistent, my children wouldn’t be behind in their school work.”

However, we can’t make consistency the fall guy for everything.  Consistency is great, but almost entirely impossible.  We need to learn to see consistency in a different way, so when a reader asked about how be a consistent mother, I decided to tackle the issue in a different way – with a vlog (that’s a Video Blog for all of you scratching your heads at such a weird word).  It’s only 3 minutes, but if you don’t have the time to listen to it all, some of the highlights are listed below the video. {can’t see the video?  Click HERE!}

Highlights:

  • Stop stressing!  There will be different seasons in your life.  Accept them.
  • Create an At-A-Glance Schedule.
  • Surround yourself with things that help you be a better mom.
  • Enjoy the entire process of homeschooling, homemaking, and mothering.
  • Consistency does NOT mean every day looks the same!
  • Do the little things.

Do you struggle with being a consistent mother?  Anything in the vlog resonate with where you are?  Do you have other suggestions for the inconsistent mothers reading this blog?  Leave your comments below!  Raising Arrows is a community and readers love to interact and help each other out.  Don’t be afraid to add your thoughts to the conversation!

Looking for more Ask Amy posts?  Have a question of your own?  Click the graphic below!

Ask Amy

25 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

25 thoughts on “How to Be a Consistent Mother

  1. Wow!!!!!! I really, really needed this!!!!! My husband is a flight nurse and works at two different hospitals and his schedule is different every day. I have felt for so long like a failure because I cannot get everyday to look the same. I loved how you said everyday being the same is monotony not consistency. I have delayed making a schedule because I can’t seem to figure out how to make one that takes into account my husbands ever changing schedule. I know I can make and stick to an at a glacé schedule:). Thank you. You really brought me some much needed encouragement today:)

    • I’m so thankful, Serenity! I know how hard it is when your husband has a crazy work schedule. We have to realize our days will look very different from another mother’s day who has a husband working regular hours. Have a wonderful day! :)

  2. Amen! Consistency does not mean every day looks the same! I’ve found that consistency may be a struggle for me, but isn’t beyond God’s ability to change in my home!
    I struggled so much with consistency, and someone told me that if I had trouble I ought to let God’s Word guide my reactions. I have a daughter (5yo) who craves consistency, and my seat of the pants personality really does not suit her. I began using scripture to inform my responses to her. We found my struggle to discipline her was based on my feelings. I was inconsistent because I only disciplined when it was annoying or disruptive. Once I began responding in terms of what God says is good, she has been much better, and our relationship is much less strained.
    We have the 10 commandments posted in our living room, and every time she breaks one, she can go point it out, talk about it with me, and expect the same response every time she breaks one of “God’s rules” stealing means she has to give back the item taken, plus restitution. It is amazing how God’s Word can create in our regenerate hearts a consistency that wasn’t there before naturally. God never changes, so we need to look to his example for how to be consistent. It isn’t the situation that matters, but how we handle it. Do I always respond to my child’s disobedience with a measured response? Do I respond to her repentance with Grace and Mercy? As God does to me?

    • I love your idea about having the 10 commandments posted up and using them specifically in the discipline of your children. And pointing out that these aren’t just OUR rules, but GOD’S. Great idea, thanks for sharing!

  3. I always enjoy your encouraging words. Thank you.I had a house full of sick kiddos on Friday and still one more at home. I needed that thank you once again.

  4. The comments below the video don’t have any highlights from it. It’s just the basic tagline introduction quite similar to what your post has. It appears you have to watch the video to learn anything. Obviously it’s up to you what you do with your blog, but in case it makes a difference, I don’t watch video blogs, largely because I can read a lot faster than someone else can talk.

    • Sorry, I just realized the first few sentences sound rather abrupt. They’re meant to sound confused. I was hoping to find something in the comments below the video to give me the gist of it, and just didn’t see what I had expected from your post.

  5. Thank you for this encouragement this morning! I’m in my 8th years of homeschooling and I’m still struggling with that. Sometimes I feel it’s just not a part of my personality, not natural at all, but in the same time I know God want to work that in me. O of course, I’m better than 8 years ago, but I still have so much work to do in this area. My biggest challenge over the years was to keep going in the middle of emotional chaos from a difficult marriage. But thanks God, our marriage is far better today, he healed us and restored us, but now I’m at a point where I have to work double for adressing what is late. If I can encourage others that are living in a difficult marriage, I saw over the years that God is still in control, even when it doesn’t look like that. My oldest are not ruin at all, they learned in different ways. I can see it now. God called me to homeschool in difficult circonstances and he manage it to work. He began when I ended and he equip my kids well. And I feel now that he is giving me what it takes to go after what is late. All I need now is more consistency.

    • Melanie, I can relate with you. Im in my 4th year and have 5 children from 11 down to 2. this year(2013.we do year around ..end of last school year and beginning of this year) has a been a great year for us in our marriage and family, God does amazing things for those who are faithful and worship him in truth and righteousness. I struggled with feeling I wasnt doing enough and trying to make the days look the same. What a load off my shoulders after figuring out they dont! Plus we all learned some life and relationship skills and tools.

  6. Re; Things that help you be a better mom….
    Good suggestions
    I also find if I can get some “creative time” alone, I’m just a hugely better mom!
    Also, make your tools attractive to you. Something I leared from the book Morgenstern’s book, “Organizing from the Inside Out”.

    Agreed to emphasize enjoying the children. Something dh has been urging me for yours

    You can’t wait til the house is perfect and all your obligations are met to do something creative or a fun time with your kids. Not happening. Needs to be a balance.

    great vblog! Thanks

  7. Thanks for the encouragement!!! Right now is a “resting” season for me, waiting on Baby 2 and having to spend the last few weeks on the couch than up on my feet (as prescribed by my practitioner). My house is an absolute wreck, and my toddler runs amok and destroys more things than I can pick up. I am embarrassed that I must hire someone to come and clean my house this week, that I couldn’t (in this “resting” state) somehow keep up with everything that needed to be done (which was unreasonable of me to think that I could “rest” and still scrub the shower, mop and vacuum, etc.) It has been difficult to swallow, but I think that it gave me an appreciation for the work that I DID do before, and will be doing again as soon as I am back on my feet. The schedule idea is good– thinking forward to having two-under-two, I am going to need a “flexible” schedule and stick to it or I won’t get ANYTHING done (including dinner on the table!) Should be an exciting season!

  8. Thank you so much for posting on this topic. Today is the 1st day my husband is returning to work after paternity leave, leaving me alone with a newborn and 3 other children 5 and under. Honestly I am terrified that I won’t be able to do all that is going to be required of me. I am desperate to start a new schedule and gain some consistency, but right now I’m in survival mode. Thank you for your encouragement, it brings tears to my eyes that God can bring people with wisdom right to my door (or computer screen :) ) who can be so helpful in difficult times.
    Btw- I really like the “vlog” keep them coming.

  9. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your video blog. I felt like I got to meet you for the first time even though I have been enjoying your posts for a few months. Thank you for the encouragement!

  10. Amy, I enjoyed hearing your voice for the first time! Thank you for the encouragement. It had never occurred to me that consistency did not equal identical. Wonderful freedom that brings!