Take Yourself Out of the Equation

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Take Yourself out of the Equation - sometimes we just need to remove ourselves from the situation to see the truth of the matter | RaisingArrows.net

Did someone hurt you today, yesterday, years ago?  Did someone do something today that made you angry, resentful, sick to your stomach?  Did you lose your cool with one of your children…again?  Did you lose your cool with your spouse?  (again?)  Are you bothered by someone in your past who wronged you?  Are you finding it nearly impossible to let it go?


Recently, I overheard a woman recounting a situation from her past that had hurt her.  I could tell by the way she was nearly spitting out her words, that the pain was still very much with her.  She was bitter and angry, and mercy toward the person who had wronged her was far from her mind.

I wondered if she would ever fully heal.

There seem to be a lot of angry, hurting, bitter people walking around these days.  Many of them are Christians.  They speak of grace and mercy in their own lives, but cannot seem to extend that same grace and mercy to others.

Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. €“Romans 12:16

What if we took ourselves out of the equation?

Life is like an equation.  Situations arise and what we add to them or take away from them make all the difference in the outcome.

As believers, ideally we should be adding things like lovingkindness, grace, mercy, faithfulness, obedience, and taking away from them a closer relationship with Christ, a deeper understanding of our God, and a stronger love for others.

Life is like an equation...

When we make ourselves a major part of the equation, it is nearly impossible for us to see the true answer…the answer Christ would have us see.

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;
€“ Romans 12:9 €“ 10

The less I consider myself, the more peaceful I am

When my day hands me difficult situations and difficult people, I can walk away unruffled if I remember to take myself out of the equation.  I don’t have to get my emotions all tangled up in things, feel personally offended, or plot revenge if I remove myself.  I can go in peace because I know the Lord carries me no matter how battered I feel.

Satan thrives on stirring up strife and dissension – especially amongst the Body of believers.  It is easy to be offended.  It is easy to want to fight back.  But it takes practice to live a grace-filled life.

Start practicing

Fill your mind and heart with God’s grace, not only toward yourself, but toward others.

When someone hurts you, look to Christ to heal you.

When someone offends you, don’t get tangled up in the offense.

Remember sin is the root cause.

Remember, love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

This week, take yourself out of the equation.  Don’t let that difficult situation consume you. Know that God has this in His hands.  You don’t need to handle it.  Go in grace.  Live in peace.  Let love be your life.


14 Comments on Take Yourself Out of the Equation

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14 thoughts on “Take Yourself Out of the Equation

  1. Thank you so, so much for your words of wisdom!! I really needed to hear this today and wowza!! did it help me!! I love reading your blog! And look forward to it everyday!

  2. Every person has experienced this. Yes, we all want to live a life that does not hurt others and we, ourselves are not hurt. Remembering, we are all sinful, all far from perfect will help. Understanding that those who do not know Christ, may never fully understand the impact of their words or actions helps. And always remembering, we are called to forgive – and we will be forgiven. Remembering grace…., yes grace. Matthew 18 – beautiful reminder that we all have a responsible part in the act of forgiveness.

  3. +Amy, I admire you so much, even though I am an older woman (68) I learn a lot from your daily emails, with very thought provoking comments. Today, I quoted you on face book..and I gave credit to you and Raising Arrows, however I don’t want to be illegal, so is that ok? I just scanned the quote about taking yourself out of the equasion.

  4. After my husband was let go from a ministry job years ago, it was hard not to be bitter and angry towards the church we left. In my struggle, my mom graciously pointed me to a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, entitled, “Choosing Forgiveness”. God used Nancy’s Biblical teaching to bring healing and forgiveness to my heart. I strongly recommend it for those who are struggling to forgive.

    • This is the second time this week that this book has been brought up. I have seen it but haven’t read it, and I’m thinking I need to.
      I started to write a long reply here, but erased it. I will just simply say that I am desperately in need of prayer in this area and would be greatly appreciative if you all would pray for me! Bitterness and unforgiveness has taken root in my heart and I just let it stay there because I think I’m protecting myself and my family from being so terribly hurt again. I know it’s wrong, and yet I can’t let it go. Please pray for me!

  5. Hi, I have been following your site for a long time. I have felt convicted about leaving my family planning up to the Lord – but my husband has not. For the past couple years, I have felt angry, bitter, and terribly upset that my prayers have not been answered the way I wanted them to be. The past couple weeks have been even harder because his vasectomy is now scheduled in less than a month. I feel so strongly against it, but he is adamant. Your words today have convicted me about my attitude and my anger. So I am going to take myself out of the equation. I have prayed about this almost daily – it is time that I leave it up to God. It is now out of my hands. Instead, I am going to submit to my husband, I am going to honor him, and I am going to let go of the pain. Thanks

  6. Hi thanks for your post. For me, God taught me that the reason I was having difficulty with bitterness was that I never wanted to actually speak up when something hurt me, even by speaking gently, kindly. I just buried the pain and pretended it didn’t hurt, even when it did. That is what leads to bitterness. Not rebuking your brother. It doesn’t have to be harsh but Jesus doesn’t call us to be doormats either. :) Sharon http://heleadsmesharon.blogspot.com.au/2013/11/the-recipe-for-forgiveness.html