Does It Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics}

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Does it Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics Series on}

This is one of those questions that can quickly divide a room of homemakers.  It is a question of productivity and what time a woman has to wake up in order to be a “good homemaker.”

Because I manage the home my husband works hard to provide for us, I thought the best place to start answering this question would be from him.  Here’s what he said when I asked if a woman needed to wake up at a certain time to manage her home properly:

“No.  Your days need to be flexible.  If you stayed up late to take care of something or someone, then sleeping in is justified.  However, be certain you are not using your time to play and then shirking your responsibilities the next day.”

Now, bear in mind this is my husband’s answer to the running of my husband’s home.  Your husband’s answer might be entirely different with entirely different reasons.  There will also be a lot of you with husbands who simply do not care.  I’d encourage you to seek your own husband’s thoughts on this matter before asking your girlfriends for their input or creating some guilt-ridden schedule that has you going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5 in the morning every day.  You’re much more likely to get a response from your own husband that fits your household.

That said, if your husband gives you a vague answer or truly does not care, there are a few guidelines you can follow to help you decide what time you need to wake up in order to manage your household.  So, grab a cup of tea and take a moment to really think through this minus the guilt, minus the craziness, and minus a bunch of preconceived notions about what your wake up time “should be.”

Does it Matter When I Wake Up?  {Homemaking Basics Series on}

Your Wake Up Time Should Match Your Responsibilities

Is there something that requires your attention first thing in the morning?  Do you have early morning chores or a baby that needs you?  Perhaps there is a toddler who wakes up early and must be supervised or your husband prefers you get up to see him off to work.  Your wake up time needs to match those responsibilities.  Just as a husband who has the responsibility to clock in at a certain time for work has to show up at the right time to fulfill his work responsibilities, you also must be “on time” to fulfill your responsibilities at home.

Does it Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics on Raising Arrows}

A Homemaker’s Responsibilities Vary From Day to Day

Just as Emily Ryan in Guilt-Free Quiet Times speaks of how Jesus rose early, but also stayed up late, we too must be willing to take care of our responsibilities whenever they arise.  We have generalized responsibilities like feeding our children and keeping the house clean, but we also have unforeseen incidentals that require focused energy like caring for sick children or guiding a child through difficult school work.  Your wake up time may not always be the same due to these incidentals.

Does it Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics on Raising Arrows}

It’s Okay to Take Comp Time, But Don’t Expect It

Comp Time is a beautiful thing.  Sleeping in can be sweet compensation for a hard day’s work.  However, you should not demand it because it won’t be long before your expectations will not be met and you will find yourself resentful of your work as a homemaker.

Does it Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics on Raising Arrows}

Be Reasonable With Your Wake Up Time

There are seasons in life when you can rise early consistently.  There are seasons in life when you cannot.  When you consider what time you should wake up in the morning, don’t forget to consider your season and be reasonable about when you truly can hit the ground running.

Also remember, you don’t always get to pick your season.  When we started moving last Saturday, I had had a very rough night.  I did not want to get up and start my day, but I had to.  It didn’t matter that I had only had about 4 hours of sleep.  It didn’t matter that there was snow on the ground and my youngest had a cold.  My “season” was not the one I would have chosen, but it was what it was and I had to keep going.

Does it Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics on Raising Arrows}

Factor In the Rest of Your Day {and the night before too}

As you write out a trial schedule, keep in mind your wake up time is not necessarily the beginning of your day and it definitely isn’t the end of your day.  Figure in what your night before looks like.  Figure in your husband’s schedule and your season in life.  Set a time, but be flexible.  There is no Wake Up Time Rule and no one outside your household has the ability to tell you when you ought to wake up in order to get your day off to the right start.  You have to choose a time that allows you to meet the demands of YOUR day.

Ready to get started?

Think through all of this, talk to your husband, pray over it, and then set a time!  After that, consider HOW you’ll get yourself up.  Do you need an alarm clock or will your husband be getting you up?  Or can you set an alarm on your computer or tablet?  What sound does it need to make?  (mine sounds like a phone ringing b/c in my head, that is a “Get Up” kind of sound.)  Try your wake up time for a few days and then tweak as needed.

And with that, I really must go to bed…so I can wake up refreshed in the morning!

What Time Should I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics} |

18 Comments on Does It Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics}

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18 thoughts on “Does It Matter When I Wake Up? {Homemaking Basics}

  1. I’ll add that its good for moms to be up early- making breakfast, preparing for the day, and watching over the kids as they get up. My sister gets up pretty early, and its nice to know that shes not getting into trouble.

  2. Great food for thought, Amy. I agree that a husband needs some input here. It really depends also on what his schedule is. My guy works nights so as a result his days off start much, much later than most. It’s not uncommon for him to be getting up at 2 in the afternoon. His late start pushes everything back. He’s not ready for dinner at 5 or even 6pm, because he’s only been awake 4 hours! lol. Of course, he goes to bed late too which means we (me and the kids) go to bed later than usual too so we have more time with daddy, sometimes it’s as late as 11pm. If we stay up talking and hanging out, most nights I’m not in bed till 2am. Obviously, I’m not looking to get up at 6am (although, a toddler has no sense of time) but I’m happy if I can sleep in till 8:30. Sorry for rambling. 😉

  3. I like the balanced approach that you used in your answer. I think for many wives, your husband is right. You’re right about wives checking with their own husbands. Mine’s not picky except on Sundays. He wants me up first. I have older children whom I no longer need to dress. He just wants me ready for church early.


  4. The other thing I think matters is knowing yourself. I know that I am not a morning person. I wake up slowly and until I am properly awake my ability to deal with noise and more than one person at a time is very poor. Sensory issues mean I overload easily.

    I can deal with everyone at once in the morning, but not every day and not without a plan. In our household that means that Papa has primary responsibility for the children for the first hour they are awake. It means that the bigger two stay in their rooms, drink their tea and have their devotions and the little two do quiet things like read books. And it means that I set my alarm for 30 minutes before everyone else gets up and children who awaken that early ( Good Morning very bouncy and loud four year old son!!!) are required to stay in bed until that 30 minutes is up.

    It has taken us eight years of marriage to get something that works in the morning so keep trying things until you find what works….K

    • That’s great you have something that works and is so organized like that! I am impressed and may just have to “steal” some of your ideas. We are slow risers here too. In our new house there is a nursery next to our room and the little boys have some of their toys in there. This morning the 5 and 3 yr olds played quietly while the baby stayed in his playpen next to them and chattered. I could hear them all and it was a much more relaxing morning than I’ve had in a long time!

      • I’m sure you needed the relaxation after all your packing and moving bustle these last few weeks! Some of my children wake up 100% on (no, more like 125% on!) and some need space when they first wake up, so having everyone’s expectation be alone time gets everyone’s day off to a better start.

  5. Thank you! I needed this! I don’t guess I ever really took into consideration what my husband thought about it! Going to be thinking about this today and try to rise a little earlier! If for nothing more than spending time with God and to see my husband off to work! I think that will improve my day very much!

  6. I had talked with my husband earlier this week about this – only regarding bedtime instead of waking time. His answer may translate into a waking time indirectly, too. I asked if he’d prefer if I stayed up late to clean the kitchen or go to bed when he does. I know both of these are important to him. His choice of having me go to bed with him may indicate I need to make the dishes a priority in the morning as I am usually up before him. Also, if I can get up enough before my little girls to have some time in my Bible and enjoy some quiet, I’m a better Mommy for the rest of the day. My challenge right now is figuring out what time that is with the variability of my baby’s waking and staying disciplined to get up while it’s still so dark. Thanks for your thoughts!

  7. Love this! I always feel so guilty about not “rising while it’s still night”. But, like Jillian, my husband works late (swing shift with starts at 6p, 7p, or 8p and goes to 2a, 3a, or 4a or later). About a week ago, he told me he wanted to have the children in bed by 11p (we’d been getting them to bed later than that) so we could have some quiet time before going to bed ourselves. This has been such a blessing! Everyone seems more rested and happy when they rise. The children wake around 10/ 10:30a (earlier than they were getting up), so I’ve been getting up with them; Daddy sleeps ’til noon or later. I do think I need to rise a little earlier than they do, but am pregnant (21 weeks!) and still getting used to our new “go-to-bed-earier-get-up-earlier” schedule. =) Thank you for these wonderful tips!

    • My son in law also works overnights. He starts at 9 pm, and gets home around 6am. My daughter was very fearful being alone at night, and she wasn’t sleeping while he was gone, and then neither of them was in shape to care for their 3 small daughters in the morning. At my suggestion, they are trying family bedtime. Daddy tucks all his girls, even Mama, into bed together and they have story time before he leaves for work. My daughter falls asleep between 8:30 and 9, just as he leaves, and wakes up just before he gets home. They then have some quiet time together before the babies are up, and before he needs to sleep. This way if babies wake up early, someone has had enough sleep to be able to care for them.

  8. Hi Amy, this post was very helpful, as I’m pregnant with our sixth child now and getting up when I used to (5:15 am!) now seems nearly impossible. But at the same time its easy to beat oneself up over “lack of discipline” (even though my husband encourages me to be flexible) Thanks for the grace in your words.

  9. Honestly I love reading your blog because it is always so refreshing & balanced! I have gone through seasons of both: heavy scheduling, and then swung all the way to basically nothing…I feel much better & refreshed when I have a semi schedule & when I sleep in only 1-2 morns per week (maximum!) and sleeping in for me is usually 8am latest. Mind you we have five children including a newborn, so things are hectic around here to say the least. My hubby also doesn’t like it if I am running behind all day & still feeling frazzled when he arrives home from work :)

    Rachael @ Diamonds in the Rough (

    • I think what is most important is that the homemaker is getting a full night’s rest! When your body is sleeping, you are decompressing, repairing, rejuvenating, and healing physically, psychologically, and emotionally! My husband is on board with me getting my required 9 hours of sleep per night, because he sees how much it pays off in me consistently looking well to all of the ways of my household. Even Jesus says, the night comes when no man can work! The sun goes down for a reason! We need to go to bed at night so that we’re refreshed in the morning. Now, I’m in bed by 10:00pm. When my husband was in the military, I was up by 5:30am, because I wanted my husband to have a good breakfast, or I was up at 2am, because he worked overnight and needed a good meal on his break. That was just for a season in my life. Thank the Lord that most things are temporal, except Him! God bless all of you homemakers!