Often, I receive emails from young moms crying out for an older woman to be a Titus 2 mentor to them. Years ago, I wrote about how you should not be so caught up in looking, you forget to be a Titus 2 woman to someone else because there is always someone who could use what wisdom you have gleaned thus far. But today, I want to address another aspect of this search for the Titus 2 woman. Because we have a shortage of Titus 2 women in our real lives, we tend to turn to Facebook and blogs and forums to find our Titus 2 help. I’m sure many of you have mulled over the question of whether or not today’s young wife and mother really needs a real life mentor? Could these blogs and forums and connections on social media be the Titus 2 of today? Before I answer this, let’s go back in time… In yesteryear, your Titus 2 women were a part of the local congregation. You knew if an older woman was someone you wanted teaching you because she had proven herself. The entire community could see that fact. Young mothers knew they could count on her advice because they had seen her run her household day in and day out and they were able to observe the fruit of her labor. It was obvious she was for real. Likewise, the older women could see the needs of the younger women. They saw these woman with their husbands and children out and about and could readily ascertain many of the issues they were having. Now before you tell me those were the “good ole days”, I want you to consider how much you would welcome an older woman’s advice? Would you really be all ears or do you think maybe, just maybe, you might end up feeling cornered? Would that older woman come off as helpful or presumptuous and meddling? Would you only want her advice if you sought it? Would you be irritated if she kept a watchful eye on your progress? It’s tough to take criticism. It’s tough to be told something in your life needs to change. And it is beyond tough to be held accountable for the lessons you’ve been taught. When we do our Titus 2-ing online, we can lie about how we are doing or hide behind a passive-agressive Facebook status. We can even unfriend and walk away. The reason I think having In Real Life Titus 2 mentors is important isn’t because of the sweet and precious moments of fellowship we might have with an older woman, but because of the hard stuff no one can really manage from an online platform. There is no online substitute for accountability and tough love. Do you want someone to be real with you? Are you willing to be real with them? I wonder if we lack Titus 2 women in our communities because we aren’t willing to have someone meddling in our lives and/or we are afraid of meddling in the lives of others? Can we have online Titus 2 women? Yes – but they have to be women who aren’t afraid to check up on us and ask the hard questions. And most importantly, we need to truly see the fruit in their lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean all their adult children are Christians (because God doesn’t have grandchildren and people make their own choices) nor does it mean they do everything right all the time. But it does mean you know what their home life is like and you know if they truly are striving on a daily basis to live for Christ and serve their families in His name. It will be difficult to find this type of relationship online, but not completely impossible. Should we have IRL Titus 2 women? Yes – but be prepared to listen and potentially get your feelings stepped on. If you want those real relationships, you have to be willing to be real and raw and teachable. Iron sharpens iron and sharpening hurts. Be aware that Titus 2 relationships are going to be this kind of hurt from time to time. So, Titus 2 seekers, let me leave you with this final question that each of you must answer on your own – Is that what you really want? If so, then it is time to put yourself out there and let older women know how much you need them and how you are willing to hear what they have to say and how you are willing to be held accountable. Stop looking for an older woman to have a cup of coffee with, and start looking for one who has proven herself and has wisdom to share!