Not too long ago, I began to have the distinct feeling that I was wasting time. Every conference I went to, every conversation I had, every song I listened to, every Bible passage I read seemed to point me to the fact that I was seriously wasting time.
I didn’t mean to do it. In fact, I wasn’t even aware of it. But, when the same words continued to be spoken into my life, I knew I needed to take a hard look at what those words were saying.
The specific words weren’t, “You are wasting time, Amy.” They were things like:
“You don’t need to be Jesus to your kids. You need them to need Jesus.” ~Angie Smith
“I realized it had to be Jesus + Nothing.” ~Kendra Fletcher
“but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.”
1 Thessalonians 2:4
“You gave me life worth dying for, but between the altar and the door, I bought the lies that promised more; All my deeds and my good name are just dirty rags that tear and strain to cover all my guilty stains that You already washed away.”
All You’ve Ever Wanted by Casting Crowns
To you, those words may not sound anything like, “You are wasting time.” But to me, that is exactly what they were saying. They were telling me that I have been focused for far too long on the details, always missing the big picture. They were telling me that in the process of managing a household, homeschooling a ton of kids, being a wife, and writing a blog I wasn’t allowing myself to be raw in front of anyone, so no one could see (including myself) that I needed Christ. These words were telling me that I was working and working and working for something that had already been taken care of.
It was almost as if I was on a hamster wheel – wasting time going in circles. Over and over again, I was rolling through the same stuff, working myself into a frenzy, but never getting anywhere.
And never acknowledging that Jesus had already taken care of it all.
We read blogs, talk to friends, ask questions on Facebook trying to figure out how to be the perfect parent, perfect wife, perfect homeschooler. We hash and rehash conversations, searching for answers that only seem to be temporary. We live a discouraged, beaten-down life. Yet, we weren’t called to that sort of life! We were called to victory, we were called to abundance, we were called to joy overflowing.
Where did we go wrong?
We tried to be everything.
Let me tell you something…
I talk a good talk. My bio photo even says “an abundant life”, but I wasn’t acknowledging that abundance in life has nothing to do with how quickly I get my housework done or how calm the kids are or how well I homeschool. In fact, I bought the lie that those things really mattered to God. That my sacrifices somehow made me holy before Him.
The truth is, He can’t even see my filthy rags.
The truth is, He wants my heart, not my works.
I was wasting time trying to be everything…trying to get it all right.
Friends, if you are doing the same thing I was, I want to encourage you to lay that burden down right now. It’s not yours. Jesus didn’t ask you to be somebody, He asked you to be HIS.
He wants your every day, every moment. He covers the mess ups, the gaps, the craziness. And He gives you JOY!
What your children need is a mom totally sold out to Christ. They need a mom who isn’t wasting time being perfect, but who perseveres through it all because she knows where her strength comes from and she knows she can’t do it without Jesus.
You know how I became the perfect everything?
I gave up.
I can’t mess this up if my heart is focused on Jesus. I can’t mess this up if I ask the Lord with a contrite heart for daily provisions in my parenting, homeschool, and homemaking. I can’t mess this up if I am loving Him and pouring that full heart into my children’s lives, my husband’s life, and beyond.
I’m not going to get this all right. There is no formula or method that will make any of us the perfect parent, homeschooler, mom, wife, friend. We are wasting time if we think there is and we go chasing after everything that tells us so.
You can be the perfect everything not because of ANYTHING YOU DO, but because JESUS ALREADY IS. Every step you make is covered. Just walk it with your heart mind and soul focused on Him.