For the past year, I’ve not been well. Many days, running the house was accomplished from my bedroom, including managing the cooking and cleaning. Something I realized during my time on bedrest and the 6 weeks we spent in NICU after I gave birth to Mercy, is that cooking and cleaning systems are a must.
My homemaking runs on systems. They are what keep from me from going insane on a daily basis. You see, without systems, a mama spends precious time and energy making menial decisions all day long. For instance, what do I make for lunch? I could try to figure out a different lunch every single day OR I could have a system in place that makes lunch a no-brainer like my Soup, Salad, Sandwich Method (more on that in a moment!).
A good system brings your stress level down, and once practiced sufficiently, can be done on autopilot, thus making it the perfect answer to times when mommy can’t hover over every task the day requires.
So, let’s talk about super simple systems and what works best when you aren’t feeling well and the house needs to run itself with a little help from your children, your husband, you mama, or kindly friends or neighbors.
{See how “happy” my daughter looks? This wasn’t her usual chore and she was less than thrilled to be doing it. Proof positive that my children are NOT perfect.}
Simple Cleaning Systems
Let’s start with cleaning since that is one thing that can easily get out of control, is often difficult to get back under control, and when taken care of (even halfway), can give a sense of peace to the family.
In my book, Home Management for the Homeschool Mom, I mention several easy cleaning systems that can be put together rather quickly. If you are feeling well, start there, but, when mama isn’t well, you need a system of cleaning that requires very little brain power. Here are some methods I have used with success over the years.
Inspection Method
This is a method that was easy for me to do and also easy for my older children to implement when I could not. I (or my designated helper) would walk from one end of the house to the other noting what needed to be done and calling out names and jobs as I went. I would then situate myself in a centralized location and oversee everything. Sometimes I was even able to make a list of everything that needed to be done and keep everyone working on the list. If a room was really bad and needed my help to keep everyone on task, I would try to find a way to sit in that room and direct traffic. 1-2 x a day we would clean the entire house in this manner.
List Method
This method can be done in tandem with the Inspection Method or as a stand alone. All you do is take a piece of paper and write down everything you know needs to be cleaned and then assign the tasks. Most of us know our house pretty well and know the places that need to be cleaned without needing to actually look.
Gathering Method
Sometimes the house doesn’t need a full-blown clean, but simply a really good tidy. However, bending over to pick things up off the floor when I don’t feel well is awful! In order to manage the tidy up, I would get a basket or designate a spot (like the couch or bed) for things to be gathered and then doled out to their rightful place. This can be done sitting up or lying down.
One Focus Method
Another way to get things cleaned that doesn’t require a lot of brain power is to use a very focused approach. One day ONLY mop, one day ONLY vacuum, one day ONLY dust, etc. This allows you to ONLY get out one cleaning supply and focus on ONLY one thing.
Simple Cooking Systems
When dealing with morning sickness, food isn’t really something I want to think about. When I was in pain toward the end of my pregnancy, standing up to cook wasn’t something I could do. No matter what the reason for mom being out of the kitchen, the basic fact is that you need easy ways to get food in the kids. Here’s how I did it!
Staples Method
Every family has their staple meals. Rely on these when you aren’t well. And yes, it is okay if your staples are cheese chips and hot dogs. Being a good mom isn’t always about what you feed the kids, but about the fact that you actually did feed them! Keep the ingredients to make the staple foods on your grocery list at all times, and make sure the meals are super simple and kid-friendly.
Simple Choices Method
In our house, this is known as Soup, Salad, Sandwiches. This is how we do lunch EVERY day – not just when mom isn’t well. You can extend this to breakfast and supper as well. (Take a look at DIY Breakfast Station for ideas!)
QUICK TIP: Use technology to your advantage during this time! Send texts and emails with menus or cleaning plans to your husband and older children. Set reminders on your phone or computer to help you remember to do things so you don’t have to rely on your tired brain. Make daily alarms for cleaning or getting started on meals. Have your children take photos of rooms so you can approve (or give further orders) on what has been cleaned.
Final thoughts…
For many moms, not feeling well is a season. For some moms, not feeling well is on-going. No matter where you are on this spectrum, please give yourself and your family grace. It’s hard when mama is down. Take time to treat yourself and your kids and husband. Snuggle them when you can…even if it is sitting in front of the television. Smile at them, praise them, appreciate them. But, please don’t constantly apologize. This is life. Often it isn’t pretty. You are a family, and sometimes family stuff is hard and what really matters is that all of you pull together and do what works for you without guilt or feeling like your current state is somehow wrecking the entire family. Keep your chin up, mama!
Stacey Westfall says
Very timely! I am already thinking ahead to the 3rd trimester and how I am going to get anything done when the pain starts. This is my fifth pregnancy, so I can only imagine a new Survival reality TV show happening in my house with my 4 children, lol. I have to simplify now.
Amy says
It won’t be perfect, but getting a few things in place now will help tremendously!
Sonja says
I was very encouraged as I read this when I recognized I already implement some of these without even realizing it. I have had a very hard time lowering my standards of clean, but with my health issues, if my kids don’t do most of the cleaning, it just doesn’t get done. I need to work on not feeling guilty that they are doing more cleaning than I am. And then we’ll work on getting them more involved in the kitchen. Thank you for such a easily implemented plan of action. I’ve been praying for you & your family ever since I met you at the Christmas dinner in 2015. Mercy is adorable.
NIcole says
Do you have any cleaning systems for the “challenged orgainzer”. I must be the most disorganized person on the planet!! I hope you have felt this way too….my kids are all little 6 and under. It seems that decluttering is just a never ending thing. Sometimes things get cleaned sometimes they get overlooked….for a really long time. I just made myself a sample “schedule” because untill now we really didnt have anything. Its a little weird right now because my husbands out of work and hes at home and the computer is in the living room which he uses to apply to jobs. Anyway I often find myself super emotional about “not having a real plan”. Do you have any suggestions?
I also have a question about kiddos who have generally for the past month have had bad attitudes about picking up and chores. Any tips?
thanks so much
Amy says
I absolutely know what you feel like! I am not a naturally organized person; however, I like things neat and tidy, so I declutter ALL the time! If something truly needs to be organized, I look on Pinterest for ideas. And I just found a great little chore planner for moms called Motivated Moms that has been really great for me in this season. https://motivatedmoms.com/?ref=132
Shantel Jones says
I Love this “Being a good mom isn’t always about what you feed the kids, but about the fact that you actually did feed them!” It is so so true! Sometimes I forget that big time, lol!
Heather says
I found this so helpful and very encouraging, esp. At the end. We do a lot of these things and it works well. 12 wks pregnant with our 4th and all day sickness isn’t letting up yet. I’ve been very discouraged, feeling even worse when I do tackle something small during the window in the morning when I feel OK. Feeling like not enough to my family, etc.
Karrie says
Thank you, Amy. I needed to be reminded of this. I’m in the first trimester of my seventh pregnancy and my immune system seems to have left me. I literally go from one sickness to the next, never really feeling “well”. It can be very discouraging and I sometimes find myself feeling “less than”. Less than what, I don’t know but definitely not ‘enough’. Thanks for the reminder of extending grace, especially to one’s self.
Kristy Rainwater says
I’ve tied all our home routines to things that happen without my brain having to remember them. Meals and bedtime are the cues for our routines. Before breakfast make beds and pick up stray stuff in bedroom floors. After breakfast kitchen and house tidying chores, and folding the load or two of laundry I washed the day before. Before lunch put away what you have out for the littles and set aside schoolwork for the bigs. After lunch clean up the lunch mess and lunch clean up kid bags and takes out the trash. Pre- dinner tidy up what you have out, post dinner bigs clean the dinner mess and littles make sure their room is picked up so they are ready for post dinner family movie or game time. Pre-bed brush teeth and tidy up their room for bigs, littles just brush teeth and go to bed. It doesn’t work perfectly 100% of the time, but as they all know the routines and what’s involved in them a quick, “Hey isn’t it time for lunch clean up?” Is enough to get everyone going again. Also, since we all notice when it’s time to eat or denddkids to bed I can be sure I won’t forget to give that reminder as needed. We also have pretty standard lunch and breakfast options so there isn’t thought really required for that either. I’m pretty much continually surprised by the arrival of dinner though. Fortunately my 13 year old isn’t and reminds me most afternoons that it’s time to consider dinner options!?
Amy says
I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me to make dinner! lol
Kristianne Rushton says
Thank you so much for this. I have Fibromyalgia and my house has gotten out of control because of a state of overwhelm for my family. Mu husband is also not well.First, it’s nice to know that we are not alone! I need help and I don’t know where to begin or accept this as my life.