Category Archives: Baby Stuff

Suffering in Pregnancy {anonymous guest post}

{Note from Amy:  For reasons you will soon understand, this post has been submitted anonymously.  May you be blessed in the reading.}

I have five beautiful children. I praise the Lord for each one, for the eternal gift they are, and the joy they bring me. I also praise Him for the bouts of two month long morning sickness that leave me weak, thin, and unable to really care for them. I have learned the secret of finding joy in trials. It is simple really; yet it took me 7 pregnancies to understand, and who knows how long it will take to walk perfectly in it.

The first pregnancy I endured was a lesson in how selfish and wicked I truly was; how far I would go to please myself. I was sick for only one or two weeks, unable to eat or drink, losing weight, getting weak, when I took myself to an abortion clinic and committed murder against my own flesh and blood. I knew immediately the sin I had committed, and grieved. I am thankful to my Lord and Savior, that He is able to forgive even the worst of sinners, such as myself.

Fast forward 4 years, I was saved and I was pregnant again. This time newly married. I fell ill immediately. We were barely home from the honeymoon before I was vomiting constantly, and grumpy and cranky as a wicked witch. My husband was non-plussed, young and unsure, he didn’t know how to help me and it frustrated him endlessly. There were many fights, and lots of selfishness (especially on my side). I wondered why on earth I was so sick when so many people got off “scott free” without a lick of morning sickness. My morning sickness laid me in bed from 8pm to noon the next day, and I lost something around 14 pounds. I was bitter with the Lord. I begged Him to remove the sickness from me. I didn’t ever understand His answer at the time. I could understand no other answer than to remove the cup.

With the next baby, two and a half years later, I wasn’t much better off. I was laid up sick again, this time with a toddler. This time I begged God to remove this cup from me, and I quoted scriptures at Him about health and healing. I was getting frustrated. Why would He allow me to be so sick? I was jealous of women who’s pregnancies were “easy”, and bitter again with the God who said He loved me, but wouldn’t make me well. This time the sickness lasted until 16 weeks. I thought I was going to die, I worried that I would be ill the WHOLE pregnancy.

I repeated the same scenario just 9 months later when I was blessed to carry my third living child. I begged God to help me, and this time I heard distinctly “My grace is sufficient for you”. I knew He was not going to remove this cup from me. I still begged at every wretching, and grew bitter and demanding when I faced the inevitable vomiting. I couldn’t understand. I had been so long under teaching that said God wanted everyone to be healthy all the time, and that if I was sick it was my fault for not having faith, it was hard to think any other way.

I met some godly women online who pointed out that when we are sick but still choose to have children it brings God glory. The world sees only their own discomfort, but when they watch us grow very ill, and yet choose to bring forth more life, they stand in wonder. This gave me hope. It gave me a REASON for suffering. It helped me to understand that life, and my suffering isn’t all about ME. It wasn’t a punishment that I was ill. I began to look forward to the next pregnancy. I began to know that I could surrender to God’s sovereign will for my life. I considered it a good chance to show others how much God loves children, and that I valued them so much, I was willing to endure.

When I was blessed again however, I still had a very hard time surrendering to His will. I had to fight to not ask Him to remove the cup. It wasn’t a joyful time of illness, but it wasn’t as much torture as the previous ones had been. I wasn’t bitter with God anymore, and I asked Him to help me through it. I attempted to find joy despite the suffering. I tried to practice believing that His grace was sufficient for me, and that when I was weak then I was strong in Christ. It lessened the burden of the illness on me, and around this time my husband became more helpful which also lessened the burden. My first born child was old enough to keep the kitchen cleaned, and make a couple meals like oatmeal. I was still complaining bitterly of the suffering, and I didn’t know there was something better. I thought that the martyr attitude was a godly one, and the top of the revelation of God’s teaching on suffering. That suffering was glorious because we suffer.

When I last became pregnant (this go round, live baby number 6), I learned the most wonderful thing of all. That we can find joy IN suffering, not just despite it; that we can be thankful FOR suffering. I’ve been sick. I’ve been so sick I can’t get off of the sofa. I can’t stand to smell food cooking, and even though I know I need to eat it, I throw up instead and can’t. This is God’s BEST for me. It’s His will for me. It’s the cup and the cross He wants me to bear. But He promised that I don’t have to be discouraged. Though I am pressed on every side, I can be joyful. Though I suffer, I can enjoy that He is making me into the image of His most holy Son. I am pressed down, but I can smile. He has not left me, He has not forgotten to provide His grace for me. He is not just using me to reach a lost world through my suffering. No. His BEST for ME, is that I might be conformed into the image of Christ. That I might be like unto Him, and that I might share in the fellowship of His suffering, just as Paul and all the other saints have. He is blessing me with this suffering. It’s His MERCY on me. The mercy of salvation worked out in me.

I can say with Paul “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Cor 12:10) I can say with him “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 3:10-12)   That I might be able to apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Create in me a pure heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me. He has revealed to me what it is to “…count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;…” (James 1:2) I can take pleasure in illness, I can count it joy that I suffer, I can be thankful in all things, and when I am sick now, I make every attempt to praise the God who sought me, and bought me, and won’t let me go away unchanged. He is faithful to work in me the image of His Son, to continue pressing me when I am foolish and stubborn and want to remain a child. He is faithful to complete in me, the work which He began. I hope that I might be faithful to accept, and find joy in His workings.

The Wonderment Curriculum

wonderment

Children see the world through a fresh lens. It’s almost as if they have a better understanding of creation than we adults who are racing and organizing and pushing. They have the time to see the vibrant colors of a butterfly, the fluffiness of a cloud, the funny gait of a “watopillar” (otherwise known as a caterpillar…otherwise known as a roly-poly). They wonder at the world around them almost as naturally as they breathe.

Having children has taught me something beautiful.  It has taught me a sense of wonderment.

As homeschool moms we need to harness this wonderment.  We need to take the natural curiosity and joy of learning our little ones possess and choose curriculum and ways of infusing information that correspond with this.

boys sitting

You will find I am not a big advocate of preschool “curriculum” because I don’t think preschoolers NEED curriculum.  They need mama and daddy.  They need books read to them and smiles and hugs.  But, it seems moms and dads who are new to homeschooling are eager to add their preschooler to a rigorous school day (I know I was!).

So, I beseech you to consider The Wonderment Curriculum.

baby looking at flowers

No, this isn’t any particular curriculum, it’s a general frame of mind, if you will.  It’s the homeschooling frame of mind that says

Young children need only the opportunity to explore and learn from what they discover with mom and dad at their sides to guide their learning.

It is Delight-Directed for little ones!

So, if you must “do school” with your preschoolers, here are my top picks for building a Wonderment Curriculum for days full of delightful learning!

Free Ideas:

  • Your local library – choose a topic and grab up as many children’s books as you can!  Take books you already own and supplement with library books, cookbooks, and online videos and information!
  • Out of doors – There is so much to explore outside no matter where you live.  Take regular nature walks and keep a journal of what you find!
  • Less electronics – Less entertainment-driven media (which almost always creates an environment where the child is told what to think) will easily and cheaply foster creativity.

Toys that encourage creativity:

  • Playsilks – Oh, the possibilities!
  • Dress Up Clothes – This doesn’t have to be fancy and definitely doesn’t need to be store-bought!
  • Critter Catcher or other safe way of catching and observing bugs.
  • Kitchen sets – this can be anything from stuff you pick up at a thrift store to the nice play kitchens you see in stores.  There is just something about kids and the opportunity to concoct with dirt and water!

Actual Curriculum:

  • Five in a Row Series – literature-based in an easy style.
  • Unit Studies – A quick Google search of “Free Unit Studies” will net you huge results!

Books for mom and dad that facilitate Wonderment:



And don’t forget to infuse your little ones with the Bible!  Everything you do and say and teach should be out of the overflow of a heart that loves the Lord!  He is the Creator of these little ones and their sense of curiosity.  Lead them to Him!

{photos by thegodlyphotographer.blogspot.com}

Winner of TCM and Baby Garin Turns One!

The winner is of the True Christian Motherhood Giveaway is:

Heather Griffis

Congratulations!

But you can still purchase your own copy of True Christian Motherhood by clicking on the ebook icon below!


And in even greater news…

Baby Garin is now officially 1 year old!

He’s walking…

He’s talking (sort of)…

And he’s super cute!

and well loved!

The Tummy Chronicles – Tidbits of Wisdom



At five weeks, I hit a standstill in my journey to heal my diastasis.  I was discouraged.  I started a support forum.  And I kept going.

But it has been hard work.

There has been no progress, but I’ve also not gotten in all my reps and I’ve realized I am straining my belly too much getting up out of our furniture.  So much thought has to go into this, so I’m thankful I’ve only had a “standstill” rather than a “setback!” 

This week I am refocusing and starting over at Week 6.  {yes, that is allowed!}

I’m ready to get going!

The last time I spoke with Julie, she gave me some great little tidbits of wisdom that I would like to share here as well as encourage you to visit the forum (page 4 in particular) and glean wisdom from one of Julie Tupler’s certified trainers, Bonnie from Beautiful After Belly, who has been popping in on the forum to encourage everyone there!

*The first 6 weeks are just to strengthen your muscles. This is why you are not to exercise during that time.  You strengthen the muscles, then you heal them.  In fact, you need 3 good weeks before you ever start week 4.  If you’ve had a setback prior to week 4, don’t go on until you’ve had 3 good weeks in a row under your belt.  And don’t be afraid to redo the week you messed up.  {like me!}

*This is a marathon, not a sprint. I have a long way to go and my exciting nearly overnight success in the first several weeks was because I was finally healing connective tissue that had been damaged for a long time.  However, when my progress slowed, I became discouraged.  I saw this as a sprint even though I knew it would take more than 18 weeks to heal my DR, I still thought I would see the breakneck healing I was seeing in the beginning.  This past week I’ve realized this is a process, not a quick fix and I have to quit seeing this as something I just hurry up and get off my plate.  Thus, it is ok to go back and redo weeks and even go back and start over.  Just because I am blogging the journey does not mean I’m going to have a perfect 18 weeks.  I’m okay with that now.

*Everything you do is a workout! That’s right…every time you pull a cookie sheet out of the oven, pick up a crying baby, or hand a platter of meat to the child next to you, you are doing work and your muscles must be engaged or you are straining.

*Contractions are more important that headlifts. If you only have time for one exercise during a particularly busy day, do the contractions rather than the headlifts.  And you can do these contractions just about anywhere.

*Watch how you pick up baby! If you can, pull baby close to your belly to keep your DR from popping out and always, always engage those muscles when you are doing the “work” of picking up baby!

*It’s never too late. I’ve had many moms ask me if it is too late for them because their baby is 10 years old or more.  Well, guess what?!  Even men have this condition and they NEVER had a baby!  So, it is never too late.  Jump in where you are and heal the damage!

*It’s more about the connective tissue than the gap. If you have only a 1 or 2 DR yet have very deep connective tissue damage, you will actually have a harder time healing than someone who has a much larger gap with shallow connective tissue damage.  This is one reason I am thrilled about the connective tissue healing I’ve seen!

*Wear the splint, wear the splint, wear the splint until your DR is a shallow 1 or 2. Yes, I know that feels like forever, but I’m right here with you. :)

*Closure of you DR is NOT permanent. That is tough for me to write.  This is not the end.  There is no end.  Hopefully, though, you will have trained your muscles to hold themselves in at all times and you will not undo the healing you have done.  Be aware of your tummy and remember that everything you do is work!

So, I keep moving forward from here.  No longer will I be chronicling using the weeks as a label because I realize now I can’t do that and be true to the needs of my body.  If I have a bad week, I have to go back, blog or not.  And I promised you all the nitty-gritty details no matter how ugly they were.  Well, this is one of those lessons I’ve learned through this journey.

I also found out Julie is hoping to put together a FREE conference call where you can sit in on a Q&A session with her.  She’ll compile all the questions she gets and work her way through them.  Julie is also working on a 6 week online support program that will hopefully launch in January.  Visit her site: DiastasisRehab.com or her facebook page to stay up to date on what Julie is working on.

Toddlers, Babies, and Your Homeschool

He’s 2.

He’s busy.

And if you are reading this, then you probably have one too and I’m preachin’ to the choir!

When I mentioned my curriculum for my younger crowd, I also mentioned our Toddler Box.

This box is something I put together specifically for my 2 year old to keep him busy during school hours. He is only to get it out when we are having school and only in the same room.  Once his brother is finished with his school work (about 30 mins), he puts it away (with a lot of help from me…yeah, we’re working on that) and they go in the adjoining room to play.

What’s in the Toddler Box?

  • puzzles
  • pipe cleaners
  • alphabet stamps
  • paper
  • crayons
  • cloth tape measure
  • magnifying glass
  • books
  • anything I think would catch his interest for 30 minutes at a time

Your toddler box doesn’t have to be full of new and exciting stuff, it just has to be full of stuff! You could put cookie cutters and cotton balls, blocks and cars, sewing cards or a deck of cards in there or you could get really motivated and create something like:

Clothesline Busy Bag from Money Saving Mom

Ice Cream Shoppe from Spell Outloud

Farm Yard & Dino Land from Tired, Need Sleep

But truth be told, your toddler doesn’t really care, so don’t live your life feeling guilty for not creating uber-cute Montessori inspired playthings for him. Just throw some things in a box that he can only open during school hours and call it done.  {If you can manage more, then go right ahead and have fun while you do it!}

And guess where the Toddler Box goes?

Right in line (by age) with the other kids’ crates!  That really makes Micah feel like he’s “doing school” with the big kids.

Now, I know some of you are thinking,

“There is no way MY toddler would sit still for 30 minutes no matter what cool stuff you stuck in a box and called school.”

Mine either.  That’s why he opens the toddler box on the floor right beside where I am.  That way I can direct some of his play.

Pipe cleaners are great for this!  When he starts to lose interest in his books and other things, I say,

“Micah, make me a tree!”

And he makes me a…

TREE!

Or I say,

“Micah, investigate that book over there.”

And he…

INVESTIGATES!

And this creates a minimal amount of work for me and can be done quickly between math problems or phonics lessons.

But what about Baby?  My baby is 9 months old now.  {How did that happen?!}

I really try hard to time his nap with school hours (at least the teacher-intensive school hours).  He typically goes down for a nap around 10am, so that is often when school begins around here.

If his nap isn’t going to coincide well with school, I just take him down with me and he plays nearby or I hold him or if he’s really squirmy, I have one of the older kids take him for a bit.  My 6 year old daughter is also really good with him, so if she’s done with her work, she’ll take him to the play room and play with him there {again, school only takes her about 30 mins).

When there are babies in the house, you have to be creative and not hold too high of an expectation for yourself or your school day.  It’s not going to look like “school at home” (nor should it), it will look more like home with a little bit of school mixed in. {The Christian Home School by Gregg Harris and Educating The WholeHearted Child by Sally Clarkson are books that do a great job of “fleshing out” this concept.  I highly recommend both books!}

You do not need everyone in the same room doing school at the same time.

You do not need to do every single subject the public school does.

You do not need to make your family conform to school, but rather conform school to your family.

Let it meet YOUR needs and not the other way around!

So, how do you handle babies and toddlers during school hours?

The Tummy Chronicles – Q & A


This was Week 3.  The results weren’t quite as astounding as the previous couple of weeks, but I am beginning to “see” internal healing.

When I checked my diastasis this week, I am fairly certain it is not the huge 10+ finger width it was at the beginning.  However, it is so hard to tell when the gap is THAT large.  That said, I continue to feel the connective tissue heal and become less deep!

Next week is the BIG WEEK…the one everyone says might knock me flat on my face!  Pray for me!

Today, I thought I’d take a moment to answer some reader questions that have come up along the way.  I try to answer whatever questions come up as they come up, but I thought it might be of benefit to others to see the answers as well.  So, here’s a little Q&A session!

Q. I only have a small diastasis.  Should I even bother?

A.  A resounding YES!  This isn’t something that gets better all by itself and there is a good chance if you don’t close it now, it WILL get bigger.  What I wouldn’t give to have known I could have prevented this!  You are at the perfect place to solve the problem before it really is a problem!

Q.  Is the splint safe to wear during pregnancy?

A.  According to Julie, YES.  However, if it is uncomfortable, do not wear the splint, but DO keep up with your exercises.

Q.  Is this splint the same as a compression garment?

A.  NO.  When you put on the splint/s, you move the recti muscles into position before strapping the splint into place.  Compression garments only CONCEAL, they do not HEAL and your muscles remain in the wrong place.  The brace I used to recommend did a better job than compression garments, but I realize now it isn’t as good at approximating the muscles as wearing the Tupler splints, so I only use it when I’m washing the Tupler splints.

Q.  Do I need the book, the splint, AND the DVD?

A. NO.  I recommend the DVD, the splint/s and the guidebook, but if you think you can handle writing it down on your own (something I don’t seem to be very good at doing), then you can forgo getting the guidebook.  The Mummy Tummy book is older and Julie said it is needing an update.  I also found the DVD to be easier for me to really get a grasp of how to do the exercises.

Q.  How do you pronounce this condition?

A.  This is one I got an education on!  It is di AS tasis.

Q.  How do I measure?

A.  Julie has an explanation on her site (HERE), but I’ve heard many of you say you still don’t quite get it.  When I first measured, I was lifting my head and feeling the muscles move together and THEN measuring…well, THAT is wrong.  That makes my diastasis seem smaller.  Lift your head ONLY to find out WHERE those muscles are (they will feel like ropes on either side of your belly), then lower your head and measure with your fingers side by side to see how many finger-widths the two “ropes” are apart BEFORE they ever begin to come together. I had to say 10+ because I could put all 8 of my fingers (thumbs don’t factor in here) spread out and moving from side to side in the gap between the muscles!  ACK!

Q. How long do the exercises take?

A.  The first 3 weeks haven’t been much time at all.  It takes about 2½ minutes per Contraction exercise.  So, we are talking 5-10 minutes 3x a day (and you can do them in the car!)  I’ll let you know how long Week 4+ is taking…

Q. Is it safe to do this with an umbilical hernia?

A.  YES.  The hernia is often a result of diastasis recti.

Q.  The splint is folding over.  What’s wrong?

A.  You either need a second one or you need to wash it to let it regain it’s shape.  At least those are the answers I’ve found to be the case.  If you think you might need a second one, call or email Julie and get her opinion.

Q.  I had my “baby” many years ago.  Can I still heal?

A.  YES!   My muscles split back in 2006.  Since then, I’ve had 3 more children and I am seeing healing!  You can do this!

I will not be checking in next week (I know, I know…after I told you about that scary Week 4!), but I will be back in 2 weeks to let you know how I’m doing!  Keep me posted on your progress as well!