Category Archives: Baby Stuff

Good Nights

We are a family who likes to sleep.

We are also a family who likes to sleep in places other than our own beds.  As I am typing this, my husband is asleep in the chair across from me, my toddler is tangled up in the covers in my bed, and the rest of the children (minus the baby) are having a slumber party in the boy’s room!

But, the actual sleeping isn’t usually the issue in a growing family, now is it?

It’s either the getting to sleep or the staying asleep that causes us angst.

Nicole asked
How do you deal with sleep issues?…I feel exhausted with nursing a baby and having waking toddlers. I’m leery of them sharing a room too soon because I’m scared they would wake each other up! How do you do it? Do you sleep train your kids?

To answer these questions, I thought I’d give you a glimpse of what we do, what works, what doesn’t, and what I’d like to see us do better, and then turn it over to all of you!

The rooms are divided up as Girls and Boys. The baby currently sleeps in our room in his crib for most of the night and in bed with me some of the night (he is very easily congested and doesn’t do well co-sleeping).

I usually move baby out of our room about the time baby turns 10 months or so. That is a totally arbitrary age.  It just seems, for some reason, about that time frame is when I feel like I need them to start sleeping through the night, and sleeping through the night is better facilitated outside of my room.  It usually takes me another couple of months to get them to the point of sleeping through the night.  So, yes, in a sense I do sleep train, but it’s a pretty wimpy version of what most people mean when they say “sleep train.” I really like the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  I use a lot of her ideas when I move baby to a different room.

The room I move baby to depends on which room is the calmest at night. Currently, that would be the girls room; however, this has not always been the case.  I have a daughter who struggled with sleep issues for many years.  A couple of years ago, her room would not have been a good place for baby.

When I moved Micah out of our room, he went into a room by himself for a time.  I managed to create this environment by putting our preschool aged son in his sister’s room and moving my oldest downstairs to a small room of his own (which he hated, by the way…so much for kids needing their own rooms, huh?).  We kept this arrangement until Micah was able to go to sleep calmly, at which time we put his brother back in the room with him.

The little boys' toddler beds.

I have found that at a certain point, children become immune to the cries of a baby in the night. I don’t know what the precise age is, but around here it seems by about 20 months, they don’t even flinch in their sleep when they hear a baby cry.  In fact, I remember nights of babies crying very loudly for a very long time and my oldest son sleeping right through it all!

In order to cope with the inevitable sleepless nights, we have a mandatory Rest Time. Each afternoon, I either snuggle up with the toddler or the baby while everyone else heads to their beds or another secluded area of the house, for an hour of rest.  And yes, I sleep too!  I find having the children in their own beds works best for keeping them “restful” during this time. However, if I really want the toddler to sleep, he almost invariably has to be in my arms…which is fine with me since warm squishy toddlers make for warm sleepy mommies!  It isn’t uncommon for me to get the toddler to sleep while we sit cuddled up in the recliner, only to eventually move to the couch with the baby because he’s awakened and fall back asleep with him in my arms.  (I seriously look forward to this time of day!)

As you know, bedtime here is later than in many households, and all the children (except for the baby, who is usually down by 8pm) go to bed at the same time.  This greatly reduces the desire of the children to get up and see what might be going on that they are missing by being in bed.  I suppose at some point this will have to change, but for now, it works well.

We try to keep a rhythm to our evenings as well. Around 7:30 or so, life begins to slow.  On bath night, they bathe and put on jammies and often snuggle up on the couch for Bible Time or a movie or grab a book to read.  About 8:50, the evening paraphernalia is put away and teeth are brushed, prayers are said, and children are carted off to bed.

We do not allow a lot of commotion after everyone is in bed. That means no jabbering, no getting out of bed, no asking Mommy for this or that.  Now, don’t get me wrong, all this still happens, we just keep a pretty tight rein on it all.  That said, I do try to stay in tune with my children to decide if what they need is truly a need. I do take the time to sit up and talk with children who need to hash something out or get a drink for a child who truly is parched.  I’ve come to realize you cannot parent with an iron fist because not everything is done in defiance.  Parenting with wisdom is much more effective.

A Breastfeeding Journey – Part 2


(Part 1 of this journey can be found HERE.)

On with the story…

Chapter 5

I was now pregnant with my 5th child; this being the second time I had become pregnant while practicing ecological breastfeeding (breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, etc).  I nursed through the pregnancy until my 5th month when my father died.  With preparations and time spent at his bedside, I found myself spending long stretches of time away from my 4th child.  When we were reunited, he no longer wanted to nurse.  Emotionally run down and physically exhausted, I allowed him to wean. He was 13 months old.  4 months later, his little sister Emily was born.

Chapter 6

My nursing relationship with Emily was publicly chronicled in my award-winning post entitled Breastfeeding:  The Memory of Emily.  You will have to excuse me if I do not recount that story here.  This chapter is painfully short, as was my precious daughter’s life.

Chapter 7

As with my other babies, I had already been cycling regularly while nursing Emily.  6 weeks after her death, I found out I was pregnant with who would become our New Year’s baby, little Micah.  However, his birth did not go as I had expected, and a tramatic emergency c-section put wrenches in our breastfeeding relationship from the get-go.  I was too weak and tired to nurse him in a way that would boost my milk production for my “little” 10# 6 ounce baby boy.  He required supplementation, which led to nipple confusion, which led to frustration.  A month later, after I was finally healed from the surgery,  I took him to bed with me for the day and walked away from the bottles forever.

Chapter 8

For the first time EVER, my cycles did not return until my newest baby was 9 months old!  I was overjoyed!  What was different?  The only thing I can even remotely attribute this to was the fact that our diet now consisted of entirely organic meat.  It’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it.

The day Micah turned 1, I got a positive pregnancy test.  He was weaned shortly thereafter…for personal reasons.

Chapter 9

In case you are counting, that is now 5 babies in just at 6 years, with Garin being born 19 days after my 3rd child’s 6th birthday.  Of my 7 children, ONLY the ones born less than 2 years apart were conceived while I was breastfeeding. Sometimes you do everything “right” and God still bless! ;)

Garin is nearly 4 months old, is exclusively breastfed, and nurses whenever he pleases.  By his own choice, he does not take a pacifier and has yet to figure out that his thumb can be peeled away from the rest of his fist so as to make only his thumb sopping wet, rather than his entire body.

He was not an easy baby to nurse in the beginning.  Let’s just say the word PIRANHA is what comes to mind when I think of those early weeks.  In addition to that, he was colicky until about a month ago.  Add to that postpartum depression for the first time ever and you get a little bit of a nightmare, but we stayed the course.  He nurses fantastically now, he’s a happy little guy most days, and my hormones are beginning to level.

The rest of this chapter has yet to be written.  I don’t have a breastfeeding philosophy because I’ve never managed to have two children exactly alike. All I know is breastfeeding has been a wonderful experience, but not always an easy one.  I cherish these years, and I am sure when I am an old woman, I will dearly miss having a nursling in my arms.

A Breastfeeding Journey – Part 1

Several of you have asked about our breastfeeding and weaning practices.  While I know how volatile this subject can be, I’ve decided to go ahead and give you our story in the hopes you might see yourself among my words and possibly learn something new about yourself and/or others.

Chapter 1

Baby #1 is born.  I am 21 and know no one who has breastfed with any success.  While I have heard of La Leche League, what I have heard has been coated in a tone of disdain.  However, I am determined to breastfeed my son for at least 2 weeks.

He is born via C-section and weighs in at 8# 15 oz.  I am told he needs formula.  So, we supplement.  He does well nursing and supplementing, but I am in pain.  Cracked and bleeding, I turn to breast shells to get me through.  {Oh, and did I tell you my husband kept saying I had promised to give it 2 weeks and I couldn’t go back on my promise?  He’s pretty much the only reason I kept going.}

However, I was in college and I figured the only way to get my son to sleep through the night so I could function during the day was to give him formula.  Plus, I was going to be driving a combine {yes, the kind you cut wheat with} for my dad in a few months and thought I would need to have him completely weaned by then anyway.

At 2½ months, my first child was fully weaned.

Chapter 2

It is nearly 3 years later, and I have made friends with a few people who have breastfed successfully past 2 weeks.  In fact, one mother lasted 9 months and also attends La Leche League.  She assures me they are not lunatics.  I am encouraged to try again, this time setting my goal at 1 year.

But baby is jaundice.  And she nurses poorly.  We use a SNS (Supplemental Nursing System…something I am told is no longer used) and after weeks of hard work, she nurses like a champ.  I treasure my nights nursing her in a chair in her room with soft music in the background.  When she is old enough for a cup, I supplement with formula here and there.

At 1 year, she is weaned.

Here is where I reveal something not so pleasant.  I weaned my daughter because I wanted another baby.  You see, rather than fully enjoying the blessings I had been given, I was getting ahead of myself.  I figured breastfeeding my daughter was holding me back from another pregnancy, and when I became sick with the flu right around the time she turned 1 year old, I found my excuse to quit nursing.

Was she traumatized?  No…but I learned a valuable lesson during the next 3 years.

Chapter 3

Weaning my daughter did not afford me the blessing of another baby.  It was nearly 4 years and many hard lessons later, when I finally gave birth to my 3rd child.  During those years, I grieved weaning my 2nd born.

But this new little one nursed beautifully from the beginning.  This time I set no end date.

I had learned more.  I wanted more.  I nursed “on-demand,” I co-slept, when she got bigger, I side-carred the crib to our bed.  She was my first baby to be worn.  We lived together in a perfect rhythm.  She rarely cried.  And I felt like maybe this time I was doing it “right.”

But when she was 3 months old, my cycles came back.

Because I had always supplemented, I was sure that when I practiced ecological breastfeeding, my cycles would stay away.  I had heard of a year or better of amenorrhea, so I was shocked and saddened when this did not prove to be the case for me.

And then I became pregnant.

My little one was just 7 months old.

And then came the accusations. I must have done something “wrong.”  Surely I didn’t really co-sleep or nurse on demand.  I was probably slipping a bottle in there every now and then or putting her on a schedule.  The truth was she was exclusively breastfed (meaning she’d was not eating solids yet), she did not take a pacifier or suck her thumb (which would naturally space her feedings) and she nursed whenever and wherever she pleased.  We were a walking “exception to the rule.”

Determined to do my best with the circumstances I had been handed, I nursed through the pregnancy and tandem nursed for months after the new baby’s birth.

And then it happened again.

Despite the fact that I was tandem nursing two children born 16 months apart, I started cycling almost immediately.

Chapter 4

I weaned my 3rd child at 22 months because I could no longer handle the demands of a nursing infant and a nursing toddler.  I continued to co-sleep and nurse my newest little one on demand, but I no longer believed in amenorrhea…at least not for me.  I did my best to field the comments and accusations as to what I might be doing “wrong,” all the while knowing in my heart, I had done everything I knew to do.

And when baby #4 was 8 months old, I became pregnant again.

To be continued…

Potty Training My Way

I chuckled when I read Sally’s comment asking how I potty train.  I remember well the days of full-blown potty training.  I’m about to be there again with this little guy:

Before I begin mucking about in this topic, let me give you a quick run-down of my potty-training experience:

4 children potty trained (which does not qualify me for “expert”):

Child #1 (boy) – Took 2 full years, starting at age 18 months.

Child #2 (girl) – Took 2 days, starting at age 2.

Child #3 (girl) – Took 2 weeks, starting at age 2.

Child #4 (boy) – Took 1 week, starting at age 2 1/2.

OBVIOUSLY, I had no idea what I was doing with Child #1 (and he has calmly accepted his position as the guinea pig, I mean firstborn.)

Why on earth did it take 2 years to potty train him?  2 words:

Uptight Mommy

I remember well the day I put my screaming son on the toilet, only to be attacked by the family cat because she thought I was hurting him.  And the day he pooped his pants 3 times in Hobby Lobby on what was supposed to be a lovely Mother-Son outing.  And the time we were looking at a rental and he pooped on the sidewalk in front of the landlord, who still decided to rent the house to us after that.

I could go on and on and on (and my crazy kids LOVE these stories!), but what it all came down to was a mommy who thought she would be an utter failure if she didn’t have her child potty-trained by the time he was 2.  Why?  Because it would reflect poorly on my mothering skills.

What a waste of energy I spent during those years of on-again-off-again potty training of a child who clearly wasn’t in the mood.  I was losing a battle I never should have been engaged in in the first place.

So, my potty-training philosophy has changed since then…dramatically.  Here’s what I do now:

*We talk about being potty trained in every day settings. When I change a diaper I mention how nice it will be when they are potty trained and don’t have to be in yucky ole diapers.  When an older sibling heads for the bathroom, I tell them that they are going to the bathroom like a big boy/girl.  It’s never pushy, but I definitely make it clear that toilets are for big kids.

*We take non-stressful opportunities to sit on the toilet. A good time for this is before bath time or at the first diaper change of the day.  I help steady them on the toilet and stay there for as long as they think it is a good idea.  Eventually, they start initiating toilet time.

*I push the liquids. When I think they definitely have the idea, I push the liquids so they have ample opportunity to go.

Now, here’s where it gets a little cheesy…

*I sprinkle warm water. I do this more to give them the idea that potty is supposed to come out and go in the toilet the way the water is going in the toilet, rather than the traditional use of this method to try to cause them to begin pottying.

*I make potty sounds. I do this so they know what sound their potty will make and recognize that sound when it happens as the right noise.

*I let them run around in oversized t-shirts and no underwear. Pull-ups and the like are not helpful in potty training.  The child stays too dry to care.  No undies make for quick trips to the toilet.  This isn’t always my method of choice; however, because what you gain in less undies to wash, you make up for in more t-shirts to wash and floors to wipe up.  Not the best trade-off.

*If after a few days the accidents do not show a decline in frequency, I back down to the the introduction phase and wait a while before picking back up with actual potty training again. I don’t need to make my day any more stressful than it already is, and I refuse to be the one who is trained, rather than the child.

And that’s it!  Pretty simple and stress-free.

Now, since potty training happens to be one of those Hot Topics for mamas, I’m going to add a Linky (bet ole McLinky’s never seen a Potty Training Link Up!), so if you happen to write a post (or already have a post archived) here in the next couple of days on how YOU go about potty training your brood, it would be quite helpful to have you link up so other mamas can get some good ideas!  Thanks!

The Perfect Diastasis Recti Brace!

NOTE:  I no longer feel I can wholeheartedly endorse this product as it did begin to ride a bit in the back after several months of use.  I am therefore, not going to include it in the Diastasis Recti From a Mom’s Perspective Page.

I feel like shouting from the roof of my house!  FINALLY!  Finally, I’ve found a brace that covers my diastasis completely, stays put, isn’t too bulky, and is comfortable!  YIPPEE!

OK, a little background for those of you who don’t know what I am talking about…

About a year ago, I did something I swore I would never do…I posted pregnant belly pics.  For most people that’s no big deal.  For me, it was huge…literally.  I have what is called a diastasis recti, which means in layman’s terms a split in my stomach muscles.  My split is complete from top to bottom.  I always look pregnant to some extent.  It is a condition that is very difficult for me to deal with emotionally and physically. Someday I hope to have the surgery to correct it, but that someday is not now.

So, I told you in my Pregnant and Huge post that I wore something SIMILAR to the brace pictured there.  However, I didn’t realize how very UN-similar what I owned was to that brace until I actually purchased the brace in that post.  You see, the brace I did own was worn out.  I needed something new, so I ordered a new brace from PainReliever.com.  I was so excited to try this new brace because it looked so much sturdier than the one I did own.  The difference was drastic and utterly AMAZING!

See for yourself…

Notice the bulge?

The bulge is gone!

My diastasis recti brace is actually listed as a “back support brace”; however, it also lists abdominal compression as one of its attributes.  And boy, let me tell you, it works!  The brace is 9″ wide, so even the largest diastasis is covered by the brace.  The velcro on the brace is ultra strong and the extra straps help compress my muscles even more.

And it is comfortable!  Now that is saying a lot!  Most of the braces I’ve worn outside of pregnancy I want to take off the second I put them on.  This one I wear day after day and never feel that way.  I will admit my back does get a bit sweaty, but it doesn’t soak through to my shirt, so I can live with that.

I know the price may seem a bit steep, but if you have a diastasis recti, you know what life is like always fielding the “when are you due” questions, not having your clothes fit right, and always feeling uncomfortable.  The way I feel wearing this brace is well worth the $47.91.

**Through a wonderful series of events I was able to receive my diastasis recti brace for free; however, I would not hesitate to spend the money to get another one (and probably will once I lose enough weight to justify a smaller size).**

I just cannot say enough good about this brace and what it has done for me!  I feel like things are more “together”.  I can bend and lift and not worry about doing even more damage to my muscles. My clothes fit better, and I just feel better.  Thank you so much, PainReliever.com!  I could just hug you!

Come see what I’ve been up to since I wrote this post!  You’ll be amazed!