Now that we live in the country there is room for the children to run and explore.  There are woods by the house, a pasture out back, and hiking trails and an old homestead across the road.

The first time I let the children out to play, they spent 2 1/2 hours out there before I finally rang the bell by the house to call them in.

As I watched the children work and play endlessly and tirelessly, I began to consider something our society seems to be lacking.

Creative boredom.

While I do not believe children should be left to themselves (Prov. 29:15), I do believe they should not need to be entertained by others (including such “others” as T.V., video games, etc).

Always feeling like the need to be entertained leads to UNcreative boredom; whereas, creative boredom happens when children have the ability to turn their boredom into something useful and productive.

However, we cannot expect them to come up with useful and productive things to do if we consistently feed their boredom with mindlessness.

For instance,

“I’m bored.” – “Go watch a movie.”

“I’m bored.” – “Go play your video game.”

“I’m bored.” – “Go away.”

If you have a child who constantly says he’s bored or a child who has come to believe the only way to cure boredom is with flashy entertainment, then it will take a bit more help on your part to get them to a place where they become creative with their boredom.

As a parent, you must:

• Provide the tools
• Provide the time
• Provide the support

Provide the tools

Not everyone can provide an old chicken coop to work on, but that’s what we had and when they asked if they could clean it out, we gave our blessings and sent the chicken coop crew on their way.  Two days later it was clean enough for chickens…and an air soft bunker.

Give your children resources likes a hammer and nails, a wagon and buckets.  If they show an interest in some project, don’t ignore that interest, feed it!

If you don’t help foster creativity and productivity, you can guarantee they will eventually quit trying and go back to uncreative boredom – it’s easier.  (There are the rare exceptions who just keep pushing the limits despite the lack of help from parents.)

Provide the time

Our society is burning the candle at both ends…including the children.  Few children have time to ever get to the place where they are bored enough to be creative.  Their lives are filled to the brim with activities.

Sometimes it is OUR fault.

We don’t want them to miss out on this activity or this sport or this gathering.  Yet, children need time.  They need to know how to slow down…to be observant.

Give your children time.

Provide the support

When our oldest daughter showed a true interest in photography, we looked for ways to support her.  It was a useful way to spend her time.  The results are that as an 11 year old, she provides nearly all the photos for Raising Arrows.  If we hadn’t chosen to support her in this interest even though she was young, we would have missed this great talent and tremendous blessing from the Lord.

If you do nothing else for your children, at the very least show genuine interest and support in their creativity.  They will find a way to keep striving to take their boredom and turn it into something worthwhile.
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Before you link up this week, I want to tell you a quick story…
Last week, we played host to 5 amazing young men.  All of them, including my own son, were going to a leadership school called TeenPact.  These young men have all been allowed the tools, time and support to push the limits of what is considered possible by today’s youth.  We were so blessed to have them here!

At one point, we had 28 people under our roof.  During that time, I came to appreciate the ingenuity of DrinkBands even more than I had with just my family here.  We were able to find everyone’s drinks easily and it cut down on the washing tremendously.

I am so thrilled to be able to bring you DrinkBands as this month’s sponsor of the Welcome Home Link Up! And offer you 10% off any DrinkBand purchase during the month of March using coupon code:

On the long car ride home, I looked back to see my oldest daughter sleeping soundly while my youngest child pulled her hair, pinched her nose, and stuck his hand over her mouth.  When his antics finally roused her from her deep slumber, she looked him in the eye and said,

You little stinker!

Awww, sibling love!

Sometimes it looks like two boys tumbling over each other in a wrestling match.  Sometimes it looks like two girls whispering through bunk beds late at night.  Sometimes it looks like a little brother standing at the door waiting for his big brother to come home.  Sometimes it looks like a big sister scratching a little brother’s back.

The sibling relationships around here aren’t perfect, but they aren’t what most people consider the norm either.  My children actually like each other!

In an effort to foster the sibling relationships in our home, Ty and I have done a few things that we’d like to share with you in the hopes that you too can reap some long-lasting deeply-bonded sibling relationships between your children.

Don’t dwell on the negative.  Our society expects terrible sibling relationships.  In fact, I believe traditional school even encourages enmity between siblings by separating them and inadvertently teaching them that anyone not their same age is not worth spending time with.  It simply is not “cool” to hang out with your siblings.  If we buy into this and foster this negative outlook on siblings, we end up encouraging strife as a norm.

Don’t build walls.  We have one child who flies off the handle easier than the others.  At one point, I made the mistake of focusing in on that with the other siblings nearby.  It took me a long time to remedy that.  No, she shouldn’t fly off the handle, but my job as mom isn’t to call her out in front of her siblings, but rather to take her aside and guide her back to reconciliation with them.  If I am constantly pointing out the faults of one sibling in front of another, I will build walls I will eventually be unable to tear down.

Make “togetherness” the norm.  While we do allow our children their own space, we do not encourage them to spend massive amounts of time doing their “own thing.”  We do take our children out separately on occasion, but more often than not, another sibling comes along.  And more often than not, they WANT another sibling to come along.

Talk about their bond.  Since losing Emily, we talk to our girls a lot about how they are the only sisters they have and how important it is that they foster that relationship.  We don’t do it in a preachy way, just a matter-of-fact way.  We talk about how perhaps one day one of the brothers will work with another brother.  It might never happen, and we certainly don’t expect it, but there is no harm in building that bond with our words.

Encourage their similarities.  My children are all so different, but they also have similar likes and interests that I believe deserve to be encouraged as a way to build that bond between siblings.  All too often, we focus on differences and forget the lovely similarities that exist too.  However, that brings me to my final point…

Complementary rather than comparison.  Siblings are often far more different than the same, but rather than make that a comparison or a black and white contrast, find ways to show them how those difference work together within the dynamics of the family.  My oldest is a talkative planner while the next sibling in line is the quiet, creative type.  He plans trips while she takes the photos and journals her way through vacation.  Together, they offer a complimentary benefit to the family.  So, rather than making sibling differences insurmountable, we choose to point out ways each siblings strengths compliment the rest of the family’s strengths.

It’s all about strengthening, encouraging, and loving the individuals who make up the community you call a family!