Are You a Gentle Homemaker?

Are you a Gentle Homemaker? | RaisingArrows.net

(this post contains affiliate links)

I didn’t come to marriage and motherhood with a natural tenderness.  I wasn’t one of those girls who loved babysitting and cooed over newborn babies.  I was easily caught up in my own little world.

Tenderness toward children and spouse isn’t something easily taught.  Gentleness as a woman comes from a gentle spirit.  It is an outward overflowing of a peaceful woman resting in Christ.  A gentle homemaker is one who exudes peace in her home, but maybe you are wondering how you will ever get to a place where your heart is peaceful enough to be seen in your every day life.

I have found there to be 2 factors in my life that determine my outward gentleness:

  1. My willingness to trust the Lord.
  2. My willingness to order my life.

Willingness to Trust God

If you are unsettled and edgy, it is often because you have not abandoned everything to the Lord.  You are either trying to control things or stressing over the things you cannot control.  This bleeds over into your mothering and homekeeping.

“If we have a list of priorities then we can use it as a safety net. The problem with this is that it can interfere with the work God has for you. You should not be a slave to the order of this list. Make no mistake; God is a God of order, His order, not ours.”
Amy Bayliss, Pursuit of Proverbs 31

How many times have I had a stressful situation or personal crisis that consumed me and made me a grouchy mommy?  Those times have almost always been marked by a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty.  I choose to try to control rather than choose to release my grip and trust that God has it in the palm of His hand.

Reckless Abandon

Reckless Abandon

Trusting God in all things, especially the super stressful, feels like a deep breath.  It feels like throwing your arms open wide and letting your heart, mind, and soul relax.  It is beautiful!

When you have this reckless abandonment to Christ, you can face your day with a gentle spirit.  Your circumstances do not consume you because you know God has every aspect of your day covered.

Willingness to Keep Order

It is impossible to have an everything-running-smoothly day every day.  God has a lot for us, and in that abundance of life comes new and different opportunities.  So, this section is not about how to have the perfect day, but rather how to prioritize and troubleshoot your life so you can work out kinks that are wrecking your peace.

First of all, may I suggest my ebook:

10 Days to a Peaceful Home | RaisingArrows.netThis book goes through individual parts of your day and how to find peace in them.  I will also be presenting a session on this topic at the Teach Them Diligently Convention in Omaha on June 1.

What I want to do in this post; however, is give you a broader idea of where to start when it comes to being willing to keep an orderly life.

It’s About Priorities

In the above quote from Amy Bayliss, we see that we cannot be a slave to our lists, but we also shouldn’t ignore our responsibilities.  We all know our weaknesses when it comes to homemaking.  We know what things about being a wife and mother are the hardest for us, but the real issue is not knowing our trouble areas, but rather what we end up doing about them.

In Jenni Mullinix’s book Clean (Enough): Simple Solutions for the Overwhelmed Homemaker, she says:

“When you strive to develop a proper mindset toward your role as a homemaker, and align your attitude with the Word of God, housework can become worship.”

You have to develop a proper mindset and start working toward solving some of the homemaking issues you struggle with.  I believe even the act of searching out ways to be a better homemaker, wife, and mother would be worship of our Lord.  We have to be willing to order our days according to the Lord in a way that honors and glorifies Him.

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**This sale has ended.  Thank you to all who purchased!**

When I was asked to be a part of the Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle, I was so excited because it meant homemaking resources I own or have wanted to own would all be available to everyone at an affordable price.  It meant ebooks (like the ones mentioned above) written by Christian homemakers just like you.  It meant resources focused on pointing you toward God and His abundance in your every day life.

But you have to be willing to accept that abundance or nothing you do or try will work.

Ask Him to fill your heart with peace.  Ask Him to bring you to a place where you hunger and thirst after Him.  Ask Him to point out your trouble areas and why those things are keeping you from peace.  Ask Him to be the Lord of everything in your life!

Even your homemaking.

After you finish reading this post, please take a moment to quiet your heart and give your day to the One who gave you this day.  I am praying peace and gentleness for all of you today.

Warning: We Are a Normal Family…sort of {WHW}

Warning:  We Are a Normal Family | RaisingArrows.net

My daughter saw this sign in a store we were in a few weeks back and it made her laugh so hard, she decided she had to have a picture of it (for the record, she takes photos of EVERYTHING…no, I’m not exaggerating…EVERYTHING!)

I got to thinking about this sign and why it is so funny, because frankly, deception really isn’t all that funny, but the reason we laugh at this sign is because every family has things that make them a unique entity…and not everyone in the world would understand those things.  We keep those things to ourselves so we don’t scare people.

Recently, we had a young man staying with us while he worked in a neighboring city.  We’ve known his family for years, but there is a big HUGE difference between knowing someone and living with someone (ahem…marriage anyone?)  Our family is loud.  We laugh a lot.  We can frankly be down right obnoxious.  Every night, as we said goodnight to our house guest, I wondered what he must think of us.

You see, I imagine life in his family as quiet, calm, and filled with a whole lot more tact and reserve than we manage here in our household.  But, if I were looking at this objectively, I would have to admit that his household has a uniqueness all its own that I will never know…unless I go live with them.  They are perfectly normal…except for that one thing I don’t know about them. ;)

So, it’s not that we set out to deceive when we look like a normal family, it’s actually that we ARE a normal family because we aren’t all that normal behind the scenes!  It’s okay that your family doesn’t look exactly like Susie So-and-so’s family at church, and it’s okay for others not to know every nitty-gritty detail of your family life (Facebook status included, thank you very much!).  There isn’t any family mold named NORMAL that you can pour yourselves into and come out squeaky clean.  Your family is unique – revel in it!

So, next time you see our family in the supermarket and my husband is loudly singing some Elvis song and my daughter is taking photos of food on the shelves and my son is pretending the bananas are Army sniper rifles, just remember…it’s a whole lot crazier at home!

And this, my friends, is perfectly normal.

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Filter Your Own Movies Using enJoy Movies Your Way

enJoy Movies Your Way movie filtering softwareI was compensated for my time reviewing this product, writing this review, and hosting the giveaway.  The opinions stated below are my own.

Have you ever watched a movie and thought it was really great…except for that one scene?  Or maybe you have wanted to watch a certain movie with the kids, but there are a couple of bad words you can’t get past.

There are companies out there that have a library of movies you can choose from that have been “cleaned up”, but let me introduce you to a company that actually allows you to clean up DVDs yourself to better suit the individual needs of your family.

Review & Givewaway of enJoy Movies Your Way | RaisingArrows.ent I had looked into other programs that filtered movies, but many of the movies we owned were not available.  Plus, many of the things we would like deleted or muted were not filtered out by other programs, and yet, scenes we didn’t mind were deleted.  When I heard that enJoy Movies Your Way gave parents total control over DVDs, I was intrigued and signed up for a free trial.

How enJoy Movies Your Way Works

enJoy Movies Your Way is a software program you download to your computer (note: this software works with Windows Vista and Windows 7, but not with Mac or Windows 8; however, a Windows 8 version will be coming soon!).  When you put a movie into your DVD drive and start up the enJoy software, you can mark the scenes you want to skip or mute.  Once you have marked all the scenes, you simply use the customized filter you have created to watch the movie.

Because enJoy Movies Your Way gives you total control of what scenes you deem inappropriate, you don’t have to worry at all about what your children might see or hear.

For instance, we used enJoy to filter National Treasure.

National Treasure
One of the scenes that drives me crazy is when Ben, Riley, and Abigail show up at Ben’s father’s door in the middle of the night and his father immediately assumes Abigail is pregnant.  While this scene is explainable to my big kids, my little kids aren’t really old enough to get it, nor do I want them to.  I’d rather that whole exchange didn’t exist.

Well, guess what?!  With enJoy, I was able to delete it!

ntscene

Another neat thing you can do with enJoy is choose what ages the filter is for.  I set up profiles for my younger kids and my older kids, so that I can use different filter settings depending on who is watching the movie, but most of the time I find myself using the same filter for everyone.

Creating filters is explained via video and/or pdf files, so you can familiarize yourself with how to get the best results for every movie you want to filter.  (PLEASE watch/read these – trust me, you don’t want to try to just jump in and figure it out on your own – ask me how I know! *blush*)  The process is quite easy once you get the hang of it.  You can do everything from delete entire scenes (like I did) to simply muting certain words.  I’ve actually gotten good enough with it that I can be watching the movie via the filter software and mark the scenes as I go.

The Pros and Cons of enJoy Movies Your Way

I will be honest, this is not as quick as using a pre-programmed software, but I really like the control it affords our family.  I can take any movie we own and filter it myself.  enJoy Movies You Way is also working to build up a library of pre-programmed filters you can choose from, so over time this selection will grow.

We already watch a fair share of our movies via my laptop, so needing to use a computer with a DVD drive wasn’t an issue for us.  Thankfully, you can easily hook up your computer to a television using the proper cable if you’d rather watch your filtered movies on a larger screen.

The price is great too!  For only $3.00 a month, you have access to any filters enJoy creates as well as the ability to create your own, suggest movies to be filtered, and share filters with and by other users. (Get a 40% discount if you sign up for an annual subscription – that’s only $22 a year, folks!)

The biggest con is the time it takes on the front end to set filter marks for your DVDs.  Overall, the time required to filter our personal DVD library has been well worth it.

Why I’m a fan of enJoy Movies Your Way

Every family is different.  While military combat scenes are allowable in our home, you may not find them to be appropriate in yours.  Likewise, certain references or slang may not be something we like for our children to hear, while these same references are perfectly acceptable in your home.  enJoy Movies Your Way gives you, the parent, the freedom to choose for yourself what content is appropriate for your individual family.  Ty and I like having that freedom!

If you have more questions, feel free to reference the FAQs or contact enJoy Movies Your Way HERE.

I’m excited to be able to offer you the chance to win one of 5

FREE TWO MONTH MEMBERSHIPS to enJoy Movies Your Way!

All you have to do is enter the giveaway below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Taking the Time to Make a Home

Taking the Time to Make a Home | RaisingArrows.net

There are so many things I wish I had the time to do.  I have lists and lists of ideas I want to try, recipes I want to make, and posts I want to write.  I’ve made peace with the fact that many of these things will never get done, but I have to continually look at that list of undone things to make sure that what I’m leaving undone isn’t actually something necessary.

One necessary thing I see many moms leaving undone is making a home.

A home is more than just a house you live in with your family.  It actually has nothing to do with the structure, but rather it is the essence of your family and the little things within the structure that speak to who you are as a family.  It isn’t even the decor or the furniture or the food that makes the home; although, those things can definitely be a part of that essence of family.

What a home truly is goes much deeper and is often lost in the craziness of the day to day life of the family.  It is the connections between family members that make a home a real home.

Have you ever been around a family that seemed to only live together, but really didn’t do much more than that?  They sort of passed in the hall or coming in and out the door, never really connecting with each other.  Their house was void of relationships.

With our online life taking up more and more time, our home life has suffered immensely.  We are connected with people we graduated high school with, but lack connection to the very people who live under the same roof as us.  Sometimes I wonder if people online know more about us than our own families!  How’s that for being disconnected?!

It’s time.

It’s time to come back to our real world.  It’s time to put first things first and work on the relationships we have with the members of our household before we check out the status of our friendships online.

It’s time we took the time it takes to make a home by taking the time it takes to be a homemaker.  And the only way we can be a homemaker is by not only being home, but by building strong relationships with the people we are making the home for.

Sale on Practical Guide to Children’s Health!


HUGE SALE!
A Practical Guide to Children’s Health

On Sale
April 15 – 19

this post does contain affiliate links because I am a big fan of Kate and the ebooks she produces, so I like to promote them on my blog.  Any sales made through my links make me a small commission.  Thank you!

This is such a neat and needed resource!  Kate, the author and blogger at Modern Alternative Mama, gave me a copy for my own personal use and I am so excited to be able to share this resource with you!

She has such sage advice on children’s health from the perspective of a mom who desires to keep her kids as NATURALLY healthy as she can.  Chapters include everything from 10 Super Foods for Kids (AWESOME chapter, by the way!) to TV & Media Use.

This book is 152 pages of resources you will use every single day.  She discusses fevers and rashes, bug bites and bedwetting.  There are even kid-friendly recipes!

So, if this is a resource you would like to have in your home, this is the perfect time to buy it!

practical healthYou can buy the Digital Version for $9.95 (instead of $17.95)

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE PDF
or
CLICK HERE TO BUY THE KINDLE VERSION

You can buy the Print Version for $18.95 (instead of $24.95)

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE PRINT VERSION IN PAPERBACK

And take a moment to check out Kate’s website.  I think you will find a ton of great resources right there at your fingertips!

What Our Family is Currently Reading {which explains why it’s difficult to keep flat surfaces tidy in my home!}

At any given moment in our home, you are likely to find a pile of books somewhere just waiting for someone to read them.

With 6 readers in the house, and all of them (except my husband) sharing my inability to read one book at a time, you can imagine just how many books are “laying around” here.

I thought you might enjoy seeing what books we are reading, including read alouds…

Read Alouds

On the Banks of Plum Creek – for the younger crowd


The Screwtape Letters – for the older crowd

Resurrection Series on Answers in Genesis (we didn’t get this all read before Resurrection Sunday, but it’s a great read no matter what time of year it is.)

Mom
Case for Christ by Lee Strobel (I’ve watched the movie – which you can watch for FREE here, but I wanted to read the book too)
maiden's menuThe Maiden’s Menu – this is one of my favorite conference finds!  (Yes, I read I cookbooks.)  This was a cookbook compiled from recipes of readers of The King’s Blooming Rose magazine for young ladies.  The thing that impresses me most about this cookbook is the fact that it is full of healthy, yet doable recipes, most of which I’ve never seen before (now that is impressive!).

I’m also reading through several ebooks:

Circle time ebookCircle Time by Kendra Fletcher – This little gem is geared toward helping families create a “corporate” learning time where the entire family comes and does school together.

Sunday Savings Cookbook
Sunday Savings Cookbook – I’m really working toward making my Sunday meals streamlined and “brainless”, if you will.  This ebook is meant to help with that and I’ve already started implementing some of her suggestions.  (this ebook is also part of her ebook bundle found HERE)

readingTeaching Reading Using the Bible – this ebook is FREE and a fabulous resource!

Dad


The Art of Intelligence:  Lessons from a Life in the CIA’s Clandestine Service


Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham – This is Ty’s conference find.

15 year old son

The Second Mrs. Giaconda – school assignment
military heritage
Military Heritage Magazine – We got this subscription for him about a year and half ago.  He really enjoys it!

The Ultimate Guide to U.S. Army Survival Skills, Tactics, and Techniques
(You can also get this for FREE via the SurvivalGuide app!)

12 year old daughter
The King’s Blooming Rose Magazine – we picked up a couple of free copies at a homeschool convention.


Jesus Freaks – she has read this many, many times!

Start Here – this is the book after Do Hard Things.

8 year old daughter
Imagination Station

Imagination Station series – We picked these up from Vision Forum a couple of weeks ago, and she has been devouring them!

7 year old son
We are still working on getting him to read fluently, but he is really enjoying reading what he can from these two books:

Kit Carson:  Pathfinder of the West
iWitness

Resurrection iWitness from by Apologia

and anything about Knights he can get his hands on!

Ty was excited when I told him I was doing a post like this because he’d love to share more of what he’s reading periodically.  If that would be of interest to you, let me know and I’ll try to do something like this on a regular basis!

This post does contain affiliate links.  If you decide to buy one of these books and you use one of the above links, I will receive a small commission from that sale.  Thank you!