A Simple Survival Strategy for Homeschooling Moms of Many {guest post}

A Simple Strategy for Homeschooling Moms of Many | RaisingArrows.netBack when I was an overwhelmed young mother with a perpetual babe in arms and stair-step children by my side, an older woman shared some simple advice that really transformed my life.  In fact, I still live by her words of wisdom today!  Her timeless advice??

KISS — Keep It Simple Sister.

Before you quit reading in disappointment, your hopes for help dashed, let me explain how that simple nugget of wisdom transformed my life.  By applying that principle to every area of my life, I was able to keep not only my sanity, but my joy!

Let me share a few examples.

A Simple Beauty Routine

A homeschooling mother of a large family does not have time for a complicated beauty routine!  However, a wise woman continues to care about her appearance for the sake of her husband, her children, and her testimony out in the world.  For me, that meant washing my face in the shower, simplifying my make –up routine, and adopting an easier hairstyle than in my younger days.  Since I have fine, limp, flat hair, and have always adored curls and bounce, my favorite mommy hairstyle has been a soft perm that I can “scrunch” and let dry by itself.  (Oh what a blessing a flexi-clip would have been back in the days when I was so busy caring for babies and toddlers that I didn’t have time to fix my hair!)

While I know that denim skirts are the brunt of many homeschooling jokes, I’ve always found them to be the busy homeschooling mama’s ideal wardrobe item!  A denim skirt is versatile, durable, comfortable, requires no-fuss washing and drying, can be dressed up or down, and hides many a spot and smudge!

A Simple Menu

There is no need for a busy, homeschooling mom of many to wear herself out trying to create and prepare elaborate meals!  Frankly, most kids (and husbands) don’t like gourmet or fancy food!  On the other hand, convenience food is very tempting for the overwhelmed mom, but also highly processed, expensive and unhealthy.  Simple, home cooked meals are the best choice for the body and the budget!

Furthermore, our families really don’t need tons of variety.  I recommend planning 7 to 14 simple meals and just rotating them throughout the month.  These can be changed out with the seasons by implementing a spring/summer menu and a fall/winter menu.  If you like a bit more variety, start with a basic theme for each night of the week and then vary it throughout the month.  For example, one night might be “taco meat” night.  Once a month brown up enough “taco meat” for the month, divide it into four packages and freeze.  Each week on taco night, use your pre-prepared meat to make meals such as tacos, enchiladas, taco salad, taco soup, or Tex-Mex casserole.

Another helpful tip is to only plan one complicated dish per meal.  If the main dish takes a bit of time, plan very simple sides.  If your main dish is simple and straightforward, you could pair it with a more time-consuming side dish.  With today’s bagged salads, which can be spruced up with a few additions, having a salad with each meal is a simple task that even young children can handle on their own.

A Simple Chore System

I can’t tell you how many times I put together some elaborate chore system, only to have it be too complicated to keep up with from day to day!  Back in the day, when I was drowning in nursing babies, toddlers, and many young students, I learned that a simple system was best!  I found that elaborate chore charts that looked impressive on the refrigerator door and were supposed to make my life easier, quickly overwhelmed me!  I learned to dislike the rotating chore method, because I never could keep up with whose turn it was to clear the table, wash the dishes, or sweep the floors, and even if I could, my husband was always confused about whose turn it was to do what!  What worked best for me was to assign standing chore assignments before each school year and then reevaluate and revise the responsibilities in January for the second half of the school year.  I also learned that summer is a great time to change over responsibilities and allows more time for “on the job training.”

My two favorite strategies for dividing up the house work over the years have been assigning jurisdictions and teams.  By “Jurisdictions,” I mean that I gave different children the responsibility for an entire room or job.  Each child was responsible to clean his or her assigned jurisdiction once a week and to maintain it daily.  This was simple to oversee and maintain, and taught the children to look at the whole job instead of just parts and to take pride in keeping their jurisdictions clean and neat.

Another helpful strategy was to pair an older and a younger child in a team for certain jobs.  At one time, we had three teams in place that were responsible for one of the following jobs after each meal:  cleaning the kitchen, picking up toys and straightening the family room, or changing over the washer and dryer and folding laundry.

A Simple Schedule

While there was a time when I lived by a detailed, color-coded daily schedule where the children changed activities every thirty minutes, I eventually decided that following a simple routine was less stressful and more realistic than being a slave to a detailed schedule.  With the schedule, if one thing changed – such as baby’s naptime – it threw off the entire schedule and I had to make a new one!  Also, I ended up feeling stressed and rushed as I went through each day as a taskmaster “cracking the whip” trying to keep everyone on schedule.

Back in the 1990’s when I was having most of my babies, I felt tremendous pressure to follow a popular infant feeding approach, where the mother  scheduled and controlled the baby’s feeding times, sleeping times, play times, etc. throughout the day and forced baby to sleep through the night from an early age.  It was promoted strongly in my homeschooling circles as the only way to have a godly home, since the alternative would create a child-centered home.  Finally I gave into the pressure and gave this approach a try. The result?  It depleted not only my milk supply, but my confidence as a mother and my joy!  In addition, I discovered that instead of avoiding a child-centered home, I created one!  It seemed the whole day had to revolve around baby’s schedule and whether baby was supposed to be playing or sleeping or eating!  We couldn’t just enjoy the baby – we had to check the book for what baby should be doing next.  If baby fell asleep at the breast, we even had to wake the baby!  Ridiculous!  The best thing I ever did was throw that book in the trash, tuck baby into our daily schedule, and get back to mothering from the heart!

A Simple School Day

Homeschooling mothers often try to cover their insecurities by adding an abundance of electives, field trips, and activities to their days.  Whenever I tried to “do it all,” I was soon spread too thin to be any good to anyone. I quickly became exhausted, stressed, irritable and emotional.  Since Mom sets the atmosphere of the home, and a joyful, contented mother is the most important element of a successful homeschool, I soon found that sticking to the basics and keeping outside activities to a minimum was the simple road to success.

So, if you are overwhelmed, burned out, and struggling as a homeschooling mother, may I suggest that you just “Keep it Simple Sister?!” This prescription may be a hard pill to swallow if you are a performance driven, perfectionistic, Pinterest-loving Mom!!  However, in my experience, when we try to make things too elaborate, complicated, and impressive, we often end up with feelings of failure, frustration, guilt, and hopelessness.  Keeping it simple is the easiest path to success!

ElizabethElizabeth, who blogs at Yes They’re All Ours, is the busy mom of 10 children — 6 sons and 4 daughters, who range in age from 8 to 27!  She has been homeschooling since 1990, and continues to teach her five youngest children at home, while attempting to keep up with the adventures of her five adult children (some of whom still live at home).  She has been happily married since 1983, and lives with her husband and children on the Georgia coast, where she enjoys creating an inviting home for her family, cooking great southern food (and blogging about it), homeschooling (when not spending the day at the beach), and learning to embrace being an older woman, while encouraging the younger women in her life according to the spirit of Titus 2.  She invites you to connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or email her at Elizabeth@yestheyareallours.com

Letting Go of Our Children {guest post}

Letting Go of Our Children | RaisingArrows.net

When I snapped this picture the morning Ryan left home for college, all I could see was a blur. I was looking through a cloud of tears. I kept them at bay though until he pulled out of the driveway.

Keeping my hands and mind busy helped.   There were meals to cook, children to teach, and loads of laundry to wash.  I was feeling thankful for the full day ahead of me.  I plunged into it with determination to not let my mind dwell on what was missing.

All was going well.  Breakfast had been served and cleaned up in record time.  It was one of those rare school days where we finished everything in my lesson plans.  Now it was time to fold some laundry and get supper cooking.  Then it happened.  It was right there in my hand, reminding me of what was gone.  A simple pair of plaid boxers triggered the tears now cascading down my face.

I’m not sure how they ended up in the wash that day.  It had been two weeks since he left home.  Yet there they were.  They belonged to him.  I swiped the tears away, as I ran my hands over the soft worn fabric.  From diapers to men’s boxers had happened so quickly.

This year our oldest son, Ryan, left home to attend college.  I’ve decided when babies are born, they should come with warning labels that read:

“Will be painful when they leave home.  Love at your own risk.”

Of course, a warning label wouldn’t have changed anything.  I simply didn’t realize how hard it would be.

I have raised our children knowing they are God’s and only stay in our nest for a season.  Yet when it was time to let our first one fly, my heart was sad.  I wasn’t sad for him.  The tears were for me.  My role in life was changing, and it is a role that I have loved and embraced.

From the time I was a girl in pig-tails I had dreamed of having babies and loving them.  I would tuck my dollies under my shirt and nurse them.  I rocked them and cooked them dinner.  We had school, and they would sit in their little plastic chairs hanging on my every word.  In all that pretending though, they never left home.

I’m realizing I’ve lived that dream and have lived it to the fullest.  God has been good.  Now it is time to embrace the future and my new role that is developing.  There are a few things I’ve found to do that have helped with the transition.

Pray for him every day.  With Ryan being away from home, the reality that God is truly the one who watches and cares for our children hit home.  I felt helpless to do much, but found it was alright.  God is much more powerful and able to care for him then I am.  So I pray first thing each morning, and I continue praying throughout the day each time I think of him.

Encourage him.  I text my son a couple times a week to tell him I love him.   At times I let him know what I prayed for him that day.   Sometimes I send a Bible verse.  Other ways I’ve found to encourage include e-mails, letters, and care packages.  Our children need encouragement at every age.

Listen to him.  As I prepared to write this post, I asked Ryan what I do for him that means the most.  He answered, “You talk with me.”  Generally, I don’t do a lot of the talking though.  He’s the one talking.  I’m listening and commenting.  Ryan is encountering new ideas, friends, and circumstances.  He needs someone to listen as he processes the world out there.

Boxers that appear in the laundry no longer prompt tears.  Time is moving on.  I’m finding new blessings in life.  There is nothing to compare to the joy of anticipating his homecomings.  It is fun planning his favorite foods and activities.  Most of all though wrapping my arms around that big boy of mine when he walks in the door and breathing in the scent of him knowing I have a few days to treasure every moment is a glorious gift.

Natasha bio photoNatasha is a pastor’s wife and the homeschooling mother of seven children.  You can read more from Natasha on her blog: Mother of Seven.

How To Help NICU Families {guest post}

How do you help a friend who unexpectedly finds themselves in a world most will never know? A place that houses hundreds of newborns every year arriving just hours after birth, spending days, weeks, and months inside. Sometimes they never make it out. The fortunate ones that do may have lifelong problems, frequent visits back and forth to doctors, or a shortened childhood. The double fortunate ones are cured and lead healthy lives. Then there are the children who have been leading normal lives and suddenly their world is turned upside-down by a shocking diagnosis.

The assortment of children and their diseases are endless in a NICU.

A couple of years ago, my life was turned upside-down when my newborn son was admitted to Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago with multiple heart defects. We spent nine weeks in the NICU, undergoing three open heart surgeries and dealing with several life threatening issues. It was a frightening place with dying kids, hopeless situations, questions that had no answers, days that had no routines, a constant influx of new people, new rooms, new neighbors, and new doctors. Curveballs were thrown left and right. I’d fight them off once in a while but often they would knock me to the ground
again. It was chaos and even the most polished social skills could not prepare me for dealing with this world. I felt I had jumped onto a speeding train and all I could really do that came naturally was to keep breathing.

But in the end so much good came out of that dark place. A live baby, new friendships, opportunities to share my faith and God’s goodness! I also experienced invaluable help from family, friends, and strangers who reached out to us and I will never forget their selfless servant hearts.

Pray in solitude at home. Pray with your family. Pray with your small group. Place the patient and family on a prayer list at your church and other churches. Leave a prayer voicemail for your friend. Send them an email prayer. Quote Scripture. Let them know you and others are praying. If you get them live, pray with them and do all the praying. They are exhausted.

Be a sounding board. Don’t talk about yourself, your problems. If you have gone through something similar it’s ok to share but be brief and positive. Don’t tell them you understand or you know how they feel because you don’t. Instead you can say that this must be very hard, how can you help and give a few concrete examples of help so they don’t have to think.

Set up a meal plan for the family. Make an Evite invitation or email meal chain like mealbaby.com. Make it easy. Place cooler on deck where people can place food. Bring food to the hospital cafeteria if food is not allowed in hospital room.

Provide child care at hospital (so children are close to parents), in own home or family’s home.

Carpooling for children or adults. Take children to birthday parties, paly dates, and events to keep normalcy for children.

Offer home management help like snow shoveling, mowing lawn, raking leaves, oil change, house cleaning, dry cleaning etc.

Be a mediator between patient’s family and their extended family and Friends to ease the burden of communication and updates on patient. Use caringbridge.org or carepages.com, phone calls, or email.

Send cards, flowers, gift cards, stuffed animals, books, toys etc. to family’s home to brighten up their day (flowers not allowed in ICU).

Please be mindful of hospital environments, don’t just show up at the hospital or ask to visit unless offered. There are lots of germs floating around. It is a very difficult environment where babies, children, and adults die. The days are filled with lots of stimulation to begin with so extra people may just add to burden. ICU does not allow visitors unless special circumstances.

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Veronica Janus is the author of Abundantly More, a medical and spiritual journey offering hope and healing. It also gives practical knowledge on how to navigate life in a pediatric ICU. The author lives in Chicago with her husband and three children. To find out more, please visit www.veronicajanus.com

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Helping Friends Through Difficult Circumstances

walkingafriendthroughthefire

My friend Kim at Not Consumed is hosting a series aimed at helping you be a friend to those who are hurting from life’s trials. Today, I am sharing how you can help your friend through the grief of losing a child.

I hope you will visit Kim’s blog and read all the posts in this series because the Lord has called us to comfort and share the burdens of others.

walkingafriendthroughthefire

What To Do With Unfinished Curriculum {guest post}

{Note from Amy:  Today’s guest poster is Kim from Not Consumed (talk about awesome blog name!)  This is a great, practical post on what to do if you didn’t finish your curriculum this year.  Enjoy!}

Have you ever gotten to the end of a “school year” and found that you haven’t finished the book? The older my kids get, the more common this becomes. The year comes to an end and the curriculum falls short of completion.

So what do you do with curriculum that simply doesn’t get finished? Depending on the subject and your purpose, there are a few different options.

Finish it

The beauty of homeschooling is that we don’t have set start and end dates for our year. So what if your 1st grader is still working on that math book a few weeks into 2nd grade? We have the freedom to be flexible and should use it to our advantage.

Do every other lesson

If you simply can’t bear the thought of not finishing something, try completing every other lesson until the book is complete. This will not provide complete mastery of the final topics, but it should give a decent survey.

Put it in a fun box for the summer

If you don’t school year round, you could put the curriculum in a summer fun box for the summer. For example, we studied the human body this year, but still had some topics that I didn’t get to. So, I placed some books, project instructions, and a model of the body in a box. My children LOVE being able to “play” with the summer fun box. And I love that it helps to fill in some of the topics that I missed.

Declare a theme day once a week

Another thing we do during the summer is to declare each day of the week with a theme. I am notoriously bad about finishing art, so we have art day every Tuesday. I pull out the book and try to do as many lessons as we can on that day.

Tear it up

If the unfinished item is a workbook, I love to tear out the final pages and then throw them into the car for unexpected doctor’s trips. Or you could throw them into workboxes sporadically throughout the next school year. They will likely serve as great review.

Forget it

Not that we are trying to emulate the school system, but they RARELY finish the textbook. There is a good chance that it won’t be the end of the world if you don’t either. Don’t let someone else’s idea of complete define your child’s education. If you feel like you have covered the topic well enough…so be it. I did this with math this year. My second grader was simply bored with the repetitiveness at the end of the curriculum. Rather than have her finish it out just to have every lesson complete, I simply ended it. The 3rd grade curriculum will begin with a review again anyway!

The bottom line—>don’t let the curriculum or workbook run your life. Take advantage of the control and freedom that you have and make the decision that works well for your family!

What do you do with that unfinished curriculum? We’d love to hear your ideas.


KimKim is just a girl, crazy about Jesus. She’s an avid homeschooling mom of 4 sweet blessings. Kim’s heart longs to encourage and equip women to walk victoriously through the fire. She offers practical parenting tips, homeschool secrets, and comfort for the soul at Not Consumed.

Omelets From Your Oven {guest post}

Whether you need to feed a crowd on a limited budget, want an easy recipe with stunning results, or just need a way to keep the picky eaters happy, I have the perfect solution for you.

In our home, we eat a lot of breakfast for dinner because I have four picky eaters, but breakfast food just happens to be the one thing on which everyone can agree. There is only one problem. My husband and I like our eggs loaded with vegetables and the children… “Just cheese, please.”

Making six different omelets is NOT an option. I do not want to be in the kitchen all night like a short-order cook and I detest doing mounds of dirty dishes. So, I devised a way to make our omelets in the oven.

When I prepare the portion my husband and I will be eating, I can layer all types of goodies. On the side for the kids, I can leave it plain. Everyone is happy. The kitchen is easy to clean. Mommy gets to put her feet up… in my dreams.

Ingredients

6 large eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 bell pepper, seeded and diced

1/2 onion, diced

1 cup ham, diced

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Additional cheese, salsa, cilantro (optional)

This recipe can be doubled easily. See below.

How To Make an Omelet Roll

1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Mix the eggs, milk, flour, salt, and pepper until smooth. I prefer using an immersion blender (because I am lazy like that) but a regular blender or mixer will work too… just requires a little more clean up.

2. Line a 9×13 rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper and spray the paper with non-stick cooking spray. Pour the batter on top of the parchment paper. Gently place the baking sheet in the oven.

3. While the omelet cooks, dice the onion, bell pepper, and ham. Pour olive oil into a hot skillet over medium high heat. Add the ham and vegetables, sauteing until the onion and bell pepper are tender.

4. After 20 to 25 minutes, the omelet will be puffed and browned very slightly on top. Remove it from the oven and allow the puff to deflate.

5. Sprinkle the omelet evenly with the ham and vegetable mixture, leaving about 2 inches on one side. Top the entire omelet with shredded cheddar cheese, sprinkling all the way to the edge.

6. Using the parchment paper, roll the omelet gently together. If you wish to serve the omelet roll on a pretty platter, slide the parchment onto the platter before you completely roll the omelet off the paper.

For your picky eaters: If not everyone likes ham, bell pepper, and/or onion, leave a section free and avoid an argument.

The easiest way to slice the omelet roll is with a serrated knife, like a bread knife. Saw gently as if you were slicing bread.

Top with additional cheese, salsa, or cilantro if desired.

ENJOY!

Yield: 6 servings

To double: Double all ingredients and prepare on a larger baking sheet. Roll length-wise.

Tabitha Philen, known as “Penny” to her readers at www.MeetPenny.com, is a saved by grace wife to one terrific husband and homeschooling mother to 4 amazing children, ages 8 years old and under with the oldest having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Tabitha recently released her first ebook, Advanced Penny Pinching, in which she shares very practical tips for cutting your grocery expenses with or without coupons.