Slow Summer Mothering {Welcome Home Link Up}

I must admit, Summer is not my favorite season.  I don’t know if I became this way due to marrying a man who would rather vacation in Alaska in February than head to the beach any time of year or if pregnancy in the summertime pretty much ruined my taste for the heat.  No matter the reason, from the moment the temps head over 90, our family is ready to lay around the house drinking lemonade and panting like dogs while we dream of vacationing in the mountains.

Unlike many American families, summer around here is a time when we slow down.  Sure, we have our fair share of Boy Scout Camps and horse riding lessons and such, but we do not run a break-neck pace through the summer.  We sort of simmer through summer.  Slow-cook, if you will.

Here are a few more facts about my slow summer style…

*I like to get up earlier in the summer – Back when Ty was deployed, I would get up early on those summer mornings and read my Bible and watch the sun come up on my front porch before my two little ones would rise for the day.  Those are precious memories for me.  Since early morning is the only time of day that is not hot in the summer months (for the most part), I like to drink it in!

*I keep my little ones out of the sun – We typically do not head outside for the day until after 5pm.  We do occasionally go out in the morning (especially to do school), but for the most part, we stay out of the direct sunlight.  I have fair-haired, fair-skinned babies, so no sun-bathing here.

*Meals become what I like to call Amish Lunch.  In my early married years, I read a syndicated newspaper column called The Amish Cook.  She would write about what they had for meals and I was struck by how often lunch would consist of assorted garden produce (some pickled, some not), cheese, bread, jams and butter.  In the summer months I adopt this Amish Lunch with our own flair!  We’ll often be found snacking on cheese and crackers, carrot sticks and pickles.  We’ll eat tortillas rolled up with whatever I can find in the refrigerator or crackers and dip.  Cold, practical and so-not-fancy!

*We school year round. It just makes sense for our family since our major vacation of the year is not in the summer months (off-season is a beautiful thing for a large family!) and I never know when the next baby might be joining our family or we might need to loan a big kid out to a grandparent.

*Running through the sprinklers beat public swimming pools any day.  Public swimming pools and beaches can be a nightmare for a large family with more littles than bigs.  (Not to mention the rather scantily-clad young ladies you see there), so we prefer to stick close to home and play in the sprinklers.  We also have a hot tub at our new house that has the ability to be a “cool” tub in the summer, so we turn it down and use it as a pool of sorts.

*I like my skirts and sandals in the summer.  There is just something lovely about a long-flowing skirt and a cute pair of sandals in the summertime. I feel as if I’ve stepped out of a painting of ladies walking in a flower garden in England.

If you are looking for more skirt ideas, check out the She Wears Skirts series I did with Caroline from The Modest Mom and also see her store for lovely summer skirts like this Ruffled Skirt.  You get 10% off your entire order when you use the code

raisingarrows


*I’m slow-paced by nature.  I am naturally a Mary, not a Martha.  I’m pretty laid back and would rather have a long conversation than clean a kitchen any day.  Since I know this about myself, I have learned to clean first so I can be a Mary without detriment to my home all summer long.

So, what kind of Summer Mother are you?  Slow-paced or super-busy?  I’d love to hear about what makes your summer tick!


Caring for Yourself {The Me Time Myth Revisited}


Welcome back to 10 Days of Large Family Homeschooling
Start at the Beginning of the Series

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Romans 12:1

Years ago, when I wrote The Me Time Myth, I never expected the backlash I received.  I felt the ones who gave me a good tongue-lashing (even going so far as to suggest my children will hate me one day) truly did not hear my heart in the matter.  I felt terribly misunderstood, but chose to avoid strife and stand quietly by my message.  So, bringing up this topic again is something I do with trepidation and trembling before the Lord.

As I see it, most homeschooling moms of many fall into 3 camps when it comes to the all-encompassing term “Me Time”.  They either live for it, piously deny themselves of it, or feel guilty if they get it.  Very few seem to have a healthy view of this hotly debated issue.

Today, I hope to shed some light on my original intentions with The Me Time Myth as well what I see from Scripture as the way we should approach this topic.

Me Time shouldn’t be the air we breathe.

I once overheard a woman tell her friends she could not live without her daily excursions to the gym where she could be without children and in her own space with her own thoughts.  Suggesting you cannot live without Me Time is absurd and altogether frightening.

As mothers, we are called to love our husband and love our children. (Titus 2:4)  Some suggest you cannot truly love these people if you are not first loving yourself.  They talk of filling yourself first so you can fill others.  But nowhere do I see that precedent in the Bible.  In fact, I see the opposite.  I see Scriptures about giving of yourself and caring for others ahead of your own needs.

Me Time should never be our life line.  It should never be something we live for or try to get more of.  It isn’t commanded by Scripture and should not be taught as such.

Me Time martyrs

However, there are those who staunchly proclaim their superiority because they have NEVER done anything that even remotely resembles Me Time.  They decry anyone who goes to women’s retreats or on vacations sans children.  They rail against everything from bubble baths to curling irons to Starbucks coffee.

It’s not the denying yourself I have a hard time stomaching.  It’s the pride.  (Galatians 6:4)  If you have to tell everyone how noble you are, are you really noble?

The Guilty Moms Club

My heart goes out to these moms. They are trying to do the right thing. They truly love their families, but they are weary and need encouragement and strength to keep going. At the very heart of the matter, they love homeschooling, they love being around their children, but they have off-days, off-weeks, and yes, sometimes even off-years. They long for a better life. They long for a peaceful home surrounded by happy faces and cheerful hearts, but they just cannot seem to make it work.

So, they hide.

They escape into Me Time every chance they get.  But they know it doesn’t satisfy and they feel guilty…oh so guilty.

A healthy view of me

The Christian mother has an opportunity to die to self daily as she learns to love her husband and children.  The Christian homeschooling mother of many often finds this opportunity amplified.  She may even feel as though she is forced to die to self because of all the needs that cry out for her every moment.

The answer to her struggle for more time, more energy, more joy is not to have less children or to stop homeschooling or to immerse herself in Me Time.

The answer is worship.

Romans 12:1 – the verse at the top of this post – sums up why Me Time is a myth.  The sacrifices I make should never be about me.  The time I spend away from my family should never be about me.  The causes I support, the blog posts I write, the friendships I make should never be about me.  They should always be about Him.

I can carve out time away from my children for a coffee with my husband because I am there to rejoice in a marriage that daily shows the goodness of the Lord.  I can spend a weekend at a conference with friends because I’m there to proclaim the glory and honor of Jesus Christ.  I can even take a bubble bath with candles and soft music because I am there to pray.

In the Subscriber Pack is a daily checklist I call Mom’s Sacrifice List.  It is a list of things you can do to take care of yourself so that you are presenting to God a sacrifice that isn’t merely hanging on by a thread, but rather is a LIVING sacrifice.

Moms, I want you to know it is okay to take care of yourself.  It is okay to stay at home and it is okay to go out.  It is okay to exercise and okay to take a break.  The thing you must always keep at the forefront of whatever it is you do is that this is NOT about YOU.

This is worship.

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Feeding the Crew

Keian and cantelopeWelcome back to 10 Days of Large Family Homeschooling
Start at the Beginning of the Series

One thing I have found to be challenging as a large family homeschool mom is feeding 3 meals a day plus snacks day in and day out to a rather large and diverse group of people.  At any given time, I have teenagers, toddlers, and babies – all with different palates and needs.

Many of you already know breakfast is not my forte.  I like to eat it, I hate to cook it.  I’ve never been real awake in the mornings.  I can remember as a youngster never feeling as if I had fully awakened until about 10:30 am.  I always wondered why teachers thought math needed to be taught first thing in the morning when I was so very tired.  I am most on top of my game starting late morning and again at about 4:00 pm.  I try to have things on hand that can easily become breakfast, but rare is the occasion that I actually cook a hot breakfast.

*GASP*  Now, you know my secret!

So, now that you know, here’s a list of breakfast ideas – Roberts family style!

  • cereal
  • fruit
  • toast with peanut butter
  • hard boiled eggs
  • muffins
  • breakfast cookies
  • yogurt
  • baked oatmeal
  • pancakes with real maple syrup
  • fried eggs

Next is lunch.  By this point, we have been going strong with school and I almost hate to stop for nourishment!  Lunch happens here between 12 and 1 pm – or whenever there is a natural lull in our school day.  Occasionally, Daddy joins us, but most often, it is me and the 6 children.  We typically have a light lunch rather than something heavy for two reasons:

  1. Our big meal is at night.
  2. It is better and simpler to make something that takes less preparation when in the middle of a school day.

Here are some of our favorite lunch ideas:

After we’ve cleaned up from lunch, we head back into our school day.  If I were pregnant, this would be Rest Time, but as it stands right now, only the 18 month old is taking a nap right after lunch.

Our school day is usually finished around 2:30, but this is not a good time to go outside since our road becomes quite busy at that time of day due to the high school down the road.  So, at about 3:00 pm we have a snack and then head outside.

Snack ideas:

  • cheese & crackers
  • fruit
  • foldover peanut butter sandwich
  • veggie sticks
  • smoothies
  • cookies – yes, cookies ;)

After we have played outside for a while, I head inside (usually with a helper) to prepare for supper/dinner.

Mommy cooking with Garin in Mei Tai

We eat supper between 6 and 7 pm due to Daddy’s schedule.  This is typically our biggest meal of the day since Daddy is home.  This is also the meal I am most creative with.  I like to go through cookbooks and my index box full of recipes I’ve been collecting for over half my life and pull interesting recipes I would like to try or family favorites.

Some recent meals have been:

Now, we all know you can’t feed your crew without either buying or growing your own food (or a mix of both), so here are a few of my favorite shopping posts:

Once a Month Shopping Series (how we shop once a month and save!)

One Store Shopping Method

The Subscriber Pack contains a One Store Shopping Planner and the Bulk Grocery List from our OAMS trips!  To get yours, subscribe to Raising Arrows here:

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Sometimes School Doesn’t Look Like School {Don’t miss the giveaway!}

Welcome back to 10 Days of Large Family Homeschooling
Start at the Beginning of the Series

Click here to enter the Moore Family Films Giveaway!

If you have been a reader of Raising Arrows for very long, you know how our family tends to put outside-the-box homeschooling far in front of traditional schooling methods.  We choose to make the extracurricular intra-curricular and we are typically rather creative with our schooling.

This kind of methodology stems from our theology.  We believe a child’s education is not meant to make them rich so they can retire happy.  We believe true wisdom comes from knowing the Lord and all aspects of a child’s education must be subject to the Lord’s leading.

At the Midwest Parent Educator’s Homeschool Conference in Kansas City this past weekend, my husband and I had the express pleasure of spending time with convention speaker, Israel Wayne.  My husband interviewed Israel on his stance on homeschooling and I want to share with you this vision in the video below (if you cannot view this video, please click here.)

In the near future, I will be doing posts on what an education based on this understanding of Scripture looks like, but for now, I want to offer you some quick out-of-the-box ideas for what school looks like when it doesn’t look like school

Working alongside Mom & Dad

So much can be learned by working WITH someone on a project or even in everyday duties.  Our children will all run households of their own someday and will need to know what it means to live life as a man or woman who seeks after Christ in all they do.

This requires patience on the parent’s part because children are not always going to live up to your dreams and expectations, but what God calls you to, He will equip you for and you can LEARN patience.  So, take the time to mentor your own children because all the book-learning in the world cannot take the place of a truly interested and loving parent walking alongside their child.

Keian making coffee

Real Life Learning

Kevin Swanson of Generations with Vision made some really great points this weekend about taking knowledge and “plugging it in to something.”  He said we often approach education as the be all end all sort of like learning to ride a bike by taking Bike for 12 years and never getting on one.  Our children need to know WHY they are learning what they are learning and how it fits with the ultimate goal of knowing, loving, and serving God and loving and serving others (again, a hearty thank you to Israel Wayne for bringing this Truth to our family!).

Blake digging

Entrepreneurships

In the spirit of plugging a child’s knowledge into a real life scenario, entrepreneurships are a lost method that must be brought back!  Our children need real life application in a career field before they commit to years of study and work for that field.  I’m not an advocate of wasting time and money, so I would much rather waste a little bit of time and money giving my children opportunities to make informed decisions.  A quick note here:  do not for a moment think a college counselor or someone at a career fair is a good representative of what a career field is truly like.  They are there to tell you what you want to hear.  You need to meet real people doing the real job and find ways to get your children working with them in real situations if possible.  Many young people see glamour in a job and totally miss the truth.

Field Trips & Vacations

I grew up going on vacations that were edu-cations so this has been something that has come naturally.  Even when Ty and I go places without the children, we tend to visit museums and other historical and informative sites.

When you have a large family, it is often much nicer and easier to go on field trips without a huge group of people along, so years ago, I quit going on organized field trips with homeschool support groups because it just seemed like utter chaos.  I’d rather take my time with my own children, guiding them through the field trip and not have to compete with their friends and a lot of extra noise.  I am sure they learn much more when we do this as a family.

Meg riding

Delight-Directed Extras

I have been a HUGE fan of delight-directed homeschooling ever since I read Gregg Harris’ book The Christian Homeschool.

Think about how you learn as an adult.  Aren’t you more apt to study and research and grow and learn when wanting to know more about a subject that truly interests you?  Your children are the same way!  And since God has wired each and every one of them differently, it is so very important we study our children and learn who they are and what makes them tick.  This is one of the beauties of the homeschooling environment!  Don’t squander it trying to fit into the box.

Multimedia

This is the section where I tell you not all media is bad.  In fact, it can be an awesome learning tool, especially for children who are visual learners.  My children have learned so much about Ancient Egypt and the Crusades and even how to make maple syrup from multimedia sources.  We listen to CDs, watch DVDs, and use computer software like World Book on CD-ROM on a daily basis.  The technological age does not have to be something that warps our young people’s minds.  It can be harnessed and used for good if we are always diligent to keep it in check.

That is exactly why our family has chosen to invest money in family films that give our children more than just entertainment.  And this is the reason I am pleased to offer my readers an opportunity to win a family film from Moore Family Films!

Please click here to enter to win!

And thank you for thinking outside the box!
{to discover if you are thinking inside or outside the box, click here!}

The 10 Days Series is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects. Visit us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Click the image below to visit all the 10 Days posts!

Moore Family Films Review and Giveaway!

Recently, we made the decision to watch more films that encourage our family to action and discussion.  So many people mindlessly watch movies, but we wanted more than that.  We wanted to bring wholesome God-honoring films into our children’s lives that did more than entertain.

An answer to that prayer came from the Moore Family Films!

When our 3 Pack of DVD’s arrived, we were so excited.  We let the children choose what they wanted to watch first and the cute little guy on the front of the More Than Maple Syrup won their hearts.

“I felt after watching the movie that WE could go out and tap a maple tree and have maple syrup.”
~Ty (my husband)

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“Can we have pancakes with real maple syrup in the morning for breakfast, Mom?!”
The Roberts children

More Than Maple Syrup is such a wonderful film.  We have watched it over and over!  We love how the entire Moore family has a part in making the syrup and the humor and fun they have throughout the film is refreshing.

I sat down with my oldest daughter for a Mother/Daughter night to watch It’s Your Life: The Moss Family.  We really enjoyed the film and I found myself thinking how much mom’s facing repeat c-sections needed to see this film!

The final film in the set is Children are a Blessing.  I sat and watched this film for the first time by myself.  I wept as I felt renewed in my calling as a mother.  I wanted to wake all my children up and kiss each and every one of them and tell them right then and there how precious they are to me.  Edee Moore looked absolutely radiant as she spoke of the difficulties of pregnancy, but the rewards and blessings that come from allowing the Lord control of the womb.  (By the way, Edee gave birth to baby #11 a little over a week ago!  Congratulations!)  The Bonus Features on this film are a must-see as well – I loved the interview with Shane & Edee – so real and open and honest!

**ATTENTION**  The Moore Family is offering free online viewing of Children are a Blessing through the month of April as well as a sale price of $10, so you can stock up and hand this out to others who might need to hear this important message!  Click here to watch!

The Moore Family is graciously giving away 1 DVD each to 3 different winners here on Raising Arrows!  Use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter to win!  (Email readers, please click over to the giveaway here.)

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The One Room Schoolhouse Model {and Welcome Home Link Up}

old school

Welcome back to 10 Days of Large Family Homeschooling
Start at the Beginning of the Series

I am fascinated by old schoolhouses.  Perhaps it is because I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie or because my own father was schooled in a one-room schoolhouse in rural Kansas.  Whenever we pass by one of these dilapidated old buildings, I stare and wonder at who might have gone to school there so many years ago, trudging through thick snow in black boots and prairie dresses, lunch pail in hand.

I now have my own one-room schoolhouse of sorts.  No, we don’t trudge through snow to get here or wear prairie dresses (except when we are pretending) or eat our lunch from pails (except when we are pretending), but I do teach in a way that is rather reminiscent of days gone by.

Why a One Room Schoolhouse?

Some of you may be scratching your heads wondering why I feel so strongly about this, especially considering the one room schoolhouses were NOT homeschools.  While I do believe taking education out of the parent’s hands and making it the government’s responsibility was not a good move, I do believe many of the one room schoolhouses based their design on what was already happening in many homes of the day.

In fact, homeschooling used to be the norm in which most children learned alongside their siblings whatever it was their parents deemed necessary for them to “make it” in this world.  I believe it is imperative we find our roots in this way of educating.

In the Subscriber Pack (free for the taking if you sign up for email updates from Raising Arrows – see blue box below this post or my sidebar to sign up!), I’ve included 12 Ideas for Creating a One-Room Schoolhouse.  I won’t be going through all those ideas here, but rather choosing a few I feel are the most integral to the task of turning your homeschool into a one room schoolhouse.  As I go through these ideas, I believe you will begin to see why I like this model of education.

1.  Start with the Bible.

Before every bit of Christianity was removed from the public school system, the Bible was the book by which all things were judged and measured.  While I do not believe the one room schoolhouses executed this in a manner befitting of Deuteronomy 6 where the Israelites were exhorted to teach the Lord’s ways to their children day and night and everywhere in between, I do believe the rural schools, like where my father attended, did acknowledge God as the ultimate authority.  My homeschool must reflect this as well.

2.  Work from youngest to oldest.

This is one of those classic one room schoolhouse paradigms.  The younger children, whose attention spans were considerably shorter, had the teacher’s focus at the beginning of class.  It wasn’t until about a year ago, I began to follow this model.  I had always set my school up with the intent that I would school the littles in the afternoon after all the bigs had finished their work.  However, more often than not, I never got around to schooling the littles.  Once I started making them the first thing on my list for the day, it was amazing how much we accomplished!

3.  The trickle-down effect.

One room schoolhouses were conducive to exposing younger children to what they would be learning in upcoming years.  By the time they were being taught in the upper levels, they had more than likely heard all the material several times.

The way we capture this in our homeschool is through something I call the trickle-down effect.  I encourage the younger children to stay in the room and play quietly while I read to or have discussions with the older children.  While they may not catch everything that is being said, I am always surprised by how attentive they are and how much they do manage to absorb.  (If you are looking for ways to engage your children in meaningful and educational conversation, read this!)

We also have our older children give verbal reports and plan activities for the littles based on what they are learning in school.  Typically, our younger children end up joining in with their own impromptu reports, repeating what their older siblings just said.  I couldn’t ask for a better teaching opportunity!

4.  Plan school around the needs of the family.

Back in the one room schoolhouse days, the family was still in charge.  School was secondary.  If there was work on the farm, school could wait.  If it was time for harvest, school let out.

We are not a homeschooling family…we are a family who homeschools.  If we are constantly trying to make our lives fit into the confines of a traditional school day, we will quite possibly miss out on some awesome opportunities that have value far beyond what a textbook can teach.  Don’t let school rule your family or ruin your family.

{You might also be interested in my post – Does That Count As School?}

5.  Seek mastery.

Years ago, the standard of the one room schoolhouse was the standard held by parents at home.  That standard was mastery.  Somewhere along the way, we lost the drive to master a subject and became complacent and willing to substitute “good enough” for “well done.”

I have high expectations for my children.  I am not wanting to make round pegs fit in square holes, nor frustrate my children, but I do expect them to do everything “as unto the Lord.”

We don’t go by grade levels, we don’t push through textbooks so we can get to the other side, and we don’t consider a C to be average.

As I look through this list, perhaps it isn’t the one room schoolhouse model I am truly after,  but rather he Deuteronomy 6 schoolhouse I am after.  For one room schoolhouses, despite my imaginations, were not perfect; however, Scripture always is.  And maybe, just maybe, what the one room schoolhouse tried to do had already been done.

So, while I look to the one room schoolhouse as a model, it is not because I believe it was the epitome of proper education.  It is simply because I believe the one room schoolhouse of yesteryear in rural Kansas can teach this public-schooled mama trying-to-make-her-way-as-a-homeschooler a thing or two.

Looking for more on homeschooling a large family, check out these tips!

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Homeschooling with PurposeThe 10 Days Series is organized by iHomeschool Network, a collaboration of outstanding homeschool bloggers who connect with each other and with family-friendly companies in mutually beneficial projects. Visit us on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Click the image below to visit all the 10 Days posts!

schoolhouse photo credit