January 25, 2012

That Mom in the Headlights Look

headlights Dear Moms,

Do you feel like you have been spending a fair share of your time staring into oncoming traffic? Do you feel a little blindsided? A little befuddled?

Do you wish you could get off the road, but you can’t find the exit?

I wish I could tell you the way to get off this road you are on, but sometimes it’s not your turn to exit. Sometimes you have to stare down the headlights, face the oncoming traffic, and yes, even get run over.

Not because God doesn’t love you, but because often crisis draws you closer to the only One Who can pick you back up, dust you off, and send you on your way.

So, stop looking for exits and start looking up. Stop focusing on the headlights and start focusing on His light. You may get run over, but He will not leave you there to suffer endlessly.

Trust. Believe. Stand.

Love,
a mom who knows this road

January 17, 2012

The Growing Pains of First Generation Homeschool Moms

I am a first-generation homeschool mother.

I came to this with nothing to offer except the commitment to raise my children in the ways of the Lord.

I started with a little homeschooling catalog and a school-at-home mentality. I took a leap of faith into something I didn’t really understand. It hasn’t been easy.

Michael Farris coined the term “transitional” to describe those of us who have transitioned from our own personal public school upbringing into this world of homeschooling.

Anything that is “transitional” typically has kinks that need to be worked out. I am forever grateful to the truly transitional generation of homeschoolers from the 80′s & 90′s who worked out the legal kinks for my generation (although, we must never stop fighting for these rights!) Because of this, the kinks that my generation of first generation homeschool moms must work out aren’t legal, but mental.

You see, I don’t have to hide my kids under beds or worry that what I am doing is illegal.

I have to worry that my public school upbringing will undermine my homeschooling.

That fact alone is why I started Raising Arrows.

I needed a daily pep talk and I was fairly certain I wasn’t alone. I needed to know that I wasn’t doing it wrong if I didn’t do it like the public school. I needed to know I was being faithful. I needed to be reminded that what God called me to He would equip me for.

I don’t have all the answers. I am a work in progress. I have moments where I don’t have a clue what the next step is. And sometimes it hurts. My heart aches for all the missed opportunities, the lessons I couldn’t fit in, the times I chose school-at-home over living a lifestyle of learning.

Growing pains indeed.

But, the beauty of growing pains is the fact that you are growing.

Becoming a homeschooling mother has brought me to a place where I am always growing. I am always learning. My God-given talents are constantly in use and my shortcomings are constantly being stretched.

So, keep going, mama! Keep learning! Keep growing! You are paving the way!

January 16, 2012

The Monotony of Homemaking

The day is finally over. The last little one is in bed and you can finally unwind.

and unwind

long into the wee hours of the morning. And when that first little one wakes up bright eyed and bushy tailed, all you can do is kick yourself and drink some coffee.

But, you do it again.

and again

and again.

Eventually, you crash and burn. You vow to do better. And you do for a while. But eventually the vicious cycle starts all over again.

There’s a reason we mamas stay up entirely too late. It’s called

Delaying the Inevitable.

We have spent all day in what feels like perpetual motion and at the end of the day, we just want to take a break. But, we have trouble taking a break from our break, because every minute we delay our own bedtime we believe we are delaying starting the daily grind all over again.

We are afraid.

We are afraid that if we don’t soak up every second of down time, we may never get any again. We are afraid if we don’t stay up just a little bit later, tomorrow will come too quickly.

We are afraid of the monotony that has become our lives.

When we, as mothers, cease to find purpose and joy in our lives as homemakers, every aspect of that life suffers.

The world will tell us the answer is to leave the home and find purpose and meaning in a career that satisfies us and uses our talents. It tells us raising children is not a worthy pursuit and will only leave us drained. We must have some sort of creative outlet and the children must be secondary.

And for a moment, we believe.

We feel unfulfilled. We feel monotonous. We feel drained. There must be more out there for us.

Many will leave the home.

Some will stick it out, forever looking forward to the time when the children are raised and they can get on with their lives.

Few will rise to the call of a joyful homemaker and actually enjoy this season of their lives.

Mamas, we must break this cycle! We have to stop seeing our lives as a chore that will one day be over and start seeing it as something to be enjoyed!

Yes, it is hard to be a stay at home mom. Yes, we get stuck in a rut, but we don’t have to stay there!

Here’s a simple exercise to help you begin to claw your way back from monotonous homemaking to abundant homemaking:

Every night before bed, think of one thing you will be doing the next day as a homemaker and mother that is purposeful and worthy of your time and effort.

In other words,

Look forward to homemaking!

Look forward to motherhood!

Monotony is a frame of mind, an attitude, and something that can be changed. You don’t have to live like this!

Don’t just do the job…

Do it well.

Do it with love.

Do it because you enjoy it.

And if you don’t enjoy it, don’t just assume it’s your home and children who are dragging you down. More than likely it’s you dragging you down.

Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to why you are feeling this way. Read encouraging blogs, begin a blog of your own to chronicle your progress (and link up here every Monday for Welcome Home!), put together a binder of ideas or look for ideas on Pinterest to help you learn to enjoy homemaking. Put your giftings to use in your home now instead of longing for the day when you can use them outside of your home.

Learn to love your husband. Learn to love your children. Seek the Lord with all your heart.

Live abundantly!

January 13, 2012

Murphy’s Law for Moms

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January 10, 2012

Have you ever felt out of place?

As I sat in that Country Club dining room I felt so out of place. Surrounding me were men and women working their way up a corporate ladder I had never stepped foot on. I’m just a mom. What in the world am I doing here?

You can find me today at The Better Mom talking about feeling out of place as a stay at home mom in a crowd of working moms.

January 5, 2012

The Tummy Chronicles: So, I fell off the wagon…

I have avoided this post like the plague.

People email {a lot} asking how I’m doing, when I’ll update, and what I think of the program this far into it.

And I avoid.

Why?

Because I didn’t want to have to tell you I had fallen off the wagon!

What happened?

To begin with…LIFE. I could use my pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage to totally justify all of this in your eyes, but that’s not fair because I fell off long before I found out I was pregnant.

The biggest reason was the amount of brain energy and time it took to do all the exercises that are involved as the Tupler Technique progresses. I felt burned out. And my “all or nothing” mentality told me that if I couldn’t get ALL the exercises in during the day, then I just shouldn’t do ANY of the exercises. Not smart.

So, here I am with a humbling update.

My progress? Not backward, but definitely not forward.

What do I think of the technique this far into it? I am still a wholehearted advocate, but I have also learned something from a dear reader whom I conversed with via email a few months back. She encouraged me to tweak rather than give up. (Disclosure: What I am about to say is NOT endorsed by Julie Tupler or the Tupler Technique in any way, shape, or form.)

Tweak #1: My braces are looking pretty ratty and I’m not fond of the new design (haven’t tried it though). Wearing the brace at night always gave me a horrendous back ache and I wasn’t doing a good job of holding my stomach muscles in when I wore the brace, so I am only using the brace when I do the exercises. Otherwise, I wear a support garment (like you find at your local discount store).

Tweak #2: I am focusing solely on the first 4 weeks worth of exercises. I had wonderful results back in 2007 from just doing those first 4 weeks. For now, I am going to stay there because they feel doable to me.

Tweak #3: Not really a tweak, but one that I wasn’t nearly as good at while wearing the brace. Remembering to hold in my stomach! And that brings me to an epiphany and a warning…

I don’t remember the exact date and time when I stopped holding my stomach in, but I would say it happened sometime shortly after I got married.

I wanted to be pregnant.

I wanted to be pregnant so bad, I quit worrying about holding in a non-pregnant stomach.

And then when I truly was pregnant, I definitely didn’t hold in my stomach.

And then I was pregnant all the time, so what was the sense in holding my stomach in.

And then I ended up with a diastasis recti so severe, I ALWAYS looked pregnant.

And I was mortified.

I wish someone had told me.

So, now I’m telling you…HOLD IN YOUR STOMACH!

It’s not just for debutantes or single women. It’s not just for vanity’s sake. It’s not even because your mom said so.

It’s because DR isn’t something you want to have or want to get worse. I don’t have the medical repercussions many woman experience (bowel issues, hernias, etc), but I do know my pregnancies would be easier if my muscles were not separated so far.

So, there you have it…I fell off the wagon and I’m back on.

I’m going to go back and update all the old posts with new information. I’ll send out new updates here and there. And I’ll continue to offer hope and encouragement from someone who understands!