Category Archives: Mommy Matters

Learning to Feel Blessed: 10 Days to a Peaceful Home

The title of this post might surprise you.  But, as someone who started her marriage and mothering feeling un-blessed, I know that sometimes you have to actually learn how to feel blessed.

After 15 years of marriage and nearly 14 years of parenting, I can now look back and say with confidence it took a complete change of heart to see my family and my home as a blessing…a change of heart only God could have given.  I had to learn to not only LOVE my family, but to LIKE my family.

I had to learn to feel blessed.

When the Lord placed Psalm 127 in front of me and opened my eyes to its words, I remember spending hours pondering the notion that children are a blessing and a reward.  I certainly did not treat them that way.  In fact, I was almost convinced my then 3 year old son was the naughtiest child on the planet and spent his waking hours crafting up ways to terrorize our home.

Looking back, I realize he wasn’t naughty at all.

He was 3.

I had expectations that were so outrageous and unattainable for both my children and my husband, that there was absolutely no way they could ever meet them to my satisfaction.

I didn’t feel blessed because I didn’t recognize my blessings.

How easy it is to focus on the negative.  We see only that which distresses us.  We keep meticulous records of wrongs and then wonder why our home feels tense and troubled.

We must turn from this way of life and begin to see the blessings before us!

On the Raising Arrows facebook page under the the Only Likers tab on the left hand side, there is a FREE Cherish Your Children Checklist.  (now available to all, so just click the link!) There are many ideas there to help you begin to see your children as a blessing, but what about your husband and your home in general?

How do you begin to see the blessings that surround you so that you begin to see peace in your home?

Be in the Word. The Psalms are among my favorite passages for teaching an attitude of blessing and being blessed.

Be forgiving. The bitterness and strife caused by unforgiveness will steal your peace and cause your eyes to be blind to the blessings around you.

Be joyful. Rejoice in the Lord!  He HAS blessed you.

Be aware. Watch for His blessings.  Ask Him to open your eyes to His blessings.

Be thankful. A thankful heart sees blessings in the little things and praises the Lord for His faithfulness.

Now look around you and be blessed!

10 Days to a Peaceful Home HOMEwork:

  • Start a Blessings Journal and record all those things you’ve been missing and thank the Lord for those things.
  • Tell your husband and children they are a blessing to you.
  • Tell others what a blessing your husband and children are to you.

Purchase the entire series along with new content and worksheets for $1.99!
Add to Cart

 

Be sure to visit these brilliant women during our 10 days adventure between November 7th-18th! I love these ladies and we know you will too.

10 days of Character Studies | Confessions of a Homeschooler
10 days of Christmas Countdown Ideas | Milk & Cookies
10 days of Creative Writing | Chocolate on My Cranium
10 days of Crockpot Meals | The Happy Housewife
10 Days to a Godly Marriage | Women Living Well
10 Days of Growing Leaders | Mom’s Mustard Seeds
10 Days of Homeschooling High School | Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers
10 days of I Wish I Had Known | Fruit in Season
10 days of Keeping Your Marbles | The Tie That Binds Us
10 days of Kid-friendly Food | Planner Perfect
10 Days of Language Arts Lesson Planning | Jimmie’s Collage
10 Days of Learning Apps | Daze of Adventure
10 Days of a Mason Jar Christmas | Cajun Joie de Vivre
10 Days of More JESUS in Christmas | Preschoolers and Peace
10 Days to a Peaceful Home | Raising Arrows
10 Days of Raising a Life-Long-Learner | Bright Ideas Press
10 days of Science with Math | Blog, She Wrote
10 days of Teaching Values | Our Journey Westward
10 days of Winning your Child’s Heart | I Take Joy

Too Busy Texting to Parent

kiwanja_palo_alto_texting_5

A beautiful blond headed little girl in a pink sundress ran ahead of us at the zoo.  She scrambled up the boards of the llama’s fence in the petting zoo area and grabbed onto the llama’s halter and looked as if she would climb right on that llama’s back as the llama struggled to get his mouth around to bite her tiny little arm off.  Thankfully, a woman standing nearby retrieved the little girl before the llama could defend itself.

and all the while her mother stood a few feet away…

texting.

At horse riding lessons I saw a similar sad, albeit less dangerous, situation.  Mommy spending the entire lesson texting while her 5 year old son learned to maneuver his steed.

This addiction can be seen in grocery stores, at stop lights, and in schools across America.

And restaurants?  Don’t even get me started.  It is beyond me how two people can go to lunch together and NEVER look up from their phones to have an actual conversation WITH each other.

Everywhere I look people are connected to their phones and disconnected from life around them.  And the worst of it is parents who are missing entire chunks of their children’s lives because of overworked thumbs.

It truly is an addiction.  An addiction that is stealing parents away from children and children away from parents.

But, lest you think I am writing this looking down my nose in condescension at texting mommies, I want to tell you there are plenty of things in this world and this life that will try to rob us of what really matters.  Texting is but one of them.

Our hearts, souls, and minds were created to worship.

We WILL worship whatever we focus on.

And yes, texting can be a form of worship.

A worship of technology.  A worship of being “on top of the latest news.”  A worship of the world.  A worship of self.

It is so easy to become immersed in the world of texting and facebook and emails and twitter and get caught up in just checking one more time, just sending out one more thing, just answering one more question.

We are afraid of missing something.  But the thing we are actually missing is much more important than what technology can offer.

We are missing life.

Real.

Abundant.

Beautifully colorful.

Life.

And children.

Children who are growing up without engaged, connected, focused parents are essentially being “left to their own” (Proverbs 29:15).

Please, mama…

Unplug.  Shut down the screen.  Shut off the phone.

You will not miss anything.

And what if you are the last one to know what was happening online while you were away?

How would what you missed (if you had known about it immediately) have enriched your life and your children’s lives?  Would one more hour, one more day, one more week really have made a difference.

My guess is

not really.

In fact, I would imagine if you totally unplugged forever you would not miss much.

Can you parent and be technologically savvy?

Sure.

But you had better be extremely self-controlled.

And you better be willing to step away from technology and be mom.

No gadgets.  No laptop.  No distractions.

Just mom.

Soda and Me

After I wrote a post saying I was giving up soda and a friend who reads my blog caught me with a soda in hand, I said I would never write a post like that again!  So, this post isn’t quite like that one in that I’m not saying I’m giving it up forever and I’m not without purpose this time, but I am doing without soda for a time and here’s why…

1.  I was reading through Large Family Logistics and even though I’ve heard it a hundred times, something about Kim saying how much better she felt after giving up soda made me think perhaps I should work toward that because…

2.  I’ve noticed how tired I am and how I use soda to combat that.  I also know that the soda is robbing me of the vitamins and minerals that I need in order to stop feeling tired!

3.  My husband is an inspiration!  He hasn’t had a single drop of soda in 20 years…yes, TWENTY years!

4.  I don’t drink enough water.  I never have.  But, I need to.  I always figured since I wasn’t thirsty I didn’t need it.  I was wrong.

5.  I’ve given myself a goal.  No soda until November 1.

6.  I’ve given myself an incentive.  For every soda I dearly want and I do without, I am putting aside $2 to donate somewhere (I haven’t decided where yet).  I’ve already racked up $10!  I’m curious to see how much money I was spending on soda…and frankly, a little scared!

So, this is sort of an experiment.  I want to see how much I was spending.  I want to see how much better I feel.  I’m even curious to see if I might happen to drop some of these stubborn pounds simply by giving up my soda habit…

until November 1, that is.

And who knows, perhaps someday I’ll be able to say,

“Kids, your dad hasn’t had a soda in forty years and I haven’t had one in twenty.”

The Tummy Chronicles – Tidbits of Wisdom



At five weeks, I hit a standstill in my journey to heal my diastasis.  I was discouraged.  I started a support forum.  And I kept going.

But it has been hard work.

There has been no progress, but I’ve also not gotten in all my reps and I’ve realized I am straining my belly too much getting up out of our furniture.  So much thought has to go into this, so I’m thankful I’ve only had a “standstill” rather than a “setback!” 

This week I am refocusing and starting over at Week 6.  {yes, that is allowed!}

I’m ready to get going!

The last time I spoke with Julie, she gave me some great little tidbits of wisdom that I would like to share here as well as encourage you to visit the forum (page 4 in particular) and glean wisdom from one of Julie Tupler’s certified trainers, Bonnie from Beautiful After Belly, who has been popping in on the forum to encourage everyone there!

*The first 6 weeks are just to strengthen your muscles. This is why you are not to exercise during that time.  You strengthen the muscles, then you heal them.  In fact, you need 3 good weeks before you ever start week 4.  If you’ve had a setback prior to week 4, don’t go on until you’ve had 3 good weeks in a row under your belt.  And don’t be afraid to redo the week you messed up.  {like me!}

*This is a marathon, not a sprint. I have a long way to go and my exciting nearly overnight success in the first several weeks was because I was finally healing connective tissue that had been damaged for a long time.  However, when my progress slowed, I became discouraged.  I saw this as a sprint even though I knew it would take more than 18 weeks to heal my DR, I still thought I would see the breakneck healing I was seeing in the beginning.  This past week I’ve realized this is a process, not a quick fix and I have to quit seeing this as something I just hurry up and get off my plate.  Thus, it is ok to go back and redo weeks and even go back and start over.  Just because I am blogging the journey does not mean I’m going to have a perfect 18 weeks.  I’m okay with that now.

*Everything you do is a workout! That’s right…every time you pull a cookie sheet out of the oven, pick up a crying baby, or hand a platter of meat to the child next to you, you are doing work and your muscles must be engaged or you are straining.

*Contractions are more important that headlifts. If you only have time for one exercise during a particularly busy day, do the contractions rather than the headlifts.  And you can do these contractions just about anywhere.

*Watch how you pick up baby! If you can, pull baby close to your belly to keep your DR from popping out and always, always engage those muscles when you are doing the “work” of picking up baby!

*It’s never too late. I’ve had many moms ask me if it is too late for them because their baby is 10 years old or more.  Well, guess what?!  Even men have this condition and they NEVER had a baby!  So, it is never too late.  Jump in where you are and heal the damage!

*It’s more about the connective tissue than the gap. If you have only a 1 or 2 DR yet have very deep connective tissue damage, you will actually have a harder time healing than someone who has a much larger gap with shallow connective tissue damage.  This is one reason I am thrilled about the connective tissue healing I’ve seen!

*Wear the splint, wear the splint, wear the splint until your DR is a shallow 1 or 2. Yes, I know that feels like forever, but I’m right here with you. :)

*Closure of you DR is NOT permanent. That is tough for me to write.  This is not the end.  There is no end.  Hopefully, though, you will have trained your muscles to hold themselves in at all times and you will not undo the healing you have done.  Be aware of your tummy and remember that everything you do is work!

So, I keep moving forward from here.  No longer will I be chronicling using the weeks as a label because I realize now I can’t do that and be true to the needs of my body.  If I have a bad week, I have to go back, blog or not.  And I promised you all the nitty-gritty details no matter how ugly they were.  Well, this is one of those lessons I’ve learned through this journey.

I also found out Julie is hoping to put together a FREE conference call where you can sit in on a Q&A session with her.  She’ll compile all the questions she gets and work her way through them.  Julie is also working on a 6 week online support program that will hopefully launch in January.  Visit her site: DiastasisRehab.com or her facebook page to stay up to date on what Julie is working on.

The Tummy Chronicles – Week 5 and Support Group!



I know I left you hanging 2 weeks ago after telling you I had heard that Week 4 was a doozy. The truth of the matter is…

IT IS A DOOZY!

You add in headlifts and another splint during the exercises and more repetitions and if you’re stamina was failing at all before, you will need a pep talk to push through.

But, here I am at Week 5…alive and well!

I have no new pictures to share with you because frankly, the size of my tummy has not changed dramatically enough to add another picture.

However, something HAS changed that is dramatic in its own right…

My diastasis, which was a 10+ finger-width gap at the beginning of all of this, is now an

8 finger width gap!

And my connective tissue is so much stronger that I can no longer sink my fingers into my belly!

Despite all of this, I am feeling worn down.  I know it seems silly that I am seeing such great success and still feeling discouraged and tired, but I told you I would be honest here.  And the honest truth is I have to tell myself every single day WHY I am doing this.

That is why I am starting a Diastasis Recti Support Forum in my Blog Frog community.  If you are taking this journey with me or if you are thinking about it and want to see and hear from others who are in the trenches, this is a great place to come and give and receive encouragement.  So, I hope you’ll join me there!

I Look Like a Mom

I am the mother of children.

Multiple children.

~Our 6 living children~

~Our precious Emily~

And I look it.

And not too long ago I realized I am okay with that.

For years I chased a dream.  A dream of a number on a scale.  A dream of the body I had in high school.  A dream of NOT looking like a mom.

Society tells me that stretch marks and extra padding in places it didn’t used to be are detestable and must be starved off, run off, or cut off.

We spend our growing up years longing for babies and our growing old years trying to look like we never had any.

Society tells us no more than two children because they wreck the checkbook and ruin the body.  And while I wasn’t completely entrenched in that culture of self, I definitely was sitting on the sidelines, wondering what a mom of 7 should look like.

The Tummy Chronicles haven’t been just a physical journey.  They have been mental as well.  It has made me realize that I am closing the gap in my stomach muscles not so I can fit into something I wore in high school {heaven forbid}, but so that I am as healthy as I can be…flab and all, and that IF the Lord blesses again, baby will have a nice home in a belly that isn’t falling apart.

I have no ill-conceived notions of sportin’ 6-pack abs.

Nor do I want to.

You know why?  Because I AM mom.  My job is to dry tears, disciple hearts, and be there for the precious little ones God has entrusted to me.

I want to show them the beauty of being home, the beauty of obeying the Lord with a willing heart, the beauty of being the mother of children.

This is beauty beyond the world’s comprehension.  This is beauty that doesn’t always come in neatly tied up packages.  This is beauty that is sometimes a little thicker around the middle, a little grayer on the top, and a little creased around the edges.

Sure, I want to be fit and healthy, but why fight looking like a mom when that’s truly what I am?  I want to embrace what that means.  I want to be content with the c-section scars, and stretch marks, and wider hips than the girl I once knew.  Those things are part of my story.  They are part of me.  Part of my legacy.

I look like a mom.

Praise the Lord…I look like a mom.

*******

Today, you can also find me at Raising Homemakers
writing about being the mother of a daughter who doesn’t
“fit the mold” in a post entitled
No Frills, No Lace.