Category Archives: Pregnancy

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away…

Thank you so much for your prayers and support.
We have been blessed by all of you through this.

Baby’s heart was no longer beating.  Now we wait.  We are praying that no intervention will be needed.

I also feel I must address something that some of you will wonder about.

Why do I continue to write as if nothing has happened?

Because that is what I do.

I write, not because I do not care or I am not hurting, but because giving my mind something to do keeps me focused and thinking outside myself.  It is my way of moving forward…one step at a time.

I know I don’t have to explain that, but I also know it is best if I do.

And I am so very thankful to have listened to this CD from Vision Forum prior to going in to the Dr’s office yesterday…

My perspective on mothering the babies I have lost to miscarriage is changed forever.  I am so glad I “accidentally” ordered this CD.

I am blessed.

And I praise the Lord for this precious life.

Baby Roberts #10,
You are loved.

While I was guarding my heart…

While I was guarding my heart, I fell in love.

I fell in love with a little baby who hasn’t made me very sick, who is measuring a week behind my dates, and who might never make it to my arms.

I wanted to just keep this to myself.  I didn’t want to have to go back and un-tell people.  Yet, I feel as though I am harboring a big secret that ought to be covered in prayer rather than hidden.

I walked into the sono room, not expecting to see a heartbeat.  Yet, there it was.  However, as we left the room, I told the tech I didn’t really feel any better.

One question answered: Is baby alive?

Another question added:  Why is baby measuring small?

And then there is the subchorionic hematoma.  It’s become my norm, but this time, it worries me.

I want to beg God for terrible, awful, {comforting} morning sickness, but I’ve done that before and I said I would never do it again.  Miserably sick isn’t easy even if I think anything would be easier than the unknown.

I beg God to chase the questions from my mind with a Peace that passes all understanding.

No, I might not get to hold this little one this side of Heaven.  Yes, there might be heartache ahead.  But, I am loved.  And so is this tiny little blessing.

I Look Like a Mom

I am the mother of children.

Multiple children.

~Our 6 living children~

~Our precious Emily~

And I look it.

And not too long ago I realized I am okay with that.

For years I chased a dream.  A dream of a number on a scale.  A dream of the body I had in high school.  A dream of NOT looking like a mom.

Society tells me that stretch marks and extra padding in places it didn’t used to be are detestable and must be starved off, run off, or cut off.

We spend our growing up years longing for babies and our growing old years trying to look like we never had any.

Society tells us no more than two children because they wreck the checkbook and ruin the body.  And while I wasn’t completely entrenched in that culture of self, I definitely was sitting on the sidelines, wondering what a mom of 7 should look like.

The Tummy Chronicles haven’t been just a physical journey.  They have been mental as well.  It has made me realize that I am closing the gap in my stomach muscles not so I can fit into something I wore in high school {heaven forbid}, but so that I am as healthy as I can be…flab and all, and that IF the Lord blesses again, baby will have a nice home in a belly that isn’t falling apart.

I have no ill-conceived notions of sportin’ 6-pack abs.

Nor do I want to.

You know why?  Because I AM mom.  My job is to dry tears, disciple hearts, and be there for the precious little ones God has entrusted to me.

I want to show them the beauty of being home, the beauty of obeying the Lord with a willing heart, the beauty of being the mother of children.

This is beauty beyond the world’s comprehension.  This is beauty that doesn’t always come in neatly tied up packages.  This is beauty that is sometimes a little thicker around the middle, a little grayer on the top, and a little creased around the edges.

Sure, I want to be fit and healthy, but why fight looking like a mom when that’s truly what I am?  I want to embrace what that means.  I want to be content with the c-section scars, and stretch marks, and wider hips than the girl I once knew.  Those things are part of my story.  They are part of me.  Part of my legacy.

I look like a mom.

Praise the Lord…I look like a mom.

*******

Today, you can also find me at Raising Homemakers
writing about being the mother of a daughter who doesn’t
“fit the mold” in a post entitled
No Frills, No Lace.

The Tummy Chronicles – Q & A


This was Week 3.  The results weren’t quite as astounding as the previous couple of weeks, but I am beginning to “see” internal healing.

When I checked my diastasis this week, I am fairly certain it is not the huge 10+ finger width it was at the beginning.  However, it is so hard to tell when the gap is THAT large.  That said, I continue to feel the connective tissue heal and become less deep!

Next week is the BIG WEEK…the one everyone says might knock me flat on my face!  Pray for me!

Today, I thought I’d take a moment to answer some reader questions that have come up along the way.  I try to answer whatever questions come up as they come up, but I thought it might be of benefit to others to see the answers as well.  So, here’s a little Q&A session!

Q. I only have a small diastasis.  Should I even bother?

A.  A resounding YES!  This isn’t something that gets better all by itself and there is a good chance if you don’t close it now, it WILL get bigger.  What I wouldn’t give to have known I could have prevented this!  You are at the perfect place to solve the problem before it really is a problem!

Q.  Is the splint safe to wear during pregnancy?

A.  According to Julie, YES.  However, if it is uncomfortable, do not wear the splint, but DO keep up with your exercises.

Q.  Is this splint the same as a compression garment?

A.  NO.  When you put on the splint/s, you move the recti muscles into position before strapping the splint into place.  Compression garments only CONCEAL, they do not HEAL and your muscles remain in the wrong place.  The brace I used to recommend did a better job than compression garments, but I realize now it isn’t as good at approximating the muscles as wearing the Tupler splints, so I only use it when I’m washing the Tupler splints.

Q.  Do I need the book, the splint, AND the DVD?

A. NO.  I recommend the DVD, the splint/s and the guidebook, but if you think you can handle writing it down on your own (something I don’t seem to be very good at doing), then you can forgo getting the guidebook.  The Mummy Tummy book is older and Julie said it is needing an update.  I also found the DVD to be easier for me to really get a grasp of how to do the exercises.

Q.  How do you pronounce this condition?

A.  This is one I got an education on!  It is di AS tasis.

Q.  How do I measure?

A.  Julie has an explanation on her site (HERE), but I’ve heard many of you say you still don’t quite get it.  When I first measured, I was lifting my head and feeling the muscles move together and THEN measuring…well, THAT is wrong.  That makes my diastasis seem smaller.  Lift your head ONLY to find out WHERE those muscles are (they will feel like ropes on either side of your belly), then lower your head and measure with your fingers side by side to see how many finger-widths the two “ropes” are apart BEFORE they ever begin to come together. I had to say 10+ because I could put all 8 of my fingers (thumbs don’t factor in here) spread out and moving from side to side in the gap between the muscles!  ACK!

Q. How long do the exercises take?

A.  The first 3 weeks haven’t been much time at all.  It takes about 2½ minutes per Contraction exercise.  So, we are talking 5-10 minutes 3x a day (and you can do them in the car!)  I’ll let you know how long Week 4+ is taking…

Q. Is it safe to do this with an umbilical hernia?

A.  YES.  The hernia is often a result of diastasis recti.

Q.  The splint is folding over.  What’s wrong?

A.  You either need a second one or you need to wash it to let it regain it’s shape.  At least those are the answers I’ve found to be the case.  If you think you might need a second one, call or email Julie and get her opinion.

Q.  I had my “baby” many years ago.  Can I still heal?

A.  YES!   My muscles split back in 2006.  Since then, I’ve had 3 more children and I am seeing healing!  You can do this!

I will not be checking in next week (I know, I know…after I told you about that scary Week 4!), but I will be back in 2 weeks to let you know how I’m doing!  Keep me posted on your progress as well!

Diastasis Recti Tummy Chronicles

Visit the Diastasis Recti from a Mom’s Perspective page for more posts and encouragement!

This is me:

Not me 9 months pregnant.

Not me a couple of days postpartum.

Me today.

No brace.  No airbrushing.

We’ve talked Diastasis Recti before.  I had no idea how important that original post would become.  I had no idea how many women were out there suffering silently, wondering how this had happened.

Women

just

like

Me.

Ever since I mustered up the courage to post that first blog entry on the topic, I’ve been on a quest.  I’ve been searching for support garments in and out of pregnancy.  I’ve searched for the right size, the right amount of coverage, the right comfort level.  I’ve also faithfully stood by the Tupler Technique™ as the ONLY way to actually FIX what was broken.

However,

I did not think The Tupler Technique™ could really fix

ME.

After all, my diastasis was HUGE.  Unfixable…except with surgery…

In February, I consulted with a plastic surgeon who basically said he’d never seen anything like

THAT.

He said he could bring the fascia together, but not the muscles.  He said he couldn’t really help me.

I left his office crying.

The only thing to do now was to CONCEAL the diastasis as best as I could with a brace and compression garments.

OR…

Was there a way I could actually HEAL?

That’s when I ended up in touch with Julie Tupler herself!

She believed in

Me.

And IF she believed in MY ability to heal…a 10+ finger width diastasis…then ANYONE could heal!  And if THAT was possible, then I would shout it from the rooftops!

And so, the journey begins…

NOTE:  The 4 tools I talk about below are great if you have the money; however, I still wholeheartedly endorse the book and offer some other “tweaking” ideas in my post: So, I Fell Off the Wagon.

Today, I have in hand 4 tools:
1.  Julie Tupler’s DVD
{The DVD is so much better than the book I bought back in 2007!  Julie shows you exactly how to put on the splint – even double splinting like I have to- and goes through all the exercises WITH you.  Watching this, I also realized my diastasis was MUCH larger than I had originally supposed because I was not checking it correctly.  I received this DVD free of charge.}

2.  The Tupler Technique™ Guidebook
{This book is a quick reference guide and a logbook for checking off each day’s exercises.  I purchased this book myself.}

3.  Two Diastasis Rehab Splints™
The splint at top is the splint Julie now sells.  I have 2 of these as per Julie’s orders since my diastasis is so large.  The splint shown below is the old one I bought in 2007 – this is the splint I could not recommend.  I had no idea it had been revamped.  I wholeheartedly endorse the new version!  Using two of them has been perfect for what I needed.  To see how to wear the splint, view the video shown here.  {I received the two new splints free of charge.}

4.  Online Support from Julie herself.
{This is something that is coming soon to Julie’s website.  I’m getting Julie live via Skype free of charge.  The online support program will be in a webinar format.  I had my first session with Julie last week!  It was so nice to have her doing the exercises along with me and cheering me on!  But, I will tell you, she’s not a pushover!  No half-hearted attempts at the exercises allowed!}

The Tummy Chronicles will give you a candid look at one mom’s hope to heal.  This will be a no-holds-barred chronicle of the program…the ups, the downs, and everything in between.  This is real, folks.  This is

Me.

If you would like to join me on this journey, the first 3 items on my list are the ones you will need to get started (see note).  You will need to measure your waist around the belly button to get the right splint size (make sure you order 2 if need be!)

Be sure and check your diastasis to see how large it is so you can track your progress.  To check for a diastasis, READ THIS CAREFULLY.  As I said above, I thought my diastasis was smaller than it actually was.  Mine is a 10+ finger width, meaning I don’t even have enough fingers to check it!

Also, my connective tissue is VERY weak.  I can actually see my internal organs moving just below the skin.  Julie talks more about this in the DVD.

And lastly, Julie said something to me that has really stuck with me as I’ve begun this journey…{and I paraphrase}…

Having a diastasis is like having a broken bone.  To heal, a broken bone must have a cast on it.  The splint is like a cast.  It might not always be comfortable, but that is what it takes to heal.

I’ve spent so much time looking for comfort, I never even thought about the possibility that healing isn’t always a comfortable business.

I am committed.

I want this.  I need this.  I’d love to have you join me!

Note: You can do this program to PREVENT a diastasis AND you can do this program while you are PREGNANT!  Please, please let other women know that this IS preventable!

Visit my Diastasis Recti from a Mom’s Perspective page for more posts!

She Wears Skirts – Maternity & Nursing Modesty

{click on the button to find all posts in this series from both Raising Arrows and The Modest Mom}

A burgeoning belly, a body that has swelled to epic proportions, aching hips, and a new life being knit within.  Modesty might be the last thing on your mind during this time, but as Caroline will tell you, modesty and feminine beauty can still be had during the maternity months.

It is so exciting to be expecting a little one! After you get past the first few months of morning sickness, your tummy starts getting bigger and you realize that new clothes need to be purchased. For some Mothers, this can be a challenge, and you can easily feel overwhelmed. If you are used to dressing in skirts and dresses, you might wonder where you will find modest maternity clothing. In my last two pregnancies I have discovered that it is possible to dress modestly, and yet be cute and stylish while pregnant. I actually love my maternity wardrobe now!

I hear a lot of ladies say that they just try to get by while pregnant, and they don’t take the time or money to get very many maternity clothes for themselves. If you plan on being pregnant more than once, you are going to get pretty tired of wearing three outfits over and over again! 9 months really is a long time, and it can be worth it to invest in some clothes that will make you feel beautiful.

Here is a list of what I have in my maternity wardrobe:

Blouses and Knit Tops-I honestly don’t know how many I have!

6 Maternity Skirts

1-2 Dresses

1-2 Jumpers

Maternity Coat

Compression Hose for my Varicose Veins

Larger size of regular low cut underwear

Maternity Pajamas

So where do I find my maternity clothes, and what do they look like?

{remember, all pictures are clickable!}

Maternity Blouses

I love going to garage sales and children’s consignment sales for my tops! Many times you can find like new maternity tops at garage sales for .50 or $1.00 each! I don’t think I have ever bought a brand new maternity top, the most I have ever paid is $5.00 at a consignment sale for one. Craigslist and Ebay are also a great place to shop for maternity clothes. You can also ask friends if you can borrow their maternity clothes. I know I have shared some of my clothes with a friend before! One other place I look for maternity tops is Zulily, a daily deals place for Moms, Babies, and Children. Those are brand new, but are cheaper than full price.

{Amy here – Don’t forget about looking at shirts that may only need an undershirt or a Belly Band pulled up instead of used in the traditional way.  I did this with a lot of maternity shirts during my last pregnancy and it worked great!}

Maternity Skirts

My favorite skirts to wear while pregnant are the Long Ruffle Skirts we sell on The Modest Mom. They are loose enough to be modest, but they don’t make me feel even bigger than I really am when wearing them! I have a black one, denim one, khaki one, brown one, and several prints.

themodestmom.com

The straight A-Line maternity skirt is perfect for everyday wear. I have one or two of these skirts.

A-line maternity skirt from themodestmom.com

Our Ruched Skirt is a popular choice for a more dressy type skirt. This is great for wearing to church, or going to your baby shower! :)

What skirts do not look good?

Huge prints and stripes does not look flattering on most pregnant women. I would stay away from skirts like that!

Now on to…

Dresses

I love to have one or two nice dresses for church. While most dresses at Shabby Apple are short, this maternity dress is lovely. It could be paired with a nice sweater if you are pregnant during the winter months.

Jumpers

I like having a solid denim jumper to wear while pregnant. Sometimes I want something long and flowing. A nice jumper does the trick.

maternity jumper from motherhood.com - I would wear a shirt under this!

Maternity Coat

This is a luxury in my opinion, as I have gotten along fine most of my pregnancies with my regular long wool coat. I admit, towards the end the only button that actually closes is the top one, but it still works! My Mother-In-Law happened to find a maternity coat for me to wear during my last pregnancy, and it was nice to have something made just for that time of life. :) This is the last thing I would spend my money on if I was on a budget though.

maternity coat from motherhood.com

Compression Hose

I had really bad Varicose Vein problems this last pregnancy, so I wore compression hoses when I could stand them. :) The best place to buy them is Ames Walker.  You are supposed to buy new compression hose for each pregnancy, as they do wear out.

Underwear

I bought maternity underwear during my first pregnancy from Motherhood. I have never bought any since then! It was terribly uncomfortable, and never fit right. Now, I just buy a size or two larger of low cut underwear, and wear it under my belly. It works perfect, and is less expensive!

Pajamas

Two pairs of maternity pajamas are very nice to have. I have also just worn loose nightgowns, but I don’t like to sleep in nightgowns nearly as much as pajama pants. Cotton pajamas are the best as they are breathable, making hot flashes at night a little bit more bearable. :)

pajamas from motherhood.com

Staying warm

If you are pregnant during the winter months, you might be wondering how to keep warm! I wear knee high cotton socks when pregnant, or these leggings from Motherhood would be wonderful to wear under a skirt.

Now Amy speaks to nursing modesty…

Breastfeeding a new babe can be one of the most blessed experiences of motherhood.  But it can also be rather confounding when it comes to nursing discreetly in public.  However, with a little practice and the right clothing, you can modestly breastfeed with confidence and leave the days of nursing the baby in the bathroom behind!  Here’s how…

*Get the right nursing top

I have my preferences in nursing wear.  So, what you will see here is based on those preferences.  I’ve breastfed 7 children for a total of 6½ years…I’ve got it down to a science. ;)

For new moms and/or moms who are less than confidant about their ability to breastfeed in public, it is advisable to get a couple of nice tops designed with the nursing mother in mind.  My favorites are the ones that have a double layer.  You simply lift the top layer and there are nursing openings cut into the bottom layer.  Your tummy stays covered and the top layer drapes nicely around baby’s face.  Motherwear.com is a great place to find these kinds of tops:

Cotton knit top from motherwear.com

Layered knit top from motherwear.com

I would advise staying away from anything that says it has spandex in it or says it is form-fitting.

Another great way to stay modest while nursing is to wear your regular clothes with something underneath, so…

*Get the right underthings

There are several ways to do this.  One way, is to get a tank top specifically designed as a nursing tank, like this one from Undercover Mama:

You can also buy a regular camisole that has a shelf bra built in.  Wear it under your regular tops and simply pull down the top of the camisole to nurse.  However, this isn’t the best option because these camisoles don’t have much support.

Another thing I have done is used a Belly Bandto cover my belly under regular shirts so when I lift my shirt to nurse, my belly stays covered. {The link here is just one of MANY brands of Belly Bands.  I’ve also been known to buy spandex camisoles cheap and cut off the top half, thus creating a wide strip of stretchy material that acts just like a belly band!}

*Get the right accessories

Every nursing mama has a favorite nursing accessory.  Michelle Duggar loves her My Brest Friend, my friend Dalena loves her nursing cover, and I’m partial to just a simple blanket.

A dear friend of mine introduced me to the joys of an oversized receiving blanket as a way to modestly nurse.  These are easy sewing projects and can be done in lots of different fabrics.  My favorites are a lightweight cotton for summer and a flannel for winter.  Mine measure about 1¼ yd square.  Roll hem the edges and you have a personalized nursing blanket that can be anything from a sweet baby print to a chic black for those dates with Daddy. :)

*Get the right attitude

I’m not talking about an in-your-face attitude, but an attitude that shows confidence in what you are doing.  Women who are nervous about breastfeeding in public will often end up making more of a scene than need be.  By simply practicing at home in front a mirror to see how much skin is actually showing and then learning how to quickly and discreetly unlatch what needs to be unlatched and latch on who needs to be latched on, a breastfeeding mother can easily nurse anywhere.

I’ve got a whole rhythm down to nursing my babies.  I hand baby to someone else or lay him down on my lap, throw my blanket over one shoulder and take care of the unlatching and situating that needs to be done, slide baby up under the blanket and shirt, latch him on (unless he is old enough to do it himself ;) ), cross one leg over to hold baby in place, and go on about my life.  But again, I’ve nursed 7 children…practice DOES make perfect!

So, there you have it…

Pregnancy and breastfeeding can be done beautifully and modestly!

Now, head over to The Modest Mom where you can find Caroline’s husband guest posting!
If you’d like to read all the posts in the She Wears Skirts series, simply click on the button below:

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