Category Archives: Spiritual Matters

How to Have Your Quiet Time All Day Long

How to Have Quiet Time All Day Long | RaisingArrows.net

I used to get up at 6:30 am every day, sit on my front porch and drink coffee while I read in my Bible and prayed.  Back then, I had 2 small children and my husband was deployed.

Six kids later, mornings are filled with breastfeeding and diapers and preparations for school that day.  I hit the ground running and don’t slow down until about 2 pm.

But you’re not allowed to have Quiet Time at 2 pm are you?

Oh wait.  It’s not exactly quiet at 2 pm either…or 3 or 4 pm…or even 8 or 9 pm.  And once I have the children in bed, there’s time with my husband that needs to find its time slot too.

What’s a busy mom to do about Quiet Time?

Well, first of all, don’t go looking up the words “Quiet Time” in your concordance because they aren’t there.  While I understand the reasoning and heart behind Quiet Time as a specific event, I think women have made it a hill to die on.

Wrong hill, folks.  Climb down and let’s talk.

Time with the Lord is not supposed to be something you check off a list or turn on and off at will.  Quiet time isn’t a measure of your worth or your holiness, and we shouldn’t feel the need to look down at our shoes and mutter something guilt-ridden when asked about our “Quiet Time” by another well-meaning mother.

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy
1 Peter 3:15a

Jesus came down the hardest on the Pharisees, who went through all the outward motions of being followers of God, but whose hearts were anything but the Lord’s.

No, I’m not calling people who have a set Quiet Time Pharisees, but I am saying that Quiet Time is not what personifies a holy life.

I believe you should have Quiet Time all day long in order to lead a holy life.

I know a few of you are wondering how in the world you are going to manage that if you can’t even find 2 seconds of quiet in your day.  This post is especially for you:  the weary mom who feels guilty over not doing the Quiet Time thing right.

No More Guilt

Quiet Time in the traditional sense usually involves reading your Bible, meditating on the Scripture, and praying.  The purpose is learning about the Lord, seeking His wisdom, and drawing closer to Him.  All of this put together is worship.

Worship Where You Are!

I want to encourage you to learn about the Lord, seek His wisdom, and draw closer to Him all day long.  Yes, have Quiet Time all day long!  Here’s how…

Moms (and especially homeschool moms) have a unique privilege of teaching Scripture to their children during the daytime hours and in every day life.  While I believe a father should be the guiding force of the faith in the home, the mother gets to be the one who nurtures her children in the faith.

As we teach, we learn about the Lord!

Your Bible Time with the children should be deep and rich.  Noah’s Ark as a fun story about a flood and a rainbow is totally missing the point and potentially starving you and your children of the meat of the Gospel.  Your time spent in the Word with your children can be just as rich and rewarding as a 6:30 am Quiet Time.

Resources for Bible Time:
(includes affiliate links)
You need a good Bible for every child, even the non-readers.  We recommend:

A deep devotional.  For younger children, we like:

For older children, we like the FREE resources from Paul Washer.

What About Meditating on Scripture?

One thing I am starting back up with my children is memory work.  I have not done a good job of this in many years and I need to get back to it.  I intend to work on the same Scriptures my children are working on so we can hold each other accountable.

A great resource for Scripture Memory is this series from Grace & Truth Books:
TruthGraceMemoryBookSET

 

Other ideas:
Place Scripture around your home.
Sing Scripture songs.
Listen to Bible teachings during the day.
Ask your husband to read Scripture to you.

What About Prayer?

Someday I will have more time to devote to prayer, but that doesn’t mean my prayers will be any more sincere and heartfelt than they are right now.

I have become adept at seeing or hearing of a need and stopping right that second to pray.  I pray as I write, as I send emails, as I bathe the children, and as I cook dinner (remember my apron prayers?).  The Lord doesn’t somehow hear me better in a quiet house.

There is No Formula.

Mothers naturally lean toward a guilt-ridden state of mind because we fear doing something wrong.  Please know that just because you aren’t following some formula you’ve somehow “messed up”.  God is not keeping a tally of how many times you had Quiet Time and how many times you failed to make it out to the porch with your Bible and coffee.

God doesn’t want your 6:30 am sacrifice.  He wants your entire day!


Who is Influencing Your Homeschool?

Who Is influencing Your Homeschool? | RaisingArrows.net

 

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.
Psalm 1

Homeschool moms love to have real life friends who homeschool.  We long for camaraderie amongst other moms in the trenches.

camaraderie

But, we have to be careful…

We become like whomever we spend time with.  Notice the definition of “camaraderie”?  It says, “who spend a lot of time together.”  The people you spend your time with naturally influence you and not all influences are created equal.

We tell our kids all the time to beware who they spend time with, but do we think about our own influences as homeschool moms?

While we are at it, we might as well take this a step further…

Even if the moms you spend time with are encouraging and building you up in your vision for homeschooling, what other influences do you have in your life that might be tearing you down?

Are we careful about the books we read?  How about the TV we watch?  Are we keeping our focus on what matters or are we hyper-focused on the trivial?

What about family members who are trying to tear us down?  Do we recognize that what they say is not necessarily Truth?

Psalm 1 tells us Who we should be spending our time with and the results of that time spent. 

Do you feel planted by a stream?
Do you feel fruitful?
Are you a leaf that does not wither?
Are you prospering?

It all comes down to Who or who is influencing your homeschool.

My Excuses for Overeating and Not Exercising

It’s important I know and address all the excuses I have for overeating and not exercising because excuses have always stood in my way.  They are how I justify not being healthy.  If I can work through the excuses, I can find answers and solutions and motivation to move past my excuses.

I figure we all have our excuses, so…

What's Your Excuse? | RaisingArrows.net

Some of my excuses are unique to me and some are struggles a lot of moms have.  Time to lay it all on the line.

EXCUSE #1 – My child’s death

One excuse that is very unique to me centers around my daughter’s death.  I have been unable to lose any significant amount of weight since her death 5 years ago.  Why?  Because somewhere in the back of my head I equate losing weight with deprivation and I want to want for nothing.  I have been deprived of my child’s growing up years and that is quite enough.  Because of this mentality, I have managed to convince myself that my lack of motivation is not a lack of self-control, but rather a matter of self-preservation.

However, my child dying is not a good reason not to take care of my health.  In my quest not to be deprived, I became someone who let gluttony rule me.  And gluttony will always leave you wanting.

EXCUSE #2 – I don’t have time.

This is one of those excuses that is quite easily justified.  I have 7 children in my home.  Plus, I homeschool.  The nooks and crannies of my day are filled to the brim…or so it would seem.  Yet, I find time to blog and check Facebook.  I find time to sit and read sections of a book or magazine that interest me, and I find time to go grab a soda at the gas station down the road.

I tell myself those things don’t take very long, but that’s pretty lame.  You can exercise in 10 minute snippets throughout the day.  It is better than no exercise.  And why not choose an exercise like T-Tapp that all the children can do with me and call it Physical Education?  Additionally, you can premake healthy snacks or have easy foods on hand that don’t compromise your health or your time.

The truth of the matter is, I don’t exercise because it isn’t a priority.  Internet time, my new book, and that gas station soda are more important to me.  I have to stop using the excuse of no time and decide to make exercise and eating right a priority.

EXCUSE #3 – Too many littles

I live in a land of perpetual toddlers and newborns.  Isn’t exercise impossible when you have lots of littles?  You can’t head to the gym on a whim.  You live your life in between their naps and nursing sessions.  I’ll just wait until they are older or until I hit menopause and the babies stop coming.  Until then, I’ll just be a slobby unhealthy mess.

This was probably my #1 excuse for not exercising.  That is, until my friend Angie, another mom of many, started sharing her determination to be a fit mom and my friend Jamie, also a mom of many, dropped over 100 pounds and started running.  Their excitement was contagious and I realized if they could do it with a lot of littles, I could too.  (You can follow Angie’s journey at her blog One Motivated Mama.)

Once again, being fit had to become a priority in my life.  I have to be fit BECAUSE I have lots of littles, not in spite of all my littles.  They are not an excuse for being unhealthy, and how dare I lay the blame on them.

EXCUSE #4 – My husband isn’t on board.

For years I blamed my husband, who was a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier than me, for my weight gain.  He was playing college football or running miles upon miles in the military, but I, in my sedentary state, was matching his food consumption calorie for calorie.  My lack of self control was his fault.  Hmmm….

Now, I must admit, when my husband, who isn’t as physcially active as he once was, is more cognizant of his food choices, I follow suit, but I can’t use him as a crutch.  (By the way, Ty has lost 24 pounds simply by tracking his food and exercise in My Fitness Pal!)

Sometimes this excuse has been more of a pity party where I tell myself that Ty gets to exercise any time he wants, and he doesn’t have a whole crew of kiddos to feed and homeschool.  He has that precious time I don’t seem to have.  Oh wait…I debunked that myth already.  And frankly, he has a whole office of staff to supervise and a workload that could stress anyone.  He has as much time as I do.  The difference is he made being fit a priority, and we’ve already established that I did not.

EXCUSE #5 – I don’t have the money.

No money for a gym membership or healthy food isn’t an excuse I can allow either.  I can do free YouTube workouts (I’ve been adding some to my Weight Loss and Fitness Pinterest Board as I find ones I want to try) and I can rework the grocery budget so I can add in more healthy foods.  Or I can simply eat less of what I’m already making.  I may have to close my ears to all the latest, greatest costly exercise and weight loss programs, or save up for the ones I really feel could benefit me, but in this country and era, money should never be an excuse for not being healthy.  There are ways to be healthy on a budget.  I just have to make them a…yes, you guessed it…priority!

EXCUSE #6 – It doesn’t really matter.

A few years ago, I gave up.  I told myself I didn’t care anymore.  In fact, I even managed to convince myself that God wanted me to overindulge in food.  Last year, before my miscarriages, I was doing a free online program called Setting Captives Free that opened my eyes and heart to what Scripture really says about being healthy.

I am a glutton.  I must admit that.  I am not the temple I should be not because of how much I weigh or how little I exercise, but because my heart is not where it should be.

You see, I’ve been talking about priorities all throughout this post, but the real truth of the matter is my #1 priority has to be Christ.  I have to be filling up on Him and running this race for Him.  My body isn’t a temple for me to show off how thin I am or how strong I am or how awesome of a mom of many I can be.  Being fit can’t be about me.  It has to be about something bigger than me because someday the exterior temple will crumble and what I’ll be left with is what was behind it all along.

I have to do this because I am aiming for holiness and self-control, a life that honors the Lord as above all.  A life that declares my #1 Priority is my Savior, my Christ.

Fit Mom of Many | RaisingArrows.net

The Truth Behind Homeschool Burnout

homeschool burnout copyHomeschool burnout comes in all sorts of forms.  Sometimes it looks like a new homeschooling mom overwhelmed by the thought of being responsible for educating her children.  Sometimes it looks like a seasoned homeschool mom who has grown weary of the day to day pressures.

Very rarely does a homeschool mom manage to escape burnout throughout her entire homeschooling career.  But all too often the true reason behind homeschooling burnout is not addressed.  We talk about options for lightening mom’s load or we point her toward support groups or we offer her nothing but a pat on the back and an, “I understand.”

While all these things are noble and good, they don’t get to the heart of the matter…

Homeschool burnout happens when
homeschooling priorities end up backward.

We can’t survive homeschooling for 12, 15, 20+ years putting our focus solely on academics.  We’ll never make it if we educate in fear of man made standards.  We won’t last if we try to mimic the public school system.  We will burnout.

How do we stop the burnout?  The answer is simple but easy to lose sight of.

In order to avoid homeschool burnout, we must keep Christ as our focus.

We must prioritize with

faith first,
character second,
and knowledge third;
each building on the previous, each built on Christ.

Practically, this is going to look different for every family, but it’s important to take time to bathe your homeschool in prayer and ask the Lord to guide your footsteps…every day.  Fix your heart and your children’s hearts on Him, direct and discipline with a focus on Biblical principles, and educate from a Christian worldview. 

So, when you begin to feel yourself “burning out,” take a moment to analyze where your priorities are.  You might just find that you have them backward.

homeschooling with purpose

10 Questions Christians Need to Ask Themselves – Our response to the Connecticut shootings

I don’t usually write about current events here on Raising Arrows.  I leave that to other blogs to deal with accordingly, not because I don’t feel like current events should be addressed, but because the focus here at Raising Arrows is more on the little things that make up the big things that affect our world, rather than the events of the world itself.

Even today, I don’t intend to break down the events of Friday in Connecticut, but rather offer a focus in the form of some tough questions and eternal Truths.

The Truth is that human beings were made in the image of God and were created with purpose, but the humanism of our modern age ignores this Truth and creates an environment of devalued life and a purpose that thinks only of self.

Every single person killed on Friday, gunman included, was created in God’s image.  Every single person on this earth, no matter their faith (or lack thereof), their skin color, or their political affiliation were created in the image of God with purpose.  Not all see themselves or others this way, not all work toward fulfilling a purpose rooted and grounded in the Word of God; however, the fact that people do not see purpose in their lives or the lives of others does not null and void the fact that they have been created by Design.

We have to start seeing ourselves, our children, and everyone in this world as created in God’s image.  We have to speak purpose into our children’s lives.  We have to stop seeking self and start seeking God’s perfect will.  We have to raise up a new culture.  Only then will anger and lawlessness be stopped.  Only then will men cease to do what is right in their own eyes. (Judges 21:25)

Many people will try to control what happened in Connecticut with pointed fingers and stiffer laws.  There will be blame laid all over the place, but few will take the time to dig deep into what really happened.

We have created a culture where every man is out for himself and few seek the One True God.  We don’t acknowledge life as God-given and we don’t respect much outside of our own thoughts and opinions.  We take more than we give and we demand more than we defer.  We are so focused on the here and now and the culture of self that we have no need of God and no need of a Savior.  After all, we’ve done nothing wrong…or at least, nothing as wrong as that other guy.

Our church service last night was spent breaking down the truth of what happened on Friday.  We looked long and hard at the value of human life and the role of humanism in our modern society.  I walked away from that service with a heavy heart, one that grieved over my own part in this crisis.

I began to ask myself some tough questions.  Questions I believe every Christian should ask themselves…

1.  Inside and outside my home, whom do I serve?  Am I busy self-preserving or serving others in Christ’s name?  Is my heart inwardly or outwardly focused?

2.  Do my children know they are created in God’s image, not just by my words, but by my actions as well?  Do they know they have a God-given purpose.  Do they know we see each and every one of them as blessings and that we gladly accept these gifts from the Lord?  Do they know that Mommy and Daddy rejoice in being able to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? (Ephesians 6:4)

3.  Am I spending my time as a mother training my children up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) or am I guiding them toward a humanist worldview?  Do they know that life is not about living for yourself and doing the things that make you happy, but that life is about loving and knowing God so that you can love others?

4.  When I see sin in others, do I become self-righteous or do I grieve over a back turned on God?  Do I love others enough to not want to see them go to hell?  Do I love others enough to take the time to be a beacon of Light and Hope?

5.  Do I spend a lot of time complaining?  Am I upset over my current situation or at the people in my life who bother me.  Am I living a life full of “poor-me’s”  or am I striving toward the joy of a life lived for Christ?

6.  Am I living as salt and light?  Do others see a life steeped in the Word of God?  Do I point others toward Christ?  Or am I too focused on myself to keep focused on Him?

7.  Am I striving to do the Lord’s will faithfully?  Am I content with where He has placed me?  Am I content with His timing?  Am I content with His purpose in my life?  Am I searching for what benefits me or am I seeking and waiting upon Him? (Psalm 27:14)

8.  Do I truly love others?  Do I believe every life matters?  Do I believe every life is God-given?  Not just the ones who do no harm, but also those who do?

9.  Do I know how to condemn the sin, but grieve over the sinner?  Do I know how to love the hard-to-love?

10.  What is the biblical response to sin and evil?  Where does my hope lie? (1 Peter 3:15)  What can I do to proclaim this hope, not just when tragedy strikes, but every single day of my earthly life?

Dear readers, I know what it is like to lose a child.  I know what it is like to try to cram everything you want to say about your child onto a piece of stone.  I know what it is like to always feel as if a piece of you is missing.

And I know my daughter’s life and death had purpose and meaning.

Now is not the time to find blame and point fingers.  It is time to offer hope.  It is time to outwardly live a Gospel-centered life that reaches across this land and beyond.

It’s time the Salt became salty once again.


Where Household Management Begins

Read the entire series here!

Often, as homeschool moms we feel a little helpless.  Our day sort of happens to us rather than us controlling it.  Homeschooling at its most basic level creates a household that is full all day long rather than empty of children and adults during school hours.  Add in messes and meals, field trips and music lessons and next thing you know the day is full, the house is full and your life is full.

But there is one thing you can control in every aspect of your day as a homeschool mom -

YOU!

That’s right!  Even when all else is crazy and hectic, you still have control over the one person you know best – yourself.

Your reactions, your attitudes, your motivations, your vision…all depend on YOU!

Tantamount to all of this is your relationship with Christ:

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
Deut 6:6
(emphasis mine)

One thing I love about homeschooling is that I can show my children that Scripture is the most important thing by which all else is judged.  While my own spiritual life is directly reflected in my homeschool day, I also have the express benefit of learning the things of God alongside my children.  I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to be teachable.

So, how does this apply to how I manage my home?

I will not be a good home manager if I am not first managing myself.  I need to be walking in the Spirit and displaying the fruits of that walk (Galatians 5).  I need to put aside laziness and selfishness and pride and put on a servant’s heart and the Proverbs 31 work ethic.  I need to humble myself and know when to say no, and gird up my loins and know when to say yes.

I will never get organized and run my household with wisdom, grace, and love if I do not work at it.  Paul says we are running a race, not taking a nap.  There is ACTION and forward movement in this analogy.

Running our household for the glory of God should never be a stale, stagnant thing, but rather a vibrant and active progression toward more and more of Christ, His ways, and His Truth!

Where can you start today?

With His Word!

And as a special thank you to Raising Arrows subscribers and Facebook Likes, you can download my FREE eDevotional:

You can also find the children’s Fruit of the Spirit eDevotional with printables here!

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This post is part of the Fall 2012 iHN Hopscotch.