I never knew Anna, yet her life and her death have impacted my life beyond words.
In 2007 and 2008 as we struggled through surgery after surgery with our little girl, Emily, Anna’s parents, Kyle and Lynnette Kraft, walked beside us, recounting their own numerous hospital stays with Anna. They brought us food and comfort. They offered respite and normalcy in a sterile world. We sang and laughed and lived the best we could.
The morning Emily passed away, I dialed Lynnette’s number through tears and raw emotion. I will never forget her scream on the other end of the line as she grieved for us as only a mother who knows exactly how painful it is to lose a child can.
It was Kyle and Lynnette who drove us home that bitter February day. It was Kyle and Lynnette who gave voice to what we needed to plan a funeral, to plan a life without our precious daughter.
It was Anna who taught them how to minister to us.
But we are not the only ones Kyle and Lynnette have ministered to. There are countless others, including the 911 dispatcher who took their call the night their daughter died. He Heard Hannah is that story.
As I read Lynnette’s book, I found myself praising God that He can take the pain and sorrow of death and bring forth new life. I found myself renewed as a mother. And I wondered…how would God take my own pain and use it to His glory?
Many of you know Lynnette from her blog or from Emily’s Story, but I wanted to do something I had never done before…have her speak to all of you here at Raising Arrows. I want you to hear firsthand from the woman who was the very hands and feet of Christ four years ago. I wanted you to hear her message of hope.
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Amy: As a blogger who writes about what it is like to lose a child, I often hear moms say, “I could never survive what you’ve gone through.” What thoughts could you share with those mothers who fear what you have lived through?
Lynnette: I have been told many times, “You are so strong! I could never make it through that sort of loss.” I’ll be honest it’s very difficult to provide a verbal response to that sort of statement. What I found myself thinking was You haven’t see me when I’m by myself. I can’t go through something like this either.
I remember watching Oprah when my first child was only a baby. It was a show about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I remember thinking I could NEVER go through something like that! In fact, just watching the show created a sort of looming fear.
The thing is, nobody can go through tragedy and heartache in their mind alone – in a sort of alternate reality. If you are in that place of suffering, you simply have no choice. You go into survival mode and you look for a safe way through it.
In my case, the strength found for that healing came through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Amy: How has writing helped you heal?
Lynnette: I never considered myself anything other than a hobby writer, yet when I was going through the pains of loss I found myself journaling to cope. I wrote down irrational emotions, and desperate prayers and also penned scriptures that provided me with hope.
I believe my instinctive desire to write came from my desperate need to hope and heal… but eventually that blossomed into a desire to share the miraculous result of that journey – my victory!
God has done overwhelmingly big things in my heart and life. I don’t dare keep them to myself! Psalms 96:3 “Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all the peoples.”
Amy: What advice do you have to women who have friends dealing with the loss of a child?
Lynnette: How can you tenderly touch the life of your friend through her pain?
Love on. Pray for. Touch gently. A mother who has lost a child is a tender and fragile woman.
- She needs words of kindness: “I love you.” “I’m praying for you.”
- She needs to hear you say her child’s name. Don’t be afraid.
- She needs tender, physical touch (the amount a person needs depends on the person, but all mommies who have lost a child, need it – because they are missing the physical touch of their child).
- She needs you to ask her permission. Don’t take liberties when it comes to her child. (Such as removing her child’s belongings or removing her child’s name from something like a directory.)
- Don’t offer too much counsel unless you’ve been there and know the road well. *Scriptures that are safe and helpful to share are ones of hope and encouragement.
- Do whatever your friend needs you to do. Needs will vary based on individual circumstances. Observe, do and assign tasks to others. Just meet her needs (including the needs of her family) until she can do it herself.
Amy: How has the path you have walked shaped who you are today as a mother, as a wife, as a friend?
Lynnette: My journey has changed me. I can’t even begin to tell you all of the ways. It was as if I was destined to be the person I am now, but never could have made my way without the heartaches. I am not bitter in any way. I love God more. I am more devoted to His service. I love people with more fervor. God has used heartache to change me for the better in every way. Hallelujah!
Amy: What is your vision for He Heard Hannah?
Lynnette: My vision came quickly – and is what inspired me to write this book.
I want He Heard Hannah to remind Christians that God is always at work – even when we aren’t aware! I want Christians to get excited about their faith! I want Christians to search for the hidden things of God.
I want people who don’t know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior to see hope for themselves. I want them discover, as Courtney did, “The God of the Kraft family” – a faithful and true God. Courtney’s transformation is for anyone and everyone willing to open their heart and mind to Jesus. Sharing redeeming Love and true Hope is the greatest privilege of my life.
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My dear readers, here is your opportunity to own a copy of He Heard Hannah by Lynnette Kraft! You will be blessed!
{Email readers, please click over to the post to enter the giveaway.}
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