Category Archives: Time Management

Taking the Time to Make a Home

Taking the Time to Make a Home | RaisingArrows.net

There are so many things I wish I had the time to do.  I have lists and lists of ideas I want to try, recipes I want to make, and posts I want to write.  I’ve made peace with the fact that many of these things will never get done, but I have to continually look at that list of undone things to make sure that what I’m leaving undone isn’t actually something necessary.

One necessary thing I see many moms leaving undone is making a home.

A home is more than just a house you live in with your family.  It actually has nothing to do with the structure, but rather it is the essence of your family and the little things within the structure that speak to who you are as a family.  It isn’t even the decor or the furniture or the food that makes the home; although, those things can definitely be a part of that essence of family.

What a home truly is goes much deeper and is often lost in the craziness of the day to day life of the family.  It is the connections between family members that make a home a real home.

Have you ever been around a family that seemed to only live together, but really didn’t do much more than that?  They sort of passed in the hall or coming in and out the door, never really connecting with each other.  Their house was void of relationships.

With our online life taking up more and more time, our home life has suffered immensely.  We are connected with people we graduated high school with, but lack connection to the very people who live under the same roof as us.  Sometimes I wonder if people online know more about us than our own families!  How’s that for being disconnected?!

It’s time.

It’s time to come back to our real world.  It’s time to put first things first and work on the relationships we have with the members of our household before we check out the status of our friendships online.

It’s time we took the time it takes to make a home by taking the time it takes to be a homemaker.  And the only way we can be a homemaker is by not only being home, but by building strong relationships with the people we are making the home for.

How to Keep Going When You Can’t Keep Up

brainless

Every mother has moments in her life when she feels like there is no way she can keep up with everything she needs or wants to do.

I’m having one of those moments.

In fact, I don’t even want to keep up!  I told you on Friday I am hibernating and that has a lot to do with it.  I could care less what’s happening on the internet and I wish my emails would take care of themselves (as in disappear), I’ve become a lumbering bear and I often find myself just sitting…not reading, not cross-stitching, not writing or daydreaming…just sitting.  And sometimes, I just lay down because sitting is too much work.

However, as I sit here typing this post (yes, I am sitting, but might need to lay down afterward), I realize there are a few things in life that must go on even when mama doesn’t feel like she can keep up with it all.  Some plates get dropped, but some must continue to spin in some fashion.

Here are my thoughts on how to keep going without keeping up with your normal A-game...

*Meals – While I love perusing my Recipes board on Pinterest and adding all the yummy things I have pinned there to my menu list, there is no way this fits into the Keep Going pile.  My menu for the next two weeks is simple, simple, simple.  Lots of crock pot meals, lots of 3-5 ingredient meals, lots of the-kids-can-make-this meals.  There is no reason to Keep Up with my normal menu routine when a simplified version will suffice.

*School – Every day, I decide what I think I can handle and let the rest go.  How I feel physically changes on a daily basis, so I have to be willing to adapt.  When you are in Keep Going mode, you have to accept limitations as part of your day.  Take school in bite-sized pieces, only chewing as much as you can handle each day.

*Cleaning – Focus on the basics.  Dusting can wait.  Your house will not implode from a layer of dust.  Use paper products to lighten your kitchen load and get the kids involved in keeping the house tidy.  A little bit of tidy goes a long way when you can’t seem to Keep Up with it all.

*Outside Communication & Matters of Import – While I would love to stop answering the phone and delete every email in my inbox, there are still important things I have to attend to.  When it comes to figuring out how to Keep Going with these important things breathing down your neck, the best solution I’ve found is a list.  I don’t even prioritize the list.  I just write it.  I also give myself permission to NOT answer phone calls that aren’t truly important and DELETE emails that really don’t need my attention.  I sort of drop off the face of the earth when it comes to anything EXTRA.  The trick here is being HONEST with yourself about what is extra and what really does need your attention.  Can’t figure it out for yourself?  Ask your husband.

*Outside Activities – Sadly, we aren’t always issued early warning before we realize we can’t Keep Up.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle much come January 1st, so I cut off all outside activities for the month of January and early February.  But, if you aren’t allowed this kind of foresight, you have to find a way to get rid of the guilt and pare down the outside activities.  Outside activities take up a lot of time and energy and really have no place in the Keep Going phase of life.  Let them go until you can Keep Up.

So, there you have it…my guilt-free, sit-and-relax, baby-will-come-eventually B game.  I’ll Keep Going, because I have no other choice, but you won’t find me Keeping Up.  Turn around and wave at me every now and then.  I’ll eventually get up and join you.


The How & Why Of Using a Planner in 2013 {guest post}

Today, I want to introduce to you a sponsor of Raising Arrows, who happens to be a mother of many and the creator of The Homemaker’s Friend Daily Planner.

SueHer name is Sue Hooley.  She and her husband, Dan, have been married for 22 years and have 6 children ranging in ages from 3 to 19.  After struggling for years trying to make her life fit into a conventional planner, she created her own adaptable planner and began selling it in 2010.

2013 Daily Planner small

Today, she shares with you why a planner is so important to the daily operations of the home and exactly HOW to make it work for you.  (You can order Sue’s planner at this link and receive FREE shipping!)

*****************

As a homemaker, my daily planner is a friend that helps me juggle dentist appointments and ripe peaches with bulging clothes hampers and potlucks. It is a central location where I can make notations about upcoming church and social events, household jobs, appointments, children’s activities and more. A planner gives me a visual image of present duties and future commitments.

Written tasks and events give me specific direction. There was a time when I spent half the morning trying to decide which “important” thing to do first. I would begin a project, only to realize that I didn’t have what I needed. Then I would begin another project, and by the end of the day I hadn’t really accomplished much. If you have experienced this same confusion, you can get control of your day by making and following a weekly/daily plan.

A planner helps me make the most of my time. If I write ‘send a card to Aunt Elizabeth,’ I will likely get it done. I can easily ignore a small job, but if it is written on paper, I am more likely to find a few minutes for that particular task. In addition, I feel blessed by reaching out to someone beyond my own four walls.

Homemakers have a variety of duties without a specific time allotment. One week we might butcher chickens, plan a potluck and entertain guests. The following week we might be involved in totally different activities. In all of the busyness, we are still a wife, a mother and a household manager. If the days are constantly scheduled too full, someone or something will suffer. We owe it to our families to create a relaxed atmosphere and allow time for spontaneous picnics and sledding parties. A simple planner with month and week layouts will help you to arrange and prioritize obligations and events in a way that will lessen frustration.

How a Daily Planner Works

There are three particular areas that are especially helpful in daily planning. A monthly calendar gives a feel for what is ahead. Weekly/daily planning keeps us in step with what is most important for today. A running tasks list will help us stay focused.

A monthly calendar gives a quick overview of what is ahead. Generally these pages are not for detail, but rather for events and appointments. Make an entry for each upcoming event such as church meetings, weddings, school activities, reunions, holidays, and etcetera. This will help you see at a glance what is taking place. This information is helpful for weekly/daily scheduling.

Make it a habit to post every function that affects your family, church and school. Even if you are not involved in the Easter singing at the rest home, you will know the event is taking place. Then you can pray for everyone involved, offer to baby-sit or just be interested in the affairs of your church family.

A weekly layout with writing space for each day will serve as a guide for your week.  I find it helpful to write basic information prior to the week’s arrival. That way I know for what tasks, appointments and events I need to allow time. Usually at the beginning of the week, my weekly layout has many of blank spaces. Then as I go about my daily work, I jot down other tasks as they come to mind. It might be as simple as ‘sew on a button’ or ‘wash bed sheets.’

Be flexible when planning the week’s activities, and always take into consideration the stage of your family. While paper and pencil are essential instruments in daily planning, it is really the eraser that keeps things flexible and flowing as we learn to adjust our goals to fit our lives.

Begin by establishing an early-morning routine to take care of the everyday essentials: dressing, eating breakfast, cleaning up dishes, packing lunches, combing hair and getting children off to school and your husband off to work. Establish a goal-time to have the morning routine and clean-up finished–perhaps by 9:00. Once the basics are done, you can put more into the rest of the day. It may take some time to develop this habit. If you have a new baby or if you are a late riser, you may need to adjust your morning goal time.

To keep from scheduling the day too full, it may be helpful to write down routine tasks.  If laundry is the biggest task on Monday, write it down. Depending on the ages of your children or the size of your family, it may be the main accomplishment for the day. If cleaning is done consistently on Friday, then consistently write it down.

Decide early in the day what you are having for supper. The longer you wait to make this decision, the fewer options you have.  To lessen the choices, I follow this pattern:
Monday we have a casserole
Tuesday we eat meat and potatoes
Wednesday we fare on soup
Thursday we have a casserole again
Friday we enjoy a Mexican or Italian supper
Saturday we fire up the grill

Doubling recipes and putting half the food in the freezer is a like having cash in the savings account!

Besides the daily to-do list, it is helpful to keep a running tasks list. These are projects to be worked at as you have time, like sewing school clothes, organizing your recipe collection or updating baby books.  There are some projects that must be done and others that are not as urgent. If we keep a list of these projects we can more easily decide when to work them into our schedules. Don’t feel defeated if you never get to the end of this list. It is always “running,” catching more as the days go by. Just write the things down and then forget them until you can make time. Occasionally, I decide to not do a project and I cross it off the list. Maybe I’ll move another one to next year. Tasks list may be categorized by one month, by two months or by seasons.

Sometimes I title my tasks list pages: spring, summer, fall and winter. Since each season brings its own unique activities, I make a list of projects that must be done, and some extra jobs I hope to accomplish. Some projects are so big and time-consuming that I lack the courage to tackle them. In addition, it is difficult to find a block of time large enough to start and finish the project. If I break the project into several stages it seems less intimidating and more do-able. If I want to make a comforter I write it like this: sort fabric, cut blocks, sew top, knot comforter.

If I have a tasks list page for each month, I often pencil out what I need to do in the coming months, too.  The monthly tasks list is often affected by events. If it is my turn to host family for Thanksgiving, November will have many jobs related to that event.  If I want to give the house a thorough cleaning in the spring, I choose a month for that job. I write down every room in the house and as each room is completed, I cross it off the list.

The tasks list helps me to stay focused and it’s a fun challenge to juggle my schedule with all the other events that pop up. I transfer the information from the tasks list to the weekly pages. Additionally, I check the month-at-a-glance calendar for upcoming events to comfortably arrange the week’s activities.

As I mentioned before, carefully consider your stage of life when you are setting goals or using a planner. Our youngest child was born on June 25, so for the month of July, I wrote: “take care of baby, enjoy family, and be happy.”  My planner became a place to record Baby’s weight and other tidbits to transfer to a baby book at a later date. In time, we established a new routine and gradually my planner became more detailed.

Written schedules are not laws that can’t be changed, but rather they serve as guide to help you plan what is reasonable. Freely modifying your schedule is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength. It is important to make wise choices that are best just for today.

A planner is a friend that will help you to wisely schedule what is good for you, your husband and your children. Always take into consideration your health, abilities and stage of life. It will be a friend that helps you remember what you need to do and you will be rewarded with a feeling of satisfaction when even the simplest of jobs has been completed.

You can order Sue’s 2013 Daily Planner here!

2013 Daily Planner small

Is the Internet Running Your Life?

By the end of this evening, my inbox will contain at least 100 new emails.  Facebook will have at least that many new notifications and a couple of messages waiting for me.  There might be a party tonight on Twitter and there might be some new recipe or Christmas craft I “need” to try on Pinterest.  My blog might be in need of a new post or there might be an article I’ve been meaning to read sitting in my bookmarks.  Perhaps there is a forum I should catch up on or a blog I should read through.  And that’s just today.

It’s amazing how not too long ago, the internet wasn’t even part of my daily equation.  It was about 13 years ago that the internet actually came to live in my home.  I had email and a forum I liked to visit.  And yes, I spent entirely too much time on the computer, which baffles me.  Maybe I can blame it on dial-up?

at the computer

Over the years, the internet has been everything from a distraction to a much-needed line of communication with my husband who was deployed.  It’s been a fantastic informational resource and a place to connect with others.  However, it does seem to have a strangely addictive quality.

We are afraid of missing something and in the process, we miss our own lives. 

You will not find me making some blanket statement about the internet being evil.  The internet doesn’t control you, you ALLOW it to control you.  And while some people can easily manage the addictive things of this world, there are others who cannot and whose only choice is to walk away, either for a time or for good.

How can you tell if the internet is running your life?

  • You are ignoring your children.
  • You are ignoring your household duties.
  • You check Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest for no good reason.
  • You are obsessed with not missing anything that is going on online.
  • You feel overwhelmed by your email or any other account you might have.

or…

You can just tell you are allowing the internet to control you.

If you feel like the computer is running your life, chances are, it is.

When I started seriously blogging here at Raising Arrows, I knew it was going to take a serious amount of balance.  My husband and I both felt the Lord was leading me into this ministry, but I knew from past experiences, I wasn’t always the best manager of my online time.  I asked God to keep me accountable, no matter what it took.  I can honestly say, in the nearly 3 years I’ve been serious about Raising Arrows, God has never let me down!  Every single time I’ve teetered on the edge of excessiveness, God has reined me back in.

But, I want to be careful here to tell you that where God has me and the balance He has given me, is not for everyone.  I’ve been tempted to look at other mamas and wonder how in the world they manage to juggle their online time and do as much as they do without sacrificing their families, while other mamas look at me and wonder the same thing.  But, here’s where we have to remember not to compare ourselves with others via arbitrary guidelines. (2 Cor 10:12)

And again, if you feel as if the internet is running your life…chances are, it is.  Listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading and find the balance or walk away!

Are you interested in learning more about blogging and time management?  Read my series:
A Christian Mom’s Guide to Blogging

Are you wanting to learn how to manage your daily life in general?  Grab my ebook:

Getting the Help You Need

Read the entire series here!

Many moms feel as though they do everything by themselves and they easily burn out after a long day of barely getting by.  This is especially prevalent when moms are caring for a household of very small children who make messes and need more of mama.

Please, do not try this at home!

Before I go on, let me mention 2 kinds of frustrated mothers who have no place in your home:

The Poor-Me Mom and The Selfish Mom

Feeling sorry for yourself is never the answer and will only bring you to a place of resentment and bitterness.  You must also beware the selfish attitude that feels like you deserve to have all the free time in the world and the fact that you have all these chores to do only serves to take away from all you really want to do.

So, keep yourself in check and read on…

There are 3 major ways for the modern homemaker to get help.  Choosing at least one of these is essential to the homeschool mom because she has more on her plate than your typical stay at home mom.

  1. Help from within the family.
  2. Help from others outside the family.
  3. Help from inanimate objects.

So, let’s start with those nearest you…

Help from within the family

Sometimes all we need is a little boost from our family to get us through the day.  This could be a phone call from the husband that checks in on you, a schedule that requires the children to pitch in with chores and meals, or Grandma coming over once a week to help you catch up.

Sadly, our society has encouraged the disconnection of the family unit, and we all to often become a family of individuals who think of no one but ourselves.  It is imperative we get back to caring for each other within the home, so we can learn to care for others outside our home. It is not wrong to ask for help from your family as long as your motives are not martyrdom or laziness.  Families are meant to function as a whole and there are definitely times when one member of that whole will be weaker and need more from the others.  This is a life lesson!

Help from outside the family

I am going to say something I need you to hear loud and clear…

How can we “one-another” each other
if we never know what is going on in the lives of others?

I know, I know.  None of us want to be the “needy” one in the church, but the very fact that you are afraid of being the needy one tells me you aren’t.  Please, please, please…ask.  Or at the very least, let people know what is going on in your family so they can stand with you in prayer.

Help from inanimate objects

Years ago, I had wiser, more seasoned homeschool mom tell me the gadgets and tools of our era were our modern “servants” and we should use them to their full capacity.  If we need help, this is one very good way to get it.  We should not feel guilty if we use our dryer or use our mixer or use internet tools to help us out.  There is simply no need to be a one-woman show unless you are looking to be a one-woman basket case.

So, tell me…what do you do when you need help?  I hope I’ve given you some ideas or at least the permission to get the help you need when you need it!

This post is part of the Fall 2012 iHN Hopscotch.

Finding Free Time

Read the entire series here!

Hopefully, the past 7 days haven’t left you overwhelmed!  If they have, then perhaps today will give you the refreshment you need.

Rather than say something I have already said, I want to point you to a post I wrote earlier this year when I did the 10 Days of Large Family Homeschooling Series.  It is entitled Caring For Yourself and it revisits The Me Time Myth, my rather infamous article from the Fall 2009 edition of The Old Schoolhouse.

Free time falls into this category of caring for yourself.  Additionally, free time is very much about doing something we WANT to do rather than doing something we NEED to do.

Read Caring For Yourself now.

Now that you’ve read that post, let me guide you along the path to finding free time in your busy homeschooling day.

1.  Write it into your schedule.  This is one of those things that might sound like a no-brainer, but I find more often than not, if I don’t write it in, I don’t do it.  In fact, this week has been a case in point.  I have some sewing I WANT to do.  I thought for sure I could just fit it in wherever; however, I’ve not done any sewing because I didn’t actually write it into my schedule this week.  So, if you want to have some free time, put it in there!

2.  Choose timing wisely.  Is there a time of day when the children do not need you as much?  For me that time of day is around 3 pm.  My children seem to naturally fall into a rhythm of play from 3-4 that rarely requires me.  By 4 pm; however, things start to go a little crazy here, so that would be a terrible time for me to do something I want to do because I would only get frustrated going back and forth between my project and their needs.

3.  Have an ending point.  Never, ever just let yourself go until something stops you because more than likely what will stop you won’t be pleasant.  I liken it to waking up in the morning of your own accord versus waking up in the morning to utter chaos.  Set a timer if need be!  In fact, having an ending point also gives you the ability to tell your children, “in 30 minutes, Mommy will be finished with this and then we can…”  Children respond quite well to set times.

4.  Choose worthy pursuits.  As with everything, choose to use your free time doing things that are God-honoring.  If you are choosing to hide out in your bedroom watching smutty shows on TV during your free time, you need to rethink your priorities.

I hope this helps you get started on finding some time of refreshment in your day.  I’d also encourage you to read a guest post here on Raising Arrows from Anna at Learning Littlebits entitled We Time.  She offers some suggestions on creating this time of refreshment with your family as a whole.

This post is part of the Fall 2012 iHN Hopscotch.