I’ve had many people ask me how I manage to shop with all these kids. That’s one of those questions I almost hate to answer because for the most part, I no longer shop with ALL the kids in tow unless my husband is with me. The last time I had all the kids with me and I was alone shopping was about 4 months ago when we ran in and back out of a local store in order to buy just a couple of items.
It is such a huge orchestrated event to take everyone shopping, I prefer to either do it when Grandma comes to visit, when my husband is home and I can just take a big kid and the baby, or have my husband pick up what is needed for me on his way home from work.
However, through the years there has been one specific rule for shopping days when I would take everyone, starting when I only had two children. {Remember how I adopted a large family mentality long before we were a large family?}
*If you are a “little” or if you prove yourself to be irresponsible, you must have one hand on the cart at all times. Back when I only had two children and my husband was deployed, I required both children to hold onto the cart as we walked the store aisles. If anyone started to stray, I could simply say, “Cart,” and back to the cart they would come. It made my job much easier and kept them much safer.
However, as our family grew, we began to be hazardous walking through the aisles with so many kids hanging off the cart (not to mention, I could hardly push the cart that way!) So, we set up a couple of scenarios…
#1 – Mama slings baby, toddler goes in cart, littles hold onto cart, and olders are allowed to wander away from the cart within reason. (Again, if anyone proves to be irresponsible with their ability to be away from the cart, they lose that privilege.)
#2 – Infant seat goes in cart, toddler rides in extra cart pushed by an older, littles are required to hold onto one of the two carts. (If they act up, they are automatically sent to mama’s cart)
Grocery shopping almost always requires two carts anyway, so the second cart isn’t any big deal.
However, I do find shopping with all the children in tow requires a lot of brain power on my part. It means I have to keep a head count at all times as well as follow my list and keep everyone happy throughout the entire trip. Shopping trips generally take anywhere from 1.5 hrs to 3.5 hrs...so, no easy task.
Shopping also wears me out. I enjoy the feeling of a full pantry, but the getting there makes for a long day that often brings everything else to a halt. That is why I like to shop at night. I’ve found if I shop in the morning, my entire day is shot. If I shop in the afternoon, someone is grumpy for lack of a nap or needing a snack (even though I’ve JUST fed them!)
So, I prefer to go out after Ty gets home and the family is fed. I usually take one big kid with me to push the extra cart and pinch hit with the baby if I am unable to get him down for bed before I head out. This makes for a much faster, saner shopping trip.
I have my grocery list, shopping bags and quarters (for Aldi), my purse, cellphone, and often a soda or Starbucks (my special Shopping Day treat!) in hand. If I have the baby, I also have a diaper bag and sling handy. I usually take my oldest son because he is able to do any heavy lifting I need, but occasionally, I take my oldest daughter just to have some special one on one time with her.
I am sure many of you are thinking, “But, I don’t have the option to shop without the children.” I understand your plight. I did a lot of solo shopping when I only had 4 children and they were all little. I often shopped in the morning and school went by the wayside. I tried to shop only one or two stores so I didn’t wear the children (and myself out too much). And if everyone did well, I usually rewarded them with a drink or ice cream.
But now, I would rather just get creative and make food stretch until I can shop without everyone, rather than loading everyone up and trying to manage a long day like that.
Yes, I am a wimp.
Or rather, I’ve become a homebody…and I’m okay with that.
So, you might have come here looking for brilliant advice on how to shop with a lot of children, and instead got me telling you to stay home and let your husband do the shopping. Yeah, I know he buys stuff you don’t need. Yes, I know he refuses to use your coupons. But, he’s a good guy. Give him a chance.
And if he watches kiddos for you or goes along with you on shopping trips, what a guy! Reward him with some totally frivolous thing you would never buy like that yucky peanut butter mixed with jelly in a jar or the imitation crab he eats right out of the bag. Having that option deserves royal treatment!
And if you are one who doesn’t have these options, I wish I could come over and watch your kiddos for you while you go out and shop. All I can tell you is someday it will be easier. Someday you will have all big kids. Someday they will all stay home or be out of your home and you won’t have anyone but your husband (or one of the grandkids) to sneak off-the-wall items, like a plastic fish that sings Don’t Worry Be Happy, into the cart without your knowledge until you get to the front of the checkout line where you have to embarrassingly tell the clerk you didn’t mean to put that in the cart…it somehow just jumped in there.
Until then, hang in there. Get a coffee, teach them to hang onto the cart, and put on your game face. You are blessed to have so many wonderful little people to cook for!
Posts in this Series:
Have Kids, Will Shop…sort of – this post
Have Kids, Will Eat Out
Clara says
I’m a homebody too, and even though I only have two blessings so far, I’m SUCH a homebody that I usually ask my husband to get the shopping on the way home from work. He’s a good man! If I do take the children shopping, I try to get them involved to make it more fun for them.
Amy says
Clara,
Years ago, I had a friend with many children who would tell me how she never shopped anymore. I thought she was crazy. Now I understand! That’s great your husband is willing and able to shop for you!
Charity says
I just got home from a shopping trip. I only took two of the littles with me (5 1/2 yrs and 4 yrs). My two older kids (16 yrs and 14 yrs) were home with the other 3 littles (7 1/2 yrs, 2 1/2 yrs, and 15 months). Because I am a huge couponer, I try to do my shopping when I don’t have to take all the littles with me. I find it mentally draining trying to keep up with everyone and keeping up with what we are buying. I do use these trips to take at least one of the kiddos with me to have some special time with them.
To help entertain the kids, I have them keep their eyes open for coupons around the grocery store. You will be suprised how many times you walk right past an awesome coupon, but your littles will spot it. I try to keep some kind of snack in my purse or diaper bag to help keep snack time meltdowns to a minimum. I also keep extra paper and pens or crayons for drawing.
Molly says
LOVE IT! As of nearly 4 weeks ago, I am a mother of 4 littles. I found it difficult to take my three shopping. (ages 7,5 &4) But..what choice did I have? Just like you said, I trained them. In a few shopping trips (with rewards!) they were trained to follow me, single file. They loved to play “little ducks” and follow the mama duck, so that’s what we did.
Because of recovery, kids being sick and our baby with RSV…I have not shopped with them other than a Target run. It wasn’t bad, and in a pinch we’ll do it.
Your post today was really encouraging to me! I needed to know I’m not crazy for not wanting to shop with all the kids! I needed to know someone else did 1:1 time with their children at the grocery store. This is a timely post for me as I adjust to one more kiddo. Thanks!
Amy says
You are welcome, Molly! I bet you are a sight walking down the aisle! (and a great testimony to motherhood as well 😉 )
JenT says
I usually have my husband with me when we go shopping. Mostly because with a large van (aka gas-guzzler) it’s more economical to do the shopping on Sunday after church. If I absolutely do have to go with ALL of the children, they pair up behind me and I have to two smaller ones in the cart. If it’s a large trip we have two carts (always two carts with hubby along) and one of the older ones push the second cart, like you said. Either way, it’s always an adventure!!
Rebecca says
Our shopping has changed a lot over the years too. I usually do leave some home know. Since my oldest 2 are 13 and 14, I can leave them with a selection of littler ones (the rest are ages 9, 8, 6, 3, almost 2). It helps a TON to leave some at home.
When I do have everyone with me, I put the 2 year old in the front of the cart, the 3 year old in the basket (she gets out and joins the 6 year old on the end once it gets too full), the 6 year old rides on the end, the 8 and 9 year olds hold onto the side. The older two walk near or run up and down aisles to grab things so I don’t have to push the cart down every aisle or take their own list and own cart to get part of the groceries.
I have taught them the “little ducks” thing too. It helps a lot when you can just say little ducks and everyone on or around the cart lines up straight behind you. It usually gets smiles too which is nice when shopping with a big family that usually gets other types of looks : ).
I will say that having the oldest one or two with their own list and own cart is my favorite way to go. They usually take a little in their cart (I keep all extra littles : ). It can cut our main monthly stock up trip to under an hour! VERY worth it!
Amy says
I hope to soon be to the place where my oldest can shop too! That would be such a help!
Mandy@ ...life's about a dream says
It’s hard shopping with kids in tow! When I can’t go alone, I do many of the things you suggested…wear the baby and the 2 older boys have to hold onto the cart. I agree with what one stated above…shopping with kids is always an adventure! And why is it someone always tells me my hands are full? As if I didn’t know that. LOL
Anita says
Lol Mandy, I get that comment all the time too!!
tamela says
I so enjoy doing errands with my 3 sons~ We walk a bit and then my 10 yr old (special needs child) rides in the buggy~ My 8 yr old picks up items that the 10 yr old throws out along the way~ The 11 yr old helps with check out and loading the van with purchases and siblings~ We do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays mornings and are home by noon~ We shop westend of town one day and eastend of town the other~ Our routine/system has worked great for the past 6 years so until other littles come along we will press forward with this method~
Happy shopping~
Christy says
Thanks Amy for such a real glimpse into your world! I have 3 and I do most of my shopping by myself at night, late at night. I work 3 evenings out of the home, so one of those evenings I choose as my shopping days. It is unbelievably peaceful as there aren’t many shoppers out at 10pm and I know that my children are tucked safe in their beds! However there are some down sides too, like lack of items from good sales and pallets of goods to be put out since that is when the store is restocking shelves, but for me and my family it works GREAT!!
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
I only have two kids so far (though we’re expecting #3 this summer!). I actually LIKE to take them shopping with me! I do probably 90% of the time. Older child (3) must keep her hand on the cart (I started training her with that over the last few months). Younger (19 months) must ride in the cart. When the baby comes, I will wear the baby for the first 6 – 10 months, until s/he wants to “be with the big kids.” Then I will train my then-2.5 YO to put his hand on the cart, too. Hopefully my then-4-year-old’s example will help it along! I really can’t see any other way to manage it all, lol. 🙂
Amy says
Kate,
I used to like it too, but after number 4 it began to feel overwhelming and we looked more like a swarm than a family. lol
Mrs H says
We shop once a month. I do a big grocery list ahead of time with price-matching, coupons, reward cards (anything to save a few bucks). It’s on an excel spreadsheet so it’s calculated to the penny. I take one child for “brawn not brains” and reward them for their work with a special high protein breakfast as we head out. The protein keeps hunger at bay so the helper isn’t asking for all the junk that’s SO not on my list. I do let the helper choose somethings, like what variety of the sale package of vegetables and what flavor of cereal. I do have to remind the helper occasionally that their friends “CanI, Iwant, & PrettyPlease” are left at home.
My hubby stays home to take care of the other children and his mom (who lives with us).
If i do have to run out for more milk at the end of the month and HAVE to take a little(s) with me it’s hand on the cart. I also reward silence with a quarter for a gumball. It’s funny because they can’t talk till we are in the van with seatbelts on- then it’s a chatterbox van. I LOVE IT 🙂
Suanna says
This sounds very similar to what I do. Although lately, with #5 on the way I’ve been trying to go shopping on Saturdays when my husband can watch the kids or we can all go together. Trying to follow my list and make sure I’ve bought everything on it with all 4 kids has become so tedious and gives me a headache. Now I try to not make any big shopping trips without help, but I do still like to take them all with me from time to time as I know that it is a good learning experience for them and me.
Amy says
This post made me smile. My husband INSISTS on doing our shopping on his way from home from work. Even when I try to talk him into letting me take the boys (7,4,1) and do it he always wins out. It makes sense, though, because our store of choice is 30 minutes away and he drives by it on the way home. It really is such a huge blessing that he is so willing to do that. And you are right: given the chance, the man of the house can do a fantastic job! ALMOST just like we would do it ourselves. 😉
Anita says
Wow, I must be a real wimp Amy, because it only took til I was heavily pregnant with number 3 to look for other ways to go shopping!! Happily I discovered that the supermarket had a special deal on- free delivery for a limited time… and that the butcher I like did free delivery if you bought over $50 worth. I had a few fortnights where I did deliveries only and that was great!
Now I still get a meat delivery every month or so and just buy lots of whatever’s on special (our freezer’s ALWAYS full!) and I go shopping for the rest, or try and take hubby with me. He’s a champ!! The only thing that gets really hairy right now is the health food shop… no trollies, just baskets… and how exactly am I supposed to cart around my chunky ten-month-old, my wallet and re-usable bags AND all the things I’m buying?! Haven’t figured that one out yet, although thankfully they are family-friendly and have a little toy box the kids can pull out and play with on the floor, so that deals with the older two 😉
And MOST times they don’t crack each other over the head with the toy trains or “forget” to tell me they need the toilet and leave a puddle on the floor. 🙂
Amy says
Our local health food store has carts, but they are teeny tiny, so I understand what you are saying! And you are not a wimp…I should have figured it out sooner!
TrueFemininity says
Loved this post, Amy. It brought back lots of memories of how my mom handled taking us into grocery stores–and she only had two! Before going in, she would talk to us in the car and make clear how she expected us to behave. She always let us know what the consequences would be for being disobedient too. I hated having to go to bed early, so that one always did it for me. 😉
LizyBeth says
During my Hero’s 1st deployment my kids were 3,1, & newborn- shopping took around 2 hours, at least.
Suddenly, they all grew up (11,9,&8) and now shopping is much easier, but I miss all the constant chatter. 🙂 Thank you for the great post!
Kacie says
This was really encouraging for me! My kids are 26m and 2m and I haven’t taken them to a store yet. Don’t really intend to anytime soon, seeing as it’s cold and it scares me.
So I go to the grocery by myself, or send my husband. It’s just easier that way right now.
But I was feeling sorta bad because i know other moms can do it (even with more children in tow!) but now I’m thinking…this is all about getting through the chores as easily as possible with as few tears as possible. And leaving them home with daddy is a-ok 🙂
Amy says
Yep! Let go of the guilt. 🙂
renee says
I just LOVE your blogsite!!! I am a momma of seven with one in heaven (hey that sort of rhymes!), and I just love them to pieces…but yeah, the grocery store IS a challenge…but there is some comfort in knowing there are others out there JUST LIKE us…and someone who doesn’t think it’s rdiculous to have so many “blessings!” Thank you for your insights and encouragements!! 🙂
Amy says
Welcome, Renee!
Andrea says
Thank you for writing about this, with adjusting to 4 children 5 yrs to 5 weeks this is something I have wondered “how will I ever manage this?” so again a very big thankyou
Jaminthia says
Thank you. I ventured over here from Jamerill’s site. I couldn’t resist reading Emily’s story and sobbing. Thank you. I love this teaching we have four littles- the oldest is four and I am trying to figure out how to get out with all four. I do it so easily with three but that fourth one throws the whole thing out of whack. Thank you for being a Titus 2 woman!