{To read all the posts in this series, click on the She Wears Skirts button.}
When I first began looking into wearing more skirts, I knew all the arguments for and against skirts and dresses being the pinnacle of modesty. However, I didn’t find myself fully convinced of the validity of the arguments. The Scripture references didn’t speak definitively that skirts and dresses are the ONLY “right” choice, and I found myself floundering when it came to giving biblical evidence as to why women should wear skirts and dresses.
As I said in Part 1, for me, it comes down the idea of being set apart and distinctly feminine…NOT a Biblical mandate.
Caroline from The Modest Mom says,
“I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the main reasons I wear skirts is to appear feminine. I am, after all, a woman. It’s not so much to check off my godly living check list, and to fulfill all the scriptures I have found that command me to wear skirts (by the way, they’re hard to find.) Rather, I feel passionately about being a woman in a world where gender lines continue to be blurred, and in many instances, are completely non-existent!”
As I’ve been adding more skirts to my wardrobe, I’ve pondered what being a woman means. God didn’t accidentally create me to be a woman. It wasn’t some random chance I ended up female. Shouldn’t I rejoice in who I am as a woman…rather than hide it?
Caroline shared this Tasha Tudor quote with me:
Why do women want to dress like men when they€™re fortunate enough to be
women? Why lose femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get
more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in
pants and smoking. I€™m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful
creatures. I love them dearly. But I don€™t want to look like one. When
women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error€¦
From here, I want to offer you Caroline’s words because she has spoken so clearly what I want to convey to all of you dear sisters. Read and be blessed:
I don’t do this to be legalistic. I don’t feel fulfilled in my Christian walk because I adorn myself with a skirt every day. This is not something that I throw in all my friends faces and expect them to exemplify in their own lives. Rather, I seek to most importantly show my husband and children a modest wife and mama at home, and teach my children the clear gender lines, as those I hold dear to my heart have blurred the lines, thus wrecking their lives in the process.
Wearing skirts can also be an act of love to our brothers in Christ. When we wear a long skirt, I know the opportunity for our brothers to struggle with wrong thoughts is far less. While men ultimately are responsible for their thoughts, as sisters in Christ we should be willing to aid them in this. A skin tight shirt, and a short skirt (or shorts) will be a stumbling block for some men, and honestly, why wouldn’t it? God designed men to desire women, and when we ladies walk around flaunting ourselves for everyone to see, we do a grave disservice to the men around us, and ourselves. Ladies, let’s not cheapen ourselves by revealing all that we are to the world around us.
Just as we teach our daughters to save themselves for their husbands, we need to keep our bodies for our husbands. That means when we have on a low cut shirt, and bend over, you reveal to all the world what should be kept for your husband alone.
Amy and I will try the best we can to present how to dress modestly, but ultimately it is not about a list of rules.
Isaiah 47 speaks of God’s judgment upon Babylon and Chaldea. As part of the curse upon them He would
“make bare the leg, and uncover the thigh”
In the New Testament God asks the women to
“adorn themselves in modest apparel and wear the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.”
Throughout this series, you will find me laying the greatest amount of emphasis upon the latter half of that last verse. Modest apparel flows out of such a spirit – not the other way around.
It is about true modesty in your heart.
Has the Lord placed on your heart a desire to be feminine and modest? If so, you need to follow that, and how it might look for your family. I don’t believe that we will all come out looking exactly the same. Some might prefer to only wear cotton, others might prefer polyester so as to avoid wrinkles. Some might like a simple cape dress. Others might prefer a long, modern jean skirt.
Do what you feel like the Lord is convicting YOU of, and please don’t look around and cast judgements.
*****
And in that spirit, I {Amy} ask that you prayerfully watch this video sent to me by Jimmie at Jimmie’s Collage. And meet us back here on Wednesday for another installment of She Wears Skirts. The next post will be a practical one where Caroline helps us Get Started!
brought to you by:
Kathy says
Im new to your blog and I’m very excited about your skirts only posts!
Joyfully,
Kathy
Faithful Mama says
Hi there!! Really glad you’re posting this, and most women who are *skirts and dresses only* would agree with this totally I think! I do!! 😀 Now, I must tell you that these words also apply to those of us who cover!! Can we get a *she wears headcoverings*??? lol! 😀 Great post! Thanks!!–S
texasMom says
Yes m’am, I agree 100% with this article and agree that Isaiah speaks in that same verse about “uncover they locks”. God’s definition of nakedness does not change…only our modern American culture changed.~TM
Christi says
I love her words. They are almost verbatim of what I have said to other women who ask me my thoughts on this matter.
Amanda says
I really appreciate this series. I have been wearing dresses for about 6 years now and lately I feel like I have been needing a refresher as to why I chose to dress this way. I’m looking forward to the rest of the series! Thanks so much!
Maman A Droit says
I love skirts, but they seem prohibitive of caring for a toddler. Lately I’ve been loving skinny jeans or leggings with a short dress-seems to provide much more modesty & flexibility for me than any of my skirts! But I’m looking forward on your tips on doing daily tasks in skirts. Do you ever trip? I seem to trip on baby gates a lot when I wear skirts or even loose pajama pants!!
Erin says
I’m so glad that a friend shared this blog with me. My views have changed drastically in the last 10 year about modesty and my role as a wife and mother. I was never a “skirt wearer” growing up. I have been convicted about being set apart in my dress and spirit. I have started to wear skirts, but you know I really have no idea how to do it. I end up feeling ridiculous and silly.
As a mom to 4 boys (praise God!) I have found that wearing skirts helps me to feel like a woman too. It’s easy to lose some of that feminity when you have 4 boys (and a husband) rolling around in the dirt and asking you to play trucks with them.
Michelle @ My Life Through Food says
As someone who has been wearing skirts all the time for a couple of years, I am enjoying reading your posts. I have yet to find anything that I can’t do in my skirts, including nursery work and hiking. Granted, when hiking I added a pair of leggings underneath my ankle length skirt, but that was more due to a worry about what would happen if I fell.
Linda Albert says
We have a Hutterite colony here in Montana. The girls play baseball in ankle length full skirts.
In the days when all women wore long full skirts they knew to raise them just a bit when having to step over something or climb stairs.
Linda
Ember says
Ladies jeans and short skirts can be feminine, though they don’t meet my modesty criteria – although I am way past the age when my flaunted body would be a turn-on!!
But another reason for long full skirts is what Quakers call the Equality Testimony – long skirts give everyone a chance to look beautiful, graceful and womanly. Tight fashion clothes highlight the difference between those with ‘successful’ bodies – slim, toned, shapely – and us lesser mortals.
Little girls long to look like their mothers and older ladies long to hold on to their youth, and disabled ladies or ladies with learning diabilities like to be included in the group. With modest dress / plain dress, they can – with fashion dress, the likelihood is much less.
Modest/Plain dress allows us all to travel together. It’s a vote for sisterhood.
Amy says
That is fascinating! I never would have thought about that aspect of skirts.
Susan McCurdy says
That is an interesting tip. Thanks for sharing those thoughts.
Melanie says
I LOVE that…if I wasn’t convicted before…that sure brought it home! For Sisterhood : ) I just LOVE that! Thank you!
Jessica says
I had never thought of it that way, but it’s so true.
Ember says
:0) Part of the challenge/opportunity of plain/modest dress in the modern world is the transition for thinking ‘me’ to thinking ‘us’.
Danielle says
I never thought of it that way!
Renee S says
Wow! What a wonderful way to look at it! Not only can it help males be less distracted but can also help women be less distracted by comparing themself to other women and in turn thinking they don’t have a good enough body for society’s judgement. (I’ve been a pants wearer for so long the only time my husband has seen me in a dress was our wedding day and about 2 months ago, we’ve been married 6 years)
Mrs. John Jennings, Jr. says
When you mentioned about the disability, well I am often in a wheelchair due to advance arthritis, and I have never caught it in the wheels and find it gives me more dignity when I am stuck in the wheelchair. I have been in and out of dresses over the years due to hubbies will, but have chosen to finally stay in them full time when I heard a brother say, he never gave femininity of his own daughters a thought until his wife went all dresses all the time. He often took his daughters shopping for clothes when his wife was too busy and it never occurred to him to encourage his daughters to buy dresses and nightgowns. But God convicted him after he noticed his wife went full time in dresses. His wive was ever so grateful to him when he came on board. He said rather a man says so or not men do like to see women in dresses more.
My husband has had a hard time with his own mind because I vacillated too much, but when I decided to go full time he seemed to appreciate it. It was hard for him to help me in the wheelchair with a dress and he once complained, but when I explained the dress was my worship to God for creating me as a woman, he seemed to change his opinion on the matter.
I have played games with my children in a dress including football, it is a learned skilled. If I had grown up in dresses like my great aunts it would never be a question about getting over fences to do field work or to feed the animals. One learns how to remain feminine in time doing whatever daily chores we must do, it is learned and it is possible.
Heather Ann says
Oh this is hitting me hard today. I’m not sure I have the confidence in myself or my marriage to do this. But I’m beginning the long haul of praying through it. And I’ve already told my accountability partner my thoughts about this, so we’re set in stone!
Thank you for posting this. Are you going to be addressing confidence issues? I know it seems terribly silly when we’re all Christians who know God’s amazing love for us, but it’s still a serious issue for me.
Thanks again!
Amy says
Confidence, as in looking different than others?
Heather Ann says
more like confidence that I can still feel pretty in something that’s not really tight. And in looking different, but only really because “loose” is seen as kind of dowdy, I know it doesn’t have to be done that way, but it’s seen that way or it’s seen as “old”.
I know there are very pretty ways to dress that are modest and pretty, I just don’t know that I wont feel like a schmuck in them. I guess you are going to be discussing how to do this without looking like a frump. But I’ll just tell you, I’m 28, I’m thin and kind of tall and I have three kinds under three, which means that this is a very welcome break from being super pregnant for three years. and I already get the whole ‘YOU have THREE kids’ because I look young for my age – but I guess I’m just bucking God’s leading me to take one more step toward being set apart and not fitting in anymore.
OK. I was just talking about this with my husband and typing this (while the older two squabbled over play dough and the younger is in my lap 🙂 ) and I told him my fears and whatnot and I’m feeling better about this whole thing.
but, how do you change your woredrobe on a budget? and how do you change it all and not feel like you have nothing to wear because now all you own is modest things and you’re having a bad day and you want the attention?
in writing this I realize I have a long way to go. But I’m listening and trying 🙂
sorry this is so long, I’m just still processing this
Amy says
We are definitely going to address these concerns in the upcoming posts!
Caroline-@The Modest Mom says
Heather-I’m 28 also, and on the thinner side (I can’t say thin after having 4 babies, but thinner!). I understand the struggle to wanting to look attractive. I guess since I have grown up wearing skirts it is just natural for me to find a way to look nice while in a skirt.
I’m looking forward to addressing your questions in the weeks to come. Hopefully there will be some answers for you.
((hugs)) 🙂
Jenn says
heather i am also 28 🙂 n have my second child on the way….you asked how to change a wardrobe with a bugdet? – i rarely if ever buy a brand new skirt 🙂 i watch thrift stores mostly n can pick up some real nice, name brand, reasonably priced (like under 5 bucks) skirts! 🙂 if u sew at all there is a way to transform jeans into lovely femine skirts too! 🙂 God bless you in your desire to be modest and FEMINE! 🙂 -jenn
Andrea says
Lovely post! I have very similar thoughts, and just wrote a bit about it today on my blog…I am going to look around your blog a bit..I am homeschooling mama to a bigger than average family, as well..we have our 7th on the way.
I’ve followed your blog! Have a blessed day.
Margaret says
I love the Tasha Tudor quote, so true.
Been skirts only for years. I love it. It’s not legalistic, it’s not bondage, it’s not “hard”, it’s not uncomfortable. It’s just the best way that I can find to be simultaneously modest, feminine, and well-put-together.
Julie-Anne says
Yay! Thank you for this!
Mary Joy @Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace says
I love wearing things that are feminine and modest. I have been wearing skirts and very modest, loose fitting, feminine pants as well. I have heard a lot about the “long skirts only” but could not find a lot about why that wasn’t legalistic and not grace filled. You have really helped me to better understand A LOT through this article. I am looking forward to the next post as to how to get to being skirts only on a very tight budget when you don’t know how to sew skirts yourself.
I am thinking I will need to find someone to teach me to sew feminine, modest dresses and skirts.
God bless you for sharing this wonderful Gospel filled perspective!!!
Building Home with Him,
Mary Joy
Autumn says
Amy, Thank you so much for posting this. It is truly a message the Lord intended me to hear today. I have two daughters: one 16 months and the youngest just 7 weeks old. Two months post pregnancy is not the time to worry about looking your best (between sleepless nights and cloth diaper filled days, and a farm who has the time lol). But I found myself scrutinizing my appearance because I thought others would be; I thought the way I appeared compared to the trendy, beautiful women at church was that important.
I heard the video sermon you posted on a radio broadcast a few weeks ago. Hearing it again brought me to tears realizing how much time I have spent fretting and trying to look a certain way instead of truly being thankful for the life, family, and, yes, body, that God has blessed me with. I know this doesn’t exactly coincide with the topic of modesty, but I wanted to share all the same. I want my girls to see and understand the difference between the world and the life God wants them to lead and I want my example to be the first place they see that difference.
Thanks again for all you do for and with His Word!!
Amy says
Autumn,
Postpartum is such a difficult time. We want our old selves back immediately and we tend to feel very out of sorts anyway. I am so glad you were blessed by what you read here today! 🙂
Mama Chocolate says
Thanks for posting this!
I have worn skirts almost exclusively since I was…well, walking, I guess! (pants for horse-back riding only!)
My family did it for the same reasons you outlined above…not because we thought it made us holier than ladies who wore pants, but because we all felt and acted more feminine in skirts/dresses.
I have been surprised to learn later that some of our acquaintances assumed we were judging them for wearing pants, just ’cause we wore dresses!
This certainly was not the case, even though we knew very few other families who wore only dresses/skirts!
Now that I have two little girls, I’m even more convinced that I’m sticking with skirts…it’s so hard to find little girls’ outfits that don’t more closely resemble what a hooker would wear!
And there’s almost nothing cuter than a little toddler running around in an adorable dress! <3
Harter says
That is such a great video! Thank you so much for sharing it with us! I’m really enjoying this series. 🙂
Lisa~ says
I am looking forward to reading the rest of this series. I’ve been skirts/dresses only for 18 years and frankly, have never struggled with it. I think my lack of struggle (I have seen a lot of friends pick it up and drop it over the years) is because it was never a straight Scriptural issue for me, but because I felt it honored my womanhood, the men around me and I have found that between the dress and my countenance I have a lot of opportunities in public to share Christ. I have never, ever judged others for making a different decision.
I am still fashionable and stylish. I never did the denim jumper thing (not knocking it, just wasn’t my style). You can easily keep your personal style and wear dresses. It is so easy to shop when you have defined boundaries (I also don’t show my upper arms or cleavage, etc.). Looking forward to seeing what else you both have to say. Lisa~
Amy says
Well said, Lisa!
Kyle Suzanne says
Thanks!
31w/5_LIL'blessings says
I have been reading your blog for about 3 – 4 weeks now. More so for the homeschooling and large family topics (We have 5).
But today was so on point for me. WOW! That was DEEP! I have also struggled with this whole issue of skirt vs. pants just as Amy. Spoke to my husband, had bible studies and even prayed about it. Finally today (in His own special timing) the Lord has blessed me with two sisters in Christ (Amy and Caroline) that were able to water the seed the had been planted within me some time ago.
#1 Yes, I do feel that we can and in many cases are a stumbling block for our brothers. And #2 Yes, I know that the intent/motive of the heart is where modesty starts. But, I was unable to connect the two (physical and spiriual).
WOW! Wednesday can’t come fast enough now. 🙂
Thank You!
Jess says
I first looked at this issue many years ago. When talking to my husband about it he told me three things that were important to him about the way I dress. It is important to him that I dress in an attractive way – he didn’t really want a wife that looked like she wore potato sacks! It was important to him that I covered the special and private parts of my body (of course) and it was important to him that I dressed in a way that was practical for the work I am required to do. All of this I felt I could do in skirts and dresses BUT he also pointed out that he actually likes some of my pants and didn’t really want me to stop wearing them if it wasn’t an issue for me, so I do not wear only skirts. My conviction from the Bible and the requests of my husband have led me to believe that it is important to honor God and my husband by dressing in a way that celebrates my femininity. While I am wearing maternity slacks and a knitted red top today, there is no way either of these garments could be mistaken for “men’s wear” and it all fits my requirements for modesty, femininity and practicality. The biggest challenge for me in the area of dress was learning to dress attractively and in a feminine way. The wife of Proverbs 31 wore rich, beautiful garments and I know too many Christian woman who have been afraid to look attractive for fear of “leading a brother to sin”. We need to remember there is a difference between attractive and immodest. If all skirts and dresses work for you and your family and help you to celebrate your femininity then it is something to celebrate! But I do think each reader needs to evaluate the desire of her husband and what God is calling THEM to do in this area. The line between having skirts and dresses as a celebration of our femininity and wearing skirts and dresses as a legalistic act lies at our motivation. If we are called to this act in celebration we will not be tempted to judge our slacks wearing sisters however if we move to this because we think we should and it is yet another box to tick that makes us “good” it is a trap to legalism.
Heather says
What an interesting topic. I was homeschooled growing up, so I’m quite familiar with those that wear dresses/skirts only. Infact, my mom tried to dress me in dresses/skirts only because she thought I might act more girly that way. Unfortunately, I was still hanging upside down from trees and we quickly reverted back to pants. For me, as a tomboy growing up that was far more modest…
To this day, I still have to be very careful and usually go for more form fitting, higher necked tops (because I don’t stand erect all the time, especially forever stooping down for with my young children) and skirts can still be a challenge.
Surprisingly, my 4.5 year old son started asking me to wear dresses/skirts a few weeks ago. He told me I would be prettier… I have no idea where that came from except we had just studied the middle ages and chivalry. I have a friend who wears mostly skirts/dresses and have been inspired to revisit the idea of incorporating more of those into my wardrobe.
Karla says
I like your point-of-view on skirts… but it’s funny how someone else can feel entirely different about the same thing.
Attending a Christian school, I HAD to wear skirts. And nylons. UGH. Perhaps we shouldn’t care about how we look – but some body types just don’t look good in skirts and dresses. And why shouldn’t we be proud of how we look?
Yeah, if comparing skirts to short shorts, of course the shorts will be more immodest… but from my experience guys just think about “easy access” when a woman is wearing a skirt (as opposed to having her legs covered with a pair of harder-to-get-into pants). And more than once I’ve had my skirt blow up in the wind – yikes!
I’m all for dressing modestly – though small-chested, I am always self-conscious about how much is on display (probably why I struggle with nursing in public, though I’m proud to breastfeed).
Just a few of my thoughts!
Danielle B says
Yep, every time I hear about wear long, ankle length skirts, I think of a comment my husband made to me about easy access w/long skirts! So please, men are going to think impure thoughts w/ANY outfit!
So sorry, as for me and my house, we will wear pants, jeans, shorts(not short short), skirts and dresses. Which are modest to MOST people’s standards. I’m not legalistic when it comes to v neck tops, or strapless dresses, or sleeveless tops.
Stacie says
I love skirts. I don’t wear them in the winter much if I go out, because it is too windy and cold. But there is nothing like a long, flowy skirt in the spring and summer.
I find that men treat me with more respect when they see me in a skirt. The door gets opened for me, traffic will stop if I am on the corner and they will let me walk across the street. It is interesting.
My hubby loves skirts, so I mostly wear them for him. They make me feel feminine and modest. I don’t do it for religious reasons. I do it because it makes me feel like a woman. I’m kind of old-fashioned. I guess I read too many Little House on the Prairie books growing up! LOL!
Brandy @Brandy's Brood says
I didn’t grow up wearing skirts. I grew up a tomboy who got into physical fights with boys older than me.
And yet, I gave birth to a daughter who absolutely LOVES skirts and dresses. ANY time I tell her she’s getting some new clothes, her first question is “any new dresses? Cuz I loooooove dresses, Momma!”
And our youngest? Is learning to love dresses as well.
Me? I’m hesitant. I’ve only ever come across ladies who try to spout Scripture to say, as a Christian woman, I HAVE to wear skirts and dresses. In a “or you’re going to Hell” sort of way. Total turn-off. Makes me want to run in the OPPOSITE direction.
But lately, I’ve considered it more. I’ve notice how I feel when I’m in pants. I go back to the feeling tough … strong … kick anyone’s tail kind of person I used to be. Not quiet, feminine, humble.
I’m looking forward the next installment. I’m not in a position to buy new clothes right now even if I wanted to {daughter has a greater clothes need … plus, I’m shedding weight right now, so would rather wait until I’m losing at a slower pace or at my target weight} … but you are definitely giving me something to think about for when I AM ready to buy myself a whole new wardrobe (what will be needed before too long, PRAISE GOD!)
Lyndsay says
I am so glad you are posting about this! I have been struggling with conviction in this area. We have within the last two years dedicated our lives to following God wherever His will leads. The changes have been amazing! We are so blessed!
We are now quiverfull, homeschooling, and getting ready to be self employed! All because of Him!
I am so exzcited to read your other posts! We have a homestead and I can’t quite picture weeding the garden and chasing chickens in a skirt. Lol also cleaning the bathroom …
I want to show my repect to God with my dress but am not sure how.
Looking forward to seeing more. There is not much info out there on this.
Stephanie says
I rarely leave a comment on your blog, but I always read it! I love this series you have started. I remember you and I having this talk, and glad it has come back up.
If you look in my closet, you will find mostly skirts and dresses. I have pants in there as well, and yes I wear them, but there is nothing that makes me feel as lovely as a dress or skirt. Or as feminine. I dont know that I have necessarily thought about it defining us as women, or as defining gender lines, I am not so smart! I just know what makes me feel beautiful. I love to see my girls in dresses as well! But only if they know how to properly wear one. I will be following this series!
Amy says
Welcome, my dear! 🙂
Emily says
Amy,
I just got around to watching the video that was posted with the post. Wow, good stuff, he made my wanna listen up! Do you happen to know the pastor who was sharing this message. I couldn’t tell anywhere on the video. 🙂
Amy says
I was able to visit the church website, but could not find who the pastor was. sorry.
Heidi says
I thought I have heard this before and I think it could be CJ Mahaney from Sovereign Grace Ministries. However I could be very wrong.
Blessings
Eve says
I like this series! I’ve been following along via e-mail from The Modest Mom.
I do have to say, though I agree with the main message of the video above, I believe that fashion (in some sense of the word) can go along with good works.
It’s like you pointed out…you want other women to know dressing in skirts doesn’t have to be frumpy. And that involves fashion.
All fashion is not bad or wrong. Basically, it means clothing: designing it, making it, advertising it, etc. This can even be done in the home.
When we dress modestly and with femininity, we are, essentially, advertising a modest, feminine fashion! It is a ‘good work’ in and of itself, but is only the start. From there, that way of dressing allows us to be free from getting our good feelings and validation from our dress and instead getting our good feelings by looking for others around us who need help or blessings and then seeking ways to fulfill their prayers and needs.
Keep up the ‘good work’!
Miriam Cacciacarro says
The movie is so convicting!
Thank you for sharing.
Looking forward to more articles about modesty!
Miriam
age:14
P.S. I loved the movie so much that I put it on my family blog
http://www.cacciacarroclan.blogspot.com
Mary says
I read this post a while back and have been thinking about the feminine aspect – which I had never thought about before, but defintely agree with. Then I started thinking about hair…it’s defintely more feminine to wear it down, but I wear mine up almost all the time – except for to go to church (where I still wear it half up sometimes). What are your thoughts on this?
Mary says
previous comment disclaimer, that link at the bottom is not to my blog 🙂
Amy says
We will be discussing hair shortly. 🙂
april says
I am so looking forward to reading your series on skirts. I have been reading and praying about this a great deal lately. I have started adding longer skirts to my closet for several months and wearing them mostly on weekends and around the house. Thanks for sharing your ideas and experiences with us.
Beth says
Amy, I was wondering if you are planning on going back to all skirts and dresses, or if you are just incorporating more of them into your wardrobe (wearing skirts most of the time)? Great series!
Amy says
At this point in time, I’m simply wearing more, but I’ve enjoyed it so much, I’d say about 90% of the time I am in skirts.
Karen says
I have many Modest dresses for sale, I have been dressing Modest for 22 years now, I have many size, Plus size, Extra large, Large, Med, Small, And homemade Girls dresses, Please take a look. My page is on Facebook Working on my website right now, Getting it ready for anyone to order, You can see what I have , And let me know if you see anything you can use….I take PayPal, Or Checks, Money order
Thanks
Karen
NerdMom says
Amy, I agree with the heart of this but I don’t know if I agree with the application… I went through a period (perhaps a very legalistic period) where I was trying to decide about skirts and eating kosher. Needless to say, I eat bacon and wear pants.
But while I believe in modesty, I don’t see where the Bible dictates that? Everyone wore a skirted outfit in Biblical times, including men. So why is that the pinnacle of being a woman?
Amy says
For me, it really comes down to being set apart and different and rejoicing in my womanhood. I do not believe it is a sin to wear pants, but in our society today, skirts and dresses are most definitely women’s domain, so if we are rejoicing in our femininity, skirts would be one way to do that. What I wanted to do with the series was not to condemn, but to help women see that wearing skirts is not drudgery and does not have to look one certain way to be “right.” 🙂
Cindy says
If you are going to promote modesty you might want to check out the ads on your site that show mini skirts and a woman in a bikini top and hula skirt! Thought you might not know they were there! They appeared on the lower right side of the page. A sister.
Amy says
Thank you! I thought I had gotten rid of all the ones that were causing problems. I’ll get on that right now!
Nilka says
i think every woman is free to choose how to wear if its make her happy.
I like wear pants ´cause are confortable and usefull, i can move everywhere or jump if i want with my pants on. I can´t understand why some org. or religions submit women to use skirts when is safer use loose pants. With skirts have to be carefull every step, wind can be your enemy even your own kids i don´t like to live so stress. I use pants daily.Dresses or skirt just someday.
lauren says
this blog is amazing.. i have bin wereing skirts and long dresses since i was 13 years old.. i am now 33…i truly am thankfull for your sight.. and all u do…
i have bin critised my some of my family and my father all who have no faith in mind.. but say since i am a widow ..and have bin looking for a godly husband for some time now.. that i will not find one “with the way i dress” that in my mind is not true… i would only want a man who loves my and my wonderful 2 sons the way i am .. as i am.. a godly women.. trying to do good work…and again thank you.. the man who did the video was inspiring… who is he?
Katie says
I tried it for a while and I did find it to be drudgery and bondage. I also agree with those who say it was less modest. I do not rejoice in getting more attention from men, I want less of it. Wind, kids who crawl at your feet, getting up into high cars/vans, walking up stairs with gaps between the steps, all these are pretty immodest in a skirt. In fact there is a section in the Bible (I believe it’s leviticus but won’t swear to it) where God tells the priests to wear pants under their outfits for modesty in climbing the stairs. Maybe some women who are skirts/dresses only have the right heart about it, but when you talk about how you are MORE modest and MORE feminine than other women, it sounds a bit like pride and judgement to someone like me who cannot stand to wear long skirts for a variety of reasons. I don’t feel I’m not being feminine. I wear lace and ruffles I do not look like a man!
Donna says
Enjoyed this series!
I came across this series about a week after I started wearing skirts. About 2 weeks ago, I started discussing the matter w/ my hubby and told him I felt like this was something God was leading me to do. He’s been supportive, and when I came across this specific post, I had him read it b/c it explained the “why” better than I had been able to. He’s been supportive, but he does think it’s…weird that I’ve all of the sudden made this change. I think he finds it ironic/non-coincidental/whatever that this is following quite closely on the tails of quitting my teaching job and throwing myself into homeschool research (even though I have 2 yrs before our oldest will start). Don’t get the wrong idea. HE made the final call about quitting my job and we are in agreement about homeschool, so that’s not the issue. Anyway, I guess my question is, how did you (or anyone else reading this) feel AFTER making “the switch?” After a few days? A few weeks? Was it like, “Yes! This feels great. Exactly what I’ve been missing all along!” Or did you have any doubts, weird feelings, etc? I sometimes question my decision…thinking about how much I LOVE my hoodies and jeans in the winter. But then I wonder if I’m just being selfish and self-centered. Then I think about my 2 precious girls and I desperately want to teach them how to be feminine and modest and the like, and then I think, “This is what I should do.” Sigh. Comments? Suggestions? Encouragement? Am I crazy?
Donna says
I already commented just above, but reading some other comments has given me some encouragement in what I’ve been feeling. I think the Lord is directing me to demonstrate more femininity and modesty (though I’m pretty modest), and he is giving and increasing a desire in me to be not just a stay-at-home mom, but also a homemaker. That doesn’t necessarily mean I need to wear dresses every hour of every day…especially I spend too much of my time and energy focused on that and not on glorifying God. It clouds my motives. Also, for me, perhaps it isn’t a good thing if it actually detracts from my femininity. I have taken to wearing this quite comfortable and practical, yet completely unflattering, dress around the house. It doesn’t make me look feminine and it does NOTHING for my husband. In that sense, is it a good thing for me to wear a dress just for the sake of wearing a dress?
I think I’m thinking about all of this far too much. Someone offer some Godly wisdom please 🙂
Amy says
Donna,
Greetings! I think the thought process you are working through here is spot on. This isn’t a wear dresses for the sake of wearing dresses discussion…it’s modesty of the heart and a reveling in our God-given femininity.
many blessings,
Amy
Donna says
Just wanted to say that when I was at a restaurant, one day with a group from our church, the cashier said to me… “I can tell you are a Christian!” I asked how, and she said… “By the way you are dressed (in a dress) and who you are with.” That cleared up every question I had in my mind (for me) as to how I would be dressing in the future. I want to be readily identified as a Christian… set apart for Him. I packed up my MANY pairs of pants and dropped them off at a thrift store, and then went shopping in the same WoNdErFuL thrift store, and was able to stock my closet for about $30.00 with enough dresses to wear a different one every day of the week! I frequent the same store and continually refurbish my clothes closet throughout the year! 🙂
Dot says
Wow, that guy is INTENSE! As a Christian homeschooling mother of six I find all this type of discussion quite interesting. I must say though that I don’t agree that you have to wear a dress or skirt to be modest. I love dresses and skirts but I also wear pants and shirts or tops that are very feminine and modest. I certainly haven’t ever been mistaken for a man! I make a point to always be modest and also make sure that my daughters are too. Didn’t biblically they wear ‘dresses’ as that was the culture and time they lived. Didn’t the men also? I think you can still be in the world so to speak, but dressing modestly doesn’t have to be wearing a dress, we should be noticed as a Godly women by our love for God, how we interact/treat/serve others, how we respect and honour our husbands, how we raise our children etc. The people I know that wear only dresses and headscarfs are known by others because they only wear dresses and headscarfs! Isn’t that drawing attention to oneself?? I guess at the end of the day if you feel convicted that it is more feminine and serving and practical to do so then go for it! (Wouldn’t a beautiful woman with an awesome figure be noticed by men no matter what she wore?)
Clarissa Wilson says
Yes, a beautiful woman with a good figure would be noticed by men anyway. Can I be bold and admit that that has been me. I’m not trying to brag, nursing does a lot to add to my figure. What I have noticed is that when I wear skirts the attention is given very respectfully. For instance, a tip of the hat instead of a cat call (which I have received before dressing modestly). I have felt that they themselves have felt inspired to a level of chivalry they may not have had if I had been dresses in pants.
Donna says
I guess another thought that comes to mind is the universal restroom symbols picturing a man (in pants)for the Mens Room, and a woman (in a dress) for the Ladies Room… No matter what language you speak, there is no mistaking, because you KNOW which one is which!
Heather Meier says
Best article I have ever seen on modest dress… I was raised to wear only modest skirts or dresses my whole life and am now passing that onto my girls… I’m so thankful for the values my mom instilled into me at such a young age…! May God bless you greatly for this article.
Virginia Veron says
I am agree, skirts and dresses are much more comfortable for us than pants. It is great to wear them. Make us much more feminine.
Anita says
I actually don’t think that wearing skirts alone makes women more feminine. I have seen many a frumpy, whiskered, tennis shoed, 80’s hairdo skirt wearing woman who doesn’t look very feminine to me…
Hannah says
I am loving this series! I believe in modesty and the reality that skirts are feminine. I wanted to share a great resource with you about this topic from a historical perspective. Rev. Jayme Carter wrote a book entitled, The Problem with Pants. It can be purchased at http://holinesshelps.com/default.aspx
stephanie says
the preacher guy, with his what do your clothes say about you? Not doing much for your image. Why in the name of all that is holy is it any female persons responsibilty to ensure that a male can control himself? Redonkulous!!! I like your blog and your message, but you should REALLY not align yourself with weirdies like that guy. He has problems.
Anita says
I am not an exclusive skirt wearer… but i do dress in a feminine way and it is something that I really appreciate about women here in France. In general women here are clearly WOMEN. They wear dresses, flowy skirts, leggings with lovely tunics, heals, ballet flats, GIRLY feminine clothes. Of course, the standards of modesty are different to mine sometimes, but they are Women, not shemales. It is lovely to see and something that i will miss when we have to return to the US and women are constantly heading to walmart in their jammies, addicted ill fitting eans and oversized t-shirts and tennis shoes. God made me to be a woman and I love to look feminine.
Amy says
Anita,
That is truly fascinating! Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Clarissa Wilson says
Wow. Very well done on this post and video. I am both convicted, and reaffirmed in my views of modesty. I was first introduced to the idea of modesty by my father. I was a grown woman and had been encouraged by my mother to flaunt my beauty in a sensual way from very young (5 years old, younger?). It was hard for me to swallow at first. Then the young man who was courting me reaffirmed what my father was saying.
I was given the book Secret Keeper by Dana Gresh. I soaked it up, and tried to apply it in my own misguided way. My apparel became much less feminine, baggy pants and T-shirts. It has been years since the impact of that book has taken my wardrobe by storm and I have swung back and forth on the pendulum of unfemenine, modest, feminine, modest.
It has been a struggle for me to figure out my “style”. Honestly, I don’t want to stick out in public. However, I find it increasingly difficult because women are usually generally under-groomed, or shall we say over-groomed. I would like to wear more skirts/dresses. As I type this, I am wearing jeans and a sweater. I feel that perhaps, eventually, my wardrobe will completely reflect my desire to be modestly feminine. How long has it taken you two? Do you still have jeans in you dresser for those off days?
P.S. I feel I have come home. Your website is so affirming to my convictions, where it is lacking in my general acquaintance.
Amy says
Clarissa,
Hello! I cannot answer for Caroline, but for myself only…
Yes, I do have jeans in my closet. My husband likes them. 🙂 As you probably read, I “tried” wearing skirts many years ago and was just downright frumpy. However, this time I decided to do my best to really be stylish and avoid the frumpiness. That was nearly a year ago. I am STILL working at it! I think I may finally be getting it, though! 🙂
Many blessings on your journey!
Michele says
I know this article is rather dated, but I am so glad I found it! My 18 year old daughter just did a guest post on my blog on Monday about this very subject! I cannot wait to share your series with her…Thnak you for being bold in your beliefs and convictions!
Cheryl says
Thank you for the post. This is definitely something to think about. I’ve moved to jeans this last decade — love to dress them up with a blouse and jacket and boots in the winter! — or just be comfortable. My husband likes, them, too, and I like to please my husband. Should really think about not tempting other men, though. I don’t have too many skirts in my closet since moving to a more rural area where people where jeans to church! Never thought I had a great figure for skirts with a short torso and larger breasts. Will look into this a bit more after baby #5 is born — really would like some maternity dresses at the moment since current maternity pants rarely stay up be them jeans, slacks or cotton styles! Ridiculous. lol
Clarissa Wilson says
Cheryl,
I have found that 50’s style dresses that button down the front (shirt dress) are great for nursing. If you want a dress that is even more flexible look for a shirt dress with a high waist and full skirt. This kind of dress can help accomodate a growing pregnant tummy and be used for postpardum and nursing. These vintage style dresses can be found on ebay. I feel that they can be flattering to many different shapes of women, and even my short frame. I usually feel the most comfortable in dresses that are about 41 inches long. There are also a lot of vintage dress patterns that you could use if you are in to sewing.
dinah says
I’ve been enjoying a website called ‘eshakti.com’; it offers dresses that are modest, and oh, so feminine. Demure, attractive, and beautiful.
Their prices are good compared to other dress prices, I find.
Aliona says
I absolutely loved this article! Well done and well said! It was an uplifting YouTube video ( I was wondering the name of the video, as I want to pass it on to my friends and sisters in Christ). God bless!!!!
Wendy says
I actually clicked on this after I went to your page to read about Emily. In January, my daughter Sophia (15 mths) went to heaven. So I am curious to hear other stories of parents whose children have died. God has used Sophia’s life to touch my family. We are learning to lean on Him more & more. I sense big changes around here. 🙂
I was curious about the skirts link. I really enjoyed this message. I do believe in dressing modestly, but this message put scripture to it & the wearing skirts is a new concept for me. Thank you for this post. I have a teenage boy & a 5 year old girl. So this can be applied in so many ways. I want to share this with so many others.
Stephanie says
I have found this article and the video quite helpful and convicting. I have visited church fellowships on the legalistic side where all the women wore dresses. I have felt out of place. I have also seen little girls in clothing sizes too big just to fit the dress/skirt mold. Those experiences leave me a little fearful of wanting to totally convert to wearing skirts all the time. I try to dress modestly in my clothing but mostly wear pants especially at home. It is easier for me to chase children and catch chickens, dogs, etc. However, I really come awayfrom this article with a few thoughts like whatever I wear that I check my motives. I need to check my heart and “save myself” for my husband.I need to desire only God’s and my husband’s approval. Also, I can incorporate more skirts for myself and my girls. It celebrates our femininity. A few struggles: It is hard to find long skirts for my girls locally and within a certain budget. I also struggle with my little girls who like to pull up their skirts and/or play while in a skirt. I end up making them wear pants under them so then they rather be in pants too. I also do not tolerate cold well. I get chills very easily. Pants keep me warmer. I even have to wear long-john things under pants in the winter to keep warm, so I definitely have a hard time in the colder months being in skirts. Also, it has not been easy to keep clothing that fits when my body changes with the child-bearing cycle. When I nurse I can not use dresses so whether it is pants or skirts, my waist is always changing. Lastly, my husband struggles so much with his eyes. He tells me I am very beautiful but he still struggles. It is sometimes hard to be out with him, dressed down and all around women are dressed in less. Sometimes I struggle with dressing a little less modest to keep him looking at me in public. I don’t know that that is the solution because all men will then be looking at me too. It is just a major struggle. My husband, does work on his eyes. He meditates on scriptures but I know it is a struggle especially since he works at a college and there are very many beautiful, young, immodestly dressed girls, not to mention co-workers. Still I have put this area in prayer and will try to pursue a more modest lifestyle than I have currently been doing. THANKS!
Jenn says
I feel so blessed to have found your blog. We share so many of the same beliefs and I am new to religion. I have always known about God but I hadn’t grown up in a church or anything. My grandma passed away about 2 yrs ago and when she passed away I felt an over whelming need to find God. I have since found a church and have been reading the bible more. My grandma was an Old Regular Baptist and she believed (well her church did and so she followed the rules) women wore skirts and didn’t cut their hair. While reading the bible I have found reasons as to why they believe this way. I think that eventually I will also be one that will mostly wear skirts (although it isn’t a rule in my church). I love reading your thoughts, opinions, and reasoning, as well as, your biblical references.
jules says
i love that you said that whole thing about how you are comfortable about what god gave you. thats how i think. that you shouldnt hide yourself for god, that real modesty is being happy to share what you have! (that sounded too over the top) but you know what i mean!
Kim says
I am pretty new to the only wearing skirts and dresses life style. It’s been about 6-9 months but I’ve definitely had a few days of sweats and yoga pants. I just had my 1st baby girl and I’ve recently started thinking about dressing her as she gets older. I have 4 boys already and this never really played a part in my thoughts. Now it is so different with a girl. At what age do you put them in all dresses and skirts. Right now she is only a couple of months old and spends most of her days in comfy sleepers. Since I’m new to being a mother to a beautiful daughter, I need help 🙂 How do you dress a baby and toddler for modesty, or at what age do you transition?
Thank you
Tracy says
The more I’m on your site and cruising around, the more I feel the blessing of God through this site – you are truly a blessing. Thank you!
Amy says
Very good question, Samantha. I would take this question to your husband. He needs to know that you feel you would be setting a double standard and you need to understand his heart on the matter.
Anna says
I appreciate that this addresses heart motivation and seeks to separate from any legalistic aspect of skirt-wearing. I am fascinated by this, as it seems there is a branch of Christian culture that is marked by several things, including wearing long skirts only. Dress is very much cultural, and has to do with where you live and the time you live in. Our dress does convey a message and we must consider that. I would propose though that a group of Christians that are long-skirt wearing only in the USA in this time period does not have the same kind of witness as one that dresses modestly but not in a way that stands out so completely. I am afraid that it causes a barrier that has nothing to do with the Gospel, sending a message of strangeness that is not necessary! We are certainly called to be radically different than our culture and are joyfully strange in many ways, but when we add on things that are not biblical to that mandate we lose our effectiveness as a witness in our culture, which is in such desperate need of Christ! I am a missionary in Asia and I have to consider my witness in how I dress – not just modesty which is a biblical imperative but in being a witness that makes sense to them. I learn their language but don’t use foul words. If wearing pants is sinful and this can be demonstrated by Scripture then of course we should not do it! But if the question is modesty and femininity then the interpretation of that is absolutely cultural and needs to be weighed with our ability to convey Christ without unnecessary hindrance to those around us!
I know that this post is discussing wearing skirts because you personally like them and feel more feminine/modest in them, but it seems to me that because there is a strong skirts only Christian culture it is challenging to have a true discussion about how to be feminine, modest, and an effective witness in our culture without feeling the need to pick a side. There should not be a struggle here to go skirts only or not, as if femininity and modesty = skirts only, there should not be two lifestyle choices (all skirts or not) in this discussion or we are moving out of heart and biblical principle and into a non-scriptural dichotomy. I feel that some of the comments people made about their struggles to change their lifestyle in this sadly show that they are afraid of not knowing how to please Father in their dress unless they pick one camp.
Amy says
Very good thoughts to ponder here, Anna. Thank you so much for chiming in. I appreciate what you are saying and agree wholeheartedly that adding to Scripture is not appropriate in any circumstance.
Diana says
I love your blog and this post is great. I wear skirts all the time for years and its great to hear others do too. I feel encouraged and I have the same thoughts about it as you do. I am often assumed to be a checklist for wearing my skirts and misjudged. Thank you for your post and your encouragement. Keep writing!
Mrs. John Jennings, Jr. says
For those of us who have a condition like the “boy in the bubble”, we cannot buy second hand clothes and even new ones must be laundered several times before we can wear them. For years God had impressed upon me to be more feminine. I was raised on a farm with 4 older brothers and sense it was a college farm a lot of male students from the university. After my parents divorced I was raised by an aunt who was a feminist. By the time came for me to embrace God’s will to be a Biblical woman my health had declined due to a fire. But God knew my heart’s desire to go into dresses. Little by little God provided the finances to do so, it was hard to be patient and I am still waiting on nightgowns for my daughter and I, but God is faithful to bring about the change in due time especially when finances are tight. Like most Christian families we are a one income family that exist just above poverty. Yet God is good and full of mercy. We contacted some folks who make dresses and told them of our problems and they provided new dresses at half the cost as a way to bless God and us. Sometimes you have to rely on mercy and ask a local church for help, especially one that is all in dresses, like the Amish, Mennonites, or the Apostolic Christians or Quakers, etc. We see them in the local Wal-mart and they are very understanding about the desire to be in dresses and some are willing to help. Pray and ask God for favor, if it is His will and your hubby does not mind, it will happen.
D says
I love this post !! I grew up pretty much always in skirts by my choice but when I moved to a Mennonite community my family started saying that I was mocking them. In all honesty skirts/dresses are very modest and of course only if they are below the knee.. The bible does say for women to not wear things croched( pants) and to not show bearness ( above the knee) so for that I feel happy to be able to honor The Lord in my dressing . And also I get the chance to teach my 4 boys about modesty and they all have different opinions on how they want their wives to dress some want all skirts and one doesn’t care but would like mostly skirt lol. I also have the opportunity to raise my 2 girls to love dresses /skirts and to only wear pants if we are on daddy’s four wheeler or snowmobile . I feel we ( the world in general) has became a lot like sodom and gamorah and we have really taken women an tere looks to an extreme . I use to model while a teen and as a young christian at that time I didn’t realize the image it gave ( though it was pretty modest ) I grew to realize that The Lord didn’t like it and that he loved me as plain as He made me , I didn’t have to wear makeup and earring and the top style clothes to make The Lord love me .. He loves us when we are full of joy and natuarl beauty and modest in our dressing ..
Brittany says
I’m glad I stumbled upon yout post! I’ve recently been convicted of dressing more modestly and wearing more skirts. My fiancee grew up Amish, so he isn’t foreign to the idea of skirts only. He doesn’t think that I have to unless I want to. He also doesn’t think I have to cover, allthough I’ve been in prayer about this also. I want to please the Lord so we’ll see what happens. The video won’t play 🙁 Thanks for posting this, it has blessed my heart 🙂
Courtney says
I hope you don’t mind, but I linked you to my blog post. I love this article, and you explain it better than I could. 🙂
Donna says
What happened to your video? When I clicked on it, it said “this video has been removed.”
Amy says
Hmmm….I don’t know! I’ll look into it!
K. Nelson says
I am an older woman, in an extreme northern climate. We get several feet of snow for several months of the year. Any ideas on how to keep warm and dry in a skirt during the winter? Outdoor chores in a long, wet skirt are very difficult for me.
Amy says
Deborah & Co. has fleece-lined leggings that are great for under skirts. Pair those with some solid work boots and change into something dry as soon as you get in from chores.
Donna says
I have wore skirts my entire life.My momma brought me up that way. I strayed away from it for a year maybe less, But i distinctively heard the Lord tell me not to wear pants, make-up or Jewelry. and i don’t. i heard this when i was in my twenties, now i’m in my fifties and i am still putting the Lord first. I raised my daughters the same way. My pastor passed away in 2009, His wife tried running the church afterwards, we held it together for about 6 years, but we were dying, so Iv’e been going to another church now for three years, and recently the Pastor has started bashing my dress wearing from the pulpit. He is a man of God, but has a lot of Praying and learning to do.It’s happened three times now. I stopped going to night church for three weeks, then i felt compelled to go last night, and right towards the end of his sermon, he said it again. Any Advise? There aren’t ant holiness churches around here anywhere.
Ariel says
Thank you so much for this post, it truly touched my heart more than words could say!!!
Karen Marie says
Thank you for articulating my thoughts on this matter of wearing dresses and skirts full-time. It’s also nice to look and feel feminine in skirts.
Daphene Brown says
For me,wearing skirts was what I felt I should do. So,I packed up all pants and gave them away.
I had $128 left from my check to purchase skirts,dresses,etc. I was able to do so.
Not judging anyone else. I felt very strongly that this was what I had to do.
Sincerely,
Daphene