The Lord has been working on me. Opening the book Home Comforts for the first time only proved to convict me even more. It solidified what I already knew to be the truth…
I no longer found beauty and meaning in my homekeeping.
I don’t know where I lost the joy that comes from the actual task of keeping a home, but I do know I had become so bent on finding the most efficient and shortcut way to doing everything so that I could get on with my real life that I had begun to see my home keeping as a drudgery that must be completed (or not) so that I could get to the things I really enjoyed.
And in the process, my view of my role as a keeper of the home had become one of entitlement and pity-parties. Why doesn’t someone help me? Why do I have to cook 3 meals a day? Why is this toddler out to get me? How come I have to get out of bed every morning? Where’s MY vacation?
As Christian wives and mothers, our homes are not just hotels and restaurants. They are living, breathing expressions of the beauty of God’s grace and mercy, creativity and love.
But I wasn’t finding joy in the expression. I cut corners until there were no corners left to cut and my home stopped feeling alive because I stopped finding meaning in the keeping of it.
I’ve always counseled people to find the most efficient way to do something, and this in and of itself isn’t wrong. But my motives didn’t line up with Scripture. When you look at the verses on homekeeping and women who were at home, you do not see a precedent for them surviving the awful drudgery of being a housewife so they could go out and do something fun. You see them identifying themselves with their homes and families and daily chores. The Proverbs 31 woman’s children didn’t rise up and call her blessed because she was avoiding her daily routine. They called her blessed because she lived her life as a homekeeper with abundance!
She embraced the beauty of her role in expressing God’s love to the world.
And so, dear readers, I will be leaving Large Family Organization behind to embrace where my heart really is. It’s not that organizing the large family isn’t part of my vision. In fact, organization goes hand in hand with homekeeping, but I need to move in a different direction, widen my vision, find my way back.
I will continue to feature the Large Family Organization tips all of you sent in, but I will no longer be hosting that link up. Instead, I will be hosting a link up that my husband and I decided was much more in line with what I want Raising Arrows to be and what I feel the Lord has for me here. That link up is:
This link up will focus on finding joy in homekeeping, creating a welcoming atmosphere, and living an abundant life as a woman of God! The only guidelines for linking up is that you link up a post that is relevant and encouraging to homemakers (yes, please be encouraging!) and you link back in some form (either the button code in the sidebar or by simply linking to RaisingArrows.net).
Next Sunday night, this new link up will go live and run all day on Monday to get our creative homemaking juices flowing for the brand new week ahead of us! I pray you will find encouragement and blessing from the Welcome Home Link Up as we bring back the joy to our homes!
Let’s start off this new year with a heart for our homes!
Kathy Sykes says
This is cool and I am glad to see that you recognize where your focus needs to be. We are all homemakers, although I work a full-time job outside the home. So, of course I struggle with creating a pleasent atmosphere when I can barely find time to clean like I want to. But putting scripture behind it can make a world of difference.
Cindy G says
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ve been feeling a little lost in this same area! I look forward to this.
tascha.piatt says
thank you for sharing your heart! I look forward to this particular type of link-up. finding joy in the ‘mundane’ is a personal goal of my own. every. day. 🙂
Jana Brown says
I am SO excited! I am passionate about serving my family at home, but haven’t been very joyful about it. I hope to join the link up!
Jennifer says
I love, and very much need, this idea. Growing up, I did “chores.” And they were exactly that, a chore to do. So I never learned to love homemaking. I am starting the 31 days to clean challenge today. This will be my 3rd time. The last 2 times I have focused on the “chore” part and I have fizzled out very quickly. So this time I am choosing to focus on the heart part, and hopefully find some joy in caring for my family.
Amy says
Ahhh, the word “chores.” Kind of takes the joy out of it, huh? I really believe focusing on the heart of the matter is truly the key!
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
I’ve been working at this for a few weeks now. What I do isn’t after I finish my work, it’s my work! I’ve found peace in organizing things better and streamlining them, which has helped me to more patiently train my children to help, without (much) yelling or frustration. I read an article recently that literally called housework “drudgery” and I found that upsetting — we shouldn’t be telling people that’s the case! We should learn to find joy in what we do. Just because the world doesn’t value it doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. So, I think this will be good. 🙂
Amy says
Our entire society has come to see housework as drudgery and tells all our stay at home moms that. Why in the world would anyone want to live in “drudgery” all day long?! I’m hoping to really bring back the joy to homemaking…for myself and others. 🙂
Michelle says
I look forward to this! That is where my heart needs to be too! Thank you, Amy and have a happy and blessed 2012!
Rashel says
Thank you for this post. I find myself feeling the same way lately, I’ve been looking at housekeeping as a chore. I’ve lost my joy in it and I look for the simplest, fastest way to get it done instead of doing it unto the Lord. Thank you for this reminder, this encouragement and I look forward to the new link up.
Blessings,
Rashel
Sandi says
I hear you. I am struggling with this same thing. I tend to be far more efficient then anything else. Though organization makes it easier to live free and full…it in itself is not the most important thing, nor is it always the best for relationships….which is what I am learning. In growing in this I have let some things slide. I am working on finding the balance in not being so scheduled that I loose my joy and not throwing everything to the wind and getting nothing done. I have been living in the wind for a while to break out of the efficent mode but the middle is a much better place. Looking forward to this.
Amy says
Efficient is good, but I took it too far. So, yes…I’m looking for balance too! 🙂
Ralene B says
As a woman who struggles with finding the joy in keeping my home, I def look forward to this new link up.
Suanna says
I’ll be looking forward to your Welcome home posts.
Justine says
Looking forward to this as I need to get back to it, too. Thank you!
MamaLaundry says
Home Comforts is by far one of my favorite books of all time! I love her her perspective on keeping home and the joy it can bring if your heart is in the right place.
I need to re-read parts of my worn copy because my heart has definitely not been in keeping my home lately. I feel so sabotaged…and out of energy to keep up. I’m always up to speed in the laundry department, but the rest of my home? Ouch. Not pretty.
I can’t wait to read the words of wisdom you offer! I will eagerly await Mondays!
Amy says
I’m so glad to hear you’ll be joining me – and I thought of you several times while reading through that book! 😉
Nony (A Slob Comes Clean) says
This . . . is a beautiful post. Very thought provoking, and I’ll be contemplating something to write so I can link up!
Amy says
It’s been interesting to contemplate what I’ve come to believe about homekeeping. I would love to have you here!
jetzmama says
I can identify! So thankful for you and your husband listening to to the Lord’s direction and walking in obedience. Looking forward to renewal together…
sue mitchell says
Thank you, Amy! I don’t have a blog so I can’t link up to you. But I look forward to reading your perspective and other’s who do have blogs. My heart has been feelinge exactly the same way – thanks for doing this!
Ticia says
I needed that, thanks for sharing.
Stef Layton says
oh thank you. this is my heart right now – and everyone else is blogging about the pretty and I’m wondering what’s wrong with me.
I can’t wait for these posts & this link up!
Amy says
I am so glad to hear you say that! I always question myself when I put myself out there like that, but I know I’m not the only one and I know this is truly the heart of God. So, here I am. So glad you’ll be joining me!
Michelle @ Liturgical Time says
I think this is a marvelous idea, and just the thing I am looking for, myself, this year. Thank you for this!
(I went to add the button for the new link-up on my blog hops page, and blogger rejected it, saying that it wasn’t “closed”. I added a / before the > at the end, and it fixed it, but I thought I would let you know.
Peace of Christ, and best wishes for your new direction!
~Michelle
Amy says
Thanks for letting me know, Michelle! I fixed it…I think! lol
Tiffany says
I am so excited for this new link-up. I think we all need more encouragement in our roll of homemakers. It’s a lot more fun to focus on the positive aspects! I look forward to the new link up as well as continuing to following with you in your role as homemaker. Best wishes for the new year!
Jessie says
I feel the same. I want to make my home atmosphere one that is inviting and full of peace and joy, not stress and irritation. I am so tired of “drudgery”. I want to find a system where I can be more effiicient. I see my lack of oranization and planning as a huge source to my stress. Thank you for your blog. I’ve only visited a few times so far but each time I have been encouraged and blessed. I’m looking forward to this new direction in fulfilling our roles as keepers of the home. God bless you.
Bambi @ In the Nursery of the Nation says
I so appreciate your honesty, Amy! I’m putting “Home Comforts” on my book list for this year. I’ve never read it! And I look forward to linking up next week 🙂
Amy says
Bambi – It is not at all what I expected, but I am so glad I got it. It’s a bit daunting, but the Intro had me hooked! 😉 So glad you’ll be linking up next week!
Roan says
Amy, Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to hear what you said. I just put the book, Home Comforts, in my Amazon cart! I struggle with this. I get caught up in doing the same tasks over and over and the hopelessness of having to do it all over again tomorrow! Years ago, when my older children were little, I had more joy in my homemaking. As I gave birth to more children (5 in all now), and I began homeschooling them all, my focus shifted to efficiency, charts, checklists, etc. I have lost my joy in homemaking, and on some days in homeschooling. I am worn out! In fact, we have not begun school again after Christmas break even though I scheduled it for Jan. 2, because I am just burned out. I need to start tomorrow! I often get that feeling of “when is my vacation?” And I am not talking about going to Disneyworld! That is not a vacation. When is my day off? That is a question I ask myself from time to time, and I am ashamed to admit that. Selfishness!
I need to relearn the joy of homemaking and mothering, and I will be joining you and your readers to learn!
Thanks so much!
Amy says
You are not alone!
Christy says
“And in the process, my view of my role as a keeper of the home had become one of entitlement and pity-parties. Why doesn’t someone help me? Why do I have to cook 3 meals a day? Why is this toddler out to get me? How come I have to get out of bed every morning? Where’s MY vacation?”
I can totally identify with that. After baby #5, my dh’s return from deployment, and moving into a new house, I crashed. It started with some mild PPD, then I experienced complete burn-out. I began to feel like what I did at home didn’t really matter anyway, so I just did the minimum and let a lot of things slide. It’s been almost two years and I’m still trying to undo the damage and get my home and family back on track.
I look forward to your new link-up!
Amy says
Looking forward to having you! 🙂