I never knew Anna, yet her life and her death have impacted my life beyond words.
In 2007 and 2008 as we struggled through surgery after surgery with our little girl, Emily, Anna’s parents, Kyle and Lynnette Kraft, walked beside us, recounting their own numerous hospital stays with Anna. They brought us food and comfort. They offered respite and normalcy in a sterile world. We sang and laughed and lived the best we could.
The morning Emily passed away, I dialed Lynnette’s number through tears and raw emotion. I will never forget her scream on the other end of the line as she grieved for us as only a mother who knows exactly how painful it is to lose a child can.
It was Kyle and Lynnette who drove us home that bitter February day. It was Kyle and Lynnette who gave voice to what we needed to plan a funeral, to plan a life without our precious daughter.
It was Anna who taught them how to minister to us.
But we are not the only ones Kyle and Lynnette have ministered to. There are countless others, including the 911 dispatcher who took their call the night their daughter died. He Heard Hannah is that story.
As I read Lynnette’s book, I found myself praising God that He can take the pain and sorrow of death and bring forth new life. I found myself renewed as a mother. And I wondered…how would God take my own pain and use it to His glory?
Many of you know Lynnette from her blog or from Emily’s Story, but I wanted to do something I had never done before…have her speak to all of you here at Raising Arrows. I want you to hear firsthand from the woman who was the very hands and feet of Christ four years ago. I wanted you to hear her message of hope.
**********
Amy: As a blogger who writes about what it is like to lose a child, I often hear moms say, “I could never survive what you’ve gone through.” What thoughts could you share with those mothers who fear what you have lived through?
Lynnette: I have been told many times, €œYou are so strong! I could never make it through that sort of loss.€ I€™ll be honest it€™s very difficult to provide a verbal response to that sort of statement. What I found myself thinking was You haven€™t see me when I€™m by myself. I can€™t go through something like this either.
I remember watching Oprah when my first child was only a baby. It was a show about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I remember thinking I could NEVER go through something like that! In fact, just watching the show created a sort of looming fear.
The thing is, nobody can go through tragedy and heartache in their mind alone – in a sort of alternate reality. If you are in that place of suffering, you simply have no choice. You go into survival mode and you look for a safe way through it.
In my case, the strength found for that healing came through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Amy: How has writing helped you heal?
Lynnette: I never considered myself anything other than a hobby writer, yet when I was going through the pains of loss I found myself journaling to cope. I wrote down irrational emotions, and desperate prayers and also penned scriptures that provided me with hope.
I believe my instinctive desire to write came from my desperate need to hope and heal€¦ but eventually that blossomed into a desire to share the miraculous result of that journey €“ my victory!
God has done overwhelmingly big things in my heart and life. I don€™t dare keep them to myself! Psalms 96:3 €œDeclare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all the peoples.€
Amy: What advice do you have to women who have friends dealing with the loss of a child?
Lynnette: How can you tenderly touch the life of your friend through her pain?
Love on. Pray for. Touch gently. A mother who has lost a child is a tender and fragile woman.
- She needs words of kindness: €œI love you.€ €œI€™m praying for you.€
- She needs to hear you say her child€™s name. Don€™t be afraid.
- She needs tender, physical touch (the amount a person needs depends on the person, but all mommies who have lost a child, need it – because they are missing the physical touch of their child).
- She needs you to ask her permission. Don€™t take liberties when it comes to her child. (Such as removing her child€™s belongings or removing her child€™s name from something like a directory.)
- Don€™t offer too much counsel unless you€™ve been there and know the road well. *Scriptures that are safe and helpful to share are ones of hope and encouragement.
- Do whatever your friend needs you to do. Needs will vary based on individual circumstances. Observe, do and assign tasks to others. Just meet her needs (including the needs of her family) until she can do it herself.
Amy: How has the path you have walked shaped who you are today as a mother, as a wife, as a friend?
Lynnette: My journey has changed me. I can€™t even begin to tell you all of the ways. It was as if I was destined to be the person I am now, but never could have made my way without the heartaches. I am not bitter in any way. I love God more. I am more devoted to His service. I love people with more fervor. God has used heartache to change me for the better in every way. Hallelujah!
Amy: What is your vision for He Heard Hannah?
Lynnette: My vision came quickly €“ and is what inspired me to write this book.
I want He Heard Hannah to remind Christians that God is always at work €“ even when we aren€™t aware! I want Christians to get excited about their faith! I want Christians to search for the hidden things of God.
I want people who don€™t know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior to see hope for themselves. I want them discover, as Courtney did, €œThe God of the Kraft family€ – a faithful and true God. Courtney€™s transformation is for anyone and everyone willing to open their heart and mind to Jesus. Sharing redeeming Love and true Hope is the greatest privilege of my life.
**********
My dear readers, here is your opportunity to own a copy of He Heard Hannah by Lynnette Kraft! You will be blessed!
{Email readers, please click over to the post to enter the giveaway.}
a Rafflecopter giveaway
MaryEllen says
I’ve never heard of this book before, but it sounds like an amazing resource for those who are hurting and those will come in contact with hurting ones.
Deanna says
This looks like a wonderful book to include in our church library.
Angela V says
Thank you for sharing this.
People, especially women, I think, need to know what not to do sometimes.
Don’t give too much council unless you have walked the same road… and even then realize that they are not in your exact situation. How much added grief could we spare our sisters if we stopped trying to fix everything, offering empty comments and then expecting it to just be ‘all better’.
At the same time, that she needs words of comfort are so true, in a variety of settings. I have been blessed many times by an unexpected ‘I/we are praying for you’. You don’t know her circumstance, but God does. Tell her that you have been carrying her to Him.
Michele says
May God bless you both as you help others heal! Looking forward to reading this book!
Ava Kinsey says
This was an excellent post that many will find helpful.
Erica says
I could use this encouragement through suffering right now very much.
Melissa Goodfellow says
Hi, I’d love to have this book to pass on to a fellow homeschool family that just lost 3 of their 8 children in a house fire. The mom is still recovering from burns and smoke inhalation from trying to save those precious lives. I’m sure this would be a help to her. Love your blog! Just found it a few days ago.
Valerie says
I can relate to the “Oh, you’re so strong” and “I could never hold it together like you’re doing” sort of comments. The Lord sustains you through the path He lays before you…and He’s the one who holds you up…like when taking the next breath seems impossible. I so very much look forward to getting to know Lynnette and her family! And I can also relate to the ministering, for as Lynnette is to Amy so was Amy to Valerie…that two hour phone call will never be forgotten…Praising God for His perfect timing and for giving you the perfect words.
Erica says
My only child is adopted and I admit that the thought of losing him is an especially acute fear of mine. Thanks for connecting us with this incredible woman and the amazing story. I can’t wait to read it.
Brita says
Our family is preparing to go on the mission field. While the possibility of losing a child is a reality no matter where we are, it is something that has been in my thoughts and prayers a lot lately. This book sounds like a wonderful resource!
Allison says
Losing my child is a big fear of mine. I would like to read this book.
Teresa says
A wonderful resource to be able to know what to do better in situations is always something I love to read. I have found that things I have said in the past, when I am in a simular situation I now wish I would have worded differently. I don’t think it takes doing through the same situation to help another, but know of others that have made it can be a great help.
Andi says
sounds like a great book, I can’t wait to read it.
Christal says
My heart goes out to families that have had to experience this. It sounds like an awesome book!
Arletta says
This looks like an amazing book!
Ashley says
This book sounds like such a wonderful spiritual account of someones life. I would love to have the chance to read it!
Stacy says
I’d love to give this book to my aunt whose dear friend lost her little boy last year.
Rebecca says
Sounds like a wonderful book!
Carla B says
I can’t wait to read your new book Lynnette! I enjoy both your blogs. I very much appreciate your families , and your courage to share your lives with others.
Linda says
Amy…thank you for this interview! You are a good friend to our daughter and she loves you so much in Christ. You are kindred spirits and you both know the pain of loss…and the victory in Jesus!
God Bless You
Linda
Amy says
Thank you, Linda. 🙂
Jen G ~ Gricefully Homeschooling says
Thanks for the giveaway! This looks like a great book.
Taleah says
What a touching story – this sounds like a book that can be a great blessing.
samW says
sounds like a great book – losing a brother & watching my mom & dad grieve (as we did too, but I think so different for a parent), this would have been a great resource
Christy says
Those tips are so true.
Bonnie says
I would love to win this. Emily’s story has been such an inspiration to my family, I would love to read about the family that was so helpful to yours, during that time.
Amy Mac says
Thank you for sharing.
kristy says
Your words here are so powerful and moving…. I can only imagine how comforting the book is. Thank you
allison says
this looks like a lovely book and i would love to read it.
Lois - Tenderherb says
I would love to read this!! As a mother who lost 3 babies in miscarriage, I can relate somewhat. But would love to be able to know how to stand by those who lose a child. I totally understood -we are not so strong to go through these things. It is only a relationship with Jesus Christ that carries us through!! Thanks for sharing this giveaway!
karen.n says
I just finished reading Lynnette’s first book. Her story touched my heart so I was interested to read your interview with her. Then I clicked over to Emily’s story… God bless you and thank you for being transparent and sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes yet hope to my heart.
Britta Kreps says
This post comes at a very pertinent time for me, as one of my friends recently lost her child.
Tabitha @ A Restful Place says
What a Testimony!
Jenn P says
I look forward to reading this book! Both you and Lynnette have encouraged me in my walk with grief over my son dying 20 months ago and I am grateful for not feeling so alone!
Kristen S says
Thank you for sharing your heart and such practical advise for how we can help other mom’s.
Tracy S. says
I would love to win this book!
Meredith S. says
What a great resource for hurting mothers!
CW says
Thanks for the chance to win. It looks like a good book.
Ashley says
This post touches close to home after losing our daughter 8 years ago the pain is unbearable, but living happens because with God all things are possible! Jesus was there 8 years ago even though I didn’t see it then I see it now. Praise the Lord he took our precious daughter home! Sometimes we don’t understand life and what happens, but God does answer us. We have a precious healthy daughter now! She is such a blessing from the Lord! I remember and pray and try and stay strong the children he gives me or not really mine, but his, and I need to thank him every day for my blessings! May God Bless your families!
sara karr says
Thannk you for such a great giveaway i plan to read this book some day
Rachel S. says
Very touchy, sad and interesting topic. A book that every woman should read it seems.
Stephanie says
Sounds like a wonderful book written out of the worst of life.
Corrie Johnson says
So thankful for this opportunity. I have a friend whose 16 year old son died last week.
Tanya - Lilyofthevalley says
This is another book on my wish list… 🙂
kelly says
I would love to read this! Thanks so much for asking the question of how to help a grieving mom. The answers were so helpful. I had a friend go through the loss of her child several years ago and I wish I had those answers then.
Mary says
As a mother, I can’t imagine going through the loss of a child. May God bless you both!
Thankful for God's Grace says
I have a friend that isn’t a Christian who lost her 2 year old daughter last year. This would be a wonderful resource to give to her. Thank you for sharing your heart and life with us. I pray that God would continue to comfort and strengthen you!
Kim says
What a beautiful interview. Lynnette’s book sounds amazing!
Susan L says
thank you! would love to win this.
Joni O says
Congratulations on the publication of your new book. May it touch many lives!
hugs
Carrie says
I just finished reading In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me. It touched my heart. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Tiffany Knarr says
Can’t wait to read this book!! Sounds like such an inspiring read.
Denise Kasbohm says
Thank you so much for sharing and being REAL
Denise Kasbohm says
I was wanting to say for being REAL and honest with us. You are truly and inspiration.
Wendy Hoff says
I can only imagine the pain of losing a child. I often pray that God will prepare me for whatever challenges may come. I also hope to be equipped to minister to others in pain.
Jena says
The thought of reading this book scares me and encourages me all at the same time.
Erin says
I worked with Courtney’s wife at the hospital and our children played together. I am looking forward to this book.
Beth Cook says
I “know” you both through MOMYS and other internet sites. I would love to win a copy of this book.
Stephanie says
This is such a blessing to read, truly the hands and feet of Christ in action.
Nataly says
As a mama who has lost a child I was blessed by this interview. Thank you, Amy and Lynnette for sharing it with us.
Elizabeth H says
I would love to win this book. Thank you for offering this give-away!!
nancy says
i have a lump in my throat already!
Thanks!
Nancy
schaeferclan(at)sbcglobal(dot)net
Grace Shetrompf says
Hugs. just huge hugs. Thats all I know to give. Thanks for sharing your heart.