We’ve all seen the peaceful paintings of a mother and a couple of children sitting down in a comfy chair to enjoy a special time of mother reading aloud. Yet, when we try to gather our brood for a beautiful moment of storybooks and snuggling, we end up breaking up kick fights and raising our voices to a painful screech in order to be heard over the chatter. We spend so much time fielding nonsensical questions and bouncing the baby so she will quiet down that we give up the whole fiasco only a few pages into the book. For days (and sometimes weeks), we avoid read aloud time altogether until we can no longer resist the siren song of those scrumptious pages and our unrealistic dreams of oil painting perfect afternoons. Once again, we seat the children around us and once again we are met with the same result.
How can this be?
Why Read Aloud time isn’t meeting our expectations
The perfection of the picture above is only logical if you have 2 children, neither of which are babies…or toddlers…or special needs…or human. That picture isn’t realistic, and to desire a painted scene as your real life isn’t reasonable. It’s lethal. It will destroy your sense of worth as a mom, and demoralize you to the point of wondering what in the world you are doing wrong that you can’t have a peaceful read-aloud time like every other mother out there. (see how irrational you’re being?!)
It’s time to change your motivation and your methods! It’s time to make peace with Read Aloud Time!
When I only had two children, I could make Read Aloud Time look much like the photo at the beginning of the post…for about 10 minutes. My curious son would soon begin asking questions, and my high needs daughter was soon overstimulated and needed a break. Fast forward a few years and a few kids, and I couldn’t make Read Aloud Time look like anything picturesque. Thankfully, I quickly stopped beating myself up and began to mold Read Aloud Time into something that worked for our family. Over the years, my methods have changed and my motivations have evolved. Let me share with you how I made Read Aloud Time peaceful!
The RIGHT motivation for Read Aloud Time
I want you to be honest with yourself. Are you doing Read Alouds because someone said you “had to?” Do you feel guilty if you don’t get them in? Are you longing for the ideal and image you have in your head of what Read Aloud Time looks like?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
Your motivation for reading aloud to your children needs to change in order for you to find peace. Read aloud to your children to introduce them to classics, help them calm down in the midst of a busy day, learn about a certain school subject, and enjoy a little bit of time together in fellowship. Reading aloud doesn’t require a certain amount of time in order for it to be legit. And it doesn’t require a certain atmosphere in order for it to “count.”
Something else I want to say here may differ from the opinions of others, but I do not believe Read Aloud Time should ever be a time of discipline. I know many people advocate for Read Aloud Time to be a time of teaching your children to sit still, but I don’t want to bring that kind of strife into the equation. I would rather carve out another time to discipline my way through teaching a child to sit. If I have an antsy or disruptive little one, I either let them run off to play in another room or I wait to do read alouds until they are occupied elsewhere, sleeping, or in a better mood. The surest way to make read alouds miserable is to spend the entire time disciplining. It is OK if you don’t read to all of your children all at the same time. This is especially true when you have a wide range of ages.
How to make Read Aloud Time work for your family
So, let’s get practical with the WHERE of reading aloud. Contrary to all those images of Read Aloud Time in your brain, you do not have to sit surrounded by your children in a floral chair near a window and a vase of flowers with soft music playing in the background. Read aloud time can have many homes and can change from day to day! Here are a few ideas to get your started:
*at the dining room table after a meal
*at the table during the meal
*in the car on a trip
*in the car while waiting for daddy to run an errand
*on the floor
*on the porch swing
*on the back porch
*on a blanket in the yard
*on the couch with the children on the floor
*on the couch with some of the children on the back of the couch
*in your bed
*in the childrens’ bedrooms with them in bed
*at the doctor’s office
One of the keys to WHERE is to have a book with you at all times and in all places where an impromptu Read Aloud Time might happen.
So, what about the WHEN? Frankly, the when can happen any time of day or night! Don’t feel you have to be locked into a certain time. Life happens and feeling guilty because you didn’t do your Read Aloud first thing in the morning makes for a rotten homeschool mom day. And don’t think you have to read aloud EVERY day in order to be a proper homeschool mom. Yes, it is good to shoot for a certain time each day (the children become accustomed to it and respond very well to that kind of rhythm), but your motivation for reading aloud is not to check off a box on your list. And remember, you don’t have to read aloud for an hour or even half an hour. 10-15 minutes is well worth it and often has you stopping before any of the children begin to fall apart and lose interest.
Over the years, we have done a Morning Basket time to read aloud, we’ve done a nightly read aloud through the Little House books, and we’ve done an afternoon read aloud time in conjunction with Tapestry of Grace. All of these Read Aloud Times have held their own special memories…memories my children will carry with them into their adulthood.
Now, WHAT should you read aloud?
At the risk of sounding trite, my answer has to be ANYTHING! Read from the Bible, a book of Bible stories, a newspaper, the internet, Dr. Suess books, a book of poems, a Beatrix Potter anthology, a cookbook, the manual to your coffee pot. Why? Because reading aloud from a variety of sources gives your children exposure to many different words and styles of writing. Take them to museums and read the plaques. Read billboards as you are driving. Read mail, magazine articles, and backs of cereal boxes!
Yes, I know that isn’t quite the answer you were looking for, but the more you can expose your children to the written word, the more they will acquire a taste for it and an understanding of sentence structure and vocabulary.
But, if you are looking for a list of books, I do have a few suggestions…
*Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt – work your way through the suggestions
*Book lists online – try Ambleside or curriculum sites
*Do a search on Pinterest for books lists
*All Through the Ages – a list of books based on time periods in history
The final suggestion I have is to get your hands on a good curriculum that uses living books – books that aren’t dry and boring, but alive and tasty! Examples of this are Five in a Row, Tapestry of Grace, Heart of Dakota, and Sonlight. I like that TOG gives me a direction for our read alouds as we move through history with the books we are reading. You can find a very good overview of living book curriculum HERE.
And trust me when I say that someday you will look back on your family’s Read Aloud Time and smile because you will no longer remember all the craziness and chaos or the times you didn’t fit it in to your day, or the child who never sat still. You will only remember with a sigh and a smile and those lovely rose-colored glasses history hands you how Read Aloud Time felt like your own little slice of Heaven.
Jess W says
You must check out Read Aloud Revival for book ideas and all things reading! 🙂
Samantha says
For the month of December, we read aloud from Ann Voskamp’s advent book every night as a family. We did use it as training time, but that is because of the topic. It was our family bible study time. It lasted about 10-15 minutes. For family bible study we have been working on the little to at least be quiet. It has been a process, but what has worked for our family.
The other key for me was to find something I actually wanted to read. It is hard to stick to it when I’m not interested in the book. The kids seem to fall into just about anything I pick, but they have their favorites.
Reading time for us is in the morning, during naptime for the littles and before bed. I find that I read more, but less at each time. It has really worked well for us.
Reggie says
I read aloud right after lunch and just before afternoon naps. I became intentional about it because my older children ADORE being read to. We do have those times where younger ones become disruptive. I solve that by sending them for naps early. My thought is, if you don’t care enough about being here to actually listen, then you can leave, there are others who want to hear the story. And I totally agree regarding intent. Examine the why behind your motivation. It can make a world of difference.
miranda says
Our read aloud times usually happen when the baby is having a nap. The children get out some colouring or they draw, sometimes they get out magnet shapes and a magnetic board or write with a dry erase marker on the whiteboard. Their hands are busy and it helps to keep their attention. Since we have started that I have found I can read a little longer before it gets crazy.
Susan Geddes says
when our children were 13, 12, 10, 3 and 1, the only way to get read aloud time in was to let the two youngest watch tv in another room. I felt terrible about it, but we have always tended to use literature based curriculum and I needed to find a way round – they would just scream and cry, rather than wander off or play quietly. Now a decade later we are doing the same programmes again… and these two can listen for hours. We read mornings, evenings, and the 12 yo won’t put his books down.
Amy says
Wow – now there’s some perspective! 😉
Diana says
I love this! Thank you! So many good ideas here.
I found it interesting how you advise NOT to use read-aloud time as discipline time, because that goes contrary to most of the advice I’ve heard. But I think I’m leaning that way too. You said:
“The surest way to make read alouds miserable is to spend the entire time disciplining. ”
I’m finding that to be extremely true! Right now I’m finding it easier to let littles be quietly occupied playing around us rather than seated quietly, because the latter turns into one long discipline situation. Ugh.
Off-topic, I just found an article in my blog-article-print-out parenting notebook that you had written back in 2011. I forgot how long I’d been reading your blog, but it has been such a ministry in my life. I have many of your articles printed off to re-read, and love it! Thanks for all you do!
Amy says
Oh, how fun!
Chris says
Thanks Amy
I have slowly begun to realize over the years how much I have beat myself up for not having the picture perfect ANYTHING about homeschooling:)
GUilt isnot a good companion to a Mama-and letting go of other peoples’ perceptions of ideal has to be our main goal in OUR style of homeschooling-most people don’t farm, have 7 kids, many involved in the farming, 4 with cognitive and behavioral issues, along with adhd, ocd and aspergers, speechissues, etc-sometimes, reading to them is just not fun because they don’t really GET what I am reading, and then it IS NOT FUN-thanks again for another great, up-close and personal post on managing our busy lives!!!
Melissa says
God bless you. Prayers for you and your family.
Kim Nolywaika says
This morning (before reading your post) I was thinking back to the time all of my children were young and we would sit on the floor with our big Newfie and read the great books. We had some great read aloud times – some of the best memories I have as a mom. Reading great books aloud helped me to keep all my marbles after reading and re-reading countless Dr. Zeuss books and rarely speaking in complete sentences. Young children really can follow great literature that seems to be over their head. Treasure Island, Ivanhoe, The Hobbit. How I miss the adventure!
Kim says
Thanks so much for this post. Before we moved a few years ago I was fairly consistent about read aloud times. But with a wide range of kids college to diapers I’ve found we’ve lost some of that.
When I was consistent with it my kids loved it and would beg me to go on for hours. Right after lunch or even as they were still finishing lunch I’d start reading. They would go get their drawing books and all sit down all over the floor drawing and coloring while mom read. I tend to like biographies, either historical or missionary so we have several sets of those that we have gone through.
Though I haven’t sat down and read with them as much in the past couple of years my kids love finding GA Henty’s and other audio books on you tube and listening through them over and over. Especially while doing a jobs where they stay in one place a lot more like laundry or working in the kitchen when it’s not to busy and chaotic.
Nicole says
Hello. This post does everything to make me feel better today. I used to read them chapter books and thats not really working out right now. Do you have any suggestions for starting chapter books? I did over the summer and it sort of worked at times and sort of didnt…but alot of times they had no idea what I just read about. Right now our reading time is pretty short and it usually honestly happens just when I get the chance. I am just now pregnant with our fifth and my kids are 6, 5, 3, 1. I am exausted, and sick (nasuea). Honestly I dont remember it being this bad but the last time I was pregnant I was not homeschooling yet. HOmeschooling in the 1st trimester is exausting!! Everything seems like a blur and I keep looking at all the areas of my home that need orgnaizing but I can barley muster the energy to dO Lessons and the laundry in the same day. Do you have any good tips for this time?
Amy says
Audio books! There are so many good ones out there. And don’t be afraid of video either – it’s a season and you aren’t warping them. They truly can learn so many things that way.
Susan Geddes says
absolutely. There might be a way of doing a lot of reading/talking when you feel nauseous, but I never found it x
Mrs.Momof8 says
I have SO felt that same way! I just had my eighth child. We have 13, 11, 9, 8, 6, 4, 2, and 5 days old…. Nausea and exhaustion always reduce my schooling to the MINIMUM amount possible. When my oldest was 7 and I was having number 5, I leaned on him alot. He did laundry, and cleaned the kitchen, he even cooked a few simple meals to help out. He is 14 now. While I worried a bit about giving him all that work, it has actually paid out dividends. He can run our house, Between himself and his next youngest sister, I could be laid up in the hospital for a week and the house would not stop functioning. They LOVE to help other people, and feel especially proud that they know enough about cooking and cleaning to actually be a blessing to friends and family in need.
During the times of nausea and exhaustion, give yourself grace. Remember that your kids are learning something, it might not be math workbook type stuff, but they are learning how to care for the sick, how to take responsibility for things, and all kinds of other character deepening skills.
Lots of love and empathy for you! No condemnation!
Jen Holm says
The best way for me to get in a non-disruptive storytime for my 2 year old is if her best buddy (4 year old) is not present in the room. Occassionally it works with them together, but often they just play or my 4 year old interjects her questions and comments that seem to disrupt the flow for my tot. And then my 4 year old needs a separate time so that we CAN take our time talking about what we just read (she is analytical) and 2 year old can be present to overhear our discussions. Their personality and age differance brings a little something different to their storytime needs.
kaci says
I follow Sarah Mckenzie read out loud revival for wonderful story books to go with the month. We read our books right before bed each child gets to pick a book and sit by mommy one at a time.
I also read out loud classical books in morning while the kids do some art.
We also have poetry tea time once a week.
I agree with you on trying to have a set schedule. It might take a week to get the schedule down or more but stick with it. Its so worth it! My kids are 6,5 2,2 and a newborn. The boys sometimes get out puzzles or building block during read out loud time. They have to keep their hands busy.
Thanks for the post.
Kristine says
I found the best time to read to my 9 children is when we are folding laundry. I read, they fold, or they stop folding to listen, but their hands are engaged and their minds are engaged, so it’s pretty peaceful. Bonus: we get some laundry folded!
Amy says
Great idea!
Amanda says
Amy, you are the BEST! ? I struggled with these things for a long time… but it is so worth letting go of expectations in order to make it work!
Amy says
Aww! Thanks! Once you wrap your brain around things not needing to be perfect, it is sooooo freeing!